CHAPTER 18
Kylie
I took in a deep breath as I stood in front of Tony’s house. Nothing much had changed about this place. The light bulb in the porch wasn’t fixed, the mesh door swung open, the porch steps were littered with beer cans and cigarette butts and Tony’s Harley was parked outside, next to his beaten up green truck.
I thought I was prepared for this. Prepared to come back but with every step I took, my mind whirled with flashbacks. About how miserable I had been in this house, how pathetic my life had been, how Carter would have turned out if I had stayed.
I walked up the porch and stood outside the swinging mesh door and peered inside. There was one light switched on somewhere in the house, not bright enough for me to see clearly. The sound of heavy metal emanated and when I stuck my head inside, I got a whiff of the strong sweet-and-sour stench of stale alcohol.
I stepped in, glad that I wasn’t wearing heels today in case I had to run. The floorboards creaked under my sandals and I realized that I was instantly surrounded by smoke. I could sense that Tony was in there, and he was smoking weed.
I knew the layout of the house. Even though I hadn’t stepped inside this place in three years, it was etched terrifyingly in my memory. I was following the sound of the music and figured that Tony was in the living room. Then I heard his voice and I stopped in my tracks. He was cursing loudly. He was drinking, but at least he was alone.
When I reached the doorway of the living room, I saw him sprawled out on his tattered couch. The room was dark except for the TV switched on with porn playing on the screen on mute. Tony’s arm was dangling off the couch and he was cradling a can of beer in his other hand, which he had placed on his belly. He was developing a beer gut which I hadn’t noticed till now. How could he even imagine that Carter would want to live in a filthy place like this? At least when I lived here, and even though I was a young girl myself, I had managed to keep this place reasonably hygienic.
“Tony!” I called out to him, over the thumping music. He hadn’t noticed me yet but at the sound of my voice, he looked up. There was a snarl on his face while he was staring at the screen, and now his eyes glowed. He was grinning.
“Kylie! Didn’t take you long,” he bellowed over the music, then leaned over to turn the volume down on the stereo. It was still loud but at least we could have a conversation now without me losing my voice.
I remained at the doorway, my shoulders quaking with apprehension and fear. He was looking me over again, at my breasts, at the spot between my legs, then back up at my face. He was trying to make me feel like a piece of ass, but I wouldn’t let him.
“Come for a piece of this?” he snarled with a laugh and grabbed his crotch menacingly. I looked away from him, suddenly aware that I had made a bad decision. What was I thinking in assuming that I could simply talk to him? That I would somehow be able to reason with him? But now it was too late, he had seen me and he wasn’t going to let me go till he got what he wanted.
“I came to talk things over with you, Tony, about Carter,” I said and I felt my body shake slightly when I saw him standing up. He was slightly unsteady on his feet as he stumbled over to the crate of beer and picked up another can, crushing the older one in his hand which he discarded directly on the floor.
“You love talking don’t you babe? You’ve always loved talking. But you know what? I don’t give a fuck about your feelings” he growled at me, popping the can open and pouring the beer down his throat in one quick motion.
I gulped as I watched him. I had made a horrible mistake. I should have just stayed at Hunter’s apartment, or at least told him where I was going. I felt my pulse quicken as I quickly looked around for a way out.
“Okay, I’ll go then,” I said and I turned my body to face the door.
With one quick movement, Tony had his arm around my neck and he yanked me back into the living room as I screeched, my screams drowning under the sound of the heavy music.
His mouth was at my ear, his arm was holding me in place while I tried to claw at him.
“You’re going nowhere you little bitch,” he snarled into my ear and I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I thought I was going to get away. I thought I’d be able to make my escape.
Tony dragged me back into the room, keeping his arm tightly on my neck, while he dragged the warm can of beer up and down my arm. He was sleazy, creepy in his touch and I could sense what he wanted. I was shuddering in his grip, trying to hold back the tears.
“Tony…please…Carter can’t live here. You have to understand that,” I tried reasoning with him and he only tightened his arm around my neck.
“Shut the fuck up!” he barked and I could feel my windpipe slowly crushing. It was getting harder for me to breathe with every passing second. I tried desperately to scratch his arm to free it from my neck, but it was useless.
“Tony…he needs his mother. You can’t take care of him the way I do,” I pleaded with him and he finally released his grip on my throat. I nearly toppled to the ground, coughing to cover up the feeling of choking. I stepped unsteadily away from him, as he emptied the beer down his throat. Then he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and went for another one.
I was watching him with narrowed eyes. I was afraid of him, afraid of what more he could do to me, but I wasn’t going to run away from him either. I’d had enough of being frightened by him. I watched his movements and could tell that he was getting more intoxicated by the minute. My only chance to get out of here would be for him to pass out. If I could just hold on for that long.
“He needs his father you bitch! You have no idea what you’re talking about! He’s my son!” he yelled and thumped his fist on his chest. I watched him, with more tears welling up in my eyes. Nobody knew this more than I did; that my son was also this monster’s.
“But he can’t live this life,” I said, trying to keep my head up.
“This is the best life he can have. He will be a man. He will know what power is!” Tony continued to howl and my nostrils flared. I could feel my blood boiling under my skin.
“You are nothing but a monster. A coward. Taking your weakness out on women and children and young girls. You are nothing!” I spat out.
Tony’s punch came out of nowhere. I didn’t even realize that he was standing so close to me. I’d taken these punches before, throughout my pregnancy when each time I thought I had lost my baby. This time, his knuckles hit my left jaw and my face snapped in the other direction. I could already taste the metallic flavor of blood in my mouth. This one was going to leave a bruise, almost as bad as the ones before. I fell onto my knees on the floor.
Tony drank some more of his beer, tried to steady himself on his feet again and glared at me from under his heavy beer-fueled lids. His shoulders were heaving, his beer gut was stretching his cotton t-shirt. I knew I was going to be sick, or severely injured. But I couldn’t run, not yet. He could catch me the second that I tried.
“Carter deserves better than to watch his mother being beaten up by his loser father,” I snarled and Tony came up to me again. I cowered and he grabbed me by my hair, bunching up my curls as he yanked my head backwards, glaring into my eyes.
“He will learn that’s what you deserve. That his mother is nothing better than a tight pussy. This is what you need to stay under my control you little bitch. You need to be put in place. I should have locked you up here a long time ago. Before you could run off with my son!” Tony hissed and pushed my body hard. I toppled backwards, my body crashing against the wall. I felt the wind rush out of my chest and a sharp pain in my side. I felt like I was going to stop breathing, like I was going to be swallowed up by the ground. But right then, I could think of nothing but Carter.
“Stay away from my son!” I snarled, with whatever energy I had left in me. Tony cracked open another can of beer, poured it down his throat and then threw it up in the air. The liquid fizzled out of the can, spewing all over the floor. I could see that he was growing unsteadied on his feet by the minute.
“What are you going to do about it bitch? Me and my men are coming for him and nobody can stop us. Say your goodbyes,” he growled, but I could sense that his voice was becoming softer, his eyes was growing foggier. I glared at him, in the hopes that he would finally just pass out.
And he did. Tony ran his hands over his face, swaying on his feet as he tried to keep his balance. Then I watched in relief and shock as he swung to the ground, his big body crashing on the floor and he was out-cold within seconds. The sound of his howling snore filled the room, overwhelming even the music from the stereo.
I blinked, still in shock as I stared at his unconscious body.
Then the taste of the blood in my mouth reminded me of what I had to do. I had to get away from there.
I ran and didn’t look back.
Out of the house, the cool sea breeze brushed against my sweaty face as I hurried into my car.
In the rearview mirror, I looked at myself, conscious of not wanting to scare Carter but it was too late. My hair was in a tangle, my eyeliner was streaming in dark puddles down my cheeks, my pink lipstick was smudged terrifyingly around my mouth and a dark purple bruise was taking shape on the side of my jaw.
The center of my bottom lip was cut and that was where the blood was coming from. My throat was dry and I gulped nonetheless as I started my car. With a screech, I drove away as fast as I could. I never wanted to return. I never wanted to see that monster again. If it hadn’t been for the beer he was drinking, if he hadn’t passed out…I couldn’t be sure that he wouldn’t have just killed me to get to Carter. How could I have ever been with this man?!
I drove towards Hunter’s apartment, desperate to see Carter again, and I realized that I was desperate to see Hunter again too. He would know what had happened. There was no point in hiding it anymore. I had no sympathy for Tony left. I was determined to allow Hunter to do whatever he wanted to him.
The tears had stopped pouring down my cheeks by now. I could still feel a throbbing ache on the side of my face and neck, a burning sensation on my lip where it had split open…but my brows were crossed, my nostrils were flared, there was rage pouring down my eyes. I wasn’t afraid anymore. I wanted Tony to pay.
I wanted to make sure that he never got a chance to do this to me again, and that he or his friends never got a chance to come near Carter. And the only person who could help me, the only person I trusted; was Hunter.