Chapter 4

LUCKY

“I just don’t understand, Bryce. You are better than this.”

I sighed, the growl threatening to erupt lodging in my throat.

For the last hour, I had listened to my fiancée berate my family, my true family, as if she had a God-given right to pass judgement.

“Better than what, exactly, Ava?” I asked with a clenched jaw, my knuckles turning white as I gripped the steering wheel.

“They are bikers, Bryce. Common criminals if you ask me.” Ava’s haughty voice was rubbing me the wrong way––a lot about her was. The way she looked down on the women of the club really pissed me off during the family BBQ. The flock was the most genuine group of chicks you could find. There was nothing common about them, and Ava treated them like they had some sort of disease today. None of them deserved it, and despite her treatment of them, not one of the ladies was rude. They never left her out of the conversation; In fact, they always went out of their way to include her. Her disdain for Shiloh didn’t go unnoticed by Deck or me, and the way my SAA gritted his teeth every time Ava deliberately ignored the little girl, I knew he was going to have something to say to me when I got back to the compound.

“Not one of them are criminals, Ava. All my brothers have exemplary military records with honourable discharges. Why must you be so judgemental?” I said, my tone clipped. What I really wanted to say was ‘Pull your head out of your arse and that of my parents, you silly woman,’ but I didn’t. Ava found swearing uncouth and vulgar, which was one reason she didn’t like Shiloh. I let a small smile settle on my lips remembering the look on Ava’s face when she first saw the club’s princess in her chunky black shitkickers, tutu, and her gun holster. She nearly tripped over her sensible high-heeled shoes.

“Why must you be so stubborn? Your father is offering you the opportunity of a lifetime, and this job will set us up to have the lifestyle we were born to have. I want nice things, Bryce, like a home to be proud of, and a husband with standing in the community. You are associating with people beneath your station.” Ava turned in her seat, her pale green eyes boring into me.

“And that Ford person, he has no decorum about him at all. He doesn’t even tie his shoelaces, for heaven’s sake. What kind of people let a man like him look after their babies,” Ava said with such disgust it chilled me to my bones. Her hatred towards my club was bad enough but hearing her degrade Ford was not something I could abide.

I slammed on the brakes, and the jolting force of my move sent us both forward, our seatbelts locking in place at the last minute. With a flick of my wrist, I threw the gearshift into park, and I reefed so hard on the handbrake, it wouldn’t have surprised me if it came off in my hand.

“Bryce, what has gotten into you—”

“That’s enough! I have heard all I can take, Ava. Those people are not only my friends but my family. My kind of people.” I slapped my hand over my heart. “They are good people, better than the fuckwits you want me to hang around and be like.” I saw her start to voice her disapproval of my language, but I cut her off again.

“Oh, yes, I know. You don’t like me swearing. Well, tough shit. Take me as I am or not at all. Now, we are going to continue driving in complete silence, understand?” Without waiting for a response, I looked over my shoulder to make sure it was clear of traffic and pulled back onto the road. There was a high probability that Ava couldn’t stay quiet, but if she knew me at all, she had better heed my warning and shut up. Saying that shit about Ford enraged me. He and I may not be seeing eye to eye these days, but my inability to accept what I really was, what I really wanted, was entirely on me. Ford made his intentions for us very clear, but my actions pushed him away, and my panic caused the huge rift between us. But Ava’s vile comments just granted her a full week without me, whether she liked it or not. After I dropped her off at her parents’ place, I was going to head back to the compound.

To my family.

 

***

 

“Didn’t think you would be coming back tonight, Luck.” Steel greeted as I sat down on the bar stool next to him with a weary sigh. My arse ached from sitting in the car for so long. It was funny how riding my bike for hours, even days at a time, never did.

“Couldn’t be bothered with all the rich family crap I would have endured. Ava rode my arse the whole way, pissing me off,” I muttered as I signalled Squid for a beer.

My VP grunted something unintelligible in response, then raised his beer to his lips and took a swig before turning to me.

“Got something to talk to you about, mate,” Steel said before taking another gulp of his beer, his eyes roaming to the hall that led to the rooms he shared with Mia and Meagan.

I smiled and waited for Steel to tell me what was on his mind—the former sniper never spoke until he was ready. I got used to it years ago when I joined the team, back when I was a young officer with a cocky attitude, which got knocked out of me in a hurry. Seeing people die in war tended to make a man humbler and have a better respect for life.

“The Bar and Grill is getting busier, and Mia is knocking herself out trying to manage the place and look after Meagan. I’m doing double duty at the bar and the gun shop since Darth—” We both lowered our heads in respect to our fallen brother. Even all these months later, the impact of his death still shrouded the club.

“You need me to take some more shifts at the club? Because I got no problems with that, brother. Creed has me at the bike shop five mornings a week but only ’til one. I don’t mind heading over to the Grill and relieving Mia.”

Steel breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks, mate. She takes Meagan with her most days, and if she can’t, I have her, but I would rather she be here at the compound. Mia is still feeding the baby, and with that and her duties at the Grill, she is taking on too much.”

I could hear the concern Steel had for his wife, the love and devotion they shared. Hard as I tried, I couldn’t imagine feeling that way about Ava. And I had tried. There was no spark, no heat, no soul-deep love. I didn’t believe she felt that way for me, either. If she did, she would be more understanding about my involvement with the club and my reasons for joining the military and serving my country. She would support my decision not to join the family business. Fuck! I came back to the compound to forget about her crap, to unwind, and here I was working myself back up again. I slammed my beer down on the bar without taking a drink. I needed to work off all this pent-up bad energy.

My eyes searched the main room, and it didn’t take long before I found what I was looking for—torn jeans, unlaced black military boots, and a tight white tee. Ford.

An evil smile formed along with an idea of the perfect way to exorcise the devil from my back.

Let’s see if he can avoid me now, I thought wickedly.

Getting up from the stool, I casually strolled over to where Ford was standing. I could tell he saw me, the slightest jump in the pulse at the base of his throat giving him away. Ford and I were both black belts in the discipline of Krav Maga, a combination of several lethal martial arts, which the military trained us in. Most special ops soldiers were trained in some kind of hand-to-hand combat, so all my brothers had specialised training. However, Ford and I had that little extra, the next level of fighting with our hands and our minds. We could predict what the next move our opponent was going to make. We both had a heightened sixth sense and, whether we liked it or not, had a connection to each other. Deep down, I liked it, and I liked seeing his reaction when I got close to him. Even when he couldn’t see me coming—like now—he felt me.

Quickly, I shook off the direction my mind was starting to head. I was still mad about Ava and my family’s refusal to see my side of things. I wanted to make my own decision on the course the rest of my life was going to take, including how and with whom I was going to take it with. Sparring with Ford always helped me calm my inner turmoil and helped me fight the demons that plagued me every single day. Most of the time, our sessions tended to take a more serious turn. I lost count of the times Darth had to break us up when the fighting got a little out of hand. The big prick’s hands had been the size of shovels, for Christ’s sake.

A small ache started up as it usually did when my thoughts went to Darth. I still couldn’t comprehend he was gone, but I guess none of us would ever come to terms with it.

I passed by Deck, giving him a chin lift and a wink, and his answering smirk let me know he was onto me. Mannix, who was standing by the pool table with a cue in his hand just shook his head with a sigh and put away the cue. He then moved two of the chairs out of the way, clearing the area for what was to come.

“Ford.” Even though my voice came out strong, on the inside, I was less confident. This would be the first time since he was discharged that our hands were going to be on one another. Not the way I wanted, but it was good enough.

Ford slowly turned his head my way, his scruffy hair covering one eye, and the hair on his face at least five days’ worth. I blocked out the memory of how that scruff felt against my own skin. Would I ever feel it again? My heart certainly wished it so.

Ford’s eyebrows rose. He knew what I wanted.

“Really, Lucky? You wanna go now?”

I ignored the use of my codename. All my brothers used it whether we were on a mission or here at the compound while Ford, on the other hand, only used it when needed. To him, I was Bryce, although not lately. Now I was Lucky to him, nothing special. I ruined that when I— No, stop it! Don’t go back there. The past is the past. I breathed in deeply. My focus needed to be on the present. Calling on my training, I emptied my mind. Ford was an expert fighter, so I had to get my wits about me.

“Yep, now. Reckon you can take me this time?” My taunt hit the desired mark.

With a low growl, Ford tossed his lighter on the couch beside him and, without a word, leaned down to remove his combat boots and socks. I quickly did the same, my gaze never leaving Ford’s movements. He was a quick man, his lanky but muscled body perfect for the fast-paced sport. I had about ten kilos on him, which was okay for boxing and wrestling, but when it came to this particular discipline, speed was the name of the game, and Ford was the best there was.

In my peripheral vision, I could see my brothers were moving furniture out of the way, giving us enough room. Usually, this sort of activity would be done in the gym, but with the lateness of the night and Shiloh and the babies fast asleep, I guessed Booth was giving us a pardon this one time.

“It’s been a long time between drinks, mate. You sure you’re up for it?” Ford asked me. He was jumping in one spot, his arms twisting this way and that, loosening up any stiff muscles. His question held two meanings. One was the time passed since we last went at it, the other being my recovery from the gunshot I had suffered. He needn’t worry about either one.

“Your concern is touching, mate, or maybe you are just worried I’m gonna kick your arse again,” I said as I performed the same warm-up exercises as Ford.

“Are you idiots going to fight or talk like chicks?” Mannix taunted us from his position near the pool table, a gleam in his eye. The enforcer was a prolific fighter in his own right and could street fight better than anyone I knew, other than Deck—that man was fucking strong, hands like hams. I went up against Deck once in a fist fight, and he knocked me on my arse, not before breaking my nose, though. He had pure brute strength.

I focused back on the man in front of me. “Ready.” As I grunted, my body automatically fell into the fighting stance. I knew Ford was not going to take it easy on me. He never did.

The first hit came right at my chest as two powerful hands landed right on my pecs, propelling me backwards. I instantly righted myself and flew at my opponent. The first punch landed where I wanted, and Ford’s head snapped to the left on impact. He expertly deflected two more, then countered back immediately with two blows to my lower belly, winding me. After that, we both countered, blocked, and knocked our bodies black and blue. Sweat poured off me, the pain of each landed punch blocked from my mind as Ford and I did what we were good at—using anger to hide what we really felt, what we really wanted.

“That all you got, Luck?” Ford asked. His breath heaved with the exertion of the last ten minutes, and he had a cut above his right eye. I hated seeing him hurt, especially at my own hand. Usually, it was around this time that Darth would pull us apart before the sparring got too out of control, but the control I was known for was gone. In its place was anger and frustration from the fight I had with Ava, my parents’ absurd prejudice, and even Ford for the temptation he made me feel. All of it fed the fuel, and there was no stopping me from inflicting some pain.

I saw Booth round the pool table, his face taut with something like concern. I knew that look—he was going to stop the fight. I dug deep, forgetting for a minute that my arms and legs burned, my fists swollen. I swung my whole body around, arced my leg, and kicked out. My shoeless foot hit Ford right in the solar plexus, sending him flying backwards. His shout was both surprised and pained, and I stood panting, shocked that I had done that. Never once had we used that particular kick on one another. It was designed to be fatal if the right amount of force was used. Appalled at myself, I rushed forward to where he had fallen to the ground. Deck and Mannix were already there, helping Ford to his feet.

“Fuck! Ford, man, I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. Are you okay?” I quickly ran my gaze over Ford, looking for any serious injuries. Kicks were usually the worst weapons, and my feet were pretty big.

“All good, brother. Good kick. Had I known we were adding them to our sparring, I would have landed one myself,” Ford said, grunting at me accusingly. He was pissed, and he had every right, too. Never had I let my anger get the better of me. My training as a top mission pilot was my best asset, but tonight, it failed me. I was lost between two worlds. So fucking lost that I doubted I was ever going to find my way out.

“Ford—” I started to apologise again, but I was cut off with a look, which Ford had perfected over the years. The combination of hurt and disappointment cut through me, slicing my heart.

“Forget it, Lucky. Good move, mate. You got your message across loud and clear,” Ford said quietly. He shrugged out of Deck and Mannix’s hold, limped over to the couch, and slowly picked up his boots. Without another look in my direction, he took off for the hallway that led to his rooms.

“Well, that was interesting, Lucky,” my VP said with a disappointed tone. “Ain’t ever seen you pull that on him before.”

I looked over at Steel, whose eyes were narrowed at me while the others were watching Ford leave, his shoulders slumped and defeated.

“I never meant to go so hard. Fuck, that has never happened before,” I muttered, ashamed.

“You better go see him, mate. That was a pretty harsh move, and he is going to be hurting for a while after that,” Booth suggested, his grey eyes saying more than his words.

“Yeah, you’re right. He will definitely have a bruise,” I agreed as I reached down and grabbed my boots.

“Wasn’t talking about that pain, mate,” Booth told me, his meaning not lost on me.

The last thing I wanted was Booth disappointed in me. He was not a man to tolerate shit between members in his club. He also did not tolerate cowardice, and right now, that was me. Hiding from the truth about the real me, the man I craved to be. I just had no idea how to do that and keep everyone happy. I lowered my eyes from the all-seeing grey ones as embarrassment engulfed me.

“Copy that, LT,” I mumbled and took off after Ford, who had already disappeared down the hall.