Chapter Twelve

 

At Neacal and Anna's wedding the next evening, Kristina enjoyed Colin escorting her into the chapel.

"You look lovely, Kristina," he whispered as he led her toward the place where she would stand as Anna's maid of honor.

Her face warmed. "I thank you."

She did not want to release his warm, strong arm but knew she had to, for he had to stand on the opposite side as Neacal's best man.

The chapel was cold, and she missed the heat of her bedchamber fireplace. During the night, the weather had turned extremely chilly.

Bagpipes skirled from the courtyard outside as Jules, the piper, led the bridal procession from the keep toward the chapel. Many of the shrill sounds were carried away on the blustery, cold wind before they reached her ears. He continued playing outside the door of the chapel while footsteps approached. Kristina imagined Anna approaching on the arm of her mentor, the elderly musician, Eli.

Neacal did not yet trust Ralston to escort Anna, as her brother—if what he'd said was true, and Kristina believed it was. But she could understand Neacal's wariness. Both he and Colin were equally reluctant to allow Kristina to get close to him. They said they would permit Ralston to watch the ceremony from the back of the chapel, though his hands would be bound.

Once the ceremony was underway, Kristina listened as Anna and Neacal exchanged the traditional Highland wedding vows. The beautiful love they shared emanated from them like an intoxicating mist wafting over a field of heather in full bloom. She did not need to see them to know of their devotion to one another. Anna's voice caught with emotion as she repeated the vows.

Equally touching were Neacal's heartfelt vows to Anna, for Kristina knew he meant them. He would always protect her, cherish her and make her life as wonderful as he could. She did not doubt his sincerity. As joyous and grateful as she was for Anna's happiness, Kristina knew she would never be able to experience such a marriage herself, though she wanted to with every fiber of her being. 'Twas better not to dream at all, rather than dream and know the wish could not come true.

If she were a normal woman with sight and smooth skin, Colin would be the man she would select for a husband, but no man, especially a future chief, would want a blind, scarred wife to help him lead a clan or run a castle. And even if he claimed to, she would not saddle him with such a burden of responsibility. His father, the chief, would not approve, nor would his clan. In addition to her disabilities, she was also penniless, with no dowry. She had no clan alliances to offer a chief.

Kristina dried her eyes and held her head high. She refused to wallow in self-pity. She would focus on Anna's happiness and, with Maili's help, sing a special song for her sister and her new husband once they were in the great hall.

During the final prayer, she closed her eyes and blotted them, determined to feel happy. Once it was over, she lifted her head and forced her lips to curve upward into a small smile.

"I present to you Chief and Lady MacDonald," the priest announced jovially.

A cheer of excitement echoed from the rafters. Tears of joy sprang to her eyes, for she was happy the MacDonald clan accepted her sister with such enthusiasm.

She dried her eyes, and a moment later, she recognized Colin's warm, strong hand on her arm. Her smile broadened. She couldn't help it. No matter her future, Colin still made her smile.

"Are you well, Kristina?"

"Aye, of course." She was now. She hoped he hadn't seen her tears of sadness, but something told her he had… his tone of voice, maybe.

He tucked her arm into his bent elbow, next to the bulging muscle of his upper arm, and led her from the chilly chapel into the even colder wind. The cobblestones were uneven, and though she tried to concentrate on lifting her feet high enough not to trip on them, Colin's magnetism snagged her attention. The second time she stumbled, he halted and lifted her into his arms.

"Oh, goodness. I'm sorry I'm so clumsy." Her face heated at her own inadequacy. She wanted to be a graceful lady in Colin's eyes.

"Nonsense, love. These stones are so rough, I don't know how sighted people walk across them without falling."

What on earth? He had called her love. Pressing her eyes closed, she laid her head against his upper chest, absorbing the feel of that endearment and the heat of him. He had a beautiful, bright soul that made her feel treasured.

"Here we are." At the top of the entry steps, he placed her onto her feet and led her into the warm great hall. The delicious scents of the wedding feast reached her.

"Have I told you how gorgeous you are this day?" he whispered into her ear. His hot breath stirred yearnings inside her.

"You are too kind, sir." Finally, she was starting to be able to accept compliments from him, because she trusted him. She believed he considered her attractive, when other people didn't. Even if most others focused on her scar, Colin saw beyond it. Just as she could feel that he was handsome, even if she couldn't see him. She wanted to tell him, but a loud cheer went up for the chief and his new bride.

Colin helped her onto the dais and seated her at the high table between Anna and Maili. She had not known Neacal's sister long, but she had become friends with her quickly.

Maili grasped her hand and whispered, "Are you nervous about singing?"

"Nay, are you?"

"Aye, a wee bit. I'm not used to performing."

"But this is your clan. You should not be nervous."

"I ken 'tis silly of me, but for years they didn't accept me and my gift of second sight. I suppose I still fear their ridicule."

Kristina could understand that. She always feared people would ridicule her scar and blindness, as well. But she wanted to do this for her sister and her new husband.

After the priest said grace, Colin stood and began speaking, his deep, resonant voice echoing over the silent hall. "Let's raise a glass… to my best friend and foster brother. If anyone deserves love and happiness, 'tis you, Chief Neacal MacDonald, for you've endured more pain than any of us can imagine. And to the new Lady Anna MacDonald, I've come to realize what a remarkable, strong and caring woman you are, the perfect healing balm to my friend's battle wounds. And I thank you for that. Neacal and Anna, may all of your days be happy ones. Great health and every good blessing to you. Slàinte mhaith."

A cheer went up while many glasses, tankards and cups clanged together.

When everyone grew silent again, Kristina whispered to Maili, "Is it time?"

"Aye." Maili took Kristina's hand and stood. "Instead of a toast, we will sing a song for our brother and sister."

The minstrels stood to the side of the high table and accompanied them. Kristina had memorized the song, Tabhair dom do Lámh, years ago. She and Maili had only practiced the song together twice but to her ear, it sounded perfect.

After they finished, applause, shouts and whistles of approval exploded. Feeling her face heat with joy and gratitude, Kristina smiled.

 

***

 

Hours later, after eating and drinking all she could, Kristina remained at the high table as the din in the great hall grew—laughter, shouts and music. The clansmen carried Neacal off to join his new bride in the bedchamber.

Kristina didn't know how she would feel if she were a bride awaiting her new husband. Without doubt, she would feel excited and happy, if it was a man she wanted to marry, but also mortified that the whole of the clan would know what was taking place above stairs.

Soon the grumbling men clomped down the stairs again. By the sounds of their slurred voices, 'twas clear they had already drunk too much whisky and ale.

She had not gone up with Anna earlier to assist her in preparing for her wedding night because she would've felt in the way. Being unable to see, she couldn't help her sister undress or put on her new night rail. She couldn't style her hair. In addition, since Anna was a widow, she already knew about the wedding night activities, while Kristina did not. Anna actually preferred that she wait down here for Maili and the rest of the women to return.

Colin must have been amongst the men carting Neacal off to the chamber. Amid the lively dance music, she heard the sounds of many stamping feet as the dancing began anew.

"Lady Kristina?"

She started at the sound of Colin's deep voice just behind her left side. She turned her head.

"Could I have the next dance?"

Joy and appreciation sparked tears in her eyes. Turning her head away again, she blinked at the stinging moisture, lest he see. "I'm not a very good dancer," she said. "I tend to stamp on feet, bump into the others, and create chaos."

"I'll not let that happen. You can hold onto my hands or my shoulders, and place your feet on mine, if you wish, like a wee lass."

She heard the smile in his voice, and that made her want to smile, too. "If you promise to not allow me to embarrass myself," she said.

"Of course."

As she arose from her seat, the music slowed to a ballad. Thank the saints. This sort of dance would be far easier for her. She learned to dance more than a decade ago, and she hoped she remembered how.

Colin lifted her down from the dais, then slipped her arm through his as he led her to the dance floor. Facing her, he placed her hands on his shoulders, then clasped her waist.

"Put your feet on mine," he whispered in her ear.

Hesitating at first, she did as he asked, hoping she wasn't too heavy upon his toes. At least her slippers were soft. She matched her movements to his and it seemed they moved as one. In this slow dance, gliding around the dance floor with Colin felt good, and joy permeated every fiber of her being.

"You're a good dancer," he said, loud enough to be heard over the music.

She grinned. "'Tis because you're doing all the work."

"I don't know about that, but I do know you have a beautiful smile," Colin said.

"I thank you. Are you smiling?"

"Aye."

She did indeed hear the amusement in his voice now. "I wish I knew what your smile looked like." Just that statement alone snatched away her good mood and drew her downward, for she would never know, really. Certainly, she could imagine what his smile might look like, but she could be completely wrong.

"I'll let you feel it, if you wish," he murmured into her ear, his hot breath giving her shivers. Before she could ask what he meant, he gently lifted her off his feet, took her arm and guided her off the dance floor and away to a cooler area where the music was lower. A door clunked shut, muffling the music.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"The library." His voice was a deep, husky murmur.

"I remember now. So you're tired of dancing already?" she asked to cover her sudden giddiness at being alone with him.

"You ken better." He took her hands and raised them. He kissed the backs and then her palms. Chills skittered up her arms and across her chest, near making her sigh. With her fingertips, she took the liberty to explore his square jaw and lean face, with its short, scratchy stubble, and his sensual lips. He was smiling, and somehow she sensed it was genuine.

He leaned closer and brushed his lips across hers, then gave her a dreamy but too brief kiss.

That felt so good she slid her hands around his neck and into his thick hair, then drew him closer. She could not resist the vibrant feel of him, so exciting. He smelled of delectable wine, cinnamon and cloves.

Gently and with great deliberation, he took her mouth in a consuming kiss, making her drunk on the spiced wine taste of him.

He lifted her onto the hard wooden table, surprising her. This raised her higher so that she could more easily reach his mouth. Wickedly, he teased her tongue with his. She could not get enough of his intoxicating mouth. Every kiss made her desire him more. If his kiss was this wonderful, what would making love be like?

She pulled back an inch and whispered against his mouth, "I want you to show me."

"Show you what?" His voice was raspy and heated.

"What it is like… between a man and a woman."

"Damnation, Kristina," he hissed. "I wish you wouldn't say things like that. 'Tis hard enough to resist you as it is."

She clasped her hands onto his doublet. "I don't wish you to resist."

"You are an untouched maiden," he growled.

"'Tis why I want you to teach me. Otherwise, I may never experience it."

"You will one day—"

"Nay. I'm only interested in now," she muttered. "I want you to kiss me and… touch me. Reveal to me what a man does to a woman in the bedchamber. What you did to me before was breathtaking, but that was only a taste, I'm thinking."

"Damnation. You tempt me beyond reason," he said through clenched teeth.

"Good." She smiled, reached down and tugged his kilt upward.

He caught her hand, holding it in his, then kissed her lips again. Afterward, she was dizzy.

"Wait here," he said, prying her fingers off his kilt. His footsteps crossed the room and a lock clicked. "We don't want any interruptions."

"I agree."

When he returned, he urged her to lie back.

"What are you doing? Will we couple on this table?"

He chuckled. "You are too curious by far."

He pushed her skirts upward, past her knees and her thighs. The heat of embarrassment consumed her face while a different sort of wicked heat flamed over her body. His warm hands on her thighs, spreading them, felt positively sinful. She did not know what he was about, but she hoped he would teach her what it meant to be a woman, full grown.

Her most sensual parts were exposed to him, although she had no inkling how much light was in this room or what he might see. Before she could worry over it, something touched her delicate flesh. His mouth?

"Good heavens! Colin?"

"Shh." He blew his hot breath upon her. Then he treated her like a sweet comfit, licking and suckling on some highly sensitive place she had no name for. The sensations were extreme and exquisite, making her mad with wanting something only he could give her.

"Colin!"

"You must be quiet, or I'll be forced to stop."

She bit her lip. Though what he was doing was scandalous, she never wanted him to stop. Never! 'Twas the best thing she had ever felt. He continued with the delicious torment while she twisted, squirmed and tugged at his doublet sleeves.

She felt herself being drawn upward toward the peak of this intensity. The white-hot desire exploded, and she screamed a second before she felt Colin's hand over her mouth. Quiet, she remembered, turning her shouts to low moans.

Before she could recover, Colin dragged her up and wrapped her arms around his neck. She gasped for breath, trying to regain her wits. The first thing she realized was that he hadn't taken her. He had only teased and tormented her.

"I want more, Colin."

"Are you certain?"

"Aye. Of course. Please. How many times must I ask?"

"No more." He bestowed a deep, ravishing kiss on her such as he'd not yet given her.

His hands behind her bent knees, he dragged her to the edge of the table, spreading her legs wider. She heard the rustle of his clothing and sporran.

"You can tell me to stop, if you wish it."

"Nay."

"I must warn you, it might be painful the first time."

"I ken it. Anna told me."

"If you will relax and be patient, the pleasure will come after that."

She could scarce breathe for the mixture of trepidation and anticipation. "I'm ready." She wanted to get the hard part over with.

Something gently touched her tender flesh, which he had licked and teased beyond endurance. He stroked through the moisture and prodded against her. She ached with the heated arousal.

"Aye," she breathed, fisting her hands in his hair.

Before she could worry more about the pain, he dragged her hips toward him and surged forward, breaching her like a battering-ram. The stabbing pain shocked her and she cried out. He covered her mouth with his and held still.

"Kristina? I'm sorry. I would never want to hurt you," he breathed against her mouth. "Are you well?"

"Aye." She was, wasn't she? Or at least she would be once the painful part was over. She could endure it; she'd endured far worse pain in the past.

"Try to relax, love," he rasped as if barely able to control himself.

"I am. And I'm ready for the pleasure." She wanted this passion with him, for she might never experience it again.

"I will endeavor to give you every ounce of pleasure possible." The smile was evident in his voice. "But you must be patient."

She nodded.

He withdrew and pressed forward again, into her. During the stabbing pain, she forced herself to remain silent, biting her lip, hoping the stinging would diminish. She was surprised when he placed his hands beneath her hips, lifted her into his arms and drove deeper. Then paused again.

"That's it, mo chridhe. Relax."

Suddenly, she realized the pleasure was increasing, while the pain was decreasing. "Aye, more."

He kissed her lips, sliding his tongue into her mouth. His movements quickened, and with each thrust, the pleasure climbed.

"Oh, Colin." Her breath caught. She had never imagined this feeling. Fulfilled aching pleasure, rising higher with each moment. Sliding, plunging deeper. "Aye."

He growled a curse. The profound passion latched onto her again, and she felt as if her mind flew toward the moon. Colin shook against her, grinding himself deeper, and heat flooded her.

Her face pressed to his, they gasped for breath. Good heavens! What an astounding sensation. It did not seem real or possible.

Withdrawing, he kissed her cheek. "Did I hurt you?"

"Nay. No more than I asked for, at any rate. 'Twas amazing!"

"So you are hurt?" He adjusted her clothing back into place.

"Only a wee bit tender." She smiled, for the pleasure had blotted out the pain.

Loud revelers passed the door outside, making Kristina jump. Thankfully, they did not try to enter the room, and their talk and laughter faded. Though the music and dancing from the great hall was still boisterous.

"I'd best take you up the back stairs to your chamber," Colin said.

"Aye."

After opening the door and checking the hallway, he returned and picked her up. "The steps are uneven. Hold on and I'll carry you."

She nodded, slipping her arms around his shoulders.

His hands at her back and under her knees, he moved quickly up the stairs. His thighs must indeed be strong. She hoped they didn't meet any servants or clan members. She did not want to be the gossip of the castle.

In the upper corridor, he quickly but quietly walked along, carrying her.

"What are you about, Colin Cameron?" asked a deep voice to their left.

Kristina's heart felt as if it vaulted into her throat.