Marbles – These are bits of rubber scrubbed off tires when cornering. They gather in outside of the turn, and if a car goes wide into this area it will lose grip.

 

Over the years, my life had been shifting and now, I didn’t know who I was anymore unless I was with Sway.

When your life is one long range of sleepless nights, demanding obligations, and vain women, veracity was something you cherish. Something you need.

I had that with Sway, always had. Also, that wasn’t something I wanted to give up either.

That was until Charlie had me keep a secret for him, a secret that had the power to destroy all of us but, more importantly, Sway.

 “Jameson, it’s Charlie.”

“Uh... hey, Charlie,” I answered hesitantly, knowing why he was calling.

He cleared his throat. “I’m not calling to lecture you about my daughter, though I should.”

“All right.”

Charlie thought my intentions were wrong, and I thought his intentions were wrong. We didn’t see eye-to-eye most of the time.

“What I’m calling about are the negotiations for the track.”

I swallowed hard. I knew this was coming soon, but I didn’t think it would be this soon.

“Oh... did Phillip draft the paperwork for you?”

“He did, thank you. Tate has the paperwork for you to sign since he was here last weekend.”

“All right...” I sighed, “How long?”

He gave his own deep sigh. “Six months... maybe less.” You couldn’t miss the sadness in his voice. He didn’t want this anymore than I did.

It was as if Mike Tyson punched me in the stomach as I slid back against the wall in the hauler, letting my head fall forward. “Does Sway have any idea?”

“No,” he answered immediately. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say anything. Tate said he let something slip last weekend. I’d like to tell her myself. She deserves that much.”

It pissed me off to no end that he hadn’t told her yet anyway. This is not something you keep from your only daughter who lost a mother at six years old.

“I understand,” I choked, on the verge of tears. We may not see eye-to-eye, but I still loved him.

“She’s coming home Monday, right?”

“Actually, her flight leaves tonight after the race. She wanted to be home before the Northern Sprint Tour and the Outlaws.”

“I appreciate that. I need her here with me.” He paused, and I could tell he was choking up. “For a long time, I thought you were using her, but I see it. I know you love my daughter. And I know how much she loves you.”

I was quiet. I didn’t know what to say.

“Jameson... are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just... I want to be there for her, but I can’t.” I had so many obligations I couldn’t get out of.

“I know the feeling,” he agreed.

“When are you going to tell her?”

Maybe if he knew when, I could make a trip to see her and help her through it.

“I’m not sure yet... it’s not the type of news you spring on someone the moment they walk through the door, you know.”

 

That conversation replayed in my head constantly.

The thought of Sway being without both her parents was literally making me sick. The thought of Sway being without me was literally making me sick. So the moment she walked inside the hauler prior to the race I literally got sick.

First, I told her I loved her, then, I told her we couldn’t be together, and now when she got home, her dad was going to tell her he wouldn’t be around much longer.

If that wasn’t fucked up, I don’t know what is?

Charlie was diagnosed with metastatic brain cancer a year ago. Sway was in college at the time, focusing on getting her degree, which Charlie pushed because of his illness. He wanted her to take over the day-to-day operations of the track when he was gone. I thought it was selfish of him, and he thought I was selfish for not providing Sway with the relationship she deserved.

A few months ago, I received a call from him stating he wanted to meet with me and discuss some things. Worried something was wrong with Sway, I caught the next flight out and was in Elma later that night, where he told me he was dying. I freaked out, almost punched him in the face for leaving Sway when he was the only family she had left, but then the anger subsided and the grief set in. I’d known Charlie since I was seven, and over the years he’d become just as much of a father to me as Jimi.

He’d continued treatments over the last year, all without Sway’s knowledge, but now the treatments had run out. The cancer that started in his brain had now spread to the rest of his body.

Charlie had begged me not to tell Sway because he wanted to tell her himself. But how do you tell your only child you’re dying?

It wasn’t a conversation you bring up at the dinner table... and with Sway already losing her mother at such a young age to cancer as well, Charlie was having a hard time with it. So instead of dealing with reality and preparing her for the loss, he prepared her future, the future he wanted for her. As you can see, I was defensive and fairly grouchy when this topic was brought up.

But really, could you blame me?

When I flew out to see him in March, he asked that I take over ownership of Grays Harbor Raceway from him. Charlie knew he’d need to sell it. Sway wouldn’t be able to handle running the track and ownership all at once.

The plan was for me to take over ownership, and Sway would run the day-to-day operations with the help of Mallory and Emily, with Mark Kelly continuing as the track facilitator. There were a handful of maintenance guys, but other than that, there wasn’t a lot of help around. Not only that, but Charlie didn’t have the financial capability to hire more; I did though. With everything he had put into that track, he wanted and deserved for it to pass into capable hands.

I didn’t have time to deal with the operation of an entire raceway, but I damn sure wasn’t about to let the track and the people down who had given me my start, so I agreed.

I was completely against Charlie insisting Sway take over the operation of the track, but he was convinced this was what Sway wanted. Part of me blamed him for the reason why I couldn’t be with Sway. Instead of thinking of his daughter’s happiness, or my happiness, he came up with the plan for her.

The only other people who knew Charlie was sick were Mark Kelly and my attorney, Phillip Clemons. Tate and a few others had noticed how sick he was, but Sway hadn’t.

Sway was obtuse to a lot of things in this world. She was just like her mother at times but that was Sway; crazy, irrational, caprice natured Sway, who I was madly in love with. I hardly recognized myself without her. I was so confused for so long, wondering what was real in the life that I was living that I never looked at what was right in front of me until she left Daytona in February.

She was there when my career began, and I had no doubt in my mind Sway would be there when it ended. I had chosen this profession to follow my dreams and, in exchange, I was sacrificing my sanity to do this, not to mention my personal life. I had no personal life and the personal life I wanted, I couldn’t have, or at least I thought I couldn’t have.

I don’t know when my relationship with Sway went from platonic to something more, but to this day, I could vividly remember the numbness and emptiness that came when she was no longer there every day. When I met Sway, how could I have known that years later our lives would be intertwined to the point of co-dependency?

Co-dependency was a strong word when you think about it. Normally I’d associated it with some sort of chemical dependency and, really, that was exactly what Sway was to me. I felt the same blissful high when she was around and the wretched withdrawal when she wasn’t.

When Charlie insisted that she go back to college and become an adult, as he put it, I saw how much it hurt her to leave but she did it anyway because he had asked it of her. Knowing why she did it, how would it be okay for me to do the same and ask her to stay?

Selfish, right?

Well, I did something even more selfish by asking her to stay with me for three weeks, and then telling her that “friends with benefits” was all I could offer her.

I honestly thought that was all I could offer her, and I honestly thought that was what she wanted from me. I couldn’t ask her to give up everything and follow me around like the pit lizard everyone thought she was to me.

What I failed to realize was since Sway’s first sexual experience, that was all she had ever been to men and now, I demeaned her in the worst way.

Sitting there in my car, getting ready for the Sears Point race, I couldn’t focus on anything but Sway needing me when she went home, so when I looked up, hoping Sway would come by once more prior to the race but saw Chelsea, I was shocked. I’d seen her around the track, but hadn’t actually spoken to her since the day I left Elma five years ago.

“What do you want?” I seethed. We didn’t exactly part on good terms back then.

If there was one person I hated most on this earth, it was Chelsea... well, Darrin, too... and let’s not forget about Mariah. All right, so I hated a lot of people, but for good fucking reason.

“Oh, Jay, don’t be like that,” she uttered skimming her fingers along the window net of my car. “I know you missed me.”

I cringed, she made my skin crawl. “Don’t call me Jay for one,” I snapped refusing to make eye contact with her, “and what the fuck do you want? Get off my race car, you’ll taint it.”

“I have some paperwork to give you.” She smiled. “Tate said he needed me to give it to you. He has to fly to Nashville tonight.”

My pessimistic nature got the best of me as I glowered at her.

“All right,” I agreed with a good amount of hesitation. “I’ll meet you after the race.”

She smiled. “See you then.”

Wary of her intentions, I watched her walk away, making sure she didn’t go near Sway. The way she strutted made me choke back bile that I was ever involved with her.

Though my gut was telling me otherwise, I really hoped it wasn’t a ploy to get me alone. This had bad news written all over it, but I needed that title transfer and, more importantly, I needed it without Sway’s knowledge. If she knew about the transfer then she’d know something was wrong with Charlie. For one, I promised him, and two, I really didn’t want to be the one who told her.

When Chelsea was out of sight, and I knew she hadn’t stopped at the pit box where Sway was, I looked away, but quickly looked back when I saw a wide pair of emerald bemused eyes staring back at me.

What was like a knife stabbing me in my chest, was seeing tears streaming down her cheeks from fifteen feet away. I was breathing heavy. I was going to have a heart attack any second if I didn’t get out of this car right then and run to her.

Thankfully, Spencer stuck his head in the window and brought me back to reality. Wanting to comfort her, I’d already undone my belts to get out.

“You got this dude,” Spencer bumped my fist with his own. “Be smart out there.”

I didn’t say anything, but motioned for him, with a flick of my wrist, to raise the net as the gnawing feeling deep inside my chest began to ease.

Knowing what was on the line, I had to get focused. I couldn’t afford another mishap on the track after last week, let alone another DNF. As it was, I had already slipped to fourth in the standings with the dock in points.

“Jameson, it’s Aiden. Watch your temps today. Cole’s already saying his are high. But I guess... well, just see how it goes... you know what you’re doing.”

Here we go again. Aiden could never actually say what he needed to.

When I met Aiden Gomez, I had no idea he was borderline insane but what spotter wasn’t? I also became aware very early on that he was physically incapable of deciding on anything. Simple tasks like what he might have for breakfast took him a good thirty minutes some days. It drove me insane, but it also provided me with entertainment when we traveled. I’d instigate it by adding fuel to his internal debates. When he’d ask what I thought, I’d answer him with a question; he hated that.

This was why he’s only twenty-three and already has an ulcer. He can’t make a decision to save his fucking life.

The bottom line was, when you were on the road as much as we were ... you needed the entertainment where you could get it, and we got it with Aiden.

In addition to my instigating, I convinced him to do things that would ordinarily piss most people off, but he usually did it without question. This provided Spencer and I with ample amounts of entertainment. It’d usually start with Aiden saying something along the lines of, “I don’t want to piss anyone off.”

Then I’d say, “Let me worry about pissing people off.”

He’d smile and say, “You’re off to a great start.”

The thing about Aiden was, even though he was borderline insane, had an ulcer, couldn’t commit to something as simple as what kind of eggs he would like, and didn’t want to piss anyone off, he was exactly what our team needed. If not because we needed a spotter, then at least for entertainment purposes. I wasn’t exactly thrilled he was dating my sister, but regardless, they made it known that wasn’t up to me.

“All right bud, watch your shifts. You’re coming to the green this time by,” Kyle announced, as I led the field down to the green.

I got such a rush of adrenaline behind the wheel. It really was an indescribable feeling. And it wasn’t a feeling I obtained anywhere other than in a race car. For me, there was something about being behind the wheel of an eight hundred horsepower car that gave me power. A power I had nowhere else but behind the wheel. It was addicting... to say the least.

About forty laps into the race, the track was changing fast. I had no front grip and was currently using Cole through the curves to not hit the wall or slide into the sand pits. His car was fast and I doubted that he wanted to be battling for third with me, but Cole was the best teammate a driver could ask for.

“I’m slippin’ all over the place. I can’t keep it straight,” I told Kyle. “We need to make a change.”

“Other than the slipping, do you feel anything else?” Kyle asked. “Any adjustments you want made?”

“I don’t know what’s going to help. It’s hot out here—the tires just slip. There’s no grip anywhere.” I was sweating like a motherfucker in the car, and all I could think about was Sway and the way she looked at me when she saw Chelsea walking away from my car.

How many more times was I going to break that woman’s heart?

My distractions engulfed me as I went into turn two around the half-way mark.

I tried to correct it but ended up fishtailing and slammed into the outside wall coming out of two.

“Goddamn it, son of a bitch! Let’s add one more fucking thing to my already fucked up day!” I hollered.

“Heavy damage to right rear quarter panel,” Aiden announced.

Limping my way back around to the pits, the guys assessed everything. “Something broke on the rear,” I told them.

“Sway bar,” Mason said. “Gentry, grab a new link. Shane, check out the lower control arm.”

“Uppers bent into the header,” Shane said. “Lower broke off completely.”

“Take it to the truck,” Kyle said brusquely. “There’s no time to fix it.”

He caught an untold amount of heat from Jimi and Simplex when we didn’t finish well.

I can’t wait for tomorrow to explain this one.

Every Monday, we had a team meeting to discuss the race with management (my dad and Uncle Randy). It wasn’t exactly the highlight of my week when we didn’t place well, nor was it for Kyle.

Loosening my belts, I started throwing shit around the inside of the car, ripping hoses away; anything to make me feel better and, let’s face it, when I am pissed I throw things, I‘ve never grown out of the terrible twos.

I was fucking livid by the time I pulled the car in front of the truck. Most of the crew was already there with the same dejected look they always had when we didn’t finish well

How much worse can one day get, really?

I didn’t make eye contact with anyone when I got out. I was vaguely aware of the fact that Sway was leaning against the side of the hauler as I slammed the door shut.

Reaching for anything I could get my hands on, I threw it against the wall. Not only had I single-handedly wrecked a race car that could have been salvaged with a few minor adjustments, I got news that Charlie only has around six months to live, and I would soon be the owner of a racetrack.

But, the motherfucking cake topper of it all was that I told Sway I loved her and then broke her heart. On purpose.

You deserve a medal for the Biggest Jackass of the Year.

Sliding back against the wall, I was ready to vomit any second when Sway stepped inside.

“Jameson?” her shaky voice was timid.

“You shouldn’t be in here right now, Sway.” I warned. Though I’d never hurt her physically, I didn’t want her to see me like this. As it was, she’d bore the burden of my temper enough.

Of course, she didn’t listen, why would she? Sway did what she wanted, and when it came to me, she’d do anything, I knew that.

Sitting there in silence beside her, I was moments away from telling her that I couldn’t do any of this without her and I needed to be there when Charlie talked to her. I would literally walk away from all this for her. But would that really be what she wanted, or needed?

“Jameson?”

I looked up to see Chelsea standing at the door.

She smiled at me and the bile returned. “Are you ready?”

Oh God, what if Sway thinks I’m going with her because I want her?

I couldn’t tell her why I was going with her. If she knew about the transfer, she’d know something was wrong with Charlie.

“I’ll be... there in a minute,” I quickly said to avoid telling Sway anything.

My eyes focused on Sway’s, wide with pain. I looked away unnerved by the fact that once again I broke another piece of her heart.

Would there be anything left soon?

Throwing the piston in my hand at Chelsea was moments away from happening, as I tossed the cool metal back in forth. It was tempting.

“I’ll be waiting,” her voice was like nails on a chalkboard.

“I’ll let you get to... that,” Sway choked out when the door shut.

The heart attack feeling returned once again. I swallowed over the lump in my throat, trying not to vomit. My entire body was now shaking... I was a fucking mess over this woman.

My heart broke when I saw tears in her eyes. I held my breath waiting for her response knowing it wasn’t going to be what I wanted.

Sway started to get up; unconsciously I reached for her hand.

“Sway,” my voice was failing me. “Don’t go, please,” I begged. I wanted her to look at me, maybe then she’d see that I didn’t want Chelsea but she refused, making a vital effort not to see me.

“Why?” her shoulders shrugged. “Why should I stay?”

“I ... don’t want you to go,” I admitted. “Not like this.”

She let go of my hand and leaned against the counter, her back still to me. “Why, Jameson?”

I have a temper, that was no lie, but when it came to Sway—and letting her go—I knew no bounds. I lost all bearing and threw the piston toward the wall.

“Fuck, Sway,” I tried to control my voice and keep from yelling at her, but it was useless. “What do you want me to say? Just fucking tell me what you want to hear and I’ll say it. I’ll say whatever you want me to!”

In that moment, that’s what you choose to say? Fucking idiot.

“That’s the problem, Jameson. I shouldn’t have to tell you.” She sobbed and walked out.

My terrible twenty-twos shined. I reached for anything within reach and smashed it. When I ran out of things to throw, I destroyed the cabinets, computers ... anything I could. Knowing it was wrong, I tried to stop myself, but I couldn’t.

Nothing made sense to me. Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn’t she have everything she’s ever wanted? Why couldn’t she have her parents? Why couldn’t she have me?

Those were the constant questions I asked myself. And the most important, why couldn’t I have the dream and the girl.

I struggled with this for a long time after Charlie had told me, but why her? Why Sway, and why did I have to fall in love with her and complicate her life even more? Why couldn’t we have just been friends?

The problem was, for two people like Sway and me, the bond couldn’t be just friends. The intensity was so strong it wouldn’t be fair to be with someone else. There was absolutely no way either one of us could have given ourselves to someone else entirely. No matter what we did, there would always be a part of both of us that belonged to the other.

I fell back against the wall, my own sobs overtaking me. I never cried, but this... what I did to Sway, drove me to complete hysteria. I was a blubbering fucking mess on the floor. I wasn’t sure if they were tears of sadness or tears of frustration. Either way, I was feeling both emotions so strongly in that moment it was hard to decipher which was stronger.

My eyes were red, my face pale, my hands bleeding, and my heart was broken as I made my way over to Tate’s hauler. Chelsea was there waiting. She had changed into a short black dress with matching heels that made me want to vomit again.

“Finally,” she stood and huffed. “What took so long?”

“Where’s the paperwork?” I asked, petulantly burying my hands in my pockets.

“Follow me.” Biting down on her bottom lip, she motioned with her finger as she strutted away.

“No, no, no,” I shook my head refusing to move toward her. “You said you had paperwork for me. I’m not leaving with you.”

She laughed bitterly. “You either follow me, or you don’t get the paperwork. I know you need that paperwork.” She smiled iniquitously. “So I suggest you follow me.”

I tensed, my jaw clenched tightly. I needed that title transfer. If I didn’t get it from her, I’d have to fly to Elma and get it from Charlie—which wasn’t really an option since I needed to be in North Dakota tomorrow for a meeting with Simplex to discuss sponsorship for my sprint car team.

I sighed heavily, following her. “Fine.”

Once we got to the car, I looked around hesitantly. You know that feeling you get when something is wrong?

I was getting that one, with a big flashing sign telling me this was a trap.

“Where are we going?” I asked when the car started moving.

Some overly large dude was driving, so there I sat in the back seat pressed up against the door because I refused to get any closer to her than I already was.

She smiled without answering.

I was so fucked.

“I got what I wanted,” she crooned softly crossing her legs in my direction when the car stopped in an open field. “Now, how about we catch up?”

A quick look around confirmed no one in sight but an open field with dead grass and a few abandoned barns in the near distance.

“Where the hell are we?”

She shrugged with a smile. “I just wanted to be alone with you,” she answered with another seductive smile. “You know you want me, Jameson.”

I started coughing and choking before I stopped abruptly, glaring at her.

“Sorry, I was choking on some bile,” I told her with a smug smile of my own.

“Oh don’t be like that.” Chelsea moved closer.

I reached for the door handle while the driver locked it. “You can either play nice ... or I’ll have Peter there,” she motioned to the driver, “help me detain you.”

She was practically on top of me now. “Get off me!” I snarled each word distinctively pushing against her.

She pushed forward, pressing her chest in my face. “I only want to play.”

Yet again, I lost it reaching for her upper arms. “I mean it Chelsea—get the fuck off me before I throw you off.”

She glowered for a moment; a sinful smile grazed her lips. “Have it your way, I got what I wanted.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Sway, she believes that you left with me.”

“What?”

“Darrin told her we left together...” her voice trailed off. “It’s exactly what I wanted.”

My heart was pounding in my chest with anger, and not just anger, but outright rage as I processed what she said.

“You see, Jameson, I have a plan,” Chelsea intoned. “I want you back, and I’ll stop at nothing to do so. You were meant to be with me... so if your precious Sway gets in the way... I can’t say that she won’t get hurt.” She let out a dark laugh. “It’s a pity she won’t have any family left after Charlie’s gone. She’s going to need someone.”

Rage boiled inside me. I was absolutely furious that she had deceived me but, more importantly, she had let Sway believe a lie. Not that I hadn’t already lied to her but, Christ, she’s been through enough already.

The adrenaline coursed through me, burning like acid.

I responded as I always did.

Within a second, I had my forearm pressed to her throat; her body was constrained against the seat with me hovering over her. “Whatever you have planned you deceitful fucking bitch, it will not work.”

“It’s already worked,” she strained. I had my arm pressed so tightly to her throat she could barely breathe. “She thinks we left together. That’s all I wanted. I can’t say the same for Darrin and Mariah, but I only wanted you in all this. I wanted you back.”

“You’ll never have me,” I growled back jerking her forward as though I was going to kiss her. And just before my lips touched hers, I slammed her back against the seat.

“You never had me in the first place,” I snapped.

The Vin Diesel fucker in the front seat pulled me backward with little effort and threw me to the dirt ground. I didn’t try to get up; the dude was big as fuck and could kill me in seconds if he wanted, I was sure of that and wasn’t willing to test the theory.

Chelsea stepped out of the car approaching me, the tiny pebbles in the dirt crunched beneath her heels. Kneeling beside me, her voice was sharp and vengeful. “It’s a shame you can’t see we were meant to be together,” she breathed. “You’ll see.” Rising, she strutted back to the car.

So there I sat, in the middle of the desert, waiting for someone to pick up their goddamn cell phone, so I could get them to come get me. I started walking back to the track, well I thought I was, I couldn’t be sure though. I had no idea what direction it was.

I dialed Spencer, Aiden, Tommy, Alley, Kyle, and then resorted to calling Ethan, Harry Sampson’s crazy kid who bought lawn mower spark plugs for my race car one time.

Thankfully, he picked up. “Dude, where in the hell are you?”

“Disneyland,” I answered, “Come get me.”

He was quiet for a moment, probably trying to decipher if I was lying or not. “How’d you get to Disneyland?” he stammered.

And to think I hired him.

“Ethan, fuck, I’m not at Disneyland!” I snapped. “I’m in the middle of nowhere ... I think I’m on Tolay Creek Road, though.” Searching my surroundings, I saw a street sign ahead and began walking toward it.

“How did you get out there?” Ethan was still confused, which wasn’t all that surprising. After all, he did think lawn mower spark plugs would be fine for a hundred thousand dollar race engine. “Your car is still at the track.”

“Ethan,” I sighed. “Just come get me. I have to get to Elma tonight.”

Another hour later, he finally picked me up and headed to Sonoma Sky Park where the jet was waiting.

Ethan tried asking what happened, but I ignored him.

I had to figure out a way to get that title transfer without Sway knowing, or at least before Charlie told her. Sway wouldn’t want me to take on such a huge responsibility of track ownership, but if it were already done ... she wouldn’t have a say. I also had to figure out a way to get her back and find out what in the hell Darrin, Mariah, and Chelsea were up to. Oh, and I had to run a sprint car team and be the NASCAR Rookie of the Year like everyone expected me to be with racing in my blood.

To say I had a lot on my plate right now was the understatement of the fucking millennium.

Even with all of this, all I thought about was Sway. I knew I was wrong to lead her on the way I did, but I had to know if she felt the same way about me. And when she told me she did, I freaked out because the last thing I wanted was her to feel the same way ... it made it that much harder to end it.

I realized I made no sense at all and that I fucked things up beyond belief, but that seemed to be the only thing I was capable of doing.

Sway always implied that she was crazy and irrational, but I was just as crazy and irrational. We were perfect for each other.

When we got to the airport, I noticed a patrol car parked beside the jet and knew it couldn’t be good.

“What did you do?” Ethan asked motioning to the police car. Two officers were now standing threateningly beside their cruiser when I got out.

“Nothing,” I mumbled and trekked toward the jet.

“Mr. Riley?” a shorter, blonde-haired officer asked.

“Yes,” I answered adjusting the strap of my bag on my shoulder.

He stepped forward reaching for my hands. “You’re under arrest for sexual assault of Chelsea Adams.”

I laughed maniacally shaking my head. “You have to be fucking kidding me?”

Spencer and Aiden made their way over when they saw the officers put the handcuffs on me.

“I’m afraid not, sir,” he answered, adjusting the cuffs. “She’s been admitted to the Sonoma Valley Hospital.”

What the fuck?

“Dude!” Spencer yelled. “What did you do?”

“Nothing, call Phillip,” I ordered.

I was fingerprinted, had blood drawn, my picture taken, asked if I wanted to give a statement to the officer, to which I told him to fuck off and now here I sat in a holding cell with some guy named Chester waiting for Phillip or my dad to come bail me out.

With my one phone call, I chose to call Charlie.

“Charlie... it’s Jameson.”

He laughed. “Should I be worried that you’re calling from jail?”

“No. It’s nothing I can’t handle, just a misunderstanding. Listen... I never got the paperwork from Tate.”

“Yeah, he called to say he’s sending it back. Something about you assaulting his girlfriend,” Charlie laughed again. “So I guess I could send it to Phillip for you?”

Why is he laughing, how is this funny?

“No, I’ll come there.”

He laughed yet again. “Did you forget you’re in jail?”

Right.

“I mean when I get out. This is just a misunderstanding,” I sighed. “What did Tate say?”

“Well he’s not too happy. He screamed a lot and said he couldn’t believe after all he’s done for you that you would assault his girlfriend.” He was quiet for a moment. “You know, Tate has connections with Simplex. Why would you risk something like that?”

“I didn’t do anything!” I yelled, instantly forgetting who I was talking to. “Sorry, Charlie... I’m just... Sway thinks I left with Chelsea because I wanted her.”

“I see.”

“Is she home yet?”

“Yeah,” his voice seemed concerned for good reason. “She went straight into her room.”

“Will you tell her... never mind.” Dumb idea. “I’ll tell her myself.”

“That’s probably a good idea. See you soon kid.” He laughed. “Well, I hope so.”

He was just like Sway with the fucking laughing.

Laugh it up, chuckles.

I know he had some sort of satisfaction that I was in jail.

I sat in that cell the entire night, Chester and me, since my dad refused to post my bail.

I learned a lot about Chester last night. He was a drunk, his only family was his dog, and he kept it that way because he couldn’t speak. He loved NASCAR, and, more importantly ... me.

“You’re Jameson Riley!” Chester exclaimed jumping up and down when I entered the cell.

Now if you’ve never seen a two hundred and fifty pound man jumping up and down, you’re not missing much, let me tell you. I feared for my life.

“No, I’m not,” I told him, backing away toward the corner of the cell near the questionable toilet. “You have me mistaken for someone else.”

“Yes, you are.” He smiled and showed me a picture of us at a race. “I met you before.”

I agreed that it was me, since I feared for my safety and all.

He forced me to sign his chest, and I will say forced because he pinned me to the wall until I did. He later informed me he was going to have my signature tattooed on him.

The dude was whacked out of his goddamn mind. I never did figure out why he was in there, not that I could have understood the toothless bastard anyway.

I’ll tell you something else I realized... I had a real problem with the Sonoma County Sheriff’s Office after that night.

Who thought it’d be a good idea to put me, an extremely good-looking race car driver, in a cell with this guy? It was complete stupidity in my book.

What kind of operation were they running here?

When I was released, I asked how much his bail was set for and the charges. Maybe I could be a nice guy after all and give this wacko a break by posting his bail.

The clerk laughed at me, “Oh, Chester... he’s in here weekly.”

“Seriously,” I raised my eyebrows as I signed the release papers.

“Yeah,” she leaned in closer, her brown eyes amused. “Male prostitution,” she said winking.

“Right,” I nodded. It made a lot of sense from our conversations last night. I looked over at Phillip, my attorney, “Don’t ask.”

He patted me on the back laughing. “Your dad is waiting at the airport.” He paused, looking over my appearance. “I once flew to Germany for a girl.”

“How’d that work out for ya?”

He smiled, “Don’t ask.”

“Find out what the hell they are up to,” I ordered as we walked outside the jail. “I’m not sure what it is, but it’s not good.”

The bright morning sun shocked me at first after spending the night in a dark cell. I took a deep breath of the warm summer morning. It hurt, but not my lungs, it hurt deep inside my heart because for the first time in three weeks, I didn’t wake up in Sway’s arms.

“Will do kid, now take care of yourself. I’m out of town for the next few days so... try not to get arrested.”

I shook my head. “I’ll try not to.”

An hour later, I was on a plane with my dad, of all people. Not the person you want to bail your ass out of jail, believe me.

I’d been listening to his ranting since we left Sonoma, and I had a feeling it would be this way until we reached Olympia, and then, of course, the drive to Elma.

Thankfully, he agreed to let me fly to Washington today, and then I had to leave first thing in the morning, fly to North Dakota and meet with Simplex. Then, I fly to Loudon for a press conference and then the race weekend began again. It was an endless cycle.

The only problem about flying to Elma was that he was coming with me as he wanted to look over the paperwork Charlie was having me sign, and I had a feeling that he wanted to be sure that I made it back to North Dakota tomorrow.

Phillip assured us Chelsea didn’t have shit on me. She claimed I assaulted her, which I did, but she also claimed I forced her to give me oral sex.

Yeah, that never happened.

The Vin Diesel dude claimed he witnessed the entire thing and feared for his safety, so he did nothing. He had at least a hundred pounds on me, maybe more, so I doubted the charges would hold.

My biggest concern was Tate. He was good friends with Marcus, president of Simplex, so if Tate said pull my sponsorship... Simplex would pull my sponsorship.

I had to think of a way to get to Tate without Chelsea and explain this. Also, Tate was a friend of mine. I couldn’t have him thinking this lie. I may be an asshole most of the time, but I valued the relationship I had with him. After all, he did give me a start in NASCAR.

“You’ve got more talent behind the wheel of a race car than anyone I’ve ever seen, but you’re fucking it up with this goddamn attitude of yours.” Jimi poured himself another shot of whiskey.

Here we go again.

“Jesus Christ, Dad, give it a fucking rest already.”

I couldn’t take much more of this shit. First, he makes me spend the night in jail with Chester and now I get this four-hour long lecture after I told him everything that happened, including the shit I didn’t want him to hear and promised Charlie I wouldn’t.

“I won’t give it a rest. When are you going to get your shit together and be the man I raised you to be?”

I finally looked at him dumbfounded. I knew I’d missed various parts of what he said that I personally felt didn’t pertain to me, but how was this related?

“Huh?”

“With Sway,” he huffed. “Jameson, you’re going to lose it all if you don’t pull your head out of your ass and admit to yourself that you love her and want to be with her.”

“I’ve already lost her, and I don’t love her,” I lied.

Though I didn’t want to admit it, I fucking loved that woman so much it hurt to breathe without her next to me.

“Cut the shit!” He threw the newspaper he’d been looking at across the cabin. “You’ve loved that girl since you met her. I honestly thought you two would come around sooner when you decided to complicate matters by sleeping with each other. But no, you’re still as dumb as you’ve always been when it comes to women.” He sighed and looked over at me.

You know the look, the one that says I’m about to tell you something important so you had damn well better listen, yeah, that look.

“You can have it both ways, son. It’s all about balance. You need a woman who can understand the sacrifices you’ve been forced to make and she’s that woman. She’s always been that woman for you. Any man worth his salt will stick up for what he believes is right, but it takes a better man to admit when he’s wrong.”

“What the hell did that last statement have to do with anything, and why are you quoting Andrew Jackson?” I asked laughing.

“Do you pay attention to anything?”

“I do when it makes sense,” I chuckled. “That didn’t make sense.”

“You’re a fucking idiot, and I’m ninety-nine percent sure, you’re not my child,” he chided, returning to his whiskey. “You don’t even look like me.”

Could I have it all?

My plan was to see Charlie, sign the transfer paperwork, find Sway, tell her I’m sorry and then beg her to take me back.

I wouldn’t beg her to take me back as my friend with benefits though. I wanted more. I wanted her to be my girlfriend and eventually my wife.

Okay, well now you’re getting ahead of yourself there, sport.

First, get her to forgive you for being the President of Dick’s International. Then you can think about marriage.

I didn’t care, though. If Sway said, “marry me” right now, I’d fly to Vegas and do it tonight.

I didn’t care any longer that we lived across the United States from each other, or that we might not see each other very often. I had to be with her. Only her.

If these last three weeks or these last twenty-four hours had taught me anything, it was that I loved Sway more than anything. At this point, I would stop at nothing to prove that to her. She needed me whether she knew it or not.

At least, she was going to need me soon, and I would be there for her.

Looking back to all the times I thought I didn’t need her seemed so stupid now. It wasn’t that I wanted to be alone. I honestly believed no one ever wanted to be alone in life. But I was scared in the beginning.

What if I laid it all out there, and she didn’t feel the same way?

Then what?

What if it didn’t work out, and she wasn’t my friend anymore?

The heartbreak and not having her around wasn’t something that I could deal with. After Daytona was a prime example of that. Losing Sway was not an option.

I could have it all.

With Sway, we could have it all. I could prove it and if there was one thing I was good at, it was proving something I believed in.

I realized what had changed within me after she left.

The truth was, I’d give it all away to have someone love me for me and feel the way I did during those three weeks.

Was that really so much to ask for?

Well, probably, but I didn’t care anymore. I wanted more than just a taste.