CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Ellery’s house was a study in the spooktacular. Newcomers might think that the decorative gargoyles and cauldron planters overflowing with orange mums were Halloween decorations. They would be wrong. Ellery’s house looked like an homage to Halloween all year-long.
The front yard was filled with black folding chairs all facing the front stoop which was now under the cover of a black and silver tulle arch. Jack-o-lanterns with flickering candles lined the aisle and orange string lights wrapped around tree trunks. Elevated pine coffins were scattered near the sidewalk for the cocktail reception that was to follow, giving the guests the perfect front row seat to the evening’s Halloween parade.
Guests, nearly all familiar faces including the entire Pierce family, milled about the yard enjoying the complimentary gin and tonics and corpse revivers from the bar. Everyone was in costume. With the exception of Donovan who donned a Lone Ranger mask with his uniform. It was as in the spirit as he was going to get this year.
The best part? There were no protestors.
Today’s therapy session had taken up Eva’s entire afternoon, successfully blocking her from driving out of town to procure a certain test to determine her entire future. The therapy session had consisted of a private showing for one of a PowerPoint called “Moms Worse Than Yours” at the movie theater between actual show times.
Mama Fratelli from The Goonies was particularly disturbing. However, the only thing Eva could think about during the entire presentation was what kind of mother she might be. It was a waste of time and energy to worry about an unknown—okay, a huge unknown—until it was known.
“You okay?” Donovan asked, nudging her chin up to look at him.
“Me? Sure. Everything is great.”
“You’ve been staring at that gargoyle for a full minute.”
Eva blinked. She needed to tuck this worry away. Compartmentalize. Detach. Ellery was getting married. Emma was surprising Niko tonight with their baby news. Donovan was facing a long night managing mischief. The last thing anyone needed was unplanned pregnancy drama.
“I’m just nervous about my costume. I hope it’s, uh, Halloween-y enough.”
Donovan gave her a long, hard look. “You’re dressed like Little Red Riding Hood,” he reminded her. “I may not be dressed as the Big, Bad Wolf, but I wouldn’t mind eating you.”
“Har har.” She rolled her eyes.
“Something bothering you?” he pressed, adjusting the ties of her cloak and letting his fingers linger on her neck.
“I’m concerned about something,” she admitted.
“Is it something that can be fixed right now?” he asked.
She shook her head. “It’s something I’ll want to talk to you about if it turns out to be something to worry about. But for now, I’d like to have fun tonight.”
He wrapped her in his arms, squeezed. “I’d like that,” he told her.
Eva closed her eyes and let herself be held by the man who loved her. Here, in Donovan’s arms, she could forget about the rest of the world.
“Two, four, six, eight, who shouldn’t be getting married?”
“Ellery! Ellery!”
“Well, fuck,” Donovan sighed.
“What in the ever-living hell are they doing here?” Eva groaned. The remaining members of the Beautification Committee were shuffling about in a small circle on the sidewalk in front of Ellery’s house. Willa, dressed as what Eva could only assume was a rubber chicken, held a sign that read “Caution: Match Not Approved.” Bruce and Amethyst, in matching clown outfits, were lugging around a banner that simply said “SHAME.”
Wilson, the diminutive jeweler, carried a sign for his jewelry store. He was dressed as a garden gnome. Or a fairytale dwarf. Eva wasn’t sure which.
Bobby stood off to the side in her pizza delivery costume, looking first at the protestors and then the gathering wedding guests. Finally, after what looked like monumental inner conflict, she picked up her sign.
I’m not with them. Congratulations, Ellery & Mason.
“This is about to go horribly wrong,” Eva whispered.
“Bobby, what exactly do you think you’re doing?” Amethyst stormed toward Bobby, her happy clown face hiding her frown. Her clown shoes made squeak noises on the sidewalk.
Ellery’s front door flew open, rebounding against the front wall of the house. Ellery, in yards of white lace and an honest-to-goodness veil, stood hands-on-hips, glaring at the uninvited guests.
“Uh-oh,” Donovan said under his breath.
The bride stormed down the stairs toward the Beautification Committee.
Donovan gave a warning whistle, and Carter, Beckett, Jax, and Niko arranged themselves between the protestors and the angry bride. It was a dramatic faceoff considering the costumes. Beckett was dressed as George Washington complete with white powder wig. Carter in his crushed velvet pirate overcoat and tricorner hat stood next to Niko Frankenstein.
Jax was decked out as a German beer wench. “What?” he asked, noting the attention. “I lost a bet.” He shrugged his bare shoulders and adjusted his sock boobs.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Ellery demanded, peering over Jax’s shoulder.
“We’re protesting an unfit match,” Bruce said proudly.
“And I’m protesting their protest,” Bobby piped up.
“Oh, this is bad,” Eva muttered.
Joey growled at her side. “We’re not letting these jackwagons ruin Ellery’s wedding.” In a nod to the holiday, she’d gone the cowgirl route with an ankle length duster, jeans, and checkered shirt.
“Doesn’t Jax have a thing for cowgirls?” Eva asked.
Joey smirked. “Yeah, but unfortunately for him, I don’t have a thing for beer wenches. Did you get a load of Emma’s outfit?”
Eva grinned. “The mummy?” Emma was wearing a ragged white mini dress that looked like it had been fashioned out of bandages. “Niko’s in for one hell of a surprise tonight .”
“Yeah, well, let’s try to keep the rest of the freaking to a minimum,” Summer said, pointing at Ellery who had her fingers to her temples and was humming as she stared daggers at Bruce.
“I’m not sure if the woman dressed as a bride should be the one to tell the bride to calm down,” Gia pointed out.
Summer grimaced and looked down at the crocheted white dress. “I was going for a hippie bride,” she said, touching the ring of flowers on her head. “Gotta admit, it never occurred to me that Ellery would actually dress like a traditional bride.”
“I don’t think anyone saw that coming,” Gia agreed.
“Just like no one would ever guess you were going as a witch again.” Joey rolled her eyes.
“Hey, your guy likes cowgirls. Mine likes witches. Especially since it was Halloween the first time we had sex in his secret passage. So neener.” Gia stuck her tongue out.
“Okay, everyone is sexy and creative. Can we please go prevent Ellery from imploding Bruce’s brain?” Eva sighed.
While Beckett and Donovan tried to talk sense into the Beautification Committee, Eva and company tried to distract Ellery. Summer pressed a cup of corpse reviver into the Ellery’s hand before the bride could punch someone on her wedding day.
“So, Ellery. Your dress is beautiful but not at all what I was expecting.”
Ellery gave up trying to voodoo Bruce with her eyes. She looked down at her dress, ran black fingernails over the ivory lace. “Do you think Mason will like it? I wanted to wear something that would make him happy.”
“I’m pretty sure he loves you exactly the way you are,” Emma pointed out. “He’s head over heels for you.”
“Yeah, but it’s our wedding day. The most important day of our lives. I want Mason to look back and see the bride he always wanted.”
“See? This drama right here is why Jax was a freaking genius and planned the whole thing without me,” Joey said, waving her hand in a circle. “I’d lose my shit.”
“I’m about to,” Ellery said, narrowing her eyes at the protestors that seemed even louder than before.
Gia and Eva stepped in front of Ellery.
Anthony Berkowicz, camera in hand, popped up next to them like a Whack-A-Mole and fired off several shots. “Dammit, Anthony! I hired you to shoot the wedding, not this!” Ellery moaned.
“Gotta capture the full story! This is news,” he said, capturing another dozen stills of Bruce and Beckett arguing.
Niko peeled off from the men and joined their little circle. “That’s a nice camera, Anthony. Mind if I take a look?”
“Oh sure,” Anthony said eagerly handing it over. “It’s a DSLR with twenty-two megapixels—hey!”
Niko gave Anthony a light shove and turned the camera back on Ellery. “Let’s see a smile from the gorgeous bride.”
Ellery beamed on command, and Niko snapped away.
“Ellery?”
They all turned as one, and Eva heard the quiet click of the shutter as Niko captured Mason’s first look at his bride.
“Mason?” Ellery gasped.
Eva slapped a hand over her mouth to hide her completely warranted gasp. Joey was less concerned about filtering her comments. “What the hell is this guy wearing?”
Mason, mild-mannered accountant and general sweetheart, was dressed to the nines in a tux and tails with black tie, black shirt, and precariously perched top hat. All looked as though they’d been rolled in the dirt of a fresh grave. His face was painted like he was a backup member of KISS, ghoulish white with black accents.
Bride and groom floated toward each other as the entire crowd hushed.
“You look—” they both began.
“You don’t look like you,” Ellery said, running a finger over Mason’s face paint.
“I wanted to look good for you,” he said, taking her hands in his.
“You did this for me?” Ellery asked, tears filling her eyes.
Emma grabbed Eva’s arm and sniffled. “So beautiful,” she whispered.
Pregnancy hormones had taken her stalwart sister hostage.
“Keep it together,” Eva hissed.
Mason nodded. “And you’re wearing this for me?”
Ellery’s deep violet lips curved. She wiped a tear away with the lace of her glove. “I thought you’d want a bride on your wedding day.”
“I love you just the way you are,” Mason said, tenderly brushing another tear off her cheek.
A collective “awh” rose up from the spectators.
“Hang on! Now just hang on one minute.” Bruce pushed his way through the crowd. “You mean to tell me that you love this man so much you’d dress up as a traditional bride on your favorite day of the year?”
Ellery nodded.
“And you,” he pointed a clown finger at Mason’s ghoulish face. “You did this… this corpse groom weirdo look for her?”
“Sure did.” Mason’s head bobbed until Eva thought he might lose his hat. “She deserves a wedding day to remember forever.”
“Beautification Committee assemble,” Bruce screeched.
Eva and Gia shared a glance and shrugged. The Beautification Committee members huddled up like an offensive line under a tree decked out with fake sparkly tarantulas.
“We may have slightly misjudged this relationship,” Bruce announced.
“Gee. You think?” Bobby rolled her eyes.
“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. It’s happened once before. I think what we witnessed here really takes us into Article Seventeen, Sub-Section L.”
Eva glanced around the circle at the nodding heads. “What’s in Sub-Section L?”
“Well, essentially it’s an emergency dispensation,” Bruce said.
“Meaning?” Gia asked.
“Meaning, the Beautification Committee would grant an immediate, unrescindable approval,” Wilson explained through his canary costume beak.
“I second the motion,” Eva said quickly.
“Third,” Gia jumped in.
“All in favor of granting an emergency dispensation in the matching of Ellery Cozumopolaus and Mason Smith?”
“And reinstating Ellery to the Beautification Committee,” Bobby added.
The ayes were unanimous.