I feel so guilty dropping Ryan off at daycare, but I have no other choice. It’s the best place I can afford, but I have to work at the end of the day, so I’m forced to part with Ryan just when I’m starting to feel a real connection forming with him.

It’s slow going at first. After that run in with Enzo, and that strange, handsome man that showed up out of nowhere, things calmed down. I don’t hear from the Gallo family, and that guy doesn’t appear again.

Although I’m not sure I’d mind if he did show up at my door. I was nervous that first time, but the more I think about him, the more I’m curious. He was handsome, hell, he was gorgeous, exactly the kind of guy I’ve always wanted. But the things he said really freaked me out.

What if it’s true? I don’t know who Ryan’s father is, and Harper wouldn’t say anything about him. I got the feeling that he was just another junky loser she knew and didn’t want her son to have anything to do with, but what if that’s wrong? The more I think about it, the more I can see Ryan’s resemblance to that guy.

I try not to obsess though. I let it slip my mind as the day to day grind of taking care of Ryan consumes my life. It’s impossible at first, but somehow I manage to get him into a routine, get him comfortable with his new life. I even get him to say a few words, which feels like a miracle when it happens, but he’s a smart boy. He’s adorable and he seems really kind and caring.

I can’t imagine what all he’s been through, so I don’t push him. If he doesn’t want to talk, I don’t make him talk. I know eventually I’ll have to take him to a child psychologist, but right now, I’m letting him settle in.

I get a month off from work. That’s generous as hell, considering the situation. I use that month to bond with Ryan the best I can, to get used to having him around, and to try to make myself feel like a mother.

I don’t feel like a mother, though. I really don’t. At least, not until I drop him off, and I see the sad, resigned look on his face. It breaks my heart and suddenly I know I’d do anything for this little boy, which surprises me. It’s almost too intense to believe.

I manage to walk away though and head into work. I fall back into that routine, although the look on Ryan’s face never leaves me. It’s haunting and sad, but it also makes me feel a little bit better. It means he didn’t want to leave me, either. It means maybe he’s starting to bond with me too.

I know I’ll never be his real mother. I’ll never be Harper for him. But I hope one day he’ll care about me the same way that I’m starting to really care about him.

Work drags on, almost like nothing changed since I last left it a month ago. I have the same old problems, although they’re all new faces. Being a nurse is difficult and thankless, but at least my shifts are all going to be pretty decent now that I have Ryan. No more overnight slog-fests for me, which I guess is one thing I can be thankful for.

I manage to get through the day relatively unscathed. I’m pretty exhausted when I leave, but I know I don’t have time to be tired. The selfish, old part of me resents Ryan in this moment, and I quickly hide myself as I pull into the parking lot of the daycare. I glide my car into an empty spot and look into my rearview mirror, my own eyes reflected back at me.

“You’re a mother now,” I say. “You don’t have time for self-pity or weakness.”

I take a deep breath and let it out. The old me would be angry that I have to do something after work. The old me would want to go right home, collapse onto the couch, and stare dumbly at the television for at least an hour or two before I could bring myself to get something to eat. The old me was lazy, but I’m not that anymore.

I’m a mother now and I better start acting like it.

As I look away from the rearview mirror, I notice something move toward the back of my car. I open my door and start as a person steps toward me.

“What the fuck?” I say, shocked.

“Sorry.” His response is earnest and he steps further away from the car. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

I step out, feeling slightly embarrassed. I assume it’s the person coming for the car next to mine, but when I get a look at him, my heart stops.

It’s the guy, the one that claims to be Ryan’s father.

I stare at him, my mouth hanging open. He’s taller than I remembered, with broad shoulders, dark hair, and startling light eyes. His smirk itches something deep inside my gut, some mix of intense, animal lust and revulsion for how cocky he is. I want to reach out and slap him, but I also want him to reach out and slap me back. It’s a little confusing and weird.

“Sorry,” he says again. “I know this is…”

“Are you following me?” I ask him.

He shakes his head, pauses, and then sighs. “Yeah.”

“What the hell?” I back away from him, a sudden stab of fear jolting through me.

“It’s not like that,” he says, holding up his hands. “Please, just listen.”

“You’re the guy from a month ago. Look, I don’t know where Ryan is, so don’t bother, okay?”

He gives me a little smile. “That’s not true.”

I stare back at him, not willing to give an inch.

He grins even more. “Okay, listen. What I told you is true. I am Ryan’s father. Harper and I were together for a while, but she disappeared and stole my baby away from me just a few months after he was born. I’ve been looking for him for years now, and I only found him because of that obituary.”

I bite my lip, watching him. It’s totally plausible. Harper went off the map for a while there, not even on social media or anything like that. Then again, I don’t recognize this guy from any of her posts from back when she was pregnant, so I don’t know if I can believe this story.

“What do you want from me?” I ask him.

“I want to see my son.”

I stare, my fear slowly being replaced with anger. I’m only just becoming attached to this boy, starting to think of him as my own son, starting to bond with him. And this strange guy thinks he can just show up and steal him?

I can’t be sure he’s not working with the Gallo family. He did mention Enzo’s name when I first met him, and this could all be some elaborate bullshit cooked up by their twisted mafia to steal Ryan away from me. I know they want him, and I know they’ll do anything to get him.

“He’s not your son,” I say. “Now please, leave before I call the cops.”

His smile falters. “Leah, listen. I’m not lying to you.”

“Yeah?” I ask him. “Prove that he’s your son.”

He nods and pull out his phone. He shows me a picture of an infant, clearly a newborn. It’s a selfie, his smiling face in the frame, and…. The baby could be Ryan, but it’s really impossible to say for sure.

“That doesn’t prove anything,” I say to him.

He frowns, flips to a new picture. Same baby, a little bit older, although he’s not in the frame this time.

I shake my head and step away. “Look, I don’t know you, okay? And honestly, I don’t trust you.”

He nods a little. “I don’t blame you.” He puts his phone away. “How is he?”

I hesitate. “He’s okay,” I say. “He’s a quiet boy. But he’s good.”

He smiles at that and nods. “Okay. Good. I just… please, can you let me see him? What’s the harm in that?”

“I don’t know you,” I repeat, “and Harper’s psycho family is trying to… well, they’re psychos, so let’s leave it at that.’

He narrows his eyes. “Trying to do what, exactly?”

I shake my head, take a deep breath, and brush past him. I expect him to grab my wrist, and I’m all ready to scream, but he doesn’t touch me. Instead, he follows in step with me.

“Just go away, okay? Seriously, I’m going to call the cops.”

“Just tell me what Harper’s family wants,” he says. “I know what they are.”

I glance at him. “You can probably guess.”

“Honestly, I have no clue what they’d want with a little kid.”

I clench my jaw. “They’re a crime family. They want to keep it all in the family.”

I watch realization dawn. “They… want him? To raise him in the family?”

“Bingo,” I say. He looks genuinely shocked, but I don’t trust it. I don’t know if it’s real or if he’s just an actor, and if he was hired by the Gallos, he’s probably the best at whatever it is he does. Steal children, I guess.

“Look, seriously, I didn’t know anything about that until right now.”

“I guess you better back off then. Don’t want to piss off the Gallo family.”

“Fuck them,” he says, and his tone surprises me.

I stop walking and look at him. “Are you stupid?”

“Yeah,” he says, his eyes intense. “I am pretty fucking stupid.”

I stand there and for a second, I want to reach out and touch his handsome face. I can see real anger and rage in his eyes, but it’s not directed toward me. He’s so angry with the Gallos that it honestly surprises me. He could still be working for them, but this…

I shake my head. “Look, I don’t know if I trust you, okay?” He goes to say something, but I talk over him. “But I’m willing to hear your story. Meet me at the Continental on Second and Walnut tomorrow at noon, okay? I’ll go there for lunch, and we can talk.”

He nods and stops following me, which makes me feel a lot better. I reach the front door and turn back to look at him.

“I’ll see you there, Leah,” he says.

“What’s your name again?” I ask.

“Connor.” He grins. “It’s nice to meet you. Harper said good things.”

“Yeah, I bet. Don’t be out here when I leave, okay?”

“Okay,” he says.

“Seriously.”

“I know.” His grins get bigger. “You’ll call the cops.”

“Damn right.” I can’t help but smile a little bit.

“See you tomorrow.” He nods and turns, walking away.

I watch him go for a second. There’s something about him that I can’t really place. His story seems plausible, but how did he get my address to begin with? Did Enzo give it to him? What’s his relationship to the Gallo family if he’s not working with them?

I have a million questions about this guy, but I can’t afford to get distracted. I have to pick up Ryan, make the two of us dinner, and try to get him to bed on time. I’m not really done working. Actually, I’ll never really be done working again, but that’s okay.

I’m this little boy’s mother now, and I need to be careful. I can’t just give in to every single incredibly handsome man that shows up to pretend to be Ryan’s father. Maybe Connor is who he says he is, but I’m going to need some proof before I actually let my son anywhere near that guy.

I head inside, trying to put it out of my mind, ready to be a mother again.