CHAPTER FORTY
To: Beautification Committee
From: Bruce Oakleigh
Subject: Current business
Hello, fellow B.C. members,
Bruce Oakleigh here, your faithful president. We’ve got a few housekeeping details to take care of before our next meeting.
Everyone can stop sending me instigation scenarios for the Eden-Davis match, hereafter known as Operation Inebriated Chinchilla. We’ve had a doozy of a suggestion from yours truly that I can’t wait to share with you. It’s guaranteed to spark friendly feelings between our matchees. Does anyone have any experience with stink bombs?
Our next regularly scheduled meeting falls on Halloween, and I know we’d all like to attend the Halloween Carnival. I am fine with rescheduling for the following evening as long as everyone is willing to picket She Who Shall Not Be Named’s wedding as planned. To be respectful, we won’t chant during the vows, but we will be waving our signs and frowning fiercely.
Amethyst and I are looking forward to seeing everyone’s costumes!
Yours in matching success,
Bruce Oakleigh
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Donovan scrolled through the electronic record of one Agnes Merill—or Agnes Miller, depending on the alias and the woman’s mood. She’d been picked up for shoplifting in Buffalo and had two DUIs, one in Allentown, Pennsylvania, and another one in New Haven, Connecticut. She hadn’t shown in court for either of those.
Then there was the string of bad checks scattered across four states, two counts of breaking and entering in New Jersey, and three counts of possession, two with intent to sell.
She’d skipped out on every warrant, bailed on every court date. Donovan was well aware of how overtaxed the court system was, but it was still frustrating that criminals like Agnes Merill walked the streets, wreaking havoc until they got busted for something they couldn’t post bail for.
And if he didn’t find her fast, that’s exactly what would happen here. He felt helpless sitting here waiting. But it was only a matter of time before she was picked up.
Minnie poked her head into his office. “Quite the rap sheet isn’t it?”
Donovan rubbed the back of his neck. “Now, Minnie. I don’t need to tell you this is all confidential, do I?”
She rolled her eyes at him like a teenager, meaning she’d already told the entire town. “Everyone’s worried about Eva. We don’t like when someone comes in here and messes with one of our own. We’re all watching out for her,” she sniffed.
Donovan sighed. All of Eva’s secrets had gone from vault to public in a matter of days. And as glad as he was that she wasn’t keeping them to herself anymore, he didn’t want her to feel the scrutiny of the public’s opinion.
“When we find her, just please keep it under your hat until I’ve had the chance to talk to Eva, okay?”
“Sure, Sheriff. Hope you catch the bitch,” Minnie said with uncharacteristic venom.
He would, and when he was done with her, Agnes would regret ever coming to Blue Moon.
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Charisma Champion took the chair across from Eva in a bizarre yet pleasing cloud of patchouli and homemade bread.
Eva bit back a sigh and tugged the headphones off her ears. She’d borrowed an old laptop from the black-eyed Beckett and set up shop at Overly Caffeinated to pour herself into writing. No thieving mother or public shame was going to derail this book. Certainly not while she tried to transcribe everything Donovan said to her last night while working her body into one human-sized orgasm. With inspiration like that, nothing was going to keep her away from her online backups.
“Eva,” Charisma breathed as if she was fogging up a crystal ball. “So lovely to finally meet you. I’m Charisma.” She held out a hand decorated with moonstone and amethyst rings.
“It’s nice to meet you as well,” Eva commented, shaking the offered hand. “What brings you out in the middle of a school day?”
“Oh, I have the meditation class right now. It’s basically naptime for eighth graders. I usually sneak out. And when I saw you here, I felt like it was fate.”
“Hmm, fate. Okay.”
“This trouble with your mother,” Charisma began.
In her head, Eva heard the sound of the figurative shoe dropping. She’d purposely chosen to show her face in town today. Dealing with the public fallout of her choices was one reason. The other possibly more prevalent one was the fact that she just wasn’t ready to return to her house yet.
“Is this typical behavior for her?” Charisma asked.
Eva tilted her head. “Why do you ask?”
“Well, I’m concerned that this planetary event that we’re experiencing may be affecting more than just Blue Moon. I understand you’ve been estranged from your mother, but I wasn’t certain that she has shown a history of criminal behavior. If this is bigger than Blue Moon, we could be looking at a multi-state disaster next week.”
Next week. Halloween and Ellery’s wedding.
Charisma pressed on in true small-town gossip fashion. “Now, I’ve heard from a few sources that your mother has a long history with, shall we say disagreeable behavior. Then there’s the story that she left your family to join a convent, and that’s where she’s been for all these years and just suddenly decided to renounce her vows, reconnect with you, and break into your home. Which could indicate that the radius of this planetary crossing is increasing. Which would mean that my calculations were incorrect, and that’s never happened before.”
Charisma’s voice got higher and shriller with every sentence. She was a woman who took her calculations seriously.
“I think your calculations are intact,” Eva said, taking pity on the woman’s crisis of self-confidence. “My mother hasn’t been a pillar of society for a very long time.”
“Thank goodness! You had me worried there for a moment. Whew!” Charisma wiped her brow in relief.
“I’m glad to alleviate your fears,” Eva said dryly.
“Yerba mate with a side of wheat grass,” the eyebrow-ringed barista called from the counter.
“Oh, that’s me! I’d better be getting back to my class. So glad your mother’s a criminal!”
“Uh, me too?” Eva watched Charisma grab her drink and head for the door.
“I’ll see you tonight, Eva!” Charisma called cheerily as she exited.
“Tonight?” Eva asked no one in particular.
The barista shrugged and went back to his graphic novel.
Eva shook her head and put her headphones back on.
She dug back into her backlog of social media and email correspondence first. She didn’t like going too long without talking to her fans. The days of sending handwritten fan letters to a publisher who may or may not forward your sentiments on to your favorite author were long gone. Now, she could speak directly with her readers and get instant feedback on titles, covers, and plots.
And torture them with sneak peeks at her work in progress.
She replied to comments and emails, trying not to let her head get too big when one reader compared her to the Nora Roberts.
She felt her table jostle and looked up to find Rainbow and Gordon Berkowicz crowding a third chair around it. They settled and stared at her expectantly until she removed her headphones.
“Hello, Berkowiczs,” she said. Gordon was in his usual uniform of dirty, decades-old cargo pants and a t-shirt that fit him a bit better when he graduated high school. Rainbow was in her traditional bank attire in a neat-as-a-pin pantsuit.
“We’re here on official you-know-what business,” Gordon said in a hushed whisper. In the perusal of her pink heart binder, Eva had noted that discussing the Beautification Committee and its business was strictly forbidden in public.
“Shouldn’t we be discussing this in private?” Eva asked, glancing around them at the quiet café.
“Subsection 2C allows for public discussion in the event of an emergency.” Rainbow rattled off what Eva could only assume was B.C. procedural code.
“What’s the emergency?” Her curiosity was piqued.
They shared a glance and Rainbow nodded at Gordon. “We heard about your mother,” he told her.
Dang small towns.
“Yes, my mother broke into my home after blackmailing me for years. No, she did not escape a convent. And I don’t think it’s related to the planetary crossing. Anything else?”
“Well, how are you feeling, dear?” Gordon asked, patting her hand.
“We can only imagine the upheaval this has been for you. And if you feel at any time that you think it’s negatively affecting your abandonment issues, we’re prepared to drop all current projects and focus on you,” Rainbow jumped in.
“All current projects, including picketing Ellery’s wedding?” Eva asked.
“Of course. But only if you feel that this unfortunate run-in with your mother is going to have a detrimental effect on your relationship with Sheriff Cardona,” Rainbow said.
“Yes,” Gordon said. “We were surprised to find you two were getting so serious despite the B.C’s request that you work on yourself first. But that’s young love for you.”
Eva rubbed her eyes and debated just exactly how much she cared for Ellery. Hell. Her little goth pal, a woman who had been nothing but absolutely lovely to her, was getting married. And here was Eva’s chance to ensure her perfect day.
“You know, now that you mention it, I’ve been feeling a little…” she glanced at the two of them. “Unhinged?”
Rainbow slapped Gordon on the shoulder. “We had a feeling,” she said knowingly. “We’ll work out a treatment plan immediately.”
Eva cleared her throat. “And will this treatment be confidential?” she asked, wondering what further damage Beautification Committee interference would do to her already dingy reputation.
“Of course. Everything we do is confidential,” Rainbow reminded her.
That word did not mean to Blue Moon what it meant to the rest of the world.
They rose and Rainbow patted Eva awkwardly on the shoulder. “You don’t have to worry about a thing. We’ll take care of everything. I’ll contact Donovan directly about his role.”
Eva opened her mouth and managed a strangled “Uhhhh?” before they hit the door.
“See you tonight.” Rainbow waved cheerily.
Eva walked herself through her usual coping mechanisms and discarded them immediately. Nope. Keeping this one to herself wasn’t going to do any good.
She dialed Donovan. “How good of a mood did last night put you in?” she asked.
“I’m skipping down the street leaving puppies and rainbows in my wake.”
“Oh good. Because I just did something you’re going to hate.”
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By the time Eva left the café, it was getting dark, and she was worn out. She managed to convince Donovan that going to whatever couples counseling options the Beautification Committee provided would keep them from stink bombing someone’s house and ruining Ellery’s wedding. He wasn’t happy, but she’d promised to fix that too with another stellar apology. That had cheered him up considerably.
She’d debated calling Ellery but decided the bride didn’t need anything else to freak out over. She’d already gone into a tailspin over red velvet coffin runners.
Eva took a deep breath and hugged the borrowed laptop to her chest. She’d finally hit her word count goal. The third latte had really given her brain the boost she needed to block out her surroundings. Of course, the caffeine tremors had slowed down her typing, but overall, Eva was freaking thrilled with how the book was coming together. It almost made up for everything else.
Earlier in the day Deputy Layla, picking up to-go caffeine, had reported that Eva was clear to return home again. But Eva still wasn’t ready to revisit the wreckage the careless Agnes had inflicted. Not tonight.
Tonight, she’d be in Donovan’s bed again. And that was something she could look forward to.
She was dreamily fantasizing about exploring Donovan’s shower with him when a minivan pulled up beside her.
“There you are!” Mrs. Nordemann yelled out the window from behind the wheel.
The rear passenger door slid open, and Aretha, the book-throwing, fit-haver from Fitz’s bookstore hopped out. “Come along, dear. We’re going to be late.” She dragged Eva to the van with an astonishing strength for her small frame. Throwing hardbacks around must have added some lean muscle mass.
Eva resisted.
“Oh, now. Don’t be shy!” Another woman poked her head out and latched on to Eva’s wrist. “Places to be! People to see!”
Eva started to struggle. “Hang on a minute. Are you going to kidnap me and dump my body in the middle of some field?”
They giggled until Ellery rolled down the passenger window.
“You, too?” Eva demanded.
“Get in the van, Eva.” Ellery’s voice was serious, almost scary.
Four against one. She could probably have taken the first three, but Ellery was the wild card. Beneath her skull sweaters and pleated skirts, she had a wiry build.
“Where are we going?” Eva demanded as she climbed into the middle row of seats.
Mrs. Nordemann looked at her in the rearview mirror. “This is the shuttle to Book Club,” she said cheerily. She cranked up the Abba song that was playing and they rolled away.