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Guarding the Broken: (Nothing Left to Lose, Part 1) (Guarded Hearts) by Kirsty Moseley (14)


 

 

~ Anna ~

 

 

After about an hour of wandering around picking up menus for the local takeout places, I decided we had enough. I really needed a drink. My eyes landed on a bar across the street, and I guided Ashton in that direction. I ignored the peeling paint on the sign and the broken glass panel on one side. They served alcohol, and that was all I cared about. I looked up at Ashton hopefully.

He frowned, his eyes flicking between me and the crappy bar. “You wanna go in here?” he asked, looking at it distastefully.

I laughed at his expression. “Snob.”

“Anna, this doesn’t look like a nice bar,” he protested, narrowing his eyes at the door.

“Please?” I whined, pouting.

He sighed in defeat and pulled out his cell phone, calling Dean to tell him because he was standing at the end of the street, waiting for us. “Come on then, but stay with me, no bathroom breaks,” he said sternly.

I nodded excitedly. I hadn’t been to a bar for ages. I went through a stage when I first got away from Carter of sneaking out and going to bars and getting drunk, but that had been well over two years ago now. Lately, I’d pretty much been a recluse.

The bar was an absolute dive, but the drinks were cheap. There was a load of people that looked like students, so they were probably from my college because the campus was only a couple of minutes’ walk from here. The owner obviously didn’t think twice about serving underage people.

“So, what do you drink?” Ashton asked, dragging me to the bar.

“Whatever’s on offer.”

“Orange juice?” he suggested.

I laughed and shook my head. “I want a real drink.”

A disapproving frown settled on his forehead. “You’re not old enough,” he whispered, tracing his hand down my back. “I could get into trouble for buying you alcohol.”

I pouted, begging him with my eyes. “Please? I have a fake ID. I always drink. Please?”

He rolled his eyes. “One drink,” he conceded. “Want wine or something?”

I smiled and shrugged, but when the barman came over, I ordered two double Jack Daniels and cokes. Ashton looked at me shocked and then ordered an orange juice too. “Who’s the orange juice for?” I asked, pushing one of the drinks towards him.

“For me. I can’t drink while I’m on duty, so it looks like I’m t-total for the next few months,” he replied, shrugging and pushing the drink back towards me.

I gasped. That wasn’t fair at all. “Aww, come on, you can drink. Nothing’s gonna happen. This whole freaking guard idea is just stupid anyway!” I ranted, feeling like a spoiled brat.

He looked a little pained about something before he rearranged his expression. “No, Anna, you need guards so you don’t get expelled,” he joked, chinking his glass against mine, grinning. “Cheers.” I sighed and downed one of the drinks straight away; I didn’t want to be carrying two glasses around with me. “Oh man, you’re not one of those drinkers, are you?” he asked, looking a little horrified.

“One of what drinkers?” I grimaced from the alcohol after-burn.

He grinned, winking at me. “The ones that really can’t handle their drink and throw up over their boyfriends when they carry them home.”

I chuckled at his joke. “You never know, there’s a first time for everything. Oh and, by the way, if you see anyone you like and want to go for a quickie in the bathroom then let me know first so I’m not wandering around looking for you,” I said seriously, downing my next drink. We definitely needed to make that rule clear before it happened, because I didn’t want to be looking for him all night long. His mouth dropped open, making a pop sound as he looked at me, stunned. I frowned. The two drinks in quick succession were already making me feel slightly tipsy. “Jeez Ashton, I won’t throw up on you, I promise,” I vowed, laughing.

“I wasn’t thinking about that,” he retorted, frowning at me, looking annoyed about something.

“Well, what then, Pretty Boy?” I asked, waving to get the barman’s attention again as I ordered two more doubles and slid a twenty dollar bill across the bar.

Ashton shook his head in annoyance. “Anna, I’m not gonna leave you to go have sex with some girl at a bar! Is that what you really think of me?” he asked, looking a little hurt.

I raised an eyebrow. Honestly? Yes. He’d slept with me after three days and, technically, I was his boss, my guess was that he’d sleep with a girl he met in a bar – or wherever the hell else he met her.

“Oh come on, Ashton, we both know that you’re a player. You’re too damn pretty not to sleep around,” I teased. “I mean, damn, you got me into bed after three days, and I can’t even give out a handshake without flinching. You must be kick-ass at the art of seduction.” I giggled and downed my next drink.

“Did you ever think that maybe that means something? That maybe we’re meant to be together and that’s why you let me touch you the first time I ever met you?” he asked, looking at me intently.

He looked so serious; a dark, sexy, brooding look was etched on his face. I smiled and stepped forward, putting my hand up to his face and smoothing out his forehead with my fingertips. “Careful, you’ll get wrinkles on your pretty face,” I teased, going up on tiptoes and kissing his cheek. “Pool?” I offered, walking off towards the back where the pool cues were mounted on the wall.

He laughed quietly. “You play pool?” he asked, wrapping his arm around my waist as I walked up the stairs unsteadily.

“Nope,” I replied, popping the p and grinning. “Wanna give me a lesson on how to handle a stick?” I purred, holding it suggestively.

He smiled weakly. “Anna, please don’t be getting all drunk and flirting with me, that’s not on,” he warned, grinning and shaking his head.

“You shouldn’t be so sexy then, and then I wouldn’t want to flirt with you.”

He chuckled, smirking in my direction. “Right, I’ll get to work on that and solve any issues you have with my sexiness.”

I grinned. “Okay, if I’m not allowed to flirt with you, who should I flirt with? You scope out the bar and find me a suitable candidate,” I joked, stepping to his side.

“Okay.” He tapped his chin and looked around the bar. His eyes settled on an old man who was sitting in the corner playing chess with a friend. “Oh, old guy, three o’clock. He looks like he’d enjoy a bit of flirting from a pretty, young thing,” he teased, grinning at me.

“Hmm, I do like an older man, but maybe I should go for someone younger than my dad? He does like to call people ‘son’, so I don’t think it would go down terribly well if I brought home someone old enough to be his dad.”

Ashton laughed and collected all of the balls, putting them inside a black, plastic triangle. “How about these guys right here, coming up to talk to you,” he suggested, looking over my shoulder. I glanced around and, sure enough, two guys were coming over to us, both smiling. They were both about our age and judging by their ripped jeans and T-shirts, I would say they were college students too. One of them had strawberry blond hair and brown eyes, and the other was slightly taller than the first and darker in complexion, with brown hair and dark brown eyes. As they approached, I quickly moved to Ashton’s side and he stood up straighter, a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

“Hey, wanna play doubles?” the strawberry blond asked, smiling and nodding towards the pool table.

Ashton smiled politely. “Anna? Wanna play doubles?” he asked, wrapping his arm around me. His touch made me feel better instantly.

“Um, yeah okay,” I agreed, shrugging.

“Great, I’m Tim. This is Rich,” the blond said, grabbing a cue.

“I’m Ashton. This is my girlfriend, Anna,” Ashton replied, smiling and nodding.

The guy called Rich stepped forward. “How about loser buys the next drink?” he suggested.

I laughed. “Are you guys trying to hustle us for drinks?”

Rich laughed. “No way, babe. All the tables are taken, that’s all. If you don’t want to play, we’ll wait until you’re done. I was just trying to make the game more interesting.”

“I don’t think we should play for drinks, I’ve never played pool in my life,” I admitted, downing my drink and pushing the glass onto the side.

Rich laughed. “You haven’t? Then I think we should definitely be playing for drinks,” he joked. “Or phone numbers?” he offered, raising one eyebrow.

Ashton’s hand closed over mine, pulling me closer to him. “She has enough numbers,” he answered for me. “Want to play or not because if you’ve just come over here to hit on my girlfriend, then you’re shit out of luck because she’s not interested.” His voice was stern and warning. You could almost hear the cop in his tone, or maybe that was just me because I knew that’s what he was. 

Tim held up his hands innocently and shook his head. “Hey, no problem, we only want to play pool,” he assured Ashton, jabbing an elbow into Rich’s stomach in warning. “Ignore him, he can’t help himself. When he drinks he gets verbal diarrhoea and tries to chat up anything that moves.”

“I’ll stay still then,” I joked, which seemed to diffuse some of the tension in Ashton. He smiled and laughed, his shoulders loosening as he rolled his eyes.

Tim and Rich were actually quite likeable guys; after the flirting incident, things settled down and we all played pool, laughing and joking around. As it turned out, I wasn’t very proficient at pool at all. In fact, I barely hit a ball, and all I kept doing was sinking the white. It was pretty good thing that we didn’t agree to play for drinks because my lack of skills would have put a serious dent in Daddy’s credit card.

Ashton had tried to teach me at first, showing me how to hold the cue, how to line up and where to angle it, but as soon as he leant over me and put his hands on mine, my mind was on other things. I couldn’t keep my mouth in check and at one point pondered out loud if it would be comfortable to have sex on a pool table or if you’d get carpet burn on your butt. That had made the boys howl with laughter and Ashton look at me with a lustful twinkle in his eye that made my stomach flutter and my body temperature rise a few degrees.

After about an hour, a couple of girls joined us. Apparently they knew Tim from school. The girls were called Serena and Monica. I didn’t like Monica. It wasn’t that she didn’t seem like a nice person, in fact, she did seem nice and friendly and funny… it was just that she couldn’t keep her eyes off my bodyguard. Since she walked up the stairs to where the pool tables were, she had been eyeing him like a vulture waiting to pick his bones.

The more I drank, the more annoyed with her flirting I became. So when she put her hand on his arm, giggling profusely, I downed my drink and scowled. He was talking back to her but didn’t really seem interested. In fact, mostly he didn’t take his deep green, sexy eyes off me or the surrounding area, doing his job perfectly, but that didn’t help with the annoyance I felt towards the large-breasted blonde that was hitting on him right in front of me.

Deep down, I knew that I had no right to be jealous of him, but I just couldn’t rein it in. The alcohol in my system told me that what I was about to do was a terrific idea. Pushing myself up off my stool that I was perched on, I sauntered the three steps over to where Ashton was and smiled as I stopped in front of him.

His head cocked to the side, regarding me curiously. “Okay?” he inquired. I gulped and nodded, taking the final step towards him so that our chests were touching. His shoulders stiffened as I raised my arms and looped them around his neck. “Anna?”

I grinned and went up on tiptoes, pulling his head forward at the same time so that our lips connected softly. He made a small, startled grunt before he kissed me back enthusiastically, wrapping one arm around my waist and holding me securely against him.

I smiled against his lips, gripping my hand into the back of his hair as the kiss deepened and his tongue touched mine. I moaned into his mouth because of how nice it felt. Everywhere he touched on my body, little shots of electricity were sent into my system, and I actually forgot where I was. My whole body was burning for him; I couldn’t get enough. The kiss wasn’t nearly enough for me. I was so aroused that it was actually making my body ache.

He pulled back, making a moaning sound in the back of his throat. “Anna, stop it. Come on,” he whispered, pleadingly. But I couldn’t stop. I shook my head adamantly and pulled his face back down to mine again with such a force that I stumbled back on my drunken legs, pulling him with me as we bumped into the wall. The kiss didn’t break though; instead, he pushed me tightly against the wall as he kissed me urgently. He kissed me as if he could devour my soul, making my knees weak. It was probably lucky that I had the wall behind me; otherwise he would have made me swoon like they did in the olden days.

I gasped for breath as his mouth pulled away from mine, travelling down my neck. With my eyes closed, my hands slipped down to his ass, squeezing gently as I tangled my legs with his. “Damn, you have such an incredible ass,” I mumbled.

He chuckled, finally pulling his mouth away from my skin. Pressing his forehead to mine, his eyes locked onto mine as he cupped my face in his hands. His breathing was heavy; it blew across my face and ruffled my hair. “You need to stop drinking,” he mused. “You’re a damn horny drunk.” He smiled his sexy smile at me and my whole body seemed to come alive with passion.

“Wanna take me home to bed, Ashton?” My hormones were raging. I needed him. I chewed on my lip as I started to play it out in my head. I couldn’t help but wonder if it would be as enjoyable as last time, or whether I had maybe distorted the experience in my head, and it wasn’t actually as mind blowing as I thought it was. Maybe I’d be disappointed this time.

“That’s not going to happen,” he answered, shifting so that there was an inch of space between us.

I raised one eyebrow suggestively. “Not even if I beg you on my knees?” I countered.

He groaned, looking like he was in pain. “Anna, please, you’re making this hard for me,” he whined, looking at me hungrily.

“Isn’t that the point?” I joked, giggling wickedly. Actually, I would gladly beg on my knees if he’d enjoy that.

His fingers dug into my waist as he shook his head. “Enough,” he said sternly, looking directly into my eyes. There was no wavering in his tone; he wasn’t going to change his mind.

I frowned at his rejection. It felt like a slap in the face. Did he not enjoy the other morning? Wait… am I terrible in bed or something? Had I done something wrong, or not done something? My mouth popped open and my face flushed with embarrassment.

His hands slid down my neck, across my shoulders and down my arms until they got to my hands. I gulped, still embarrassed as his fingers tangled with mine and he stepped back, smiling weakly.

“You two need a room or something?”

The comment made me jerk back into reality, and I realised we were in a bar, and not in private. Everyone and everything else seemed to disappear when I was kissing Ashton. Flicking my eyes over Ashton’s shoulder, I saw Tim and Rich fake gagging.

I giggled and bit my lip, unsure what to say. Ashton, on the other hand, obviously knew exactly what he should be saying. “Actually, yeah. I think I’m gonna take her home and finish this there. Nice to meet you guys.” He turned back to me and gave me a little tug away from the wall, holding me steady when I swayed on my feet. “Can you walk in a straight line?”

I raised one eyebrow. Clearly, he was implying I was intoxicated. “Yes, Officer, I can,” I flirted, winking at him. He chuckled but luckily no one else commented on the double meaning. He nodded and let go of my hands, watching me as my legs wobbled as if I was wearing high heels, even though I had flat sandals on.

Laughing, he quickly gripped my waist as the floor started to slope off to one side. “I’ll give you a piggyback.”

He lifted me, sitting me on the bar stool next to me before turning his back on me, bending and wrapping my arms around his neck. As his hands slipped under my behind, lifting me off the stool, fumbling to get a decent hold on me, I giggled wickedly.

“Not sure what you’re looking for there, Pretty Boy, but it’s slightly to the left,” I joked. Everyone burst out laughing and I blushed. “Oops, did I say that out loud?” I pressed my face into his neck as everyone laughed harder.

After sending a triumphant smirk in Monica’s direction, I waved and chirped goodbye to everyone else that we’d spent the evening with. The air was refreshing as Ashton carried me out of the bar and into the street. Dean was sitting on the wall outside the bar, playing on his phone under the haze of a street light. He looked up and stood as we walked out. His gaze wandered to me on Ashton’s back, and a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

I had no idea how long it took to get home. Most of the time I just had my eyes closed and my head resting on Ashton’s shoulder as he walked with long, confident strides. He and Dean were talking about basketball.

As we got into the lobby of our apartment building, Peter, the night guard, came walking down the stairs to meet us. No doubt Dean had called him to tell him his shift was starting when we got back.

Ashton carried me right into my bedroom, finally setting me on my feet and looking at me worriedly. “Can you stand okay?” He reached out, gripping my elbow.

I giggled and slapped his hand away playfully. “I’m not drunk,” I protested, plopping heavily down onto the bed and giggling as the mattress bounced, making me feel a little lightheaded. Raising one foot, I tried to unbuckle my sandals, but my fingers wouldn’t do what I told them to do.

Ashton laughed loudly, taking my foot and easily pulling the strap off for me before doing the other. “Which case are your pyjamas in?” he asked, walking over to the two cases in the corner of the room.

I actually had no idea. Did I even bring pyjamas? I guess I must have done. “Um, I don’t know. I’ll just sleep naked,” I suggested, waving my hand dismissively at the case full of clothes.

He closed his eyes for a couple of seconds. “Give me a break here. Do you honestly not know which one they’re in?” he asked, shaking his head and rifling through the clothes carefully.

“Nope.” I laughed, popping the p and smiling broadly. Hopefully if I’m sleeping naked, I’ll be able to convince him to ditch the clothes too. He sighed and zipped the case back up. As he stood up, he gripped his T-shirt, pulling it off over his head, exposing those edible abs and chest that made my mouth water.

He threw the T-shirt at me, hitting me full in the face with it. “Sleep in that. I’m gonna go check the doors and windows and stuff.” He turned and walked out the door, closing it behind him.

I burst out laughing at his second rejection. Embarrassment washed over me because I was just lusting after him and he wasn’t even slightly interested. Obviously I hadn’t learnt from my rejection at the bar!

Shaking my head at myself, I tugged off my clothes, leaving my underwear on, and slipped his shirt over my head. As soon as I had it on, I moaned in appreciation. It smelt incredible, just like he did. Pulling the neck of the shirt up over my nose, I climbed in the bed, surrounding myself with his scent.

He strutted in moments later, carrying the bedcovers from the room next door. His eyes were tight before he spotted me in the bed. I whipped my mouth and nose out of his shirt, but it was too late, he’d seen it. A smile slipped onto his face as I squirmed at being caught. It was almost as pathetic as if I’d just been leaning in and sniffing his hair or something. Bet his subconscious was screaming the word ‘stalker’ at him.

“Doors and windows all locked?” I asked, rolling onto my side to watch him take off his jeans and socks.

“Yeah, you’re all safe,” he replied.

“Of course I am, I have a big, bad boyfriend to look after me,” I flirted, dragging my eyes down his body. He sighed and spread the sheet out onto the floor before walking around to the other side of my bed, picking up the spare pillow. Catching on to his intention, I shook my head. “You can sleep in the bed,” I protested.

He shook his head, tossing the pillow down onto the floor. “That’s not a good idea tonight.”

I frowned. “Why not?”

“Because you, plus alcohol, clearly equals horny beast,” he threw at me before flicking off the light, surrounding us with darkness.

I frowned, listening to the rustling of him settling himself down onto the makeshift bed on the floor. I rolled to my side, squinting through the darkness, seeing that he was lying on his back. “I was hoping you’d want to sleep in bed with me tonight,” I whined, after a few minutes of silence.

“I do.”

Fumbling with the bedside light switch, I turned it on, narrowing my eyes at the sudden brightness. He groaned, cupping his hands around his eyes too. “Then why don’t you, if you want to?” I asked.

“There’s a difference between what I want, and what can happen. You’re drunk and you need some sleep. If I got in the bed with you, then stuff might happen and you’d hate me in the morning for taking advantage of you. I refuse to do that.” His tone was final and stern. I pouted, and he chuckled wickedly. “You have the cutest little puppy dog face I have ever seen.” He shook his head, smiling up at me.

“If I promise not to make a move on you, can I sleep with you?” I begged. After two rejections and someone flirting with him, the alcohol was making me insecure. I needed to know that he wasn’t going anywhere; I needed reassurance that he wasn’t going to walk out of my life like everyone else did.

He looked pained, like he wanted to but thought that he shouldn’t. “I don’t think you can keep that promise.”

I scoffed, making my mind up that I was going to prove him wrong. “You’re not that hot, Agent!” I protested.

“You think I am,” he shot back cockily.

I gasped and shook my head. “I’m pretty sure I can resist your hot ass. And I’ll prove it.” I threw off the sheets and swung my legs out of the bed. He grunted when I almost stood on him and then stumbled, falling down at his side and accidentally bumping his head with mine. “Shit. Ouch. Sorry,” I grumbled, sitting up and rubbing at my forehead.

He laughed, rubbing his head too, watching me curiously. “You alright? Where are you going?”

I rolled my eyes and pulled his pillow to the side so that there was some room for me to share it. “I’m proving my point that you’re not, in fact, as irresistible as you think you are.” I settled down on his sheet, and closed my eyes, waiting for him to lie back down too.

“Anna…”

I shook my head and patted the empty side again. “Lie down and shh. My hangover has started to kick in, so shut up and cuddle me,” I instructed, trying not to laugh.

He chuckled, shifting onto his side before settling himself down so he was facing me. I held my breath and prayed that he couldn’t see the effect that he had on my body. His beautiful green eyes were trying to hypnotise me, I could feel them pulling me in. I sighed deeply and scooted closer to him. The smile that graced his lips was beautiful as he shifted and moved one arm to the side, slipping it under my neck before wrapping it around me tightly.

With his beautiful, unique scent filling my lungs and the heat seeping from his skin to mine, my body relaxed for the first time in two days. Ashton just had this strange ability to make me feel whole, like I wasn’t broken anymore, like he was some sort of magical cure that I just couldn’t get enough of. He made all the terrible things seem to fade away, at least for a little while anyway. Setting my head on his chest, I tangled my legs in with his as he kissed the top of my head before turning off the light again.

It was easy to imagine while he was holding me like this that everything was normal, that he was really my boyfriend, that he wasn’t just doing his job, and that I wasn’t some screwed up, dirty piece of trash that would never be loved again.

When his breathing deepened and the soft snores resonated from his chest, I pulled back slightly so I could look at him properly. My heart was hammering in my chest as butterflies seemed to take flight in my stomach as I raked my eyes over his handsome face. I reached out a hand and brushed my finger tip across his cheekbone, tracing along the line of his jaw, smiling at the prickle of his five o’clock shadow. I’d done the same last night; it was like I just needed to touch him to make sure he was real or something.

He truly was handsome. I didn’t think I’d ever seen anyone so perfect, and he was such a lovely guy to go with it. It would have been so much easier if he were a jerk. I really hoped that I could keep this boy out of my heart, otherwise in eight months when he left for the stupid front line or whatever the hell he wanted to do, I was going to have another serious problem.