I need to know the truth. It’s driving me absolutely fucking insane, almost as much as this intense desire for Addie herself.

The closer we get, the more I want to ask the question, but I’m afraid of the answer. I wanted to invite Cara to the beach for selfish reasons, and not just the ones that I was admitting to myself.

I want to know who her father is, because the more I see that little girl, the more I think I know.

The week after our little beach excursion, I have that Thursday off. Fortunately, Addie’s working that day, so I take the opportunity to go do a little digging the only way I know how.

Eleanor answers her door with a surprised smile. “Will,” she says. “Lovely seeing you.”

“Hello, Eleanor. How are you?”

“I’m good, I’m good. Addie’s not here.”

“I know. I’m actually here to see you.”

She looks surprised, like I knew she would. “What could a handsome young man want with an old lady like me?”

“Hardly old,” I say, grinning at her. “I was hoping you could make me some of that amazing tea.”

She gives me a sly look. “Well young man, apparently you know exactly how to play me. Come on in, make yourself at home.”

I follow her into the kitchen and sit down as she busies herself with the tea. We make small talk about the weather, about her garden, and about Addie in general.

“She’s in a much better mood since you came home,” she says, giving me a sly smile.

“That’s good to hear. Was she unhappy before?”

Eleanor shrugs. “Not unhappy. But she had no direction.”

“Can’t be easy, having a baby without a father.”

Eleanor glances at me, the quickest and barest glance, and my heart does a quick step. She looks away just as fast. “Sure, being a single mother is hard,” she says without looking at me.

She comes over with the tea and places a cup in front of me. I wanted to work my way up to this, but this is my chance, and I can’t pass it up.

“What do you know about him?” I ask her casually, sipping my drink.

Eleanor shrugs. “Nothing, really. Addie kept him from me for a long time.”

“You didn’t know who it was?”

“She doesn’t like talking about it.”

“I’ve noticed,” I say. “But she did eventually tell you?”

“Yes,” she says, a little hesitantly. “Listen, Will, I’m happy you’ve stopped over for a visit. But if you’re here to do some digging, I can’t help you.”

I laugh a little bit. “Am I that obvious?”

“Yes,” she says sincerely, “but it’s okay. I know you care about her. You’re the only person in the world that can bring that girl out of her shell.”

I feel strangely proud, hearing those words. Part of me knows it’s true, but it still feels good being reminded of how much she cares for me, because the feeling is mutual.

“I just worry, is all,” I say. “Cara seems like a sweet girl.”

“She is,” Eleanor confirms.

“I just worry about who the dad is and why he’s not around. I mean, it must be pretty complicated. How is she dealing with it?”

Eleanor’s silent for a second. I sip my tea again and favor it’s musky, earthy flavor.

“Not well,” she says finally. “Not at first, anyway. But what’s it matter? She’s doing better, Cara’s growing up great, and we’re all happy. We don’t need to discuss the past.”

“You’re right,” I say, although I’m itching to do exactly that. “Would you tell me if it were something I needed to worry about?”

She stares at me for what feels like a long time. “Yes,” she says finally. “Now please, let’s drop it.”

I nod and change the subject. I ask her about her latest charity, which gets her talking for a good half hour. When she’s done, I finish my tea and thank her.

“I appreciate you letting me drop by,” I say. “Coming back into Addie’s life has been… it’s been hard.”

Eleanor nods as she shows me to the door. “I know it has. You’re adjusting yourself, aren’t you?”

“I am,” I say, “but I’m doing good.’

She nods, looking concerned. “Don’t think any more about the father, okay? He’s not a threat to you.”

That takes me by surprise. “Really?”

“Really,” she says. “And feel free to come see Cara whenever you want. It might be good for you.” She hesitates, and adds, “for both of you.”

“Thanks,” I say to her. “And thanks for the tea.”

“Any time, young man.”

I leave and head out to my truck. She shuts the door behind me, and that last comment keeps playing through my mind.

Why would she want me to stop by and see Cara whenever I want? And why would it be good for both of us?

I start the engine and slowly head back toward home, that question still playing through my mind. By the time I park the truck, I think I know the answer, and it’s the answer I’ve been avoiding this whole time, afraid it might tear me into pieces.