Chapter Fifty

Katy

“Mooommmy!” I hear Noah call from outside my bathroom door where I study my reflection. Another breakthrough. More homework from my shrink.

Great, now I get to stare at my saggy boobs.

Nervous laughter bursts out of me as I try to give myself a fair assessment. “Be right there, baby!”

“Hurry up! Hurry up!” he calls as he bounds out of my bedroom.

Closing my eyes briefly, I give myself a little grace. Advice from the soldier who greeted me the minute I returned home.

Grace.

Concentrating on my reflection, I slowly peruse the peaks and valleys of my body.

The burn scar is what bothers me the most, it’s menacing and covers a large part of my lower abdomen. I’ve gained weight, a majority of it in the last month. It’s showing in the way my jeans fit.

While Briggs might have bounced back, my recovery has been a different story.

The doorbell sounds as I clasp my bra and pull on jeans and a T-shirt. I’m not feeling the self-love just yet, but at least I’m beginning to see a difference.

Noah calls from the bottom of the stairs just as I’m coming down.

“Hey, baby,” my mom greets, her eyes lighting up. “Katy, you look amazing.”

Hope seeps in and begins to spread for the first time in weeks. My mother is no bullshit.

“Really?”

“Yes,” she swears, pulling me in for a hug.

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Don’t thank me,” she says, “you’re the one working on it.”

“I mean, thanks for taking Noah to Disney.”

“Oh,” she says, “well, we can still bring you with us, we have room.”

“Not ready for all that stimulation,” I tell her honestly, “but, soon.”

“It’s fine,” she looks at me and her eyes well up.

“Don’t cry, Mom, I’m okay.”

“I know,” she says as Noah commands her from his bedroom.

“Grandma, get up here!”

She gives me a weary look. “Here we go, that’s all we need is another alpha male in this family.”

“Speaking of which, where’s Dad?”

“He’s outside rearranging the trunk.”

“I’m going to go help him.”

Walking outside my front door, I’m stopped short when I see my dad on our porch steps staring at the open trunk of his SUV.

“Dad?” I ask as I take the seat next to him. He stays wordless for a few seconds before speaking low.

“You haven’t heard from him?”

I stare at my freshly painted nails. “Not in the way I hope to.”

He nods, solemnly.

“Dad, we’ll be okay. We will. It’s just the—”

“This is my fault,” he says, cutting me off before looking at me with guilt clouding his features.

“What?” My father is not an emotional man, not in the slightest.

“I raised you to be a soldier instead of a debutante. This never would have happened if I hadn’t encouraged you.” His shoulders slump as he tucks in his upper lip, a pain-filled breath escaping him.

“Daddy, stop. Even if you had discouraged me, I would still be military. Don’t for one second blame yourself. You supported my decision, you didn’t force me.” This conversation rings true to what a hypocrite I’ve been.

He nods, my consoling not doing much for him. He’ll continue to blame himself until he sees me happy. It’s only more incentive to get to that place, and for the first time since coming home, I feel like I have a fighting chance.

“I’m okay, Daddy.” As I stand, my father grips my hand pulling himself to his feet, before hugging me, hard. I giggle into his shoulder because I’m not used to the affection from him, and am quickly reprimanded.

“It’s not funny, Kathryn Nicole,” he says as he begins to pull away, but I can see the hint of a smile on his lips. “Just know, whatever happens, your mom and I are here to back you up.”

“I know that,” I tell him sincerely.

The sound of tiny sneakers echoes on the porch, just as Noah whizzes past us with his backpack on. “I’m going to Disney. Bye, Mommy!”

“Yeah right,” I say chasing after him, capturing him on the front lawn with his back to my chest. He giggles at being caught as we rub cheeks, and I pull him to the grass. After a few seconds of rolling around, Noah looks up to me with the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.

“You’re better.”

Instant tears spring to my eyes. “You think so?”

“The medicine is working, Mommy. What is it?”

I look down at my son and tell him the truth. “You.”