Rev Limiter – A rev limiter is used to keep the engine from exceeding its maximum rotational speed and exploding into pieces of very expensive shrapnel and to stay within the speed limit rules on pit lane.

 

“So how was getting caught the morning after?”

“How the fuck did you know about that?” I growled at Emma with a mouth full of food.

“Spencer, who else?” Emma took a bite of her eggs, chewing slowly. “Look at it this way; they don’t know it was you.”

I let out the breath I’d been holding since she started talking. “I can’t say the same for Jameson,” I warned. “He knows about you and Aiden.”

“What do you mean he knows?”

“That’s exactly what I mean, Emma.” I answered taking another bite of my blueberry pancakes. “We saw you.” I raised my eyebrows at her as we sat there in the corner booth of the Cracker Barrel restaurant in Downingtown, Pennsylvania.

We had arrived in Pennsylvania early this morning and decided to get some breakfast before Jameson had to be at the track.

Alley and Spencer were already at the track so Jameson invited Emma and Aiden to come along with us and I knew the reason why.

Emma slouched in the booth throwing her tiny arms over her head. Aiden was in the bathroom and Jameson suddenly had to make a phone call when Aiden got up.

I’m pretty sure he was having a conversation with him about what we witnessed. I actually feared for Aiden’s safety, which was why I kept looking over my shoulder to see where the hell Jameson had disappeared to.

Emma perked up with a sense of alarm. “Wait?” She glanced around suspiciously. “Where did Jameson go?”

I tried to play it off, I really did, but my facial expression must have betrayed me.

Emma threw her napkin on the table. “That stupid protective asshole!” she spat and tried to get up. “Why can’t he mind his own business?”

I jumped up and pummeled her, knocking us both against the back of the U-shaped booth.

“Calm down.” I grabbed her head and pushed it into my chest, and began petting her spiky black hair as if she was a damn cat. “Just calm down, he probably wanted to have a few words with him.”

Emma was pissed so I knew my usual tactic of showing my boobs to Jameson to calm him down, wouldn’t calm Emma down.

I tried a different approach, petting her.

“Get off me!” she snapped pushing me away. “He is not having a few words with him and you know it. Look what happened to Ryder?” Her eyes scanned the restaurant. “Since when has Jameson ever used his damn words? He only knows violence.” She sighed shaking her head dejectedly. “Poor Aiden, he doesn’t stand a chance against Jameson when he’s angry.”

She was right, poor lanky Aiden didn’t stand a chance.

We both looked up when we heard shuffling of feet to see Jameson sit down across from me and begin nonchalantly eating his pancakes again. He never said a word, just continued looking down at his plate and eating as though nothing had happened.

I’m inclined to think that later especially when Aiden returned.

With a bloody lip, bloody nose, and the beginning of a black eye, Aiden sat down just as calmly as Jameson had.

One look at him and Emma went into a fit of pure hysteria.

She was yelling at the top of her lungs at Jameson while Aiden remained silent beside her, looking down at his hands.

Just like any other situation I was faced with, I started laughing because Emma was acting like an UmpaLumpa on crack and Jameson... well, Jameson was being Jameson. Refusing to look up at any of us, his face set like stone in a grim expression eating his pancakes.

“I can’t believe you, Jameson!” Emma screamed and then burst into tears causing Jameson to finally look up.

I don’t think he ever intended to hurt Emma but it went that way.

“Just because you’re incapable of having a normal relationship with anyone, doesn’t mean I can’t.” Emma told him. “I love Aiden.”

Slowly, Jameson shook his head but didn’t say anything. His gaze dropped to his plate once again as he continued eating.

“You’re such a hypocrite, Jameson.” At this point, Emma was pissed that Jameson was not paying attention to what she had to say, so she added fuel to the fire. “You think I don’t know what you two are doing?”

I dropped my fork about the time Jameson’s jaw clenched.

He slowly looked up at Emma and I would not want to be on the receiving end of that glare he was now giving her.

“This has nothing to do with me or Sway,” his voice venomously warning.

Those who knew Jameson well knew that right now was the point that you quit while you’re ahead or you can officially say you’ve reached the point of no return.

Sitting there as quietly as I possibly could, I watched Jameson and Emma stare at each other.

Aiden’s eyes shifted toward me so I mouthed, “I’m sorry” to him.

He winked.

I think Aiden knew this was coming and knew damn well once Spencer found out, he’d probably have another black eye and possibly a broken nose.

With a dramatic sigh, Emma reached beside her purse and threw a box of posters into Jameson’s lap.

“Sign these.” She stood reaching for Aiden by the arm. “You’re an asshole Jameson and don’t ever involve yourself in my love life again.”

We officially reached that point of no return.

And this is when the temper of the two-year-old emerged.

Jameson slammed his fist against the table knocking glasses and plates around. “You don’t know anything about love, Emma.” He clipped. “You’re twenty-one years old.”

“And you do, Jameson? You’re exactly fourteen months older than me.” Emma placed her hand on her hip, tears still spilling down her reddened cheeks.

Jameson didn’t say anything just continued to stare at her. Even though I remained sitting across from him, I could distinctly see that warning look he was giving Emma to shut up.

But she didn’t and I couldn’t blame her. She was mad and she should be. Having two older brothers, Emma has always been on the receiving end of the brotherly witness protection program.

“Do you really think this is going to end well for either of you?” Emma gestured between us. “You’re incapable of loving anyone for the right reasons, Jameson. You’re going to break her heart.” She turned to me. “And you need to wake up and see that.”

Turning on her heel sharply, she stormed out of the restaurant with Aiden, leaving me with an absolutely livid Jameson.

He was quiet for a long moment with his eyes fixated on the place where Emma was once standing. I knew exactly what was coming.

My mind began counting down to the eruption as if it were a missile launch for detonation.

“Fucking bullshit,” he mumbled under his breath.

With that two-year-old temper, suddenly he grabbed the edge of the table flipping it over into the middle of the restaurant sending food, glass, silverware, and drinks everywhere across the floor.

Everyone starred at Jameson, including me.

And to think this was a family restaurant.

“C’mon.” He ordered sharply grasping my wrist as we made our way to the cashier, stepping over the mess.

I didn’t say a word and followed behind him, carefully avoiding the questioning glances surrounding us. I assumed they were all wondering if I was with a lunatic. I wanted to say, “Don’t mind him, he’s unstable.”

Jameson threw two hundred dollars at the timid cashier. “This should cover our meal and the mess.”

Shaken, she nodded slowly taking the money as Jameson stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

Once we were in the parking lot, he got in the car without saying anything.

And though it would have been completely inappropriate at that moment, I nearly giggled just to lighten the mood.

We sat there quietly, I holding in my laughter, and Jameson gazing out the windshield as though he was trying to burn a hole through it.

After a few moments, he started the car and drove silently toward the track at Long Pond.

I felt bad for Emma, seeing her so upset as, over the years, she had become like a sister to me. The last thing I wanted was to see her upset, but I was also irritated she brought me into the argument. She was right though.

I knew I was heading for heartbreak but I also knew that if I didn’t stay and see where this went between us, I would always regret it and if I thought I would regret not doing something, I did it. So a hint as to how I got into this particular situation with the raging bull next to me.

To understand me, you’d have to understand my childhood.

My mom died when I was very young and though I have vague memories of her, I will never forget what she said to me the last time I saw her alive. My mother kept her sickness from both Charlie and me. She didn’t tell Charlie until she only had a couple months to live. Rachel always lived her life to the fullest; each day doing exactly what she wanted to do and when she wanted to do it. She never let anyone else dictate when or how she did something. Looking back, she did this because she knew she was sick and had very little time left. She wanted to experience everything life had to offer her at twenty-five and she did.

The day she died, I was sitting in her room with her. I’d made her a Valentine’s Day card and was reading it to her. Once I finished, she smiled and gave me a hug. I curled up in the hospital bed that she had called home for the last two months.

And then she gave me her farewell speech.

 

“Sway, mommy needs to tell you a few things, okay?” I nodded with tears in my eyes. “Mommy is very sick, you know.” I nodded again.

Charlie had told me on numerous occasions that mommy was sick and wouldn’t be around much longer. I didn’t understand what that meant at the time, but being six, I went along with it. Thankfully, my child innocence provided me with not understanding the magnitude of this.

“Baby,” she began softly, “you know how much mommy loves you right?”

I nodded again and continued to listen to her low strained breathing with my head rested on her chest.

“I want you to remember that. I want you to live each day like it’s your last. If you have something to say to someone, say it to them, don’t wait. When you’re older and you find someone that you love, don’t waste time. Tell them you love them. If there is something you want in life, make it happen. Don’t settle for anything because you think you can’t have what you really want.”

I was crying because I knew this was her farewell speech to me. Even with the innocence I had in the situation, I knew enough that this was the end.

“I was very young when your father and I had you. I don’t regret having you at all. You’ve brought so much to my life and showed me love that I thought people only dreamed of having. When you were first placed in my arms, I was scared that I’d made a mistake. That I would mess you up somehow but in my moment of fear, you looked up at me. Right then, when I was met with the most beautiful emerald eyes I’ve ever seen. You gave me this look and in that instant I knew I could do it. I knew I could do it because you’d be there to show me how and you have. You showed me there’s so much more to life than personal possessions. There’s love and the love between a mother and her child is beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Just remember that sweetheart.”

 

I never completely understood what she intended by the speech, but as I got older, the speech began to make sense and I never forgot it. Rachel lived her life to the fullest and she wanted me to do the same.

From that point on, I did things because I wanted to, not because someone else wanted me to, except when that someone else was Jameson. I couldn’t explain why I held myself to different standards with Jameson, but I did. I loved him and nothing changed that for me.

My logic was off and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m completely insane but for now, for this time I was with him, I was going to have fun and live this life to the fullest. I spent entirely too long waiting to see what would happen. I was the doer now!

I told Charlie I’d be home in time for the Modified Nationals and then after that was the Big E Weekend where the Northern Sprint Tour and the Outlaws would be in town. That meant I would get to see Jameson that weekend as well. He had two cars racing in The World of Outlaws so naturally Jameson said he’d make an appearance for it.

After that, his schedule would be hectic until the end of the season.

We could make this work, even if I were only a friend with benefits, at least I’d be seeing a lot of benefits.

That was my logic.

Completely irrational, foolish break your heart logic, but it was mine. So for now, I was going to enjoy my three weeks of friends with benefits and put my emotions aside.

That was my plan. Not that it would turn out well but it was my plan.

Once we pulled into the pit-entrance, the race weekend was in full swing and Jameson was now in race mode.

It might not have been the best timing, but I decided to try to make him see Emma’s side. I didn’t want him going into practice upset, as he tends to get a little hasty out there if his mood is off.

“Jameson, you should apologize to Emma and Aiden,” I suggested, looking at the ten text messages I had from Emma apologizing for bringing me into the argument.

“I will not apologize to Aiden. I will apologize to Emma, when she calms down, but Aiden...” He shook his head. “He had it coming. I asked him repeatedly if anything was going on and he said no.” He turned his head to look at me. “That’s what he gets for not being honest with me in the beginning.”

“Have you ever thought that maybe he was afraid to tell you?” I pointed out in the form of a question.

“Oh, please, spare me the bullshit. He’s an adult not a five-year-old! If he has something to say, he should say it.”

“You can be scary when you want to be and Spencer... well, there are no words for Spencer. I don’t blame them for not wanting to tell you guys.”

He looked at me with a shocked expression, his brow raised. “You’re taking their side in this?”

“I’m just saying you should be nicer to them about this.”

“I will not. If Aiden has a problem with me then fine, he can come and talk to me about it.” Jameson showed his credentials to the NASCAR officials and then pulled through the gate when she waved him by. “I’m not apologizing.”

Pulling up to the motor coach in the driver’s compound, sure enough poor Aiden was sporting another new black eye, but he looked relieved to have everything out in the open. At least they wouldn’t have to sneak around. Jameson and I, however, still had to sneak around.

Last night, after the race car incident, I told Jameson my crankcase needed a day’s break. It was not only sore, but I had a serious case of sticker burn that was making it a little difficult to sit today or walk for that matter. If you’ve ever had rug burn before, the result is similar.

I had a feeling this “day break” was also part of Jameson’s anger issues today, especially when his hand was sliding up the back of my shirt once we are in the motor coach, alone, in the bedroom.

He was supposed to be getting his race suit on for practice, but he seemed to have other ideas about that.

I slapped his hand away. “Jameson... no.”

He sighed bringing his lips to my collarbone, kissing along it. “Please, honey... I need you.” His voice was low and strained and was not helping my resolve one tiny bit.

“I’m sore,” I whined with a pouty lip.

“Too much align boring?” He raised an eyebrow while backing me up toward the queen-sized bed.

In case you’re wondering what the fuck align boring was—it’s a process that some do to an engine that involved taking a metal rod and pushing it through the crankcase repeatedly to make sure everything inside the crankcase was properly aligned.

“Yeah!”

“You know, align boring assures proper bearing alignment as well. With all that misalignment we took care of last night, maintenance is just as important. I’m only looking out for you.”

“I know, but you’re camshaft has too much lift.” This was my next attempt.

“Are you suffering from valve binding?”

“What in the hell is valve binding?”

“That’s when a camshaft has too much lift...” His hips pushed forward showing me just how much lift he had. “It opens the valve spring too far creating valve binding.”

I pushed against him trying to get away. “There’s something wrong with you.” I laughed once, but then gained control over my expression and crankcase, which was back to making justifications the rest of me couldn’t play along with today.

“I just need a day. My ass hurts and my crankcase feels like I let the entire goddamn state of North Carolina align bore me.”

Jameson growled pushing me down on the bed, my legs automatically spread.

“I will be the only one doing any align boring when it comes to your crankcase ... only me.” His arms wrapped under and over my shoulders, pulling me snug against his hips.

Of course, he was ready, and my willpower was crumbling for his lift and those damn justifications.

“Hello, Mr. Possessive.” I chuckled trying to squirm away.

“I’m not apologizing for that either.” His grip tightened. “You will only be my friend with benefits, no one else’s.”

“Does that rule apply to you, too?”

Oh God, shut up!

Despite this, he laughed against my neck. “Of course it does.” Jameson pushed his hips against mine revealing his excitement. “Now let’s see about this valve binding problem you have.”

“Jameson.” I tried again to push against his chest. “I’m serious I need a break.”

Pressing his hips against mine one last time, he let out a deep sigh before rolling away. “Damn it!”

Once he was dressed, we made our way to the garage where Jameson forgot about me turning him down. Instead, he was focused on the race car now and the job he had to do.

Well, until Nancy approached us. Chipper as always, she bounced into the garage area, her rusty hair pulled back under her Simplex hat.

“Oh Sway,” she breathed reaching for me. “You’re here again?”

“Yeah, I’m going home after Sonoma.” I pulled away and handed her the posters Jameson signed earlier this morning.  “Just taking a summer break after college.”

Jameson walked over to sign a few die-cast cars for the Children’s Hospital that Nancy brought with her.

“Jameson,” Nancy said sternly, her green eyes glaring. “Now, I don’t ask a lot from you at home because you’re rarely there, but I expect you to respect our home while you’re living in it.” She poked his chest with a black sharpie. “I expect you to clean up your bedroom and fix the closet. What the hell happened in there? It looks like a gang bang took place.” Nancy stood there waiting for an answer.

Rubbing the spot his mother poked, Jameson let out a loud laugh as my cheeks began to heat rapidly. “Well a ‘gang bang’ implies a group of people. There were only two,” he replied still signing the various items Nancy was handing him.

I giggled when he said “gang bang” because he resorted to air quotes to get his point across.

“Well,” Nancy actually looked somewhat relieved that her son didn’t have a gang bang in her house, “just clean it up.”

Once she walked away, Jameson started laughing walking back over to his car to get ready for his first practice session.

This weekend they were racing at Pocono Raceway in Long Pond, Pennsylvania. It was a two-and-a-half favorite. He preferred the mile-and-a-half and the short tracks—said it reminded him of his dirt track days growing up.

I sat on the pit box with Kyle—listening to the in-car audio—when Jameson went out for practice.

“You copy, bud?” Kyle asked when Jameson made it onto the track.

“Yep,” Jameson confirmed while the radio crackled.

“All right Aiden, he’s all yours,” Kyle said. “Let me know how the car feels bud.”

The first few laps were quiet while Aiden and Jameson talked back and forth guiding him through any traffic that was out there. They seemed better.

Jameson and Aiden had been friends for the past few years now. I’d hoped that something like this didn’t get in the way of their friendship and so far, it didn’t seem like it was going to. That was the cool thing about men, other than the fact they get to stand to pee, which I envied. Once they express their anger for someone and get what they needed to off their chests, they seem to forget all about what went down. Women should take some pointers from them.

I watched as Jameson got loose in turn three, the car jerked sideways and brushed the wall, Kyle cringed beside me. “Damn it.”

“Brushed the wall, turn three,” Aiden announced. “No damage.”

“Looks like you got your hands full there.” Kyle looked over the lap times on the computer. “What’s the car doing?”

Jameson was quiet for a moment and then came on. “I’m all over the fucking place. I can’t keep the damn thing straight. I can’t drive in as hard in three, but I can go anywhere I want in the other turns.”

“Bring it in,” Kyle told him. “We’re gonna put it on the scales and change the springs.”

After another two laps, Jameson brought the car in the garage and the crew went to work on the adjustments.

Lounging around in the garage area, he talked with Tony, the tire specialist, for a few moments. He thought something felt off about the tires they were using, but Tony assured him they were the same.

Jameson was involved in all aspects of the car. That stemmed from Jimi. Growing up, Jimi had made it clear to Jameson that he couldn’t just drive the car. He had to understand the cars, be able to build them and fix them when needed. In a way, that was what made Jameson the type of driver he was today.

Most drivers drove these days, but Jameson could do about anything to a race car and there wasn’t anything he couldn’t drive the wheels off. His understanding of how everything worked together along with his driving ability made for a lethal combination on the track.

While I waited for him to finish explaining the handling of the car to Kyle and Mason, Alley walked into the garage, her heels clicking against the concrete.

“Is he done yet?” she asked annoyed. She looked pissed.

“I think he will be in a minute, why?” I leaned back against the wall trying to appear calm.

She glared toward Jameson. “I just have a bone to pick with that asshole.” She turned to me. “When did you get here?”

Shit, don’t panic and be sneaky.

“Oh... I never left.” I tried to act all nonchalant about it so she wouldn’t catch on, but I still hadn’t improved on being sneaky. “I traveled with Jameson from Charlotte.”

By the grace of God, Jameson walked over right about the time she was starting to figure it out.

“You’re an asshole!” Alley yelled pushing him into the wall beside me.

Jameson smirked steadying himself by reaching for me. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He put his arms around my shoulders wrapping around my chest and then used me as some sort of defense shield against the “Alley wrath” as he frequently called it.

“Oh, I think you do, Jameson.” Alley got right in his face. “My son called a one year old little girl a ruthless bitch because of you.”

Both Jameson and I started laughing.

I know it shouldn’t be funny that Lane called a little girl this but it was funny. I only wish I could have seen it. Lane had the cutest little chipmunk voice. It was probably adorable like those Subway commercials with the kids talking.

“Stop laughing, both of you,” she snapped changing her focus into work mode. “Jameson, you have an autograph session in an hour. I suggest you get to it. After that, you have a meeting with Simplex and an interview with Track Pass at six.”

Jameson nodded to everything she told him pulling his racing suit down around his waist.

Alley started to walk away but turned when she reached the bay doors at the edge of his car. “Oh, and Jameson,” she glared directly at him when he glanced up at her, “paybacks are a ruthless bitch.”

Jameson rolled his eyes imperviously sitting on some tires before pulling me onto his lap.

“Uh... should I be sitting on your lap here in public?” I asked glancing around the garage. The crews were all distracted by their duties; I still thought this was rather public of him.

“Fuck what they think.”

“Hmmm.” Part of me wished Chelsea would walk by right about now. Punching her didn’t seem like enough. I wanted her to see this, Jameson and me together, in public.

Now you really do sound like you’re in high school.

“Have dinner with me tonight,” Jameson whispered pushing my hair off my shoulder to reveal my bare skin that wasn’t covered by my tank top.

“Friends with benefits go to dinner together?” I raised an eyebrow.

He nodded his head once. “Well,” he leaned forward and put his lips at my ear. “We are exclusive friends with benefits. And I say we make our own rules to this.” He kissed my neck softly before pulling away. “So if I want to take you to dinner, I think I have every right to, as your exclusive friend with his determined benefits.”

“His determined benefits,” I repeated.

“Yep,” he said popping the “p” at the end.

“So what are his determined benefits anyway?”

“I can’t give my secrets away just yet.” His eyes sparkled. “What would be the fun in that?”

“Does it involve more race cars?” He piqued my curiosity when he said his determined benefits.

Jameson winked. “I would say race cars could be arranged.” He smiled wickedly leaning into me again. “Do you wanna go for a ride in my race car?”

“Actually, I’m dying to go for a ride. I’m being serious. I really want to take a ride in your race car.”

“Really, you want like a real ride in my car, as in that race car?” He gestured toward his car parked beside us.

I nodded my head like a five-year-old wanting candy or a pit lizard in heaven—either way, I was ecstatic at the possibility.

“Let me talk to the officials and see what they say.”

He acted as if this wouldn’t be a problem, but I wasn’t getting my hopes up. I knew the NASCAR track officials had rules against this kind of thing. It could potentially be a huge liability if something were to happen on the track.

Jameson went out for another practice session after the crew finished the changes, so I went with Emma and Nancy to set up his autograph session.

Emma and I talked and, of course, I forgave her.

How could I not? She was the closest thing I had to a sister.

“I want you to be careful with him.” Emma looked close to tears again. “I know that he cares for you, that’s evident, I just... he’s focused on his career right now, and Jameson doesn’t know how to do both. He doesn’t want to get hurt either.”

I nodded because I knew.

I knew he was incapable of offering me anymore than his exclusive friend with his determined benefits, but I didn’t care.

My logic was so messed up it was becoming hard for me to even realize how far we were really getting into this. It had only been going for a few days now but with every touch, every kiss, every tender word spoken between us, my heart was falling deeper and deeper in love with him. Before long, there’d be no going back. Therapy would be my only answer, and lots of ice cream.

“I can handle it, Emma.”

Walking toward a box of t-shirts, I began taking them out of the box, one-by-one, to avoid anything more detailed into my stupid logic.

I was screwed.

Once I had all the shirts lined up, I stepped back to examine the way they looked. Again, it was entertaining to me to see a boy I grew up with plastered all over the place, as though he was a huge star. The difference, he was a huge star now.

“So you must be Sway Reins?” a man asked from behind as I daydreamed.

I turned to see Darrin Torres standing there with a grin.

“I... uh... yeah, I’m Sway.”

He reached for my hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Sway. I’m Darrin Torres.”

“I know who you are.”

“So I see you’re with Jameson’s team?” he hinted, looking at the t-shirts I had arranged.

“Well, no. I’m helping out. I’m...” my voice trailed off because I couldn’t really say “fuck buddy” in public, or could I?

“His girlfriend?” Darrin finished.

“No... We’re... I’m not his girlfriend, just friends.”

“Oh.” Darrin smiled, his eyes dropped from mine to my lips and then back. “Does that mean I can take you to dinner tonight?”

Christ he’s bold.

“No, it doesn’t mean you can take her to dinner tonight,” I heard Jameson’s furious voice from behind.

Darrin laughed darkly, his eyes focused on Jameson standing behind me. “I wouldn’t advise starting anything here with all your fans around, Jameson,” Darrin suggested motioning toward the crowds gathering around, all waiting to catch a glimpse of Jameson. “I wanted Sway to know there are... other options for her beside friends.”

You couldn’t miss the way he articulated the word friends, implying he knew exactly what we were doing.

Turning around, I focused on Jameson instead, pushing his chest. “Jameson, he’s right. Don’t do anything stupid,” I warned attempting to catch his gaze.

Jameson bypassed me and stood face-to-face with Darrin. “Stay away from Sway,” he snarled, his body instinctively preparing for a fight.

His voice lowered, and they exchanged a few words we couldn’t hear until Darrin shook his head slowly and started to walk away. “Good luck with the friend’s thing.”

I turned back to a fuming Jameson and hit him in the shoulder. “Stop it. You have an autograph session.”

With the help of Emma, we finally got Jameson calmed down enough to have a seat and show his fans a normal human side and not the crazed lunatic he could be.

Once around his fans, he began to enjoy himself and gave them the attention they deserved after waiting in line all morning just to see him.

As with any scheduled autograph session, he was attentive to each fan. He smiled, posed for pictures with them if they asked, and actually stopped to have conversations with them. Still, a piece was missing. I knew him well enough to know this wasn’t him; this was the guarded version he had around his fans.

The garage groupies annoyed me and disturbed my daydreams.

They were clingy, way too chipper, and downright slutty for being underage. I didn’t think a twelve-year-old could be slutty, but today, one who was wearing a mini skirt shorter than mine and a bikini top revealing her non-existent chest to Jameson proved me wrong.

He looked up and took a double take when she leaned forward but what I thought was a double take of “Hey, look at her” was quickly squashed when Jameson shook his head, signed her poster and then threw a shirt at her and told her to put it on.

Emma and I laughed for a good ten minutes when she stomped away over to Paul’s hauler to get his autograph.

Paul Leighty was another rookie in the cup series this year and yes, I will admit, Paul was attractive with his dark skin, brown eyes and one hell of a body, but I was a sucker for my tall beautiful rusty-haired hot head.

 Finally, the autograph session was over, practices were finished up, Jameson finished his interview with Track Pass and we were now on our way to dinner at the Tokyo Tea House in Pocono Summit.

It was strange going out to dinner with him now. Over the years, we’d gone out on many occasions, but it was different now. Crazy enough, I wasn’t sure how to act around him so I stayed quiet in fear I would say something incredibly asinine because of the lack of oxygen to my brain.

It was all going to my lungs trying not to hyperventilate.

Jameson noticed my lack of conversation and heavy breathing during dinner and threw an arm around my chair as we were sitting at the sushi bar.

“Why are you so quiet?” he asked leaning into my shoulder.

I shrugged and gave him a small tentative smile. “No reason,” I lied.

My heart was pounding in my chest trying to pump more blood to my brain.

“Is it because you’re horny?” Holding my gaze, he seductively licked sauce from his thumb.

“You’re such a pervert.” I took another bite of my spicy tuna roll keeping my stare ahead of me. “Is that all you think about?”

He wrinkled his nose but nodded. “Sadly, yes.”

“You never used to be this perverted, what happened?”

“Mmm... My friend with benefits.” He leaned closer, his lips at my ear when he started with the whispering. “She seems to have brought out some hormone enraged fifteen-year-old boy in me that can only think about sex...” his voice lowered with a husky edge. The hand that wasn’t wrapped around my chair started at my knee and began to trace lightly up my thigh.

His feather light touch alone was enough to make me want to rip his clothes off right there in that damn restaurant and make him scream my name in front of this poor man serving our sushi rolls.

Jameson continued with that damn whispering, and I soon realized this was part of his plan that he wouldn’t reveal earlier, his determined benefits.

“All I think about now is her amazing body wrapped around mine and broken furniture.” His hand traveled closer to the Promised Land, inching along with both determination, but also enough hesitation; it was enough to drive me mad. “And race car hoods ...” he breathed heavily, his hand reaching my crankcase and then dancing circles around my ignition switch, “and bearing alignment.” His lips pressed to my neck once and his tongue darted out, licking me. “Assembly lubes and align boring. God, honey, the affect you have on me is... unbelievable.”

Hot damn!

My hand flew up in the air as though I had the golden ticket.

“Check, please!” I suddenly yelled.

In actuality, I did have the golden ticket; only it was a little more in the shape of a camshaft and calling my name.

Jameson chuckled against my neck and leaned forward to pull out his wallet.

“Someone’s eager.”

On the way back to the track, his hand never left my leg and neither did the feather light touching or the dirty car talk whispering he did so goddamn well.

“I don’t get it,” I said reaching for my bag on the floorboard. “How did you go a year with that sex drive?”

Jameson shifted in his seat. “Is that really a question you want an answer to?” He looked at me with a strange expression.

“Well yeah, I asked, didn’t I?”

He let out a nervous chuckle. Jameson was a lot of things but nervous or shy was never one of them.

“Were you lying when you said it’d been a year?”

“No, I wasn’t lying,” he assured me. “It’s actually been longer than a year. The last time was in Vegas last March, well over a year ago.”

“So you...”

“You’re not actually going to make me say it, are you?”

I looked at him confused, completely lost as to what he was referring to. I don’t think I’d been this confused since I saw my first penis. Imagine my surprise when I found out it had balls attached to it and was covered in hair.

Jameson sighed loudly rolling his eyes dramatically, annoyed by my confusion. He glanced over at my puzzled expression closing his eyes as though he didn’t want to say it.

“Jesus Christ, there’s uh... other... you know... ways to satisfy the urge,” he hinted, and I finally understood what he was insinuating.

Self-lovin’.

Not only because it was funny to me that Jameson Riley would have to resort to “self-lovin’,” but also because I found the idea of Jameson and his “self-lovin’” incredibly hot and all I could do was giggle.

“You’re such a shithead!” Jameson barked pushing against my shaking shoulders.

“Do you remember,” I paused drawing a much-needed breath, “when Jimi used to refer to it as bleeding your pressure valve?” More giggling escaped me.

“I’m not really amused by this,” he shot back, watching my breakdown in disbelief.

Once I stopped laughing, the car hummed in silence for a few moments before I broke it. “Why do you... I mean, you... uh... have women all over you.”

Surely, he’s had opportunities. Look at him, who wouldn’t want him?

“I...don’t know.” He shifted in his seat again. His shoulders seemed tense, that vulnerability rolling from him in waves. “I guess I got to a point where I got tired of it. They only wanted one thing from me or they were in it for the pit lizard fame. They didn’t want me; they wanted the lifestyle. And anyone who did want something more than a one-time thing, I couldn’t offer it to them.” His eyes shifted from the road toward me briefly. “This isn’t the ideal lifestyle for a relationship, Sway. I’m on the road at least forty weeks out of the year, sometimes longer. How can I ask someone to make that type of commitment?”

I got the feeling he was implying a lot more in this conversation than he was letting on. Like the fact that he couldn’t offer me what I want. He was telling me he couldn’t offer me more than what was going on right now.

“Did you apologize to Emma?” I asked wanting to change the subject away from this. I reached for my gum in the bottom of my bag.

“Yeah, we talked.”

“Do you understand why she didn’t want to tell you?”

Jameson sighed. “I get it. Spencer and I can be scary.”

“Spencer can be scary,” I clarified shoving the stick of gum in my mouth and then offering him a piece. “You on the other hand, you’re like... the Incredible Hulk.”

“Am not,” he replied defensively taking the gum.

I gave him an unconvincing look. “Really, what did you do to her first boyfriend when you caught them making out?”

“Pfft,” he snorted. “That fucking brat deserved it.”

“Or what about the time you found out she lost her virginity to Ryder?”

“Hey,” he barked back at me. “I’m still friends with Ryder.”

“Probably because he’s afraid you’ll kill him. He’s keeping his enemies close.”

Jameson was in complete denial of his anger problem. The boy could snap in a matter of seconds and be a completely different person. He had multiple personalities as I called them and they didn’t always get along.

“So what’s the deal with you and Darrin?” I handed him his water bottle.

Just by the constant media attention surrounding them, I knew the gist of the rivalry but still, there seemed to be more to it than the standard “rubbing is racing” term.

“He’s had it out for me since Daytona,” Jameson answered. “Before the race, his girlfriend, Mariah... well, let’s just say she made it known she was interested. I didn’t respond to her advances or anything, but she told Darrin that I hit on her.”

I’d never seen Mariah before, but now, I wanted to know what this woman looked like. She was probably beautiful like all the other pit lizards wandering around the track on race weekends.

“Seriously, she did that?” I asked incredulously, my eyes wandered to the passing cars headlights. Briefly, I was reminded of our time spent traveling together that summer, how different it seemed now.

“Yep.” Jameson shifted in his seat again and switched hands on the steering wheel, turning at me with his shoulders. “She’s a bitch, and he’s a real fucker on and off the track, well, you saw.” He threw his right hand up in the air before letting it dangle loosely over the wheel. “Not only did he wreck me back in USAC, but once I got to cup he spun me around on pit road in Phoenix and then ran into me after the fucking race in Dover. Each week it’s something else. You saw the Winston...” he sighed in frustration. “It’s hard to believe in a sport with guys who are supposed to be professionals—he can’t get away with the things that he’s pulled. I still think he was behind the fuel additive in Charlotte.”

“Has Mariah talked to you since then?”

“No.”

I knew Jameson well enough to know he hated the drama of all this. He only wanted to race—not to be embroiled in the trivial high school bullshit that came along with some of the other drivers in the series.

Our conversation continued like this for a while until we arrived back at the track and I was surprised to see that we didn’t pull in toward the paddock. Instead, he turned and drove to the garages.

“Where are we going?”

“You said you wanted a ride.” He waggled his eyebrows.

“Did you clear it with NASCAR?” You couldn’t miss the excitement in my voice.

“Yeah,” he chuckled at my enthusiasm. “Gordon said it would be fine.”

I’d always wanted to ride in a cup car and could hardly mask my excitement.

I was giddy as hell when he strapped the helmet on me and nervous as hell when he pulled on the track. He stopped the car on pit lane and shut the engine off to explain some rules he apparently had.

I was scrunched on the passenger side, which if you’ve ever seen the passenger side of a cup car, there was not one.

Crammed in between roll bars, the discharge nozzle for the fire extinguisher and me were getting real acquainted.

Jameson pulled his helmet off so he could talk to me, running his fingers through his distraught mess of hair.

“Now, this isn’t safe at all, so I won’t be going full speed.”

“No, no, no... I want the full experience.” I shifted my ass slightly to get the nozzle out. “Fuck safety.”

He chuckled giving me a lopsided grin. “We’ll see about that... now, if for some reason we ... uh... crash...” He shook his head at the thought. “Just... hold on to anything you can.” He gave me a tortured expression. “This is a bad idea, Sway, maybe we shouldn’t do this.”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, Jameson. When have we ever done anything that was a good idea?” I was trying to emphasize our situation.

“Good point.” He loosened his belts. “I’m not wearing these if you don’t have any. So, let’s see ...” He gave me a wicked smile and stared at me for a moment. “Just hold on tight, honey.” He leaned over and placed a kiss on my helmet, flipped my visor down, and put his back on.

Taking note of his every move, I watched as he flipped switches and then shifted the car into low gear keeping his foot on the clutch revving the engine a couple of times.

Craning his neck to look over at me, he winked once.

I couldn’t focus on anything with the revving, the roar alone vibrating my girly bits in a very nice way.

It wasn’t lost on me, though, that we were doing something incredibly stupid. Here Jameson was paid millions each year to race, and he’s taking his car out for a joy ride with no belts. It wasn’t exactly the smartest decision either of us had ever made.

All thoughts were lost when he revved the engine once more.

There was something to be said about the sound of a stock car revving to life that I couldn’t explain. It was just a sound... but it was the sound, if that made any sense at all.

I bit down on my lower lip when the car began to move at a slow speed down pit lane, then on the apron of the track.

Jameson took his hand off the gearshift and gave me thumbs up. I gripped the roll bars tightly and gave him thumbs up as well, letting him know I was ready for my ride.

Even over the engine and the wind, there was no doubt he could hear my screams when he slammed the car into high gear as we hit the straightaway.

I had no idea how fast we were going, but I could have sworn on a stack of bibles, I saw Jesus when my face was inches from the wall on the third straightaway. It was exhilarating, terrifying, and hot as hell all at the same time as I watched him push this 800 horsepower race car around the track. The adrenaline coursed through my veins, pumping throughout, shaking my very core with excitement.

Never in my life had I ever been so scared of dying, in awe of how addictive this could be, and pushing yourself to the limits. After all these years, I finally understood the rush he got out there.

Jameson remained focused, occasionally glancing in my direction. I could tell he was nervous, having me in here with no seat belts on, wrapped around roll bars with a discharge nozzle in places he only wished to be right now.

Watching him was probably the best assembly prep I’d ever had and the boy wasn’t even touching me. Dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, I could see his forearms contracting with each shift and the way his long fingers gripped the black wheel, the quick movements his feet made while working the clutch, brake, and gas simultaneously—it was addicting to watch.

Suddenly he shifted down to the low gear, pulled down on the apron in turn two, and jerked the wheel left. The car whipped around throwing us into a burn out. And if the driving didn’t turn me on, the revving of the engine and the smell of the burnt rubber pouring into the cockpit of the car sealed the deal.

After a few more laps, Jameson slowed the car down, pulled onto pit lane again and then drove into the garage. The tires still smoking—the thick burning smell swirled through the bays, hovering in the air like fog.

Jameson was breathing heavy when he reached over, killed the engine and pulled off his helmet. I pulled mine off as well and tried to fix my helmet hair, completely useless.

“That was amazing,” I said breathlessly shaking from the adrenaline.

Jameson nodded and then grinned but said nothing.

“So what are all these switches?” I knew most of them, but I wanted some dirty car talk, and I knew damn well he could provide it.

He chuckled, giving me the smirk again. “Well, let’s start on your side.” He raised an eyebrow. “I know you know what all this is, so I’m just humoring you with this shit.”

I let out a little giggle knowing he saw right through me.

“All right, so what is....” He looked at the way I was sitting. “Up your ass right now is the discharge nozzle for the fire extinguisher. And this,” he pointed to the switch to the left of it, “is the fire extinguisher switch for suppressing the chemicals?”

I nodded as he pointed behind the seat. “And that’s the fire extinguisher.” He then pointed toward the dash in front of me explaining the switches from right to left. “This one here is the master switch. It shuts down the electrical system in an emergency. These,” as he pointed to a cluster of switches, “are the auxiliary switches. They turn on the back up ignition system, ventilation fans, and my helmet cooling system.” He paused placing his hand over the gearshift. “And this... is the...” Jameson licked his lip slowly and winked once. “Gearshift.”

Holy. Shit. Now it was my turn to shift uncomfortably.

He then pointed to the dash in front of him. “This is the starter, ignition and cooling fans. This one is the engine gauge cluster that tells me the oil pressure, voltage, and fuel pressure.” He moved on to the tachometer. “This one monitors my RPM, and then this switch shuts off the engine in an emergency situation.”

I swallowed. This was almost too much to handle.

“And here, on the wheel, we have my radio button.” His eyes scanned the cockpit for anything he hadn’t explained yet, “Any questions?”

By now, I was panting and so was Jameson. I didn’t realize anything besides my own excitement during his allocution, but this was turning him on just as much.

His head tipped back against the seat. “Come over here, honey,” he rasped in a thick gravelly voice.

Eagerly, I tried to shimmy my way over there all sexy-like, but it didn’t go down that way; in fact, it looked rather ridiculous from the outside.

There were switches, roll bars, a gearshift, a fire extinguisher, and random shit everywhere.

Eventually, I was able to get close to him after he removed the steering wheel and tossed it on the dash.

Just as hot and bothered as me, he was grabbing me in any way he could. And though it was also frustrating that we couldn’t really maneuver very well, it was incredibly erotic, providing an alluring temptation that was within reach but couldn’t be achieved.

“Goddamn it,” Jameson grumbled against my lips when he couldn’t get me close enough. The poor boy was grunting, pushing, pulling, tugging, anything he could do to get me closer.

My fingers inched to him following a path along his leg. I had other plans when I slowly unzipped his jeans. “I have something in mind.”

His eyes shot up to mine. “What are you...?” his voice trailed off as his eyes widened in surprise. “Oh....”

“This is going to be difficult, but I need this…” I gestured south with a nod. “In my mouth... right now.”

“Fuck...” Jameson cried out slowly pulling his jeans and boxers down, revealing himself to me.

I’ve only handed out a few camshaft micro polishing’s in my time (which is a thorough cleaning of the camshaft to keep from thrust failure—which would be horrible by the way), and I’d never finished one or given one to such a monstrous shaft before. Though I was terrified, I decided to go with it and try.

After sneaking a quick glance at Jameson’s lust stricken eyes, I lowered my head in his lap and darted my tongue out to taste him. Jameson took a sharp intake of breath, arching his back slightly and raising his hips when I did that.

Just do it, Sway, don’t be scared of the colossal shaft staring at you. Just do it.

After my Nike pep talk with the perverse pit lizard within me, I lowered my mouth, slowly wrapping my lips around him. There was no way I’d be able to get all of him in my mouth, so my hand had to assist.

His camshaft was perfect.

Seriously, though, if he weren’t so good at racing, I’d think he could have a job modeling this flawless member. Drunk on his scent alone, the taste and the feel of him inside me, it was nearly overwhelming for me.

“Jesus Christ, honey, you’re amazing... God... don’t stop,” he groaned. His eyes focused on my ministrations as he moved my hair aside for a better look—the other hand was on a roll bar gripping it tightly.

I don’t think he would have let me stop at that point. And I didn’t as I drew him back in, grazing my teeth gently along his sensitive skin. I bobbed, I swirled, I stroked, and I licked.

I could tell by the way he was moaning my name over and over again, that he was close. There was no more dirty heathen talking, there was no more teasing. It was breathless moans of pleasure, pleasure I was causing.

Hot damn!

I was on a mission, and I’d finally found something that made Jameson Riley speechless. Well, aside from him moaning my name, but that seemed to be the only word he could form, so he threw his head back and held on, his hips squirming and lifting to meet my stroking and sucking.

I don’t know what our newfound fascination with race cars was, but I wasn’t about to complain. I will say that trying to give someone a good micro polishing in a race car that only had one seat and a shitload of obstacles in the way was extremely difficult; in fact damn near impossible.

What was even more impossible... getting some alone time on a race weekend.

“Jameson, are you in here?” Alley called into the garage when she opened the door that was not more than ten feet from the car we were currently in.

During the race weekend, the cars were held inside the garage area under lock down. Being in here wasn’t even legal and neither was the public display we were putting on.

Just another embarrassing situation to add to my dossier.

It wasn’t lost on me that it was damn near three in the morning so why she was looking for him wasn’t really a concern, but it did cross my mind. I stopped my bobbing but, of course, kept him in my mouth. What kind of pit lizard would I be if I let go?

“What are you ...?” Alley looked closer I’m sure.

Naturally, I couldn’t tell, because once again, my head was buried. Only this time, I was in Jameson’s lap, and my mouth was still wrapped around his camshaft assuring his thrust bearing wouldn’t fail.

“Jesus, Jameson,” Alley balked. “You’re such a whore.”

He laughed. “Let’s face it, Alley, you’ve caught me in worse positions.”

I was half-tempted to bite him because now I wanted to know what’s worse than getting caught micro polishing in a race car.

Instead of biting, I decided to make this more awkward for him by continuing my efforts.

His hand flew back to my hair, trying to stop me, but I was determined you see.

“Whore!” Alley yelled and I assumed began to walk away by the shuffling. “Gordon wants to see you in the morning. Something about doing a burnout on the track ...” she sighed loudly about the time Jameson threw his head back against the seat. “I don’t even want to know how much you’re going to get fined for that little stunt out there.”

I don’t think Alley was looking at him because when I snuck a peek at him, his head was leaned back and his eyes were closed.

“Are you even ... Jameson ... oh, how disgusting!” she wailed and stomped toward the door leaving both of us laughing, but the laughing didn’t last long, especially with the vibration it created around him.

“My God,” His hands flew to my face trying to pull me up. “Honey ... you ... I’m ... you ...” he moaned trying to pull me up again.

Shaking his hands away, I doubled my efforts causing him to give up and finally let go. His hips moved once, then again with a shudder and a scrumptious groan as Jameson let go completely. He tightened his grip on the roll bar and his hips jerked as I once again showed him just how skillful I was in the art of engine maintenance. All this, him, the noises he made, the feelings I was having were a pit lizard’s dream come true—my dream come true.

Moments later, he pulled me up and I returned to getting to know the discharge nozzle.

Jameson sighed with a whoosh of breath shaking his head. “Good Lord, that was amazing.”

I giggled at the admission and kissed his hand that was now on my cheek. “I couldn’t help myself after that ride.”

“I’ll say.”

“Do you think we will ever be able to have sex without being caught?”

Jameson gave me a lopsided grin, his cheeks flushed from the micro polishing.

“Where’s the fun in that? Besides, now I have to get Alley back again.” He waggled his eyebrows.

“So, are you in trouble with NASCAR now?”

“Uh, well not really, but the burn out ... that wasn’t part of the deal I made with Gordon.” He lifted his hips pulling his jeans up. “I probably shouldn’t have done that,” he said shrugging his shoulders once and then lifted himself up on the window to step out.

After he was out, I succeeded in getting untangled from the roll bars. I gave the discharge nozzle a little pat after our time spent together and hopped out of the car to lean against it as Jameson buttoned his jeans and fixed his t-shirt.

Once he was finished, he leaned into me, effectively trapping me against the side of the car once again. “So ... let’s head back to my motor coach. I need to repay you,” he whispered softly and then leaned in for a kiss.

“That’s ... okay, you don’t need to. Like I said, I’m sore.”

“Silly Sway, no align boring needs to take place for me to repay the favor.” He dropped to his knees in front of me, his eyes rose to meet mine through his long thick lashes. “I’m fairly certain this crankcase needs some proper deburring.”

Good Lord, that has to be the sexiest thing he does.

Lifting my shirt, he kissed along the band of my jeans, his fingertips dipping inside.

Now as nice as the hood of the race car was the other night, I still remember the sticker burn my ass currently had and if we dented that hood again, Kyle would kill us.

As it was, they already had to steal the hood from the back-up and put it on the primary car. And let’s not forget the incredibly awkward conversation with Jimi about how the hood was dented in the first place or the questioning glances from the rest of his team.

“Jameson,” I moaned when he unbuttoned my jeans and swept his tongue along my hipbone. “Not here. Let’s go back to your motor coach.” I managed to get him back on his feet. “Wait, where are Alley and Spencer staying?”

I didn’t want to get caught again, or for Alley to figure out I was who Jameson was being a whore with.

He laughed a loud, adorable laugh against my neck he was currently kissing, oh the kissing, he never stopped. When we were alone, his lips were never far from my skin.

“They’re staying in Pocono. Alley probably just came back because I’m sure Lisa called. Gordon probably didn’t tell her he told me I could take you for a ride,” he assured me.

His hand reached out to tap my ass leading me outside.

Hopping on his back, we made our way back to his private motor coach in the drivers’ compound.

Leaning my head down to kiss his neck, I whispered against his cool skin, “Since we’ll be alone ... you might want to prepare yourself for a long night.”

Jameson nodded his head in approval, his eyes dancing with excitement. “Sleep’s overrated,” and without missing a beat he spun me around so I was in front of him, legs still wrapped securely around his waist, “And honey,” he leaned in to give me an ardent kiss, “You should prepare yourself.”