Chapter Seven

 

The ocean rolled and tossed itself against the shore. As we sat looking out over the water, our hands still connected, I noticed no one else was on the beach. I hadn’t seen another soul since we started our walk.

“It’s quiet out here tonight,” I said nervously as I shifted my position. The hip didn’t spasm again, which was a good sign.

“They’re probably all down at the other side of the beach. Guests tend to gravitate there because of the tiki bar. It’s the reason I always walk this way. It’s quieter.”

“I hadn’t thought of the bar, but it makes sense.” I looked down at myself in the sand and had a sudden realization. “I don’t know how to get up.”

He crawled around in front of me. “The same way I helped you at the daycare. Out of curiosity, how do you get up when you fall and you’re alone?” he asked, holding my hand.

I stared over his shoulder to watch the waves undulate rhythmically. “I’ve had to call Gideon to come help me up more than once.”

He stood and brushed his hands and pants off. “Have no fear, I’ll stand in for Gideon tonight.”

“Grab me under my arms and help me up. Once I get my feet under me I’ll be okay,” I assured him.

He took a moment to brush away the sand from my thigh. His hands worked purposefully, but they teased my skin with their warmth and made me moan from pleasure. His head snapped up and his hands froze.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked quickly.

I waved my hand. “No, sorry. Your hands are warm and they felt good,” I said, then dumped my head in my hand. “Why did I tell you that?”

He finished his work and rested his hand on my leg, running it up and down the outside of my skirt. He used his other hand to tilt my chin up. “You don’t have to be embarrassed to tell me the truth, or to enjoy the touch of a man. I’ll help you up if you’re ready.” I nodded and he put his arm around my waist, lifting me more than helping me. Once I was standing again, I brushed my dress off as he held me upright. “I think it works easier to lift you from the waist. I’m always afraid I’ll hurt you grabbing you under your arms,” he explained.

I let my head tip up to look into his eyes. “I liked it better, too. It keeps me closer to you and makes me feel safe.”

He leaned down and kissed the tip of my nose. “Good, because you are safe. Know I’ll always be there to pick you up when you need me. Ready to hit the ocean?” he asked, moving us forward a couple steps.

“I can walk,” I promised as I put weight on the left leg to test it out. When it held we took several more steps until we stood on the shore where the waves broke against the sand.

He put my hands on his shoulders and knelt, unhooking my shoes and tossing them into the sand before he did the same with his. “Ready?” he asked. “We’ll take it slow.”

He put his arm around my waist and tugged me against him. My mind understood he did it to make me feel steady and safe, but my heart was pounding a mile a minute. Before I was ready, he lifted me the few steps until our feet touched the water. My toes curled into the sand unconsciously and I giggled a little when the water tickled them. There was a huge grin on my face, but I didn’t care.

“You’re right, this is life-changing,” I said loud enough to be heard over the surf. “I never want to leave.”

He squeezed my waist, holding me close to his side, this time making sure he was on my right, so he didn’t irritate my already sore hip. “We can walk a little farther out if you want to, but your dress might get a bit wet.”

I glanced down at it and back to him. “This old thing?” I asked, teasing and he laughed. “You only live once. I learned the old saying is true, the hard way. Let’s go,” I said, stepping forward.

The water licked against my calves, washing away the stress of the day and centering me where I stood for the first time in a long time. “I’m alive,” I whispered, staring into the black water, broken only by the frothiness of the white waves.

He held my shoulders and rested his forehead on mine. “What does that mean?” he asked, as if he knew there was more to the meaning than a simple two words.

I swallowed and stared into his eyes, black from the angle of the moon and my head against his. “It means I have to stop pretending I died that night. I have to live or when I do take my final breath it will be filled with regret. I see how true those words are tonight. I have to learn how to live again.”

His left hand slid behind my neck and held it loosely while his right hand went to my waist. “Let me help you,” he whispered, and his lips lowered to mine.

I savored the touch of his lips and focused all my thoughts on us. We stood in the surf, the night dark around us, stealing a kiss. There was no better way to learn how to live than in this moment. My arms went around his neck while my head fell to the right slightly, enough for him to advance the kiss to more than a closed mouth, tender joining. His tongue stroked my lips, running the length of them, teasing and heating them until a sigh opened them enough for his tongue to dart through. My own tongue, confined inside, pushed against his and he moaned, his body shaking with the pure pleasure of the kiss, and the willpower it took not to overpower me. I relented and let him in the rest of the way, so he could stroke the inside of my cheeks like a feather. I moaned again as his hand pulled me against him. I was pressed the full length of him, and he was the only thing holding me up. I pushed back with my own tongue until his retreated and gave me the same free reign in his mouth as he had in mine.

He bit down on my tongue and held it for only an instant before he let it go again and whispered, “You, beautiful lady, already know more about how to bring me to life than you understand.”

Before I could answer he dove back in for more and when we came up for air again we were both panting and wet, clear up to our thighs. I glanced down and laughed at him softly. “I think we better take a moment before heading back to the resort. We need to give your pants time to dry,”

“Among other things,” he moaned, shifting uncomfortably. “You have some kind of bewitching power over me no woman ever has before,” he admitted. “That alone should be a good first lesson in being alive.”

 

 

 

The last seventy-two hours since our date had been filled with paperwork, babies, interviews, and building plans. In a few hours, the new recruit for the assistant teacher position would be here from the technical college. I planned to show her around and then get her started on the orientation and paperwork required by the state. Once she was working it would free Winifred up to be with her kids, and me to finally start on the room remodels. I had one thing to do first and I hurried across the reception area as fast as my twisted leg and crutches would allow.

“Hi, Lei,” I said to the woman standing behind the counter. She was young, and a natural beauty with her Japanese heritage prominent in her features. “Do you have a second? I have a question.”

Lei smiled. “Of course, can you ask it here or do you want privacy?” she asked curiously.

I waved my hand. “It’s no big deal. I was curious about the Great Hawaiian Cook-Off. I can’t remember if that’s exactly what he called it, but he said it would happen during a luau in February?”

She put her hand on my arm. “Back up. Who is he?”

“Chef Sawyer,” I said, proud of myself for remembering to use chef and not seeming too friendly.

Her eyes brightened. “Oh, it all makes sense now. Let me guess, you tried his brisket the other night?”

I laughed and the sound echoed in the great reception area of the hotel. “You found me out.”

She leaned on the desk with her elbows. “His brisket is like a religious experience. Anyway, you had it right. It’s the Great Hawaiian Cook-Off. We’re hosting it here this year. It’s the week before the National Hula Competition, which means two busy weekends for us, but hey, it’s great for business.”

I nodded along. “For sure. What do they do during this?”

She chuckled. “Exactly what the title says. They have a cook-off. Chefs from all over the mainland and the islands descend upon us for a weekend. Slowly they’re whittled down to the top five, then they have a cook-off during the luau. The public gets to be the judge of the best overall, and they crown the cook-off queen or king. Prizes are awarded and everyone eats and drinks until they pass out or roll themselves home.”

“Sounds like a great time. I see why Sawyer keeps his recipe close to his chef’s coat,” I said and she raised a brow.

“Sawyer, huh?” she said, watching my reaction.

I could feel myself blushing, but I tried to brush it off. “Is there anything I can do to help? I can take tickets or anything else where I can sit in a chair.”

“Actually, we have this on the agenda to talk about when we all get together to discuss the center. We’re hoping we can come up with a logistical way to have the daycare center open for a few hours for the kitchen and bartending staff. It will make it easier to get help for the event. We might need to do the same for the next weekend.”

I took a moment to run the numbers through my head. “It shouldn’t be a problem, but we’ll probably still be in the small center. We can always offer time and a half to the teachers if we have to. We won’t make much, but it’s a service for the employees to make sure we have enough help for the event.”

She touched her nose. “Exactly. We can talk more about it at the meeting, but I’m glad it’s on your radar.”

A lot of things were on my radar, but I didn’t necessarily know what to do with them all. The biggest one being Sawyer and the way he makes me feel. I could still feel the touch of his lips on mine and the hard lines of his body against me. I walked around half worked up, afraid I will see him and half afraid I won’t. It was a hard way to live when you’re trying to keep your wits about you.

“Me, too. I’ll go back to my office, make a few notes, and work out some scenarios before the meeting. Then we’ll have solid numbers to look at.”

She patted my shoulder. “Sounds perfect. I have to take the morning’s checkout slips to Ellie. Have a great rest of your day.”

“I can take them, I’m going to my office anyway,” I told her. “Unless you need to see her.”

She picked up a pile of papers and handed them over. “I don’t, so I appreciate the offer.”

I tucked the papers in my messenger bag and crutched back down the hall. I learned early on to always have a bag big enough to carry items when using two crutches. Otherwise, it’s hard to say how many times you’ll have to pick them up off the floor before you get to your destination. I waited at the elevator for a trip to the basement when someone called my name.

I spun around and Niko was jogging toward me. “Hi,” he said out of breath when he reached me. “I got your brace by courier this morning. Should we try it on?” he asked, motioning at the shoe box under his arm.

“I’m game,” I said excitedly. The elevator car dinged and we both stepped on, the doors sliding closed when we pushed B. “I have to leave some papers for Ellie on my way to the office first.”

“Lei got you doing her dirty work?” he asked, joking. “She always makes me do the dirty work, like changing Bim’s diapers.”

I laughed and it bounced around inside the car. “She certainly has her wiles, but no, I offered. I walk past her office anyway.”

He followed me patiently, even though it took me much longer to make my way to Ellie’s office than it normally does anyone else. She wasn’t there, and her door was locked, so I stuck a note on her door to come to my office when she was ready for them. Once we were in my office he closed the door and motioned for me to sit in front of the desk.

“Maybe my apartment would give us more space?” I asked, the confines of the room suddenly obvious.

He shook his head and knelt, taking out the brace. “Nah, we’ll put it on and walk in the hallway, but you still have to use the crutches. We’re going to take it slow.”

I agreed and took my shoe off, watching as he showed me the brace and how it strapped on. The brace was simplistic, but hopefully, would be what I needed to stay upright. He slipped the brace into my shoe and handed it to me.

“It’s easier to leave the brace in the shoe, and slip your foot inside it, than try to get the brace in the shoe when it’s on your foot.”

I set the shoe in front of me and slid my leg down in the way he showed me. “I hadn’t thought of it, but you’re right, your ankle wouldn’t bend and the shoe would collapse.”

He nodded. “Right, so we leave Bim’s in his shoes. Makes it easy to put on and take off.”

I glanced up from where I was tying the shoe on. “Doesn’t he wear them in the house?”

He shook his head. “No, these are made to wear in shoes only. The bottom is slippery and uneven to correct your valgus or varus deformity. You can wear it in the house, but only if you have your shoes on. We like to give Bim time out of them a few hours a day, but once you break it in, you can wear it as much as you like. Some adults put them on in the morning and they don’t come off until their shower at night. Just remember, if you get up in the middle of the night you won’t have it on, and will need both crutches.” He held out his hand. “I want you to stand up, but don’t take any steps.”

“Got it,” I said, taking his hand to stand. Once I was up I waited for more directions.

“How does it feel? Does it pinch anywhere? Does it hurt at any particular spot? I can adjust just about anything.”

I tested the leg by putting a little bit more weight on it until there was resistance under my arch. “Not that I can tell just standing here. Maybe if I try walking,” I said, accepting the crutches from him.

He didn’t let go of my hand. “The brace is going to make it feel weird when you roll over. It will take you a little while to get the hang of it, so I’m going to put my hospital belt around your waist,” he explained, pulling a wide cloth belt out of his bag. “If you start to fall, at least I can catch you with this.”

I waited while he fastened it around my waist and then set the crutches forward, stepping through as I normally do. I understood what he meant immediately. The foot no longer pointed out to the side, but now it was harder to get into roll over. Once we got out in the hallway there was a longer stretch of space, and after a few moments I got the hang of it.

“How does it feel?” he asked again and I finished the few feet to my office and lowered myself to the chair.

“Amazing,” I whispered, wiping away a tear. “Why hasn’t someone suggested this before?”

He knelt and handed me a tissue. “I don’t know, but I’m glad it made a difference. I’m not a licensed physician or anything, but I watch a lot of kids walk before and after they get a brace. I saw the same thing with you. Your hip doesn’t have to work as hard to keep the leg straight and moving. I’m wondering if the biggest part of your problem has to do with fatigue of the hip, than actual damage of the nerves or foot. If nothing else it will get you through until you see the doctor.”

I threw my arms around his neck. “Thank you, Niko. You don’t know how this is going to change my life.”

When I let him go, he smiled. “I think I do. I have a little boy at home who went from never leaving his crib at over a year old, to running around on the playground. I’ll be happy if it lessens your pain for a few weeks. The fewer spasms you have, hopefully means the fewer times you’ll fall. I would rather see you enjoying your life and experiencing everything Hawaii has to offer than sitting in your apartment alone.”

“She won’t be, not if I have anything to say about it,” Sawyer said from the doorway. He was leaning on the doorjamb.

“Hey, Sawyer. We were just finishing up. You should see her walk now. Her pain is better?” he asked, glancing at me.

I nodded, smiling what I hoped was a normal smile.

Sawyer smiled, too. “Good. She deserves to walk without pain.”

Niko pushed himself up and gathered his tools. “She does, and I’m going to be on my way, but if you have any pain from wearing it, call or text me. If it’s pinching, same advice. I can heat up the material and push it out if it’s pinching, or shave it down in areas if they are too tight. Don’t suffer because you think it will get better. It won’t. Also, only wear it for a few hours at a time then take it off and let your muscles relax. We’re convincing them to do new things with the brace and they might get angry if you don’t give them a chance to rest. After two or three days, you can use it as much as you want, as long as it doesn’t increase your pain.”

I stood up on my crutches and hugged him again. “I’ll call you if anything comes up. Thank you so much for getting this to me quickly. I can’t wait to try it out on the beach.”

I noticed Sawyer smile and wink at me as I hugged Niko. I braced myself on my crutches again and Niko swung his backpack up onto his shoulder. “I’m always happy to help friends when I can. I told the lab you wanted to pay for it, but they refused. He used a scrap of plastic from a prosthetic that he couldn’t use for anything else.”

I nodded once. “Okay, but they can’t stop me from making a donation to the Shriner’s Hospital.”

He laughed and shook his head. “No, they can’t stop you nor would they discourage you. Have a good day, and if you need anything—”

“Call,” I finished and he gave me the hang ten sign, slapped Sawyer on the shoulder, and left the office.

Sawyer stepped into the room and closed the door, a box behind his back. “This is for you.”

I sat again and he laid it on my lap. I glanced at it and then back to him. “You brought me more flowers?”

He held up his hands near his chest. “It wasn’t me. I was walking down the hallway and saw a delivery guy headed your way. He had this box for you. Seems you have a secret admirer.”

The way he said the words sent a shiver down my spine and I set it next to me on the desk, not wanting to open it in his presence. “I see. Did you need something?”

He shook his head. “Nope, not a thing. I was looking for you, though. I was hoping you’d consider spending some time with me tonight.”

I rubbed my temple. “Dinner again?”

He chuckled. “I was thinking I should feed you, but I was hoping you’d come to my place, let me cook a light meal, and then take a walk on the beach or alternatively, head into town and go to a movie.”

I checked out the brace again while I thought about his question. When I glanced back at him, he was staring at the box on the desk. “I don’t know how well I’d do on the beach tonight with the brace. My leg might be tired.”

His attention returned to my face and he put his hand on my hip. “The brace wasn’t in the picture when I planned out my date request, but you’re right. Another night maybe?”

He turned to go and I called his name. “If you want to cook me dinner at your place I think I can trust you enough to come over for a few hours.” I set my forehead in my hand. “I didn’t mean for it to come out so rudely. I meant I think I can trust myself to trust you.”

He chuckled. “Thanks for clearing it up for me.”

I groaned. “I’m terrible at dating. Do you see how awful I am? I can’t even accept a date request without sounding dumb.”

He knelt in front of me. “Not true, and I was teasing you. I know exactly what you meant. It’s a big step to be alone in my apartment, which means you have to trust I won’t do anything to hurt you or go too far. You already told me the other night you trust me, so now you have to trust yourself in believing it. Now you have to walk the walk.”

I nodded. “You did a much better job of explaining it.”

He rubbed my arm and smiled. “I was thinking I would keep it light with a nice strawberry chicken salad. Sound good?”

“Sounds wonderful,” I said, trying to gather myself again.

He pointed at the box. “I think you should open the box first. I’m not the kind of guy who wants to compete with or steal another guy’s woman.”

I brushed my hand at the box. “I’m not seeing anyone else and I’m no one’s woman.”

He raised a brow and stood, lifting the top off the box. He peered in and frowned. “Dang, this rose is dead,” he said, lifting it out. The flower petals stayed on, but it looked like it had been freeze dried. He handed me the card in an envelope and I tore it open, pulling out the paper inside. I read it aloud.

“Roses are red. My heart is blue. This rose is dead. You will be too.” The paper swam in front of my eyes and it shook as though a volcano had opened on Crater Rim. I heard him calling my name, but didn’t get to respond before the room went black.