Chapter Eight

Lena

"You can't do that," I scold Riley as I glance at the peppers on the chopping board.

He gives me a puzzled look. "Can't do what?"

I take the kitchen knife from him and then place another pepper on the chopping board.

"You have to cut vegetables the same size or they won't cook evenly." I cut the pepper into even quarters to demonstrate. "See. Like that."

He shrugs. "Fine."

He takes the knife back and continues cutting the peppers as I've taught him.

I nod. "That's better."

For today's challenge, Riley and I have to cook and host a dinner for four guests. Already, the chicken, which I've brined and rubbed with herbs and spices, is roasting in the oven. I've finished making the chocolate mousse for dessert, too, which only leaves the two side dishes for Riley to make. I wonder if he'll finish in time, though.

"So you have seventeen gold medals, you know how to play the piano and how to dance, but you don't know how to cook?" I tease him.

He frowns. "No one taught me."

Really? Then that means he must have grown up rich.

"How have you been surviving, then? Let me guess. You have your own personal chef."

"I did," Riley admits. "He worked hand in hand with my nutritionist."

I let out a whistle. "Wow. Athletes really take their health seriously, don't they?"

"Our health is everything. Our bodies are our weapons, our greatest treasures."

I nod. "But you were referring to your chef and nutritionist in the past tense. Don't they work for you anymore?"

"I've already retired, remember?"

Yes, I do remember hearing about that. I can't recall the reason, though. He's still young. And he definitely looks fit. More importantly, when he spoke just now, I could hear a tinge of frustration, of regret in his voice. It's almost like he was forced to retire.

I want to ask him why, but he looks serious enough already. I don't want to put him in a bad mood.

"And I guess your girlfriends have cooked for you, too," I say instead.

"Never had one."

My eyebrows arch. What?

No way. There's no way someone as hot and accomplished and popular as Riley Boyle has never had a girlfriend.

"Like hell I'll believe that," I tell him as I cross my arms over my chest. "I bet you've had a hundred."

"I've been with a lot of women," Riley confesses. "But I've never committed to anyone. I didn't have that luxury."

Oh. Right. Of course he can't be a virgin like me. What was I thinking?

And why do I suddenly feel jealous?

It's just like how I felt yesterday when I was watching Riley and Bertha dancing with so much passion. I couldn't help but wish he was looking at me and not her with that look of hunger in his eyes. I couldn't help but wish he was holding me, just me.

And now I'm getting jealous of women I don't even know? I frown. I'm turning into a monster, and I don't like it.

"But don't worry." Riley turns to me with a tender look in his eyes. "You're the only woman for me now."

Heat burns in my cheeks. What's up with that surprise attack?

It's just acting, of course. I know it. He can't possibly mean it.

Can he?

"Just keep your eyes on your vegetables," I tell him as I look away. "You don't want to lose a finger, do you? And pick up the pace a little. Even if you can't set a record chopping vegetables, surely you can do it faster. Our guests will arrive before we know it."

Riley grins as he gives me a mock salute. "Yes, ma'am."

~

Our guests arrive at six. They're two married couples--Ashley and Eric, who were on Wed For A Week two years ago and ended up becoming a real couple, and Candace and Sean, who have been married for ten years and have two kids at home.

As the guys have their wine out on the patio, the women help me set the table.

"So how's it like being married to a celebrity?" Ashley asks me as she pours gravy into the boats.

"I was a bit star-struck at first," I admit. "But I guess the more I got to know Riley, the more I forgot about him being a celebrity and the more I remembered he's just a man."

"A very good-looking man," Candace says as she grabs the forks and spoons. "But don't tell Sean that."

I give her a look of surprise. "Aren't you in love with him?"

"Of course I am. I love him to bits. But hey, the fact that we're married doesn't mean we can't find other guys attractive, right?"

Ashley glances around the kitchen. "This house is so much nicer than the one Eric and I lived in. But hey, I'm not complaining. I loved that green house. I mean, it's where Eric and I fell in love."

She gives a dreamy sigh. In love? I wonder how that feels.

"Sean and I fell in love at a summer camp," Candace says. "We were both counselors there."

"And was it love at first sight?" Ashley asks eagerly.

"I think so," Candace answers with a sheepish grin. "But we didn't know it until later. Like we were already in love with each other before we knew it. Crazy, right?"

"Love works in crazy ways," Ashley agrees. "Don't you think so, Lena?"

I want to say that I don't know because I've never been in love. Instead, I say, "Yup. Crazy."

Ashley giggles.

"So, Candace, you've been married ten years, right?" I ask her. "What's your secret?"

"Oh, we still fight. A lot. Over little things that don't make sense. But we just don't give up on each other."

I pause, remembering the two occasions Riley said he wouldn't give up on me. Wait. Why am I remembering that now?

"We're just there for each other," Candace goes on. "We do what we can for each other, even if it's just little things like cutting nails..."

"He cuts your nails?" Ashley's eyes grow wide. "Oh, that's sweet."

"And the kids, I think, really help keep us together."

"How old are your kids?" I ask curiously.

"Eight and five." Candace takes her phone from her pocket. "Actually, I have a picture."

Ashley and I look over her shoulders to see it--a photo of an eight-year-old boy in a baseball uniform and a five-year-old girl with pigtails and a lollipop.

"They're adorable," Ashley remarks.

"They are... in pictures." Candace puts her phone away. "In real life, they're much more challenging. But hey, I love them to bits."

"Eric and I want to have children soon," Ashley says.

I fall silent. How did this conversation suddenly turn awkward?

"Oh, right." Candace places a hand on my arm as she notices my discomfort. "You and Riley are getting divorced when the week is over, right? So I guess that means no kids."

Ashley shrugs. "Unless they become a real married couple like Eric and I."

I doubt that's going to happen. In fact, I know it's not. I've known it from the beginning. Why, then, am I feeling sad right now?

"I'm sure Riley's kids will look gorgeous," Ashley adds.

That I'm sure of.

"But what if they find out Lena's pregnant after the show?" Candace asks. "I mean, what if she gets pregnant during the show?"

"Not gonna happen." Ashley shakes her head. "It's in the contract that you have to use protection."

Candace nods. "I see." Then she nudges my arm and lowers her voice. "So have you... used protection?"

"Yes, of course," I lie with a blush.

"Then again, who's to blame you if you get carried away?" Ashley winks.

"Or if the two of you decide to get naughty?" Candace adds.

My cheeks burn even more but I hold a finger to my lips. "Shh."

They laugh.

I find myself joining in. I've never really had girlfriends before. Well, there's my sister, but I don't think we've ever had a conversation about sex. Same with Paula. So this is what it feels like.

"Then again, maybe you shouldn't," Candace gets serious again. "You're already going to be heartbroken when the week's over, right?"

"I was," Ashley admits. "Which is why I was so thrilled when Eric called."

"Do you think you'll be able to forget him?" Candace asks me.

I don't answer.

Will I? Can I?

"Oh, but let's not be so dreary." Candace rubs my shoulder. "Tonight is supposed to be a celebration."

"She's right." Ashley pours herself a glass of wine. "Let's just savor the moment while it lasts."

She pours wine for Candace and me as well before lifting her glass.

"To making the most of crazy moments."

"Cheers!" Candace raises her glass.

I lift mine as I force a smile.

They clink in the air before we lift them to our lips. We drain them and set them down on the dining table.

Candace rubs her hands. "Let's call the boys for dinner, shall we?"

~

I try to enjoy dinner, but my thoughts are already riled up. I manage to force smiles and laughs and eat my food without any accidents and even engage in small talk, but inside my head, the wheels keep turning. The questions keep coming.

Will Riley and I really pretend we never knew each other when this is over? Can I do that? I said I'd do that, right? So why am I having such a hard time thinking about it now? Why do I feel afraid?

It's not just fear. There's also... envy.

I wish I could be like Ashley and Candace. They both look so happy, so radiant because they've found their one true love, their Westley, their Noah, their Oliver Barrett IV. I wish I had the future they have. I wish that Riley would look at me the way Eric and Sean look at them.

Well, he has done that, but it's just for show.

For the first time, I wish I was one of the lucky ones. I wish I had a love that's real.

But I don't. As Ashley and Candace said, when this week is over, this game that Riley and I are playing, this farce will be over, too.

"Lena?" Riley's voice breaks into my thoughts as I put away the dishes after dinner. "Is something wrong?"

"No." I carry the dishes to the sink. "Why?"

"You just seem quiet."

I put the dishes down in the sink. "Maybe I'm just too busy watching those four. They're fun to watch, after all. It's like I'm watching a movie, a romantic comedy."

"They are nice," Riley agrees. "I don't really have a lot of friends, just one who's more like a brother to me, so it was nice talking to Sean and Eric."

I turn to him with a puzzled look. "You don't have a lot of friends?"

That's something else I find hard to believe.

"Fans and rivals and critics I've got a lot of," he says. "Friends? Not really."

"Well, I guess being a celebrity, you have to be careful who you trust."

I hold a glass under the tap and open it.

Riley grabs my wrist. "Are you sure you're okay? You know you can tell me if something's bothering you, right?"

I meet his gaze. There he goes again giving me that look that makes me feel weak at the knees. But he's given me that look from the beginning, right? So why does it affect me differently now?

"Hey," Candace interrupts as she enters the room.

I pull my hand away from Riley's and close the tap.

"Oops." Candace places a hand over her mouth. "I'm so sorry for barging in like that."

"It's okay," I tell her. "Do you need anything?"

"Well, I think before we leave, we should play a game," she answers. "You know, like a couples' game night."

I turn to Riley. "What do you think?"

He nods. "Yeah, sure. What are we playing?"

~

For the next hour, we play classic charades. And no surprise, I guess all the movies right, even the ones Riley is bad at acting out, like Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Casablanca. Thanks to that, Riley and I win. We exchange triumphant high-fives and he gives me a peck on the cheek.

The game distracted me, and I even admit I had fun. Now that it's over, though, and our guests are leaving, I'm beginning to feel uneasy again. Still, I force a smile as I say my goodbyes to Ashley and Candace.

"Hey." Ashley places her arm over my shoulder as we walk to the front door. "I owe you an apology."

My eyebrows furrow. "For what?"

"For misjudging you," she confesses. "Actually, when I heard about Wed For A Week Celebrity Edition, I thought the 'regular' men and women were all just these people who were after their fifteen minutes of fame or just bragging rights. I thought the women would be just all annoying, shallow fan girls. But you proved me wrong. It seems like you really see Riley as a man. And I can see that you've really put your heart on the line just like I did, that you really care for him. That you love him."

Love him? I shake my head.

"I think there's a mistake, Ashley. I don't--"

She doesn't let me finish. "I know you don't want to admit it. It's scary to think you can fall for someone so easily, especially someone who you know might soon be out of your reach. But there's no shame in it. When you lose to your heart, it isn't really a defeat."

I find myself unable to answer.

Ashley squeezes my shoulder. "Just like I said earlier, savor it while it lasts. Who knows? It may just last forever. If it happened to me, it can happen to you."

"Thanks," I manage to say with a weak smile.

She pats my shoulder before running off to join the rest. As I wave at them, Riley stands by my side and takes my hand in his. Immediately, I feel a warmth in my palm that spreads up my arm towards my chest. As I glance at him, my heart skips a beat.

So this is... love? Already?

Unbelievable. Then again, the more I think about it, the more I realize that what I feel for Riley is more than just a crush. After all, I feel happy around him. I want to make him happy. I want to kiss him. I want him for my own. I imagine a future with him.

I want a future with him. A real one.

Is this why I was confused before? Because I was trying to deny it? Was my head a mess yesterday because I was trying to fight my own feelings?

My gaze goes to the ring on my finger.

But so what? I'm the only one who feels this way. Riley and I aren't married. Riley doesn't belong to me. He's just playing along. He's just playing. Period.

So I can't be serious. Maybe it's too late, but I can still keep this hole in my heart from getting bigger. I can still save some of it for me.

There's two days left. In those two days, I can't let myself fall for Riley any more than I have. Or I may not have a heart left.

I may not survive.