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Breathe Into Me by Stone, Amanda (1)

 

I couldn't believe it. Here I was, standing outside the dorm room I'd be living in with my best friend, Jessi. I took a deep breath as I stared at the grain in the wooden door that held the room I would call home for the next ten months. Looking back six years ago, I never thought I'd make it to this point, but I was ready to begin my new chapter.

Balancing the box that held the last of my belongings on my hip, I slowly turned the brass colored knob and made my way into the room. Setting the box on the bed, I took a minute to take in my new surroundings. The room was larger than you would expect for a dorm. We each had our own twin-size bed and desk sitting straight across from one another. The closets were a fairly decent size and I could detect a light scent of fresh paint, as though they had just finished painting the pale yellow walls.

There was a closed door to my left that I knew led into the adjoining bathroom. I wasn’t too keen on the idea of having to shower in a room full of strangers, so the fact that this dorm had adjoining bathrooms—instead of a community bathroom—was already a big plus on my list. The first being that Jessi and I were actually able to room together. I don’t think I could have handled living with a complete stranger for almost an entire year either … I was seriously lacking in the people skills department these days.

Walking over to my bed, I sat down and smiled when the sun coming through the window reflected on the silver bracelet on my slender wrist. Out of habit I flipped through the tiny charms, each one holding a special meaning. I hadn’t taken this bracelet off in six years. It was the only thing I had left of her. I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of how proud she would be of me at this moment. Making it to college—doing something that she had not been able to do herself.

Over the past six years I had changed from the carefree, outgoing girl I had once been, to being a shell of my former self. While I missed that part of me and wished I could get her back, I couldn’t help but think she was gone forever. That girl had been stolen from me.

Jessi never gave up hope that I would find my way back to the person I used to be. She was constantly dragging me around with her to a few parties and get-togethers with the people I used to call my friends. But I could always tell the atmosphere would change the minute I stepped into the room. No one knew how to act around me anymore. Jess always tried to tell me it was in my head, but I knew the truth. They all felt sorry for me.

The door to the room flew open and connected with the wall with a loud bang causing the room to slightly vibrate and pulling me from my thoughts. I turned to find Jessi’s back standing in the doorway, her tiny frame trying it’s best to drag one of the four hot pink suitcases she had packed full of God knows what through the door.

“Little help here?” she grunted as she tugged on the suitcase, which must have been hung up on something because even with all her efforts the heavy case didn’t budge.

“I told you not to bring all that crap,” I huffed as I got up from my bed. “Where are you even going to put it all?”

Blowing a piece of her strawberry blonde hair from her forehead, she glared at me. “In your closet … duh. I saw how much you packed up and believe me girl; you’re going to be thanking me for being overly accessorized,” she finished with a wink.

I wrapped my hand around the handle next to hers and pulled. With both of us pulling, the case finally hopped over the small piece of trim that separated the tile floor in the hallway from the hardwood in our dorm allowing Jessi to continue to roll it into the room.

I rolled my eyes and went about unpacking my things. She was kind of right, I didn’t bring much, but, really, what would I need? I was here thanks to a couple scholarships, which meant I would need to buckle down and make sure I studied hard. Studying attire didn’t really consist of more than an old comfy hoodie and sweat pants if you ask me.

“Hey, after we get all this stuff put away you wanna go get a bite to eat? I’m starving,” Jess grunted as she tried forcing a tote that was completely full of shoes under her bed.

Knowing it would be months before we could eat at our favorite hometown pizza place again, we’d stopped to enjoy it one last time before heading out of town. And other than a quick potty break, we didn’t stop again on our five-hour drive here. With Jessi mentioning food, and it being hours since I’d last eaten, my stomach decided to growl so loud that I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole dorm heard it.

“I’ll take that as a yes?” She raised her eyebrow at me and laughed.

I nodded. If I didn’t get something to eat soon I would probably be tempted to eat the umpteen amounts of flavored lip gloss I knew Jessi was packing somewhere in this disaster of a mess we … I mean she created.

I walked across the room and grabbed one of her totes, sending up a silent prayer this one would not hold the lip gloss I was just thinking about. Even though piña colada flavored gloss was extremely tasty, I was quite positive that it was not meant to be digested.

“Let me help you or I’ll die of starvation before you get all your stuff away.”

Not knowing where the local hotspots were, we decided to try a café we’d passed on our drive in. It was just around the corner from campus and the weather was perfect for the short walk.

“Mmm, mmm. Oh God. Is your sandwich as good as mine? Or am I just that hungry?”

Looking around, I found Jessi’s sandwich moans had earned us a few pleased looks from a table of guys sitting across the café.

Leaning in across our table I whispered, “Could you please keep your sandwich orgasms down to a minimum? You’re giving that table over there a free show.” I slightly nodded my head in the direction of the delighted audience still staring at us.

Having no shame, Jessi spun all the way around in her chair and stared straight at a table of decent looking guys sitting across the café and winked.

“Gah, Jess? Really?”

“What? The one in the blue is super cute.” She shrugged and turned back to face me again, popping a potato chip into in her mouth.

Glancing back to the table I could see the one in the blue was actually quite attractive with his dirty blond hair styled to look like he had just crawled out bed. His blue shirt was a perfect match to his eyes, eyes that were currently starting straight at the back of Jessi’s head.

I slightly raised my chin in his direction and lowered my voice, “Well, I think you made a fan over there. He hasn’t stopped looking at you.”

Jessi glanced over her shoulder. She and Mr. Blue Shirt exchanged smiles before she suddenly stood and made her way toward him. This didn’t surprise me at all. Jessi has never had a shy bone in her body. We used to be alike in that aspect, but my past had changed me so much. It was hard to be around people after the incident, with all their stares and whispers. I began to seclude myself and everyone found that to be just fine. No one went out of their way to talk to me and I pretty much kept to myself, with the exception of Jessi. But finally being here at college, hundreds of miles away from that place and all its history, maybe there was hope that I would be able to find my way back to the person I used to be.

While Jessi flirted, I plucked at the label on my water bottle until I heard the door chime signaling someone had come in. Out of habit, I look up to see a nice set of broad shoulders in a tight black t-shirt. My eyes slowly slid down his body to his muscular arms—arms that were covered from his wrist up, disappearing under his shirt, in tattoos. I’d never really given much thought to tattoos before, but here in this moment … I couldn’t think of anything hotter.

I watched him walk over to the table Jessi’s new friend and the other guys were occupying. Mr. Blue Shirt saw him coming and stood to give him one of those weird guy-handshake-hug things. When he finished greeting the rest of the guys, he grabbed a chair from a nearby table and sat down.

Spinning the black ball cap he was wearing around to the back, the tattooed guy slid his aviators down his nose and our eyes connected for a moment before he continued his conversation with the rest of the table. I hadn’t miss the fact that he had the most blinding set of gray eyes I had ever seen. These weren’t just gray; they were almost silver. It was almost as if they shined. I had never in all my life seen a set of eyes like his. I had been so distracted by his eyes that I didn’t notice Jessi walking back to our table until she started waving her hand in front of my face.

“Earth to Kelsey. You ready to get outta here?”

“Uh—yeah, yeah. I was just waiting on you,” I lied. I was still distracted by those tattoos and eyes.

“Well, come on. Let’s get out of here,” she said, pulling me from my seat and toward the exit. I chanced a glance over my shoulder and found a set of gray eyes watching me as I walked out the door.

We explored the campus the rest of the afternoon and made sure we knew where all our classes were, and the quickest route to the little coffee stands in between each class, before heading back to the dorm. On the walk back, I took in all my new surroundings. The campus really was beautiful. The sidewalks were lined with colorful flowers, and there were sparsely placed trees throughout the courtyard. I found that most of the classes were held in the older buildings while the majority of the dorms were in the newer ones. You could tell they built the newer buildings to match the older ones with their high pillars and light red brick exterior.

I was surprised campus wasn’t all that crowded yet. We had wanted to come as early as possible today and get settled in so we could take the afternoon to explore campus and get a feel for things before classes started on Monday. But with yesterday being the first day students were allowed to move into the dorms, my guess was people would start showing up this afternoon or early tomorrow morning. Jessi’s parent’s anniversary had fallen on the weekend that we were able to move in, and since it was the two of us we figured we could handle the move ourselves. Jessi’s mom, Carol, wasn’t thrilled about missing out on helping us decorate our dorm, but her dad, Jay, had planned a surprise trip for their 25th anniversary months ago and there was no way we were letting them miss it just to help us get settled.

I was glad we had made the decision to come a little earlier so that I had an extra day to get all the books and supplies I might need. My course load was pretty heavy but nothing I couldn’t handle. I knew it was going to be hard and would take a lot of dedication but that’s what I was here for.

When we had fully explored every part of the campus, we headed back to the dorm. The car ride here had been the most uncomfortable five hours of my life due to the fact that I had to scoot my seat up as far to the dash as possible to allow enough room in the back seat for all of Jessi’s crap. So to say I was tired and in need of a catnap was an understatement.

I couldn’t stop yawning while we waited for the elevator. “I think I’m going to crash when we get to the room.” I covered my mouth as yet another yawn escaped me.

“Better make that a power nap. We’re going out tonight,” she replied with a mischievous smile.

“Seriously, Jess? It’s our first night here. Can’t we just have tonight to lie around and be lazy?” I was not feeling like having a night out. Truthfully, all I wanted to do was throw on some sweats and sleep until tomorrow morning.

“Well you see, here’s there thing. You know the hottie from the café? Well, he asked me to meet him at some bar tonight called Shot’s.”

I rolled my eyes. “This involves me how? And why did you wait so long to tell me? You have had all afternoon to let me know that you were planning this bar rendezvous yet you wait until now?”

“I didn’t want to fight about it all afternoon.” She shrugged. “I knew you would be all, ‘No I think I will just stay at the dorm’ and don’t you give me that look! You know it’s the truth!”

She had a point. It would have been a fight all afternoon—her trying to convince me to go, me being stubborn and saying no.

“Please, Kels, please? Do this for me?” she begged.

How could I say no to her? She was my best friend and had been there with me every step of the way through the worst times in my life. Always dropping anything she was doing to make sure she was there for me if I needed her. Going so far as canceling some of her own dates just so I wouldn’t have to sit at home alone, and all she was asking me to do was pull the stick out of my ass and enjoy a night out with her.

“All right, fine. But I still want my nap! You and all your crap had me in the dash for five hours so you owe me that much.”

I wasn’t sure if she even heard the rest of my sentence because as soon as I said fine she squealed and did a little jump right there in the dorm lobby. I held back my laugh at her excitement over this. Was it really that hard to believe I would agree? Had I really became that much of a sour puss?

We stepped inside when the elevator doors finally opened, and Jess pushed the button to our floor. Maybe tonight would be just what I needed. Lord knows I could use some fun in my life.

When we made it back to our dorm room, I rid myself of my jeans and threw on some sweats. I was beyond tired but found that sleep wasn’t coming as easily as I thought it would. My bed with its nice, cool sheets had only brought me back to a cool set of gray eyes. Would I ever be able to forget them? This was all so crazy to me; here I was lying in bed daydreaming about a stranger. How much more stalker could I get? But it was true, those eyes would forever be burned into my brain and I drifted off to sleep still thinking about them.

 

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