Chapter 15
Petrov's information led us to a contract killer currently held by the Los Angeles Police Department on unrelated charges. We got in touch with them to hold on to him and I booked the next flight there. Katherine stayed in New York to pursue another line of investigation. It was the second time in a few months that I worked without her and I felt again the same low level panic coursed through me.
When I packed my luggage, I wondered if I should tell Skye that I was coming. It had been almost three weeks since her last call, and I was relieved that she still hadn't called. She always asked about my cases, and I didn't want to lie to her, but I didn't want to tell her I was going to be in Los Angeles. I didn't think I'd be able to handle seeing her. I switched off my phone on the plane, and I left it off. I'd be at the Police Station and anyone who needed me could reach me there.
LA was under a heat wave as bad as any New York got sometimes in the middle of the summer, but the here it seemed hotter and impossibly bright. The uneasiness dissipated as soon as I walked into the Police Station.
I didn't have much leverage against the killer, but I used what Petrov told us about his methods to get into his head. It worked, but when I left the interrogation room I was drained.
"Hi," Skye said.
She stood a few feet away, with the bright smile I haven't seen on her face in months. The blinding white of her shirt accentuated the tan. Her cheekbones were still sharp and the soft curve of her hips was still absent. In the darkness of my nights, I sometimes recalled watching "Sophia" in her yoga pants, and my hands burned with the same desire to feel her flesh.
"Hello," I said, not knowing how to address her. I used to call her Skye, but I didn't want to make her uncomfortable.
"Can I take you to lunch?"
I thought about filing my report. I had to call Katherine with an update. But most of all I didn't want her to take me to lunch as you took an out of town colleague.
"I still have some paperwork."
"I'll wait," she said.
"No, I couldn't ask you to-"
"You didn't ask. Loosen up, Woods. It's just lunch."
That did not help me to loosen up. I used the routine of writing my report, filing documents, and checking in with Katherine to prepare myself for our non-date.
We ran out of work related issues halfway through lunch. I saw her squirm under the weight of silence. I didn't feel inclined to help her. The interrogation I had just finished had taken its toll on me. She spoke to cover the awkward pause in the conversation.
"You look exhausted."
The words came out worse than she expected. She blushed but I smiled.
"It's a step up from awful," I said thinking of her first words to me after they had removed the bandage from her eyes. To my surprise, she looked even more uncomfortable.
"I planned on visiting my parents this week. My department psychologist says that I should reconnect more with the places that give me strength."
She sounded apologetic and insecure. My heart shrunk at the rejection, but I refused to let her see it. It hurt and it pleased me to see her brush off the darkness. She belonged in this sunny place, with flip flops and bright colors.
"There's an exhibit at the Museum of Contemporary Art I wanted to visit this weekend," I said. "And I have a friend at CalSci who helped me with some cases. I promised we'd meet up if I'm ever in LA."
I expected to see traces of concealed relief on her features, not that crease between her eyes and the sparkle of tears in her eyes.
"Oh," she said. "I, I… umm."
"I'm a big boy, Skye. You don't have to keep me company just because I'm visiting. You'd make me feel bad about not showing you anything worth seeing in New York."
I tried to sound light but her reaction had caught me off guard. She couldn't still not know how she felt about me. She had to have accepted that I was her sex toy, no feelings attached. If she wanted to go up to my room, I'd oblige without as much as a whisper about how I felt about her. I had resigned myself to my role in her life. She was a practical minded person, surely, she had accepted her kink in what was otherwise a nice, vanilla sexuality.
"It's not that," she said. Her voice sounded more resolute this time as if something was decided inside her. "An Art Museum and CalSci are fascinating places, for nerds," she added in a mock-whisper, "but there is no place like Magnolia Grove to recharge your batteries. I don't want to be your guide in Los Angeles, I want to show you my California."
And that was all it took for me to give up an interesting evening at the museum and a much anticipated conversation with a man who helped me put away murders from his high tech lab. I called Katherine and told her I needed a week off. I had plenty of vacation days left, and we had just closed the big Russian case. She didn't ask for details, but the tone of her voice told me she thought I needed a vacation.
I checked out of the hotel and a few hours later, I was in her car, with my travelling bag in her trunk. I hadn't prepared for anything other than work in Los Angeles, expecting to be there for one week. From the only two suits I had, I chose the lightest and I put on a white shirt for the road. I thought I did a decent job of adapting to the environment until I was greeted with a snigger from Skye.
"My brother is going to make so much fun of you," she said.
"What, you mean Inigo?" I said. It would be fun to see how much I could annoy her elder brother.
"Oh, yeah, you make sure to call him that. He's going to looooove that."
I smiled back at her. She was wearing red flip flops, white Capri pants, and a loose top with alternating white and navy blue horizontal stripes. Her hair was held back from her face with a colorful scarf which, along with her large sunglasses gave the whole outfit a strong retro vibe. I couldn't see in her anything of the girl with haunted eyes and smudged makeup who came apart in my bed. She was once again the bright sunshiny girl whom I wanted to protect and worship from afar.
Skye drove slowly through the idyllic scenery of Southern California in her vintage convertible. Her body was tense and she was alert to traffic, but this was as close to seeing her relaxed as I ever had. The difference in her demeanor from her latest New York visit was remarkable. I still felt her inner spring coiled tightly inside her, but the darkness had faded away. The colorful scarf tied in her honey blonde hair fluttered in the wind.
Her hair had grown down to her shoulder blades again, its shade had softened, lightened by the sun. I observed the muscle definition under the toned skin of her arms as she reached for the car stereo to choose the music for our ride. I was used to Katherine driving, and her tastes in music. I was used to conversation while moving from our station to a murder scene or chasing leads. The silence between us was eerie.
I hadn't prepared myself for seeing her again. The case brought me to LA and I hadn't had any intention to meet up with her. When she showed up outside the interrogation room the day before, I was surprised and pleased and maybe deep inside my want for her made me hope for sex, but I never took for granted that it would happen. I didn't do anything to let her know how much I wanted her. I hadn't done anything in New York either, and it always happened, so maybe the part of me that hoped was somewhat entitled to feel that way. What I did not expect was her offer to spend a week with her at her parents' house. I felt uncomfortable to suspect that she did it because of some sense of duty. As if she owed it to me to take me to her childhood home because she had used my childhood home to exorcise her demons.
This entire evening did not feel real. The smell of the sea and magnolias wafted in the car and made everything feel dreamlike.