“Thanks for letting me stay, Corin. It’s been kind of nice being here. In Spain, with Landen always out of town for work, I was alone a lot.”
“Um, he was obviously in town at some point,” Corin says nodding to my belly. “And you’re welcome.”
I laugh and roll my eyes. “So, any chance you’re going to give me some details about you and Skylar? Has he been in town yet?”
“God, pregnancy makes you such a perv.” She swats me with a napkin.
“Uh huh. Three years, Corin. You’ve been I don’t like labels but we’re together for three years.” I drag out the last word to make my point.
“I’m focusing on school. It’s not easy getting into law school, you know? Skylar knows that. We have an understanding.”
“Uh, you probably have an understanding. Skylar probably has an on-going relationship with blue balls.”
“Layla Flaherty! I cannot believe you just said that. What the hell are they doing to you in Spain? Where did my sweet little Georgia go?” She gapes at me and I laugh, but a sharp pang in my mid-section stops my laughter in my throat.
“Oh, ouch.” I rub one hand across my stomach and the other on my lower back until it subsides.
“Are you okay?” Her green eyes are wide and filled with fear. “Do I need to call someone?”
I snort. “No. Just growing pains. I’m fine.”
“Hey, um, Lay? I know you don’t want to hear this, but have you thought about alternate living arrangements? I mean, it’s something you should probably consider.”
“You’re right,” I tell Corin as we set the table for dinner in her small apartment. “I don’t want to hear that.”
“Layla,” she huffs out my name on an exasperated sigh. “I know you love him and I know we all want to believe that this place is going to be the answer to our prayers. But—”
“But what?” I ask, folding my arms over the small bump that’s begun to jut out between my hips.
“But what if it’s not? What if it would be better for you and for the baby to stay here?”
“Here as in…”
“Well of course you’re welcome to stay here as in right here in this apartment for as long as you like. But I mean here as in California. You’re all caught up on your correspondence classes, right? So why not just finish up the rest of them here and walk at graduation? Maybe get an apartment in this building. We could be neighbors. I could babysit.” The hopeful expression she wears makes it impossible to be irritated by her suggestion.
Thankfully the doorbell rings and the Chinese food we ordered is here. Sitting at the kitchen table as she pays the deliveryman, I imagine what it would be like. Me, on my own. Raising my child, mine and Landen’s child, alone. As much as I hate to admit it to myself, if Landen can’t get control of his anger and his temper, then Corin might be right. But he can do this. I know he can. Just the fact that he went to the Allied Center proves he’s a better man than his father could ever be. Because he wants to be more than anything.
Corin brings the food in and we’re quiet throughout dinner, which is unusual for us. The light jovial mood from earlier has been replaced with tension that thickens the air between us. Finally Skylar stops by to drop off some notes from a class Corin missed, and I excuse myself to go lie down.
The sound of a baby crying startles me and I jolt upright. I’m in bed. Something beside me is ringing. But there’s no baby. For a few seconds, I’m disoriented. Sitting up and noticing the plum-colored walls, I realize I’m in Corin’s guest room. The light from beside me catches my attention. My phone.
Glancing over I see Landen’s smiling face.
“Hey,” I greet him, knowing he’ll hear the heavy sound of sleep in my voice.
“Did I wake you?”
“Not really. I just woke up from a nap.” Cradling the phone to my ear, I prop myself up on my pillows. Well, Corin’s pillows. “How was today?”
He’s quiet and I can tell something’s wrong.
“Landen?”
“Fine, babe. It was fine. Just long is all.”
“Same here. You want to talk about it?” I trace the ivy pattern of Corin’s comforter with my free hand.
“Nah. I just needed to hear your voice.” He’s quiet for a moment. “Layla?”
I stifle a yawn to answer him. “Yeah?”
“I love you. And I’m trying to be ready for this, trying to be the kind of man worthy of being a father. I’m sorry if I haven’t acted like it lately.” The apologetic regret weighs down his voice.
I lie back all the way and stare at the ceiling. “I love you, too. And I know you’re trying. It means a lot to me that you’re trying so hard.”
A muffled sound, almost like a sniffle or possibly static comes through the line.
“Landen?”
“Yeah,” he says, his voice rougher than before. “Yeah, I just…” Through our less than stellar connection I hear him sigh. “I just don’t want to be like him. God I don’t want to be anything like he was.”
The full weight of his words presses me down deeper into the mattress. “I know, baby. You won’t. You aren’t anything like him.”
“I’ve been acting just like him, Layla. I’ve been treating you like you dumped this kid on me instead of seeing it for the miracle it is. Instead of being grateful to have someone strong enough and capable of loving our baby for the both of us while I grew the hell up.”
Tears well in my eyes at his confession. He’s right, and it hurts to accept, but it’s true. “I know it’s a lot to deal with. I didn’t expect you to—”
“He isn’t my dad, Layla. The Colonel, he isn’t my biological father.”
If I weren’t already lying down, I’d fall over. “What? Landen, what are you—”
“My mom had an affair. I’ve been this constant reminder of her infidelity. Not to say that makes it okay, but…that’s what he told me the day everything went to shit. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner.”
I’m so surprised I don’t know what to say. He rushes on. “I’ve been trying to tell you every day since I found out but I…I just couldn’t…deal. And I didn’t want that to be another excuse for the way I am. It’s not one. It’s just something I have to accept and learn to handle. Like my anger issues.”
My arms ache to wrap around him. The urge to ease the pain I hear in his voice is visceral. “God, Landen. I’m so sorry, baby. I wish I were there. I wish I could hold you and kiss you and just…make it better somehow.”
“It’s okay. Honestly, I’m glad to know the truth. I feel like…like it makes some kind of sense now. But it’s still no excuse. I’m done making excuses and letting anyone else make excuses for me. I left you alone in this. I won’t do that again, angel. I promise.”
Nodding, even though he can’t see me, I wipe my tears away. “I know. I knew you would get there. Eventually.”
“Sorry, I took so long,” he says softly.
“You were worth the wait.”