I step into the hot shower as Sophie sits outside, pawing at the door, wanting to get in with me. She starts barking in her high-pitched bark that was once adorable. After a night of practically zero sleep because of that high-pitched barking and accidents in the house, I no longer find the bark adorable. I take a deep breath, trying my best not to take my frustration out on her.

Sophie decides that barking isn’t getting her anywhere, so she lies down on the floor mat in front of the shower. I exhale deeply as I let the water run over my head. I can finally relax. I don’t have to worry about her for at least a couple of minutes while I shower.

Instead, I can think about what has really been driving me crazy all night.

Ivy.

I came here because I want her, but now that I’m here, I have no idea how to win her back. How to tell her the truth or even if I should. Do I even deserve to have her in my life after how badly I treated her? If I loved her, should I bring her back into my life, knowing how much it could hurt her?

I don’t have the answers.

I don’t know if I will ever have the right answers.

I just have to make a decision.

But not right now. Now, I just want to think about Ivy.

My hand automatically goes to my cock, just thinking about her. I ache for her. And I can’t believe that she didn’t remember everything from our first date. At the very least, I can’t believe she didn’t remember what had happened after we swam in the ocean. How that first kiss had felt. It was the sweetest yet dirtiest kiss I’d ever had. One second, it was sweet. The next, we both knew it was going to lead to dirty things that we shouldn’t feel after knowing each other for only a couple of hours.

And, as good as the first kiss was, the second was even better.

* * *

Three Years Earlier: Second Date

I knock on the door of Ivy’s apartment that she says she shares with her best friend, Skye.

The door flings open, and a woman is standing in the doorway. She doesn’t look happy to see me. She has rainbow-colored hair and a pierced nose, and tattoos cover her arms. But none of that is what is shocking to me. What’s shocking is that she is standing in the doorway in nothing but a bra and underwear. Her large boobs are spilling out of the bra, and, shit, the bra is see-through.

I keep my eyes focused on her face even though that is hard as well because her eyes are so focused on me. I’m afraid she is trying to break me with just her look.

“You must be Skye. I’m Luca. I’m here for Ivy.”

Skye doesn’t say anything. She just stares at me like she is waiting for me to hit on her.

I stand frozen in the doorway with a smile on my face. I don’t know what else to do.

Suddenly, Skye’s expression changes to something that resembles a smile but isn’t actually a smile.

I cock my head to the side, and my eyes grow large as I wait for her to say something.

“I guess you pass. You can come in. I’ll let Ivy know you are here,” Skye says.

I follow Skye inside the small apartment. “Wait, that was a test?”

Skye shrugs. “Ivy has been hurt too many times. I don’t want her getting hurt anymore.”

I swallow down the lump in my throat. If I don’t want to hurt Ivy, I should just turn around and walk out the door. Because, if my dating history tells me anything, it’s that I hurt women. Over and over. Even when I’m trying to protect them, I hurt them.

But there is something about Ivy that I can’t stop thinking about. I have to have her. I have to see. Because maybe she’ll be the one I’ve been looking for.

“Are you going to put some clothes on now?” I can’t help but ask Skye.

She laughs. “Why would I do that? I want to torture you as long as I can. You need to know that I will personally come after you if you hurt my friend.”

I nod. “Understood.”

“Good.” She walks over to the hallway that I assume leads to their bedrooms. “Ivy! Get your ass out here!” she shouts down the hallway.

Ivy comes out, and my eyes grow wide at the sight of her. She’s in blue jean shorts and a white lace bra that her dark nipples strain against. Other than her nipples being completely visible, she’s not wearing anything different than she was the last time I saw her, but somehow, this seems more intimate than seeing her in a bathing suit. Her tightly curled hair is loose instead of up in a ponytail. She has spent time on her makeup. And she is wearing lingerie that I know is for me.

It’s hard to tell if she blushes or not because of how dark her skin is, but I can tell from her eyes that she is both embarrassed and proud. Most likely embarrassed that she came out in this state of dress when she didn’t realize I was here yet proud of her body that is getting more turned on, the longer we stare at each other.

“Is this another test?” I whisper to Skye, who is standing next to me.

She laughs. “Everything is a test. But I think, so far, you are passing with flying colors.”

I grin as I continue to stare at Ivy. “If you don’t go put a shirt on, I’m not going to be able to control myself.”

Ivy bites her lip. “I’m not sure I want you to control yourself.”

My eyes widen when she says that.

Is this the same woman from the beach? The same woman who only let me kiss her once and then pushed me away, wanting to take things slow?

Skye clears her throat. “I don’t care if you guys go out to dinner or just stay in and fuck, but I don’t want to hear you guys if you stay in. So, play your music loudly or go somewhere else.”

Ivy and I both exhale at the same time.

“We’ll leave,” we say in unison.

Skye just shakes her head as she walks over to Ivy. She grabs Ivy’s arm and then starts pulling her down the hallway toward her bedroom. I assume she’s going to tell Ivy to finish getting dressed. I close my eyes when they both disappear around the corner and try to imagine anything other than Ivy.

I’m not going to fuck her tonight. She’s too good of a girl to fuck, and I am not that kind of guy. Well, I’m not that kind of guy when I want to see the woman again after the first date. And I want to see Ivy again. No, I need to see her again and again and again.

Ivy is the woman I’ve been looking for. I know it. She’s the one. And I’m not going to fuck it up by jumping her bones as soon as I get her alone. It’s not going to happen.

I try to force my brain to think about food, about surfing, about the gross man I saw picking his nose in the car next to me on the way over here. Just when it starts working, I hear Skye clear her throat.

I look up, and Ivy is standing in a romper that barely covers her butt and reveals the top of her bra. My eyes pop open as I look at her. I had Ivy pegged all wrong. She isn’t a sweet, innocent girl. She’s a fierce firecracker, who is going to destroy me. I know it.

Not if I destroy her first, the voice in my head says.

Ivy devours me with her gorgeous dark brown eyes while I try to get my cock in check. But I know she can see how hard I am beneath my jeans when her eyes linger over it. I no longer care to take things slow. We are both willing to play with fire even though we know there is a good chance we will get burned.

I walk over and grab Ivy’s hand as I rack my brain, trying to figure out where I can take her. I can’t even remember what my original plan for our date was. I try to focus, but all I can focus on are Ivy’s breasts bouncing as I pull her toward the door of her apartment. I force my eyes to focus on the door instead of Ivy.

Think, think, think.

I need to take her somewhere romantic. If we are going to fuck, at least I want it to be someplace nice, special.

A hotel maybe?

I try to think of the nicest hotel in the area, but my mind is blank.

Food.

I should get her some food first, and then we can fuck.

Romper. Heels. Dance.

I should take her dancing somewhere. I know that women who dress up like Ivy want to go out dancing.

But, again, my mind is drawing a blank.

Suddenly, we are at her apartment door. I open the door and step outside into the warm air as I pull Ivy with me. She shuts the door behind me.

Shit. I don’t have long to decide what we are going to do.

I glance at Ivy again. I’m not going to be able to think of anything else ever again.

She smiles.

Damn it, I love her smile.

Love. That’s not a word I think I have ever used.

But, God, do I love her smile.

She giggles when I look at her like I’m going to devour her at any second. And, now, I’m thinking about how much I love her laugh. Because, damn it, I think I love her laugh, too.

“What is going on in that head of yours?” she asks, cocking her head to the side as she looks at me like she loves my smile, too.

“I’m thinking about how much I love your smile and laugh.”

Her smile gets bigger. “And?”

“And I have no idea where I was planning on taking you because all I want to do is taste that dirty mouth again. All I want is to fuck you.”

I take a step closer to her. She doesn’t back away. I grin and tuck a strand of loose hair behind her ear before I let the back of my hand trail down the side of her face. She closes her eyes, and her breathing gets slow and steady, like she is trying to feel every tingle in her body.

I lower my lips to hers before she opens her eyes. The kiss is supposed to be soft and gentle, just like how I touched her face. But I can’t control my lips any more than I can control my thoughts or my cock. My lips crash against her soft lips that taste like strawberries from the lip gloss she is wearing. My hands grab her arms and push them high above her head, and my body pushes hard against hers, needing to feel every curve and every inch of her smooth skin against mine. I feel myself pushing her much too hard against the door of her apartment, but she doesn’t seem to mind.

She opens her mouth, allowing my tongue inside. Soft, quiet moans purr from her throat as we kiss. Her arms and body don’t fight me as I kiss her. Instead, they invite me in. Our bodies fit together as we kiss, and she moans louder when I push my cock into her stomach. It doesn’t feel like the second time we have kissed, and the first time we had a serious make-out session. It feels like we have been doing this for years but with a fire that hasn’t ever burned out.

Still, this isn’t enough to satisfy either of us. But I can’t think straight. I’m much too single-minded and focused.

First, I want her lip in my mouth. So, I bite her bottom lip and pull it into my mouth, sucking on it. Next, I want her neck. Boobs. Stomach. Pussy. I want to feel and taste it all.

“We,” she says between kisses. “Should…ah, fuck,” she says as I kiss her neck.

She pulls her arms out of my grasp above her head, and it’s like that one kiss flipped a switch inside her. Before, she could think, and she could talk. But, now, the only thing she can do is moan and kiss and breathe.

Her hands go around my neck as she tries to pull me closer to her. I grab her bare legs and wrap them around my waist, like somehow having her fully in my arms is going to change something. But having her in my arms will make it so that I can carry her anywhere. She’s mine while I have her in my arms.

And that is what I need right now. I need her to be mine. A feeling I never thought I would feel again.

Suddenly, the door opens, and I feel myself losing my balance. I barely have time to try to turn as we fall to the floor in the entryway to her apartment.

“You okay?” I ask Ivy.

I did my best not to fall on her, but I know that I did little.

“What are you two doing?” Skye asks.

I look over at Ivy, who is lying on the floor next to me with the largest grin on her face.

We both burst out laughing as Skye glares over us.

“When I told you that I didn’t want to hear you, I meant it. I told you to leave, not barely make it out of our apartment and then make out so that I could see you.”

I look at Ivy, not sure how to handle her friend.

“We’ll go to my room,” she says, looking at me with lust in her eyes.

I look up at Skye, like I have to ask her permission to take Ivy into her bedroom. To be honest, Skye scares the shit out of me.

Skye just looks at Ivy with a raised eyebrow and hands on her hips. “Really, Ivy?” asks Skye. “You’re going to let this bum of a man do you without him even buying you dinner first?”

Ivy doesn’t answer with words, but her eyes say it all. I stand up and help Ivy to her feet. And then I grab hold of each side of her face and kiss her again. My eyes close as I take in her lips. And kiss her again and again and again.

“Jesus. Fine, I’m out of here. I’ll stay at my parents’ house tonight if you need me, Ivy. But just realize that you owe me one after this.”

I open my eyes just enough to see Ivy waving off her friend, but she doesn’t open her eyes or stop kissing me.

As soon as the door slams, Ivy’s lips pull away from mine, and I’m left wanting. Ivy grins again as she grabs hold of my hand and starts pulling me toward her bedroom.

“What?” she asks.

I shake my head. “Nothing. You are just nothing like what I expected.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“Both.”

As I walk toward her bedroom, Ivy leading the way, I can’t take it anymore. I need my hands on her body. I need to have her now, not later. I scoop her up and carry her into the first room I see. I toss her onto the bed and then remove my shirt, watching her eyes grow heavy as they fall across my chest.

“Like what you see, baby?”

She rolls her eyes at me, but it doesn’t stop her from looking. “I like you much better when you don’t go for cheesy lines like that.”

“I need you naked. Now.”

Ivy bites her lip as she stares up at me. “Oh, yeah? And what if I obey you? What if I give in to your commands and do exactly what you want? Will you be out of my bed before I even wake in the morning? Will you lead me on for a few weeks to try to get all the sex you think you can get out of me? Will you call me up at random times, looking for a booty call but nothing else?”

My eyes darken as I stare at her, lying on the bed. I push my pants and underwear off and watch as her eyes grow even heavier. Her breathing is fast, her body flushed. I can tell from everything in her body that she likes what she sees, and she wants this.

So, despite her hesitation, despite her words saying that she’s scared that this is just going to be a one-time thing, she is still willing to do it because this is what she wants. She wants me now, just like I want her now. We aren’t waiting for anything.

I crawl up on top of her still-clothed body and sit just over her hips. My hands slide on either side of the fabric of her romper, and I pull hard. The fabric rips as easily as if it were a piece of paper. I wasn’t expecting it to come apart so easily, just like I wasn’t expecting her to want me so easily.

I lower my lips to the bare skin over her chest. I kiss gently, my lips barely brushing against her skin, as I hear and see her suck in a breath.

“I don’t think I could ever give you up after this. I want this too much. I want to fuck you, and I want to love you. I want to take you to dinners so romantic that it’s fit for a king yet fuck you in the dirty bathroom, like the dirty girl you really are but only show to me. I want everything, and you’re not getting rid of me so easily.”

She takes several deep breaths as she contemplates what I said. I know she thinks it’s a line. Just something men say to get into her pants. I meant every word, but I know it will take more than words to prove that to her, especially after what I’m going to do to her later.

“What are you waiting for? Fuck me.”

I grin. “Oh, I plan on it.”

I slide the romper off her body, and then I reach back into the pocket of my pants and pull out a condom that I never thought I would use tonight. I stare at her body in her lace bra and underwear.

She leans forward and reaches her hand behind her back. “I seem to remember you saying that you wanted me naked.” She undoes the hook on her bra and then pulls it off. She slips one leg and then the other out of her underwear and tosses them to the floor. She looks at me with a smirk on her face. My heart stops as I just look at her.

“Goddamn it.”

She raises an eyebrow at me.

“I can’t believe you’re mine.”

She looks at me, confused. “I’m not yours.”

I look at her seriously. “You are tonight.”

And then I flip her over hard, sucking the breath out of her. Because I know that I can’t fuck her while looking her in the eyes. Not tonight. Tonight isn’t about romance. Tonight isn’t about love. Tonight is about the first time I get to claim her body before I claim her soul and hope that she survives it.

I slip the condom on and then grab her hips, loving how plump and curvy her ass is in my hands. I reach one hand up between her legs, ensuring that she is as wet as I think she is. When I get confirmation, I push my cock inside her.

She groans. Half-pain, half-pleasure. My head comes down, and I kiss her shoulder as I wait for a second to ensure the pain ends quickly.

“You’re huge.”

“You’re tight,” I moan happily against her neck.

I don’t wait for her to catch her breath or to ease the pain for more than a second before I drive into her again. I grab hold of her hips and slam hard into her gorgeous ass as I thrust inside her.

“I need—”

“More,” I finish for her.

Her head nods gently as she pants just a little. I give her more. I push in deeper, filling her completely, as her breathing speeds up.

“I need—”

I reach my hand, finding her clit between her folds and running my thumb across it.

“Yes…th-hat.”

I feel her building and growing and tightening around me, and thank God, because I won’t last either.

“I need—”

“Faster,” I say as I move faster.

I don’t know how I know her so well, but I do. I know her body. I know what she needs. I know everything, just like I know that I am desperate to have her forever.

“Come, baby,” I whisper in her ear just as I feel her clench and unravel all over my cock.

Her orgasm pushes me into my own. And then we collapse on the bed, both breathing heavily.

She smiles as we lie face-to-face, our noses barely touching each other. She has the most beautiful grin on her face, like she knows something that she can’t wait to tell me.

“What is it?” I ask.

She bites her lip, contemplating answering me, and then finally says, “This isn’t my bedroom. It’s Skye’s.”

* * *

Present

I come in the shower, just thinking about that night and how perfect it was. And then I went and fucked everything up. And then Skye, as I’d suspected, made my life a living hell after she discovered that I fucked Ivy in her bed. It’s not as bad as whatever she’s going to do to me now that I’m back in Ivy’s life, no matter how short-lived it’s going to be.

I turn off the water and grab the towel before stepping out of the shower when I hear a high-pitched squeal. I look down and see Sophie hobbling away from under my feet. Shit, I forgot she was down there.

I walk over to her, bend down, and scoop her up. “You okay, girl?”

She immediately begins licking my face. I smile and place her back on the ground before I start walking toward my closet to get some clothes to change into. As I do, I notice that Sophie, who is following me, has one of her feet raised.

I scoop her back up into my arms. “I guess it’s another vet visit for you.”

I’m just not sure if seeing Ivy again so soon is a good idea or not.