A Tempting Sleepover

(Mason)

I ordered pizza and was thankful the fridge had plenty of beer. The last thing on my mind had been the idea of a sleepover, let alone something so tempting as being in the same apartment as Violet. She looked too fucking good in my long t-shirt and wet hair. She had a bra on, which meant she probably had panties, too. Still, seeing her in my shirt that went down to her knees was enough to keep my dick swollen and uncomfortable, no matter what I did.

“Thanks for the shirt,” she said. “I didn’t plan…”

“It’s fine,” I said. “Come with me.”

I took Violet to the bedroom, but not for the reason I fucking want to.

She hesitated in the doorway, and I grabbed at her wrist.

“Babe, if I wanted to fuck you, you’d still be screaming my name in the shower. And when I was done there, I’d lift you up, my cock buried inside you, and I’d walk you to the bed and take you again. Understand me?”

Her face was flushed.

I was making her wet again.

I felt my nose twitching, wanting to smell that sweet honey that was flowing between her legs.

Of all the crazy shit I’d done in my life, making a woman come with my breath and then with just my words was something new for me. Chalk it up to Violet to find a way to show me something new. It was fucking insane. Sitting there in my own bathroom, hot water running in the shower, telling Violet all the things I wanted to do to that precious cunt of hers, making her come to her own touch.

Holding back was not my thing, but I was starting to appreciate it a little more. Maybe I wanted to show Violet that I could be a half decent guy. Or maybe I wanted to see how much temptation she could take.

I sat Violet on the bed and walked to my dresser. I grabbed the top drawer and ripped it out and off the tracking. I turned and flipped it upside down, dumping out my socks and my boxers. I put the drawer on the floor, then kicked at the clothing.

“See anything?” I asked.

“There’s no letters,” Violet whispered.

“That’s because you went snooping once and found something out about me.”

“I didn’t mean…”

“I burn everything now. That’s what you saw.”

“What?” Violet asked.

“I still commit to what I promised Kate,” I said. “Writing her letters.”

“Oh, Mason…”

“I write to you, too.”

Her eyes went wide. “You write to me?”

“I lost Kate. And I lost you. You two were the only ones who got it. A piece of my heart. So I write to you both. I say whatever the fuck it is I need to say. And then I burn it. Because I can never risk anyone ever seeing it again. I don’t need some woman in my room snooping around and finding letters. Because then I’d be a romantic, right? Because women have this way of letting their hearts get in the way of reality. I’m not some fucking romantic. I’m…”

I lost the words for a second.

I saw the look on Violet’s face. She really understood what was happening here.

I was offering a piece of my heart again. I knew what she wanted in return, and maybe I’d tell her the entire story. What she didn’t seem to realize was that to talk about Kate and about the truth was to dig up some old bones and let some old demons out to play. She thought I was fucking crazy now? She had no idea what crazy was.

The words never came back to me, so I left the bedroom.

I walked to the kitchen and got a fresh beer. I twisted off the cap and threw it back, wishing it was whiskey. Hovering over the sink I looked down at the ashes of the letters.

There was silence all around. Then came the subtle shuffling sound as Violet crept up behind me. When she touched my back, I felt a warmth shoot through me. I sucked in a breath and shut my eyes, slipping back for a quick second to a time when all that shit felt real and felt good. No worry. No guilt. No care.

“Mason,” Violet said. “You never lost me. I’m sorry for everything that happened.”

“No,” I said. “You’re not going to apologize to me, babe. We’re not going down that road. The second we start apologizing is the second we start changing ourselves for the other. That’s how you fail.”

“Jesus, Mason,” Violet said.

I forced myself to turn around and face her. I looked down at her. She smelled like my soap, and for some fucking reason that really turned me on. Her hair was still wet, darker, curling at the ends. She was like a dream in the nightmare of my life. Part of me wanted to scare her away for good. Another part of me wanted to keep her close and let her try and save me.

“What?” I asked.

“You say stuff like that,” she said. “Stuff that’s so far beyond what you are. What you show the world. I don’t want to change who I am. I don’t want you to change who you are. We worked fine before…”

“Until you found out about a piece of my past,” I said. I reached up and gently stroked her cheek with the back of my hand. “There’s nothing I can do about my past.”

“Fine. I heard the word wife and freaked out. Do you know why?”

“Why, babe?”

“Not so much that you were actually married,” Violet said. She stepped back, moving out of my reach. “But the idea of you being married. That you committed yourself to someone in such a deep way. When I thought you were going to do that with me.”

Shit.

Talk about hitting me in the gut.

“I promise you,” I said. “The whole marriage thing…it’s not what you think. Trust me.” I pushed forward and killed the distance between me and her. “I let you in, Violet. I let you into my apartment, my bed, my heart. I let you read those letters I wrote to Kate. I wrote a letter to Kate about you and gave it to you to read. Nobody ever got that before. Ever. I need you to know that.”

“I didn’t just runaway,” Violet said. “I really wanted you to come after me and explain yourself.”

“I don’t give excuses,” I said. “You should know that about me.”

“Still…”

“I didn’t want you to hurt any more than you were. And the situation…”

“Stop crutching on that,” Violet said. She reached up and touched my face. “Mason, you’re trying to change yourself. You’re trying to hide from what you know is right and wrong. No matter how long your hair gets or how much ink you put in your skin, your eyes will never change. And I could stare into your eyes and see everything.”

“If you can see everything then I don’t need to share a thing with you.”

Violet grinned. “Asshole.”

“Tell me you hate me again,” I whispered.

“Oh, I hate you, Mason. So fucking much.”

There were mere inches separating her lips from mine. I was in control of it all, too. Think I gave a fuck about some boyfriend? Hell no. What I did give a fuck about was her heart. I was capable of breaking her heart. But was I capable of holding her heart and caring for it?

I inched in and felt the heat of her breath.

Our lips softly touched…

… and the doorbell buzzed.

* * *

The pizza guy was lucky he didn’t get a smack to the damn mouth. But maybe it was for the best. Cut off the temptation a little before things went too far. Not that there was ever truly a too far when it came to Violet. She made me want everything. All that relationship crap and then some. In return, however, I’d have to give her my everything.

“Thank you for letting me spend the night here,” she said to me after we were done eating.

She was curled up on the couch, under a blanket, holding a bottle of beer. She was a fucking dream, still. Everything beautiful. Everything perfect.

“So, don’t a couple just fight and someone sleeps on the couch?” I asked. “I mean, I’m just curious. You know me and the whole dating game…”

“Mason…”

“I’m just wondering if I should sleep with a baseball bat in case Davis comes looking for me.”

Violet laughed. “You’re afraid of Davis?”

“Not at all,” I said. “I’m just trying to make you not feel so bad for sleeping with a guy like that.”

“Stop.”

“What? Am I lying?”

“In some ways, yeah, you are lying.”

“How so?”

“Where’s your wife?”

I looked forward and sighed. “That didn’t take long.”

“Please,” Violet said. “I hope you know what that felt like for me.”

“I said I was sorry. And it’s not a simple thing, Violet.”

“Oh, I can see that as clear as day.”

“Nothing about us is simple,” I said as I stood up. “Look at us. You’re on my couch. You’re in my shirt. You fucking fingered yourself in my shower while I was telling you everything I wanted to do to you.”

Her face turned red as she stared up at me. She was eye-level with my cock. I was thick, swollen, my body aching to fucking come. I didn’t go this long without taking care of myself, but every time I turned the fuck around, Violet was at my apartment.

“What do I say to that?” Violet whispered.

“I don’t know, babe. I don’t fucking know. But right now, I should be inside you. You should be pushing your hands against the wall to keep the headboard from making more marks on the wall. And the only reason I’m not is because I’m trying to offer you something I never give anyone.”

“What’s that, Mason?”

I touched her chin and curled my lip. “Respect. I’m giving you a chance to really think everything through. You know, stepping back into this world, you’re going to get hurt. Is the truth of my past really worth that?”

“I’m not happy unless I’m with you,” Violet said.

I gritted my teeth. “Yeah, you’ve said that before.”

“So the worst has happened,” Violet said. “Your wife showed up. Do you love her, Mason?”

“Do you love Davis?”

“No. I don’t. He was just…there. Then I found out Dad was sick. Everything just started to spiral, and I forgot who I was.”

“And now you suddenly remember?”

“I remembered the second I saw you in the hallway that day,” she said. “Even with your long hair and all these new tattoos.”

I nodded. “You have a lot to think about then tonight, babe. It’s getting late. You take the bed and I’ll take the couch.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. Get a good night of rest, because you have to face your boyfriend tomorrow and figure your shit out. I’d like to apologize to your parents, too. For what happened. Your father doesn’t need that kind of stress.”

I started to move and Violet grabbed my hand. “Mason. Why? Why does it matter so much? My parents…”

“I didn’t have parents growing up,” I admitted. The shell was starting to crack, and I fucking hated it. “You have parents. Good parents. Your father doesn’t judge me by how I look. He judges me by how I look at you.”

“The cancer, though,” she said. “That matters to you. Why?”

I ripped my hand away from her. “Because it does.”

I walked to the bedroom and grabbed a pillow and a blanket. I stood there and felt Violet enter the room, coming up behind me. It reminded me of what happened with Stacey when she bailed me out of jail.

Violet put her hands to my back. I shut my eyes and was thrown back in time to a place I never wanted to visit again. A place I never wanted to see again.

Please don’t be angry with me, Mason. I know what this means to you. I promise you…I…it means something to me, too. But you know…I wish you’d look at me when I say this to you, Mason. I do love you. I know you know that…I…

“… do love you,” Violet whispered.

I felt like ice ran through my veins. My back stiffened, and I turned around. I swore for a split-second I saw Kate’s face. I fucking saw Kate standing there, looking at me. My heart pounded as I grabbed for her waist.

I knew you’d come back…

I spun around and threw her to the bed. That’s when I saw Violet again, but that didn’t matter. Violet bounced on the bed and then jumped up, coming right at me. My hands grabbed at her ass. I felt my shirt, and that wasn’t good enough. I tore at the bottom of it, demanding to feel her skin. The backs of her legs were soft and silky. Warm. Primed for my touch and then some. My hands slid up and I cupped her ass, feeling the laced edges of her panties. I pulled her, bringing that sweet center of hers against the throbbing bulge in my jeans.

Her mouth was open, sighing and gasping, ready for me.

Fuck, we were both so ready for each other.

I regained my senses and took my hands from her. I pushed her to the bed and stared down at her. She lifted her feet to the bed, my long t-shirt moving up her legs, showing me her purple panties.

“If you love me, then you’ll know what to do,” I said. “Have a good fucking night, Violet.”

I grabbed a pillow and a blanket and left my bedroom.

The craziest part of it all was that Violet was everywhere in my apartment. Empty beer bottles on the counter. An empty pizza box. Some chick flick on my TV droning on about finding the right one. The smell of her in my bathroom. Water on the tiles from her shower. My dresser drawer on the floor in the bedroom where I dumped it. The ashes in the sink of the letter I wrote to her and burned.

Her spot on the couch where I crashed with a fresh beer.

Hours collected and moved along as I sat in silence.

I only got up one time, and that was to check on her.

Violet was sound asleep in my bed. Right where I wanted her. Right where she belonged. Right where I could never force her and hold her. She needed to make that decision on her own and brace herself for me to hurt her again and again.

I stood there, arms folded, and said the only thing that came to mind, even if it was just a fucking whisper.

“I fucking love you too…”