Tucker knew what he did was a dick move—leaving Lucas without saying goodbye after they’d spend the night together, but there were things that he needed to take care of. He’d stayed up watching Lucas sleep because his mind and body refused to turn off. He hungered and craved Lucas’ body all night long. He thought about the times he held his wife in his arms to the way he held Lucas and waited for the guilt to wash over him that he was cheating on Rochelle.

He’d finally taken the steps and spent the night with someone since Rochelle. He felt relieved when his world didn’t came crashing down around him the way he expected. He parked in front of his house, turned off his car and sat there for a few seconds, deep in thought, trying to figure out why or how his feelings changed so quickly. He still missed his wife but being with Lucas forced him to deal with things he thought he would never let go of.

Grabbing his bag from the passenger seat, Tucker got out of the car and walked up to his front door. He stood there guarding himself before entering. He was about to put his past behind him. Once inside, he waited for the ghost of his subconscious to appear, and was elated when he was greeted with silence. Closing the door, he dropped his bag down on the sofa. Bypassing the kitchen, he went to the garage and got a couple of empty boxes.

Going back inside the house and taking the stairs two at a time, he walked down the hall and paused in front of the closed door of his daughter’s room. Leaning against the wall, he stared at the closed door, knowing that this was something he had to get over before he could move on with other parts of his life. Or to have a semblance of a relationship with someone new.

 “You can do this,” he said to himself. “You have to do this.”

Pulling himself off the wall, he stepped forward, and with shaky hands, he pushed the door open; he gasped and felt a tightening in his chest similar to the way he felt the day his daughter died. Tears welled in his eyes, and his vision became cloudy. Closing his eyes as the droplets of tears streaked down his cheeks, he took in large gulps of air to stop himself from hyperventilating as he looked around the room.

It looked the same as it did the day Laura died, her bed that sat in the corner of the room with her Barbie bed covers, pictures she colored of unicorns and horses lining her walls. Walking further into the room, he stood in front of her closet dropping the box to his feet before he pulled open the doors, looking at her clothes neatly hung up, and her shoes all perfectly lined up in a row. With shaking hands, he reached forward and grabbed a few of her dresses and threw them into the boxes. With each article of clothing, he put in the boxes the pain in his chest started to ease just a bit but didn’t stop his tears from falling.

Once the closet was empty and the boxes were full, Tucker closed them up, along with the ache in his heart. Being with Lucas the night before helped him to see that he was ready to move on and try again. He pulled out his phone to bring up the one person he wanted to speak with. His thumb hovered over Lucas’ name. He needed to apologize for leaving the way he did, but Tucker felt he needed to be in the right frame of mind, no matter how much he wanted to hear Lucas say he forgave him for his insensitivity. Setting his phone down, he got back to work. He couldn’t talk to Lucas now yet, not until he was able to put his past completely behind him. 

* * *

Lucas woke up for the second time that morning to his doorbell ringing. He sat up and winced at the pain in his lower back. He had woken up a bit early that morning and reached for Tucker only to have his fingers meet cold sheets. He felt sad, and a bit relieved at the same time. He couldn’t help his cheeks from heating up with a blush thinking about the way he acted the night before. He grabbed some sweats and was pulling his shirt over his head when Tyler entered his room. They all had keys to each other’s homes for various reasons.

“Hey, I was wondering why you didn’t answer the door, I didn’t mean to wake you.” He held Zoi, and the instant she saw him, she practically jumped out of Tyler’s arms.

“Yeah, it's fine,” he said as Zoi fell into his arms. “Hey, baby girl, were you good for Uncle Ty and Uncle Ethan?” he asked kissing her on the cheek.

“She was perfect up until it was time for her to go to sleep. She kept asking for Papa. I called Dad and let her talk to him, that seemed to work for a bit, but she went right back to asking for him again.”

Lucas looked at his daughter strangely for a second and wondered if she saw Tucker as her papa. But how? They didn’t spend a lot of time together. “Are you hungry? Where’s Ethan and Rayne?” he asked trying to tamp down what he felt about his daughter seeing something he wasn’t so sure of, considering Tucker left without saying goodbye.

“They are downstairs, and yeah, we could stay for a bit. You must be in a good mood if you're asking if we are hungry.”

“I’m always in a good mood.”

“True, but if you’re offering to make your world-famous omelet, no need to twist my arm. Heck yeah, we will stick around.”

“I wasn’t planning on it, but is there anything else that you want me to make?”

 “Throw in your homemade pancakes too while you're at it.”

“You’re being a bit demanding, aren’t you, little brother?”

 “Hey, you offered.” Tyler smirked.

 “Daddy, I want cheese,” Zoi said to him, giving him her request.

 “What is her fascination with cheese?” Tyler asked.

Lucas shrugged. “It’s not any different than your fascination with everything about Ethan; from his hair to his eyes and every other thing that puts that goofy smile you’re wearing right now on your face.”

Tyler chuckled. “Ethan is quite fascinating.”

 “Oh, brother,” Lucas said.

 “Oh, brother,” Zoi mimicked him right after including rolling her eyes, which was something she learned from Raynebow.

He and Tyler chuckled, then Lucas kissed her on her cheek realizing that one day she wouldn’t be his little girl anymore and he wouldn’t be able to hold her in his arms the way he was now. He looked up expecting to see his brother already making his way downstairs, but Tyler was staring at him.

“What?”

“How was your date?”

 “What date?”

“So that’s how you’re going to play this? You’re not fooling me, big brother, especially the way your pajamas are so rumpled showing that you didn’t sleep alone. Plus, the bite marks on your neck screams you had a good night with whoever he or she was.” Tyler smirked and winked at him. “It's good to have you back, big bro.” He walked out of Lucas’ bedroom before he could say anything.

“Your uncle Tyler is way too hopeful,” he said to his daughter setting her down.

Later that day, Lucas was in his office staring at his computer. He was supposed to be working, but the only thing on his mind was the wonderful night he shared with Tucker. From the theme park to the sex that had his body tingling; every time he thought about it, his cock jerked with interest. He wanted more than one night and was disappointed that Tucker was gone when he woke up the first time.

He was surprised at how disappointed he felt about not waking up in Tucker’s arms. He didn’t mind cooking breakfast for Ethan and Tyler. But he would have rather made breakfast for Tucker. There were so many things he imagined them doing together after the wonderful night they had. Like taking a shower and possibly another round of sex, that time with Lucas topping and watching Tucker come completely undone for him.

He realized he’d practically talked Tucker into fucking him and that probably scared him off, which wasn’t what he wanted. He looked over at his cell phone and willed it to ring; to hear Tucker apologize for leaving him alone, and that he wanted to explore the feelings they had for each other. Because it wasn’t his imagination that he felt a strong connection between him and Tucker. Sighing he leaned back in his chair looking up at the ceiling. He was aware he could call Tucker and say all the things he wanted to hear from the other man, but he was hesitant because he was afraid. For the first time in his adult life, he was scared of being rejected. 

* * *

Lucas leaned back and reached for the toilet paper, wiping his mouth. Standing, he flushed the toilet and walked over to the sink and brushed his teeth for the second time that day. He held on to the sink hoping he didn’t have another dizzy spell. After another minute, he headed into his bedroom and fell on his face on his bed groaning in pain. He’d been sick all week and was waiting for whatever bug he’d caught to go away. He wasn’t keeping anything down and none of the meds the doctor gave him the day before were working.

At first, he thought it was food poisoning, and when it didn’t go away a couple of days later, he knew it was something else. He groaned when he heard his phone ringing. Mustering up some strength, he crawled across his bed and picked it up from his nightstand.

“Hello?”

“Mister Hamilton, this is Evandaz Lewis from Doctor Horgan’s office.”

“Yeah, what can I do for you? Don’t tell me I forgot something while I was there yesterday?”

“Not that I am aware of. I’m calling about your test results.”

After explaining his symptoms to Doctor Horgan, he gave him a full physical which included blood work. “Yeah, what’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing of the sort, sir, Doctor Horgan simply wanted me to let you know that he didn’t find any abnormalities in your blood work and that your morning sickness should pass once you reach your second trimester. You’re perfectly fine, Mister Hamilton.”

Lucas sat up when he heard what the nurse had just said. “Wait, what the fuck did you just say?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you, sir.”

“No, not that part. The part about morning sickness.”

“According to the blood work, you’re completely fine and morning sickness simply is a part of being pregnant.”

“That can’t be right.”

“What’s that, sir?”

“The pregnant part.”

“I can have them run the test again, sir. But the lab results aren’t wrong.”

“Yeah, you do that,” Lucas snapped and hung up the call. He threw his phone on the bed and stared at it as if it was possessed. What the fuck? Pregnant? No, that can’t be right. Make that a big fucking no! I’m not supposed to be able to get pregnant, that’s what the doctors told Mom when I was born. That’s what my parents told me, were they wrong?

He got off the bed and started pacing. He didn’t know how he was supposed to feel. When he and Rebecca found out they were going to have Zoi, he was through the moon with happiness, but now he felt so damn confused. Pregnant, it’s not possible, no matter what the test said. He walked over to his closet and grabbed his sneakers. After putting them on, he went and got Zoi, who was in her playroom; she ran to him the second she saw him.

It’d been a little over a month since the last time he saw Tucker. Each night Zoi asked to speak with Papa. He was convinced that she saw the man as her father and he didn’t know how to take it. He hadn’t spoken or seen Tucker since the night they spent together, and it hurt him more than he thought it should. Grabbing his keys, he got Zoi settled into her car seat and headed to the nearest pharmacy. He needed to see the results for himself.

I can’t be fucking pregnant. I just can’t be.

* * *

Lucas paced back and forth looking at the positive results on all ten pregnancy tests he’d bought that day. With each test, he held out hope that at least one of them would pop up negative.

“I can’t be pregnant.”

He sat at the edge of his bathtub dropping his face in the palms of his hands. This is not happening. He wanted to scream, but then he was worried he'd end up scaring the hell out of his child. He got up when he heard his phone ringing and knew it was the doctor’s office. He recognized the number from earlier.

“Hello?” He cleared his throat, a bit choked up unable to speak fully.

“Mister Hamilton, this is Doctor Horgan.”

“Yeah.”

“I spoke with my nurse today, and he told me you requested that we run a second test on your lab results.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“I had the lab put a rush on the processing, and the result hasn’t changed, Mister Hamilton. I understand this comes as a shock to you, but you are definitely pregnant. There are few ways to correct it, if this was a mistake. The choice is up to you.”

Lucas’ brows creased together, and he pulled the phone from his ear and looked at it with malice as if the doctor could see his face. He would never think about getting rid of his baby. Bringing the phone back to his ear, he responded, “Thank you, I’ll need a copy of my results.”

“Of course, Mister Hamilton, my office will send you the information you need to obtain your results. And let me be the first to say congratulations.”

“Yeah, thanks.” He hung up and sat on his bed, after a dozen positive tests, there was no denying it—he was pregnant.

How the hell am I going to tell Tucker?

* * *

Tucker sat in his car across the Hamilton home, he kept telling himself it was a mistake to be there, but he also wasn’t driving away. He hadn’t seen or spoken to Lucas because of the way he left. I’m such a fucking coward. Get the hell out of the car and face him like a man. He was never good at pep talks when it came to himself, that was always Nick or Rochelle’s job. It seemed Lucas had a way of calling him on his bullshit too, in the little time they’d become friends.

He opened the car door, got out, and walked up to the front door with confidence. He wondered if Lucas would be happy to see him or ignore him completely. His family was inside but the only person he wanted to see was Lucas. He knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer. It was the day of the Hamilton family monthly Sunday dinner, and they were used to anyone showing up at any unannounced time. He entered when no one answered after waiting a few minutes and was greeted with laughter coming from the other room.

“You guys should learn to lock your doors, any riffraff could walk in,” he said walking into the dining room. The room went completely silent, and everyone stared at him as if he was a stranger and maybe in some ways he was. This was the first family dinner he’d been to in a while. He always found an excuse not to attend whenever anyone asked, so they gave up on asking him. “Don’t all speak at once.”

“We are just all shocked to see you,” Stephen said to him.

“You see me every day at work, well, except for the past couple weeks,” he said to his nephew.

“Yeah, about that, you never take a vacation—”

“You can interrogate him at another time,” Marilyn interrupted as she got up from her seat and walked over to him. She kissed him on the cheek. “It’s good to see you, Tucker.”

“You too,” he said to her.

“Are you hungry?” she asked but didn’t wait for him to answer. “Of course, you are, it’s the reason why you came.”

She pulled him over to one of the chairs someone just vacated and placed an empty plate in front of him. He thanked her then looked around the table taking in the various dishes. It was as if they knew he was coming because all of his favorites dishes were on the table: barbecue ribs, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, and baked chicken. He scanned the faces at the table and noticed that Lucas wasn’t sitting in any of the chairs.

“Hey, Mom, I just put Zoi down for a nap . . .”

He looked up when Lucas walked into the dining room, his body instantly reacted, and his heart skittered a beat seeing the man he’d been dying to get a glimpse of for the past month. He looked just as shocked to see Tucker as everyone else did when he walked into the room.

“What was that, Lucas?”

“Um . . . don’t worry about it,” he said. “Hey, Tucker, it's good to see you, man.” He sat down across from him and looked away from him.

“You too,” he finally said.

He started eating, and conversation flowed around him, a few times he felt Lucas’ eyes on him but whenever he looked at the man he was looking elsewhere.

Maybe it was a bad idea for me to come here today.

* * *

Lucas was in the kitchen washing the dishes. He’d volunteered as an excuse to stay away from Tucker. Seeing the man in his parents' dining room was a fucking shock to say the least. He’d made up his mind after putting Zoi down for her nap that he was going to skip out on the family dinner and go see Tucker to finally confront him about why he’d run out after the wonderful night they had. He’d also been debating on how to tell Tucker he was pregnant. He was still in shock as to how it happened. He'd even taken his medical records and positive test results to a second doctor for an explanation as to why he was pregnant.

Of course, men could get pregnant due to Doctor Leap and the added advancements with science. There wasn't anything other scientists could do to reverse what Leap had started. But when he was born, his parents were told he and Tyler would never become pregnant, it had something to do with their genes. He’d never given a thought to the hormonal shots or supplements to prevent pregnancy either because he'd never been interested in sleeping with a man. Over the past few days, he wondered if he should tell Tucker anything until he found out how he was able to get pregnant. He’d also imagined how he was going to tell Tucker that they were having a baby together.

How do you feel about us having a kid together? No, that wouldn’t work. I should rip the bandage off. I’m pregnant, and the kid is yours. Fuck, I wonder if this is what Christen went through when he found out he was pregnant with the triplets? Oh gods, what if I’m pregnant with more than just one? What the hell am I going to do with that many kids? Would Tucker be happy or just as surprised as I was?

“Are you hiding from me?”

He didn’t turn around when he heard the question, he knew exactly who it was asking. “I should be asking you the same thing.”

“I—”

Tucker started, but Lucas stopped him by turning around and grabbing a towel to dry off his hands. “It's fine you know, I get it.”

Tucker crossed his arms over his chest and peered at Lucas. “Exactly what do you get?”

“Why'd you come here today?” Lucas asked ignoring Tucker’s question.

“Isn’t it obvious? I came here to see you.”

Lucas stared at Tucker as so many other things ran through his mind, like "if you wanted to see me, why didn't you call?"

“Zoi calls you Papa, and I’m pregnant.” There, I said it. Tucker blinked a few times and stared at him, and Lucas wasn’t sure if the man heard him. “I haven’t told my family yet; I’m still in shock as well . . .”

“H . . .” Tucker cleared his throat and spoke again. “How . . .”

“The same way it always happens—boy meets boy, and you know the rest.” Lucas might have been joking, but his heart was beating so fast it sounded like a herd of elephants stomping in his chest. Tucker stumbled and his back hit the wall. He was pale and looked as if he was about to throw up.

“Are you sure?” he finally asked.

“After twelve tests, I’m positive.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s what got us here, but I don’t regret it, and I’m keeping the baby.”

Tucker didn’t get a chance to say anything because his mother walked into the kitchen. “Lucas, have you seen . . . oh, there you are.” She walked over and handed him his cell phone. “I think you’re needed.”

“Thank you,” he said taking it from her and walking out of the kitchen without a backward glance at Lucas.

“It’s such a shame.”

“What is?” he asked his mother.

“That even on a Sunday he has to work.”

“Yeah,” he said turning back to the sink to finish the dishes. “It’s a shame.”

“Are you all right, Son? You look a bit pale.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He knew she worried about him, especially after finding out he was sick. He turned and looked at her. “Mom, honest, I’m fine.”

She sighed and shook her head. “If you say so.” She walked out of the kitchen leaving him alone. He needed time to think of what he was going to do next.

* * *