Amie

Over the weeks leading up to the engagement party Lex and I do exactly what we did in Bora Bora; we spend time together. We’re dating. In secret, but still dating. It’s made that much easier because of Mimi’s elaborate engagement party plans. The whole thing has taken far longer to organize than I expected, and since Lex and I are co-organizers, no one questions it—much.

Lex seems to enjoy testing my self-control on a regular basis. It really hasn’t improved much. Although, last time I made it a full seventy-three minutes before I finally gave in, which was a real feat since he came to my apartment and sat on my couch, looking hot in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. And he was wearing his glasses. I made him keep them on, even though they fogged up when he went down on me.

I’m frustrated that we still have to hide since Armstrong continues to find reasons not to sign the annulment papers. There seems to be no other purpose than his enjoyment of my suffering.

But tonight I’m not worrying about Armstrong being difficult. Ruby and Bane’s engagement party has finally arrived and we’re all staying at the hotel, because it’s easier and it makes the most sense. Also, the penthouse suites are to die for. I check my phone as messages flood in from Ruby, who’s panicked over this whole thing. She’s used to being the center of attention, but not like this.

Except this time it’s not Ruby, it’s Lex, regarding early check-in at the hotel. He’s suggesting we go now, so we have some extra time before everyone else shows up. It seems smart, especially when he spins it as a pre-engagement party de-stressing meeting that will take place on one of the enormous king-size beds.

I gather my things, call an Uber, and head to street level. Lex texts me his room number. I have my own for the sake of appearances, but that’s its only purpose. I feel bad that a room costing a thousand dollars a night will be wasted, but we can have sex in there later so it’s not a complete waste of a room.

Excitement makes my fingers tremble as I collect my key card from the concierge, then wait for the elevator. I check my reflection in the mirror. This is far more than orgasm anticipation, and if I’m completely honest with myself, it’s been more than that since Bora Bora, I just wasn’t ready to accept it. I see him at least three times a week, but the secrecy is becoming difficult to manage. We both struggle to maintain distance from each other when we’re in the presence of our friends and his family.

My heart speeds up as the elevator dings and the doors open. I drop my things in my room, unlock the adjoining door, and knock. The way my lips curve up in a smile that matches his when he opens the door for me tells me how deep I’m in.

I barely have a chance to cross the threshold before I’m in his arms, his lips on mine. Lex tugs on the tie at my waist and quickly unbuttons my coat, parting the fabric. He freezes, eyes sliding hotly down my body. “Fuck, Amie. This is how you left your apartment?”

I’m wearing a demi bra in lilac with matching lace garters, panties, and nothing else. My dress is in the garment bag tossed carelessly on my bed. “I was in a rush, I thought I’d get dressed here.”

“I don’t know whether I want to spank you or fuck you.”

I lace my fingers with his, tugging him toward the bed. “How about you do both?”

* * *

Sometime later I’m lying on the comforter of the king-sized bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to catch my breath. Lex is using the space between my breasts as a pillow.

“Don’t expect to get a lot of sleep tonight.” He nuzzles in a bit more.

“What time do we have to check out tomorrow?” I attempt to smooth his messed-up hair. I think he’s probably going to have to wash it to fix it with how much my fingers were in it.

“Whenever I feel like it.” He kisses between my breasts. “We could stay here all weekend, order room service, pretend we’re in Bora Bora without the sand and sun.”

“I like that idea.” My bra and garters never came off, and I’m still wearing my panties since Lex only moved them to the side, so it’s just a matter of putting on my dress—although I’m a little dewy from the exertion, so a quick wipe down with a wash cloth might be helpful. “I should probably think about putting some clothes on.”

Before Lex has a chance to respond, there’s a knock at his door.

“Did you order room service?” I ask.

He shakes his head and nabs his phone from the nightstand. “Ah, hell.” It’s blowing up with messages.

The knock comes again, harder this time, followed by grumbling and then, “I know you’re here, Lex. I checked with the front desk.”

It’s Bane. I meet Lex’s gaze, the panic in his expression matching mine.

Suddenly, Lex’s phone rings. “Shit.” He fumbles around to silence it, but it’s too late.

“Get dressed so we can deal with this.” I push him off me and rush across the room, slipping through the adjoining door, grateful I had the foresight to go to my own damn room first, otherwise there would be no way to hide this.

“Open the damn door, Lex. We have an issue with catering and Amie isn’t answering her phone and Ruby’s freaking out. We need one or both of you before my fiancée has a total meltdown.”

Ruby is usually pretty calm in the face of stress, but this whole thing is beyond her comfort zone. I feel horrible as I pull my phone from my purse to find six missed calls and at least twenty messages from her, all in the past thirty minutes. I’m a terrible best friend.

“I have a master key. If you don’t open this door in the next thirty seconds I’m coming in,” he threatens.

“Gimme a sec,” Lex calls out.

I rush to my own bathroom and quickly wipe down with a washcloth, then jab my legs into my dress while texting a panicked Ruby back.

Over the past several weeks, there have been some close calls. More than what’s reasonable for two people who are trying to avoid involving more people than necessary in the secrecy. And if I’m honest, I kind of like that this is our thing. That we don’t have to deal with the gossip and the questions that will eventually come with going public.

I don’t want this to be the way Ruby or Bane finds out Lex and I are sleeping with each other. I hadn’t expected Armstrong to draw the annulment out so long. I thought it would done long before this and that Lex and I would eventually be able to stop hiding from everyone. And now my selfishness and the secrecy are causing my best friend unnecessary stress.

As I shimmy into my dress, I hear Bane and Lex talking, their voices muffled. I’m not even sure I closed the door all the way.

“Why the hell are you half-dressed? What’s going on with your hair?” Bane snaps. “Why does it smell like sex in here?”

“It doesn’t smell like sex.”

“Don’t bullshit me. I know what sex smells like.” Bane sounds incredulous. “Why’s your bed all messed up? You better not be bringing a date with you. Where’s Amie?” I can feel my face heating at Bane’s questions.

“I took a nap when I got here because I’ve been pulling long hours at work. What’s the deal? Why are you all over my ass?”

There’s silence from Bane for a few long seconds. “I don’t know, man. You’ve been spending a lot of time with Amie lately. I hope you haven’t forgotten that she’s still married to our asshole cousin. You remember who he is, right? The same guy who’s spent most of his life fucking with you because he can. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Are you serious with this?”

“Come on, Lex. You can’t tell me I don’t have a right to be worried what with you and Armstrong and the competitive bullshit you’ve pulled on each other. If something’s going on, you better hope he doesn’t find out, or he’s going to make Amie’s life more miserable than it already is—”

Bane is cut off by my phone. It’s Ruby. I start with an apology. “I’m so sorry I missed your calls.” I hate that I’ve done this to her, especially when she’s been such a huge support for me through all of this Armstrong crap. “I’m in my room, do you want me to come to you or do you want to come here?”

“Thank God you’re here. You have all the makeup right? Can you hide tear stains?” Ruby’s on edge.

“I’ll fix everything, don’t worry.”

I should’ve gone straight to the hall when I arrived, to check on things, but I was too focused on myself and what I wanted. I’m angry for letting this happen.

There’s a knock on the adjoining door between mine and Lex’s room before it swings open. Bane stands in the doorway wearing a suspicious frown with an anxious Lex behind him. I force a smile, aware nothing here looks innocent and avoid making eye contact with Lex. “Ruby’s on her way here. I can take care of makeup and calming her down if you can take care of catering. Lex and I went through everything last week, so I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding.”

“I really hope so.” Bane looks between me and his brother.

“I’m sorry.” The knock at my door means I don’t have to elaborate on the why. As soon as I turn the lock, Ruby comes barreling into my room, laden with what appears to be the entire contents of her closet.

I take most of it from her and dump it on the bed, making sure I’m careful with her garment bag so her dress doesn’t wrinkle.

Ruby startles when she sees Bane standing in the middle of the doorway connecting the rooms. “I thought you were going to find Lex.”

“I did.”

“Oh.” Ruby glances between us.

“Hey Ruby, catering is waiting on us. I think Amie is right and that it’s just a misunderstanding. Bane and I will sort it out. Text if you need anything?” Lex looks uncomfortable and guilty.

Ruby grabs Bane’s sleeve before he can leave. “Let me know when you get the catering stuff figured out so I can stop worrying.”

He cups her face in his palms and drops a gentle kiss on her lips. They’re so in love. Always touching, always close, as if they’re orbiting each other. I wish it could be like that for Lex and me. “You got it, babe, I’m sure they’re right about it being a misunderstanding. You get ready with Amie. I’ll have champagne and orange juice sent up, along with an antipasto platter.” He glances at me and gives me the don’t-let-her-get-drunk look. I nod, so he knows I understand.

As soon as he’s gone I make Ruby lie on the bed and use the cold compresses that work like magic on swelling while I set up a chair by the window so I have natural light for makeup prep. “Are you okay?” I flip my case open and start setting up.

She lifts the cloth to peek out at me. “This is just a lot, like more than I expected, you know? There’s just so much to take care of, and so many people will be here. I think the guest list is something like three hundred people.”

I pat her ankle. “You perform in front of almost three times as many people five nights a week, Ruby. You’ll be fine.”

“That’s different. I’m not being me, I’m someone else. This is like the worst case of stage fright ever.”

“You’re lovely and charming and charismatic, just like Bane. You’ll be fabulous tonight. Think of this like a dress rehearsal. Take a few deep breaths and let all the anxiety out.” I wish that would work for me.

She inhales and exhales deeply a few times. “I honestly have no idea how you survived your engagement party and a wedding with Gwendolyn up your ass. Mimi is sweet as pie and I’m still overwhelmed.”

“Well, I’m clearly adept at dealing with dicks since I married one and all.”

She makes a sympathetic face. “I can’t believe he still hasn’t signed the annulment papers.”

“Last time he changed one paragraph, tried to swap it out like no one would notice. That seems to be his current strategy. You’d think he’d realize by now I’m not interested in spending the rest of my life with someone who can’t even remain faithful through the wedding reception.” I lift the cloth and check her eyes; the puffiness has gone down enough that we should be able to get started. Ruby has flawless skin, so makeup won’t take long. “You can have a seat by the window.”

She rolls off the bed and drops into the chair, checking her reflection in the compact on the table. “I wasn’t his biggest fan, but this is a whole new level of jerk.”

“The dickishness was always there, I guess I just glossed over it until I got slapped in the face with it.”

“He did a decent job of masking it with a pretty anal-retentive veneer.”

“I just figured he had to be better than any of the guys I previously dated, considering how poor those choices were, right? And on the outside he was.” I sigh softly. “Anyway, he doesn’t really have a reason not to sign the papers other than to prolong the inevitable, so hopefully he gives up soon.”

“I don’t see why he would still be holding out. Unless it has something to do with you and Lex.”

I almost fumble the under-eye concealer. “I’m sorry, what does Lex have to do with my annulment?”

Ruby gestures to the closed door that adjoins our rooms. “Seriously, Amie? Pretty convenient that you have a door connecting your rooms to each other. Didn’t Lex book your room?”

“He booked all the rooms.” I’m digging around in my bag, pulling out every single color of eyeliner and brow liner I have, setting them on the table with my back to her.

She grabs my wrist. “What’s going on, Amie?”

I stop avoiding her gaze—well, mostly; I’m looking at her eyelids rather than directly into her eyes. It’s a trick I learned with my parents as a teen. It makes the lies far more convincing. “What do you mean?”

“You and Lex are spending a lot of time together. We’ve all noticed.”

“Well we’ve been planning the engagement party.” I’m far too pitchy.

“Are you sleeping with him?” Leave it to Ruby to just come out and ask the question.

“Why would you think that?” Dammit. Now I sound like I’ve been sucking on helium.

Her mouth drops open. “You totally are.”

“I’m not.” I have no idea why I bother to lie, apart from maybe habit and the compulsion to keep this a secret.

“Don’t even. I know when you’re lying.” She stares at me for a few long seconds before she asks, “How long has this been going on?”

I do what I do best. Avoid. “It’s not really a thing. I mean, it’s just—I don’t—we should keep the focus where it belongs.”

Ruby laughs. “Oh, no. You can pull that on your mother, but you sure as hell can’t pull it on me. How long?” She looks angry and maybe annoyed, and a bit hurt.

This is not the time to get Ruby all worked up, since she’s already most of the way there thanks to the catering issues.

“Oh my god. Oh my god!” Ruby’s expression becomes even more animated, she grabs my arm as if she’s preparing for an epic descent on a roller coaster. “Did you sleep with him in Bora Bora? Is he Hottie Hook-Up?”

A knock at the door delays my response. I rush to get it, grateful for the interruption. I suppose I’m being forced into telling her the truth, which wouldn’t be so much of an issue if I hadn’t been hiding this from her for months now. She’s going to be hurt, and understandably so.

It’s room service with our champagne and orange juice. I’ve never been so thankful for alcohol in my entire life. Ruby’s silent while he shows us the bottle and takes his time pouring. Then she throws money at him and practically pushes him out of the room.

As soon as the door closes she spins around. “You kept this from me the entire time? What’s it been, like four months? Have you been sleeping with each other this whole time?”

I drop onto the bed with a sigh. “It wasn’t intentional. And it wasn’t really supposed to be anything beyond Bora Bora.”

“So what happened? And why keep it from me? I wouldn’t have said anything to anyone.”

“He’s Bane’s brother and Armstrong’s cousin. It’s a complicated situation made more complicated by the fact that I’m still married to Armstrong. I honestly didn’t think he was going to drag this out for so long and Lex and I thought it would be better to keep it between us until the annulment went through to avoid more complications. I couldn’t ask you to keep this from Bane. That’s not fair when he’s your person and Lex is his brother.”

“You’re my person, too.”

I try to reason with her. “I’m your best girl. He’s the rest of your life, it’s not the same.”

She purses her lips. “You’re my other person.”

“I know. And that’s why I didn’t tell you, because I didn’t want to put you in the middle of your two people. Bane will always be your first priority now, Ruby, as he should be. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to keep something from him.”

Ruby waves her hand around in the air and takes a hefty swig of champagne. “Bane’s been pretty suspicious for a while. I just figured you would’ve told me if you were sleeping together . . . is that what is this? Are you just . . . sleeping together?”

“It was supposed to be a fling. We meant for it to end when I left Bora Bora.”

“But clearly it didn’t. Did you stay in touch when you came home and he went to California?”

I shake my head no. “I was really conflicted. I mean, I was still married, and still am, even if it’s just a signature on a piece of paper that’s tying us together. Then I ran into Lex in a coffee shop and he ended up taking me back to work in his car . . . but I didn’t see him again for weeks. Not until after you got engaged—”

“Did you two get it on at the engagement planning dinner?”

I shake my head. “No, we were just talking—well and kissing, but it was mostly talking . . . later though—”

“I knew it!” Her smile drops. “That was almost two months ago.”

“I really didn’t think I would still be waiting for the annulment to go through. And I wasn’t sure exactly where it was going between us.”

“So where is it going?”

I sigh. “I don’t know. We’re covert dating for now.”

I can feel Ruby’s eyes on me. It’s not good. She knows me better than anyone else in this world. Better than my family. She’s been instrumental in almost every fabrication or lie I’ve concocted to get me out of trouble. This time there doesn’t seem to be a good out. “Do you have feelings for Lex? Like feeling feelings.”

We spend a lot of time together, just as much clothed as unclothed, and while we talk, Lex never mentions the future, because right now we’re stuck in the present. “I think so.”

“You think you have feelings for him?”

“For a while I wasn’t sure if I could trust them or not. Look at the man I married. He seemed perfect. Or I wanted him to be. I ticked all the right boxes with him and look at how horribly that turned out. Sometimes I worry that I’m projecting an ideal onto Lex like I did with Armstrong. Like I’ve made him into this savior and it’s all going to fall apart on me as soon as the marriage is annulled.”

I do know with absolute certainty that Armstrong was never right for me. I’d just made so many bad boyfriend choices before him—ones that had nearly caused scandals for my family. As a teenager I made bad choices as a means to force my parents to deal with me together instead of separately. Besides, it wasn’t like I ever wanted to get serious with any of those bad choices.

“How’s the sex?” Ruby asks.

“What?”

“The sex, how is it?”

I’m not sure why the sudden shift in topic, but my reply comes without hesitation. “Beyond amazing.”

Her eyebrow lifts. “Lots of orgasms?”

“Countless.”

“So it’s safe to say you’re not projecting the ideal of awesome sex.”

“Phenomenal sex isn’t going to make Armstrong sign the annulment papers. Until I’m free of him, this needs to stay under the radar.”

“Good luck with that.”

I ignore the barb and switch positions with Ruby so I can resume primer application. After a few moments, I ask the question that’s been eating at me since I overheard that conversation between Lex and Bane. “Do you know much about the competitive stuff between Lex and Armstrong?”

“I know they used to be best friends as kids and that they were always competitive with each other.”

“With sports and stuff, right? They used to mess with each other, it’s how Lex got those scars on his back.”

Ruby nods. “Oh yeah, the bridge jumping accident.”

“Bridge jumping? I thought it was a swimming accident. Lex mentioned something about a river.”

“It was a swimming accident. They were bridge jumping into a river and Lex had to go in after Armstrong. It caused a big rift in the family. Gwendolyn and Mimi had a falling out for a while. Apparently it was bad. I don’t have all the details. Anyway, Bane said after that the competition took a nasty turn. They’d go after the girls each other liked, sabotage each other. It got worse in college until Lex just had enough, and stopped playing into it. I think it got really bad for a while, though.”

I frown, filtering through the conversations Lex and I have had over the months we’ve been doing this. As much as we talk, he’s never really gone into detail about his disdain for Armstrong. “What do you mean they’d go after the girls each other liked?”

“Like whenever Lex liked a girl back in high school, Armstrong would find a way to interfere. He’d ask her out before Lex could, or do something shitty to screw it up for Lex. I guess when it pissed Lex off enough, he started to do the same thing back. It escalated, but after a while it stopped, mainly because Lex stopped feeding into it I guess.”

I think about the night I met Lex, the same night Armstrong formally asked me on a date. Had I been part of a competition back then? Was I still part of one now?

Ruby touches my wrist. “Amie? Are you okay?”

“I met Lex the same night Armstrong asked me out.”

“I don’t understand.”

“The night Armstrong asked me out, Lex was there. He introduced himself to me first, it was . . . intense. He offered to get me a drink, and when he did, Armstrong came over and asked me to dance. He told me he was saving me from making a bad decision with Lex, then he asked me out.”

I can see Ruby putting it together. “Armstrong wouldn’t have married you to win a stupid competition.”

“I really hope you’re right about that.” As I sift through memories, putting together the times Lex and Armstrong were in the same room before we were engaged, and after, how protective he was, how touchy, how condescending he was with Lex and how Lex just seemed to take it. And then the wedding and Bora Bora happened.

I should’ve asked this question ages ago, of either Armstrong or Lex, although I doubt I would’ve gotten a truthful answer from Armstrong. Maybe not Lex, either. Now I have to wonder how deep their hatred for each other runs, and if it’s enough to make me nothing more than a pawn in a game.