I get home from work, tired and ready to crash, but I know I have to be a mom for a little bit longer. Cara comes running over and I give her a big hug before carrying her into the kitchen. I put her down and let her teeter over to a ring of toys she has set up in the back corner while Eleanor busies herself with dinner.

“How was work?” she asks me.

“Good.” I grab an open bottle of white wine from the refrigerator and pour myself a little glass. “Not the most exciting job in the world. But Teddy’s a really nice guy.”

“He said you’re doing a good job,” she says. “I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks, Eleanor. And thanks for getting me this job. I know I was really hesitant, but it’s good for me.” I take a sip of my drink. “Pretty soon I’ll be moving out, I bet.”

Eleanor frowns a little bit. “Sure you will,” she says, stirring.

I watch Cara play for a few minutes, enjoying my after work drink. Eleanor finally turns to me with a strange look on her face.

“What’s wrong?” I ask her.

She’s never looked upset before in my whole life, but I’m afraid she’s going to cry. It freaks me the hell out. Eleanor’s the strongest person I’ve ever met.

“I did something today,” she says. “Something I know I shouldn’t have.”

“What happened?” I ask her again. I get up to go over to her, to comfort her, but she shakes her head.

“I let Will see Cara earlier today while you were at work.”

I stop in my tracks and stare at her. “You did what?”

“He wanted to come over again, said he wanted some tea, but really he wanted to see Cara.” Eleanor takes a breath and lets it out. “He knows, sweetie. He has to know.”

I stare at her, eyes wide, anger rising. “You did what?”

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I know I had no right.”

“No, you didn’t,” I say angrily. “If I wanted him to see Cara, I’d let him myself. You don’t get to make those decisions.”

“But he’s her father,” she says, an insistent whisper.

I glance over at Cara. She’s still playing, but I know she’s listening. I turn back to Eleanor and step closer to her. She looks so small suddenly, although she looms huge in my memory.

“Never again,” I say softly. “Never without my permission.”

“I promise,” she says. “I just want the girl to have a father. And he wants to be there—”

“No,” I say, surprising myself by the anger welling up through me. “If he wanted to be there, he would’ve been.’

“He didn’t know,” she says softly.

“He knew. Or maybe he just didn’t want to know. But it’s not that simple.”

“Of course it’s not simple. Nothing’s ever simple. I don’t know what happened between you two to make you hate him so much, but Addie, honey, he’s the best person for you.” She hesitates a second. “And I think he wants to be a part of Cara’s life.”

“You don’t get to decide that,” I hiss at her. “Do you hear me?”

“I hear you.” She pulls herself together, standing tall again. I shrink back a little bit. “But you hear me now, Addie Carter. That boy loves you, and you’re a damn fool if you don’t see it.”

I hesitate, surprised, but my anger wins out. I walk over to Cara, scoop her up, and carry her up into her room. I play with her for the rest of the night, until it’s time to put her to bed. All the while I keep thinking about what Eleanor said.

That boy loves you.

After Cara’s in bed, I tell Eleanor she’s on duty before I go out to my car and drive over to Will’s. I get there in less than ten minutes and climb out of my car, not sure if I’m angry or excited or both, Eleanor’s words still in my mind.

I storm inside his building and head right for his door. I knock twice, nice and hard, and wait. I can hear his TV on inside, playing some hockey game too loud. It mutes before he comes and answers.

He smiles when he sees me. “Hey, Addie,” he says.

I glare at him. “We need to talk.”

His smile fades and he nods. “Okay. Come inside.”

I push past into his kitchen and whirl on him. I can’t be soft now, even if I keep thinking about what Eleanor said. I can’t let that distract me or make me forget why I’m here.

I don’t want to think about the last time I was in this apartment. I don’t want to think about how he makes me feel, his hands on my body, his lips on my skin. It’s not fair, so freaking far from fair. He got to run away, leave me and go to Russia when I really needed him, all after using me for sex and getting me pregnant.

And now here we are. He’s back and he’s doing it again, fucking me when he wants to and leaving me wondering what the hell he’s thinking.

But no, no, that’s not the Will I know. That’s not the Will I’ve gotten close to again. Kind Will, supportive Will, he’s the only person that ever truly loved me and made me feel special, aside from Eleanor of course. So why can’t I trust him?

The sound of the basement door slamming shut, my parents fighting upstairs, dripping water, my stomach growling, my father laughing as they pulled me away.

Will cocks his head as I stare at the ground. I realize that I might be having a panic attack.

“Addie?” he asks, coming toward me. “Are you okay?”

I step away from him. “Stop, don’t come closer.” I take big, deep breathing, steading myself.

He looks terrified, and he keeps glancing at his phone. I glare at him. “Don’t call anyone,” I say. “We need to talk.”

“Okay,” he says. “Just, I want to make sure you’re okay first.”

“I’m fine,” I snap, steadying myself on the counter. “I’m fine.”

He doesn’t respond. He grabs a glass and pours me some water, putting it down in front of me. I sip at it gratefully, although it doesn’t quench my anger, not at all.

“You went and saw my daughter behind my back.”

He doesn’t look surprised. “I got Eleanor’s permission.”

“You didn’t get mine,” I snap.

Will frowns. “I know. I’m sorry about that, it’s just—”

“Stop,” I say angrily. “Just save it. I don’t want to hear excuses”

“Addie, I—”

“I said stop.” I slam the glass down onto the counter hard enough to send a crack spidering up its side. Water immediately leaks out of it, and I step back, surprised.

He comes over and grabs the glass, dumping it into the sink and dropping it into the trash. I back away as he comes toward me. “Are you hurt?” he asks.

“I’m fine.” I stop in the living room and turn back to him as he cleans the water up with a towel, “You can’t see her again.”

“What?” He stops cleaning.

“You can’t ever see my daughter again,” I say to him.

“Addie, let’s just talk about this,” he says, eyes wide.

“No, you listen. You crossed a line today, Will. You went behind my back to see my daughter. You can pretend you weren’t being sneaky all you want, but we both know you were. You took advantage of Eleanor’s kindness, and that’s bad enough, but you also took advantage of me.” I glare at him, daring him to answer, but he doesn’t. He looks down at the ground, his face a perfect mask.

“You don’t get to see her again,” I repeat. “Don’t call, don’t show up in the middle of the night. Don’t bother Eleanor. Do you hear me?”

He just nods, arms crossed over his chest.

I walk to the door. I can feel my resolve rapidly fading. I’m pushing away the only person that I’ve ever opened myself up to, the only person that loves me in this world. I’m pushing away a gorgeous man that makes me feel so incredible. The memory of that night comes back again, and the more recent memories, his hands on my skin, my body shivering, my lips moaning.

I stop at the door and pull it open. I have to get out of here before I give in. I can’t look back. I have to think about my daughter’s best interests, and I don’t think that’s Will.

“I know she’s mine.”

I stop with my hand on the door. I feel like I might pass out.

“I know, Addie. I didn’t know, but I should’ve figured it out sooner. Eleanor didn’t tell me, if that’s what you’re thinking. I just, figured it out.”

I glance back at him, but I don’t speak. I think I might pass out, my heart’s beating so fast.

“I’m so sorry,” he says. “I shouldn’t have gone to Russia. I shouldn’t have left you. I fucked up. But I’m here now, and I’m not leaving. I know she’s my daughter.” He comes closer, eyes wide now, pleading. “If it’s true, please, let me be a good father. Let me step p. I want to help, I want to be involved. I know it’s a big deal, and I won’t let either of you down. Please, Addie. Tell me the truth.”

I stare at him, at the father of my daughter, at the only man I’ve ever loved. Dripping water, my father laughing, my stomach rumbling, empty now for days.

I turn away and open the door. “Too little too late,” I say, and slam it shut behind me.