Richie never texted Bryce back, and really, that answered Bryce’s question. There was no point. No doubt, Richie was horny. Bryce was convenient. Well, fuck him. Bryce didn’t intend to be convenient for anyone. He’d almost chosen to drive today, hoping to avoid seeing Richie again. The extra money, time, and hassle it took to drive each day almost outweighed the bullshit of being on the train with Richie. In the end, Bryce chose to ignore him. He knew he could do it. After all, he’d been pretending he didn’t feel Richie’s stare for the past six months. Today would be no different. Plus, it was only temporary. Soon, he’d have his own office set up, and he’d never see Richie again. Without thought, Bryce rubbed his chest. Emptiness gnawed at him.

Bryce stared at his folded newspaper, seeing nothing. Most people read their news on their phones. Bryce still preferred a real paper. Plus, it gave him something to focus on other than the sensation of Richie’s stare stroking his skin. An unexpected smile touched his lips. It had always been the same back when they lived together. Bryce would feel Richie watching him from across the kitchen table in the mornings. Sometimes, he deliberately stoked the man’s interest, teasing him. Their morning coffee separated them. Time slipped away...

“Goddamn, you’re sexy.”

Bryce forcibly rearranged his features, hiding his smile before dropping the paper and meeting Richie’s gaze. “What?”

Richie leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. His heated gaze slid down Bryce’s body. “You know what you’re doing, sitting there shirtless and chewing your bottom lip. I think you’re asking for it.”

Bryce’s dick stirred. His thin pajama pants offered him no protection. All Richie needed to do was look, and he’d see how badly Bryce wanted him. “Asking for what? I’m just doing the crossword and minding my business.”

“Uh-huh,” Richie hummed. His disbelief coated the air.

Bryce fought his smile. “What?”

Richie shifted to his feet. “If you’re not after anything, then you won’t care if I take Beau for a walk.”

“Why would I care?” Bryce asked, keeping his gaze averted and his tone bland. “I’ll just be here. Alone. Doing whatever.” He emphasized each word, infusing as much heat as possible in his tone, leaving no doubt his hand would be on his hard dick if left alone.

“Tease,” Richie growled. That was all the warning Bryce got before he was face down, bent over the table with Richie’s cock filling his ass. They’d always been explosive together. Bryce rarely knew how he ended up getting fucked. All he knew was Richie filled his life with so much happiness, Bryce could barely breathe from the emotions choking him. Sometimes, he feared it was all a dream.

It had been, and waking from the illusion Richie painted him had been a nightmare that still wouldn’t end.

“Amends.”

Bryce’s heart slammed against the wall of his chest as Richie appeared from nowhere and spoke against his ear. Without thought, he turned his head. Their gazes met. The light hit the man’s sexy brown eyes at just the right angle, showing off their many facets. A smile touched Bryce’s lips without his permission. “What?”

Richie winked. Bryce’s heart fluttered, skipping a beat at the sight. “A six-letter word for fixing things—amends.” Bryce didn’t ask how Richie had known he was looking at the crosswords. Not that Richie gave him time. “As in, I’m really sorry I ruined dinner the other night. Would you let me make it up to you tonight?”

“No, thank you,” Bryce said, going back to staring at his puzzle.

“I could cook this time.”

Fuck. He loved Richie’s cooking.

“Tilapia,” Richie said, sweetening the deal.

Goddamn it. That was his favorite.

Richie didn’t let up. “You could spend some quality time with Beau while I take care of everything.”

Shit. The man knew his stuff. Bryce had missed Beau twice as hard since seeing him the other night. Bryce cleared his throat. He didn’t know how to give in gracefully. “Do you need me to bring anything?” He didn’t look Richie’s way. Bryce couldn’t see the man’s triumph. All Bryce felt was defeated. It seemed he would never stop letting Richie wreck him. It was like he was stuck in a time loop, repeatedly reliving the days when Richie broke his heart.

“Just show up.” Richie’s sad tone had Bryce turning his head. There wasn’t a hint of elation in Richie’s expression. “I just need you to show up,” Richie repeated, making Bryce wonder if the words had a double meaning. The psychologist in him couldn’t stop reading into everything. If Richie needed Bryce to keep beating himself against the rocks to save him, he’d come to the right place. If he’d asked sooner, Bryce would’ve dogged the man’s heels every day, invading the man’s space, until Richie was whole.

“Tell me a time. I’ll be there.”

Richie’s gaze moved over his face, searching. “Eight.”

“I’ll be there,” Bryce repeated, hoping Richie caught his double meaning as well. As long as Richie needed him, Bryce would come, and that said all Bryce needed to know about how fucked up he was. He loved Richie and always would. If he didn’t run soon, he’d let this man destroy him—over and over again until the end of time. If Richie needed and loved him for who he was, Bryce would never quit him.

* * *

The two hours between work and Bryce’s arrival for dinner were hell. Richie knew what needed to be done. He hoped he didn’t lack the courage. He’d spent the whole night awake after having lunch with Darrel, thinking about the man’s advice. His friend was right. Bryce’s brilliant mind and caring heart were a huge part of why Richie loved him. If Bryce had stopped trying to save Richie, it wouldn’t have stopped Richie from leaving. In fact, he might have left sooner. Together or not, Bryce saved him. Every day Bryce woke up, existing somewhere in the world, he gave Richie a reason to keep going. As long as Bryce was out there, there was hope.

When Bryce finally knocked on the door, Richie had to stop himself from running to answer. If he couldn’t control his excitement over knowing Bryce was there, he had no clue how he ever thought he could live without the man forever. Bryce still wore his work clothes. The dark suit made Bryce’s light eyes seem lighter. His green tie made them pop. Fuck. He was so goddamn beautiful.

“Sorry,” Bryce said, sounding apologetic as he took off his jacket. “I had some business after work and didn’t have time to change.”

“It’s fine.” Richie stole his chance to kiss Bryce’s cheek before he could get away. “I’ll take you any way I can get you. Plus, you’re sexy as hell in your work clothes,” he said, heading for the kitchen. “And out of them,” he added under his breath. A low chuckle followed him, letting Richie know Bryce heard. Beau wasn’t going insane, as he had the other night, but he was walking at Bryce’s side, attached to his leg.

Bryce sat down at the kitchen table when Richie moved to the stove. Even with his back to Bryce, Richie knew every move Bryce made. Beau shoved his head in Bryce’s lap, begging for all Bryce’s attention. While Bryce loved on him, Beau whined nonstop in husky-speak. No doubt, he complained about everything Richie did—like not letting him sleep on the bed or drink from the toilet. Bryce made noises in all the right places, sympathizing with the dog’s complaints.

“I told you he misses you,” Richie said over his shoulder. “He’s not the only one,” he added as he fixed their plates.

Bryce moved to the sink and washed his hands. “This hasn’t been easy for anyone.”

Richie set their plates aside and crowded Bryce against the counter. He didn’t let his hips touch Bryce’s ass. That wouldn’t be fair, but he did brush his lips across the man’s nape before quickly backing away. Tonight wasn’t about seduction. Not really. They needed to talk. Bryce made it damn hard for Richie to keep his hands to himself.

“Do you need my help with anything?” Bryce’s voice sounded strained, but he kept his gaze locked on drying his hands.

Richie nodded toward the table. “Just go sit down. I’ve got this.”

Bryce sat.

Beau settled between the man’s feet.

Richie set a plate in front of him before claiming the chair across from him. “I hope everything is okay. To be honest, I don’t cook that often any longer.”

“It smells amazing. Thank you.” Bryce took a bite. “Oh my god,” Bryce said around his bite, looking orgasmic. “So good.”

Richie watched him eat. Everything Bryce did was sexy. The way his jaw moved fascinated Richie. He loved every nuance of Bryce. He waited, not touching his food until Bryce was almost finished to strike. It took him that long to work up his nerve.

“I left you because I planned to kill myself and I didn’t want you to have to deal with it.”

Bryce froze.

Richie didn’t stop, because there was no going back now. “I love you. Never stopped, but I convinced myself you were better off without me. I didn’t come home the same. Every day I tried to be normal for you, and each day I failed until I knew I should stop waking up and let you be free of me.”

The degree was gone. Bryce visibly struggled to rearrange his features, hiding his shock and hurt. He cleared his throat. “Um. What changed your mind?”

Richie’s eyes fell closed for a moment. As much as he’d tried to prepare for this conversation, remembering those first days hurt. “I had to wait. If I died right away, you’d still be hurt. Then, I started back to work and spotted you on the train. You looked every bit as wrecked as I felt, so I watched and waited. I thought, I’ll wait until I see him smile and mean it, then I’m done. So, every day I stared at you, watching. Then, one day I realized I wasn’t looking at you any longer, hoping you’d smile. I was staring at you, hoping you’d look my way. Dr. Lowe said you gave me hope for the future. When he said that, I realized, it’s always been you. When I was in hell, you were there. I thought of you every second and fought to stay alive so I could get back to you. Nothing has changed. Leaving didn’t steal your power over me. You’re still the reason I fight. It’s not easy, Bry.” Richie’s throat swelled, cutting off his words. He swallowed and tried again because Bryce still hung on every word. “This loss of normalcy and mental peace, it’s fucking destroyed me, but losing you has decimated what little I had left when I came home. But I had to leave you to find my way back.”

Bryce stood and carried his plate to the sink. Beau followed. Once there, Bryce didn’t move. He stared out the tiny window above the sink. Richie knew it was too dark for the man to see a thing other than what was inside his head. His insides shook, waiting for Bryce to speak. Bryce pushed away from the sink and wrapped his arms around Richie’s shoulders from behind. With his face buried against Richie’s neck, Bryce spoke as if fighting back tears. “I know you don’t feel it and there’s nothing I can say to change your mind, but you haven’t told me anything you couldn’t have said to me at any time. For what’s it worth, I love you. I didn’t mean what I said the other night.” After pressing a kiss to Richie’s neck, Bryce headed for the door, as if he meant to leave. Richie shot to his feet.

With no real plan in mind, Richie sprang. He snagged Bryce’s arm before the man could get away. With a tug, he had Bryce in his arms. His mouth hit Bryce’s with enough force their teeth bumped. Heat mixed with Richie’s fear, creating a volatile mix. He loved Bryce and missed him. Richie knew it was all his fault. He knew he’d shut Bryce out and slowly choked the life from his love. Richie couldn’t pretend he wasn’t to blame for everything. He’d thrown away a good man. Bryce kissed him back every bit as desperately. They were perfect together.

“I miss you,” Richie said before going deep and doing his damnedest to lick the roof of Bryce’s mouth. “I’m so fucking sorry. For everything. Goddamn. I miss everything about you,” he admitted as he grabbed two handfuls of Bryce’s ass and hauled the man against him. Bryce was hard for him. Their erections bumped. Bryce pulled Richie’s shirt up and over his head before kissing Richie back every bit as fiercely. No one understood how much he’d missed Bryce’s kisses. Of all the hundreds of reasons Richie thought he might be truly insane, this was the biggest one—losing Bryce. Losing him had been the hardest experience of Richie’s life. It wasn’t the drug kings or the months he spent trapped. Being without Bryce topped all other pain.

Bryce unbuttoned his shirt and tried pulling his tie over his head. Richie tried to help, but he couldn’t give up Bryce’s mouth for long. “I really fucking need you.” Richie had always had a problem keeping his mouth shut when he was turned on. “I want you straddling my face and my dick.”

Bryce unbuckled his belt while kissing Richie’s jaw. “Pick one. I can’t do both at the same time.”

“Face first,” Richie said, helping Bryce out of his clothes before taking him to the floor. Beau tried shoving his way between them, obviously thinking it was time to play. “Okay, this won’t work. Come on,” he said, rolling back to his feet and grabbing Bryce’s hand. He headed for the bedroom. Richie locked Beau out, and then he took the opportunity to strip off the rest of his clothes. “On the bed.”

Bryce did as ordered. His flushed face and swollen lips held Richie prisoner. He needed to keep Bryce right where he was, willing to do anything for the pleasure Richie offered. Damn, his man was beautiful and Richie would never stop thinking of Bryce as his. Bryce had a runner’s body—tight and perfect. Richie needed to lick it.

“Damn, you’re so fucking amazing.”

He crawled onto the bed and dragged his tongue from Bryce’s hip to his nipple. Richie paused to nip at the pink bud. He heard the breath catch at the back of Bryce’s throat. An evil smile tugged at Richie’s lips. His cock ached. Richie palmed his erection, stroking once and hoping to ease some of the building pressure. Nothing mattered as much as pleasing this man who watched him with lust in his eyes. Richie knew every inch of Bryce’s body and exactly how to make him scream. He hovered above Bryce, dragging out the anticipation before brushing his lips against Bryce’s in the lightest kiss. He couldn’t give Bryce satisfaction. Not yet. The man’s lust was the only thing keeping him there. Richie didn’t fool himself by thinking otherwise. Bryce was still upset with Richie for shutting him out. Richie would fix everything. He kissed the man’s chin and then his Adam’s apple, making his way down Bryce’s body. He couldn’t undo the past. Richie wasn’t healed. Bryce didn’t deserve his bullshit. None of that changed a damn thing. Richie loved Bryce. He hated being without him. If Bryce would take him—broken or not, as he claimed, Richie wanted him to. Richie shifted lower, tonguing the spot beneath Bryce’s breastbone. Bryce’s fingers found Richie’s hair. He held on.

“That’s it, sexy. Take what you want,” Richie urged, moving lower.

Bryce’s ragged breaths sounded loud in the otherwise silent room. “Stop teasing,” Bryce begged.

Richie didn’t let up. “Demand what you need.”

Bryce’s hold tightened on Richie’s hair. “I can already feel your hot mouth on my dick. Let me have it.”

A roar of satisfaction rang through Richie’s mind as he gave in and opened his mouth over Bryce’s cock. This wasn’t about control or having his way. He’d needed Bryce’s verbal admission of wanting him. Richie teased the sensitive nerve endings in Bryce’s crown before taking the man down his throat. He hollowed out his cheeks and sucked, reveling in the sounds Bryce made. Bryce’s hips left the bed. Richie let the man fuck his willing mouth. Pre-cum coated his tongue. A moan escaped Richie at Bryce’s flavor—salt and man. Damn, he was delicious. Richie’s dick leaked. Desire ruled him. He didn’t care about anything except making Bryce come so he could get inside him. Richie moved lower, fisting Bryce’s cock while licking the man’s balls. He urged Bryce’s thighs farther apart, making room for him to tongue the man’s asshole. Bryce writhed beneath him, making sounds that drove Richie insane.

“I want you inside me.”

Bryce’s confession snapped Richie’s control. He flew to his knees and dove for the bedside table, coming out with a condom and lube. In a matter of seconds, he was suited up and had two oiled fingers inside Bryce’s ass. Richie stared down at Bryce. The man’s unfocused gaze and parted lips painted the sexiest picture Richie had ever seen. His stomach muscles clenched with his need to take Bryce—hard.

“Please?”

Richie broke at Bryce’s plea. He captured the man’s lips as he shoved his way inside. Once fully seated, Richie froze. Bryce was too perfect—tight and hot. Richie was already on edge. Love and lust swirled inside him, making Richie half crazed with need. Bryce had to come first. It was a matter of pride. Richie tried slowing things down. Their kiss softened. Richie rocked against him. Bryce moaned. The sound vibrated through their kiss, threatening Richie’s sanity. Reaching between them, Richie stroked Bryce’s cock, keeping time as he pumped inside the man’s ass. Bryce tore his mouth away and sucked air. Richie increased his pace. Bryce’s muscles tensed. The air left Richie’s lungs. He focused on the pressure tightening his balls and climbing up his dick. He was so close. Ecstasy was just out of reach. Bryce’s body jerked. Hot cum filled the space between them. Spasms milked Richie’s cock. With his eyes squeezed shut and his forehead pressed to Bryce’s shoulder, Richie let the sensations push him over the edge. An orgasm tore through him, ripping a cry from his throat. Lights popped behind his closed lids. Rambled words escaped him, forgotten as quickly as they were spoken. Richie might’ve begged Bryce to take him back and confessed the love that choked him every second of the day, but he couldn’t stop. No one rocked him to his core the way Bryce did.

Collapsing, Richie squashed the mess between them, uncaring. He hoped they stuck together and Bryce could never leave. Their lips brushed. The sweetness of their kiss brought tears to his eyes. Richie couldn’t go back to waking up without this man who owned him in every way.

“I love you, Bry. Stay,” he begged before reclaiming Bryce’s mouth and stealing the man’s chance to shut him down. If Bryce didn’t love him anymore, Richie couldn’t hear the words. If this had been nothing more than sex to Bryce, Richie’s heart couldn’t take knowing just yet. He needed to steal more kisses, touches, and minutes. The morning would come soon enough. It always did. If Bryce was done, he’d deal with it then.