Chapter Fourteen
After waiting in a long line to board the ship, Alisha did a quick, self-guided tour, then decided to get something to eat. Balancing a plate of food on one hand, she adjusted her purse on her shoulder and searched the busy lido deck restaurant for an empty table. She’d already checked the tables near the pool area. They were full as well. A man bumped into her, mumbling an excuse as he went. A group of teenage girls jostled her from the other side as they passed, one of them shooting her a glare as if Alisha had thrown herself intentionally in their way. Everything she’d read about cruises said that the first day was busy, but she was feeling overwhelmed and anxious for her room to be ready.
A blond-haired toddler ran straight into her and wrapped himself around her leg. A woman, with the same wild blond curls, rushed toward them. Clutching two plates in one hand and a large backpack in the other, she said, “Ethan, let go of that woman this instant.”
Ethan clung to Alisha tighter. “Ice meme. Ice meme.”
“No ice cream until after you eat your lunch. Come on.”
He shook his head. “Ice meme.”
Seeming as frazzled as Alisha felt, the woman looked up and said, “I’m so sorry. Could you follow us to our table? We’re right there. I’ll just put this down and grab him.”
Considering the octopus hold Ethan had on her thigh, Alisha didn’t see she had much of a choice. “Sure.”
As Alisha moved to follow her, Ethan almost fell off. She looked around for a place to put her plate so she would have a free hand to help him, but he righted himself and smiled. “Go. Go. Go. Pony. Go.”
She took another step, and he laughed and hung on, so she kept going. Alisha made it to the table where the woman was standing in time to hear her say to a man who was seated, “Yes, I need you. Look at Ethan. Do you think he should be doing that? Could you help me with him before you start eating?”
With an easy smile, the man unfolded himself from behind the table and bent down to talk to Ethan. “Let go of the nice lady, Ethan.”
“Ice meme.” His bottom lip jutted out.
The man reached over and started to pry Ethan off Alisha while saying, “I probably shouldn’t have mentioned dessert so soon. Let go, Ethan. And don’t you dare bite her.”
Alisha froze and handed her plate off to a passing staff member. She helped the father loosen the child’s hold. Ethan looked tired and about to cry. He sounded spoiled, but he probably felt as overwhelmed by the crowd as she did. Alisha sympathized with the little man and remembered something she had tucked into her purse the last week of school. “Would you like a sticker?”
His mouth rounded.
She dug in her purse. “I have puppies, kitties, and maybe even a Spider-Man.”
Ethan clapped.
“All you have to do is sit down with your mommy, and I’ll let you pick one. Would you like that?”
He nodded and climbed onto the bench beside his mother. Alisha laid out the stickers, and Ethan calmly chose one with a puppy on it.
“Wow,” the child’s mother said. “Are you someone’s nanny?”
Alisha straightened and smiled. “Kindergarten teacher.”
“Same thing,” the father said.
“Not really,” Alisha answered, but refused to elaborate on a topic that was one of her pet peeves. She had a job most people thought they could do, but only those who had ever done it, and done it well, understood the challenge. Comparing it to babysitting was insulting, but very few people understood that.
“You looked lost a moment ago. Who are you sitting with? Maybe we could help you find them,” a beautifully made-up brunette asked from the other end of the table.
“Thank you, but I’m alone,” Alisha said.
“Alone?” the blonde asked. Then cheerfully she said, “Well, not anymore. My name is Nadine. You’ve met my husband, Josh, and my son, Ethan, of course. Join us. We have two large tables. What’s your name?”
“Alisha, but I don’t want to intrude,” Alisha hedged.
The brunette stood and came around beside her. “Are you kidding? We love meeting new people. Nadine and her husband renew their vows on a cruise every year.”
Oh boy, a bride who can’t let go of her wedding day. I thought they only existed on TV.
“My name is Brandi.” She motioned toward the man in a bright Hawaiian shirt. “That’s my husband. Freddy, come meet Alisha.”
Alisha shook his hand, then the hands of eight more people, whose names evaporated as quickly as they were spoken. Parents, grandparents, cousins, friends. Before she had a chance to say no again, she was seated in the middle of them while someone went off to the buffet to get her a hamburger and lemonade she hadn’t asked for.
“I know we sound crazy, but it makes us happy, and that’s what matters, isn’t it?” Nadine asked, then looked Alisha over expectantly. “Are you celebrating anything?”
“No,” Alisha answered with a forced smile.
“Who are you here with?” Brandi asked as she scooted closer.
Nadine referenced the table of people near them. “We sometimes come alone, but this time we brought the whole gang since it’s our ten-year anniversary.”
“Just me.”
“Just you?” Nadine’s eyes rounded. “You mean for the whole cruise?” Brandi looked equally shocked.
“The whole thing.”
There was a painfully sympathetic pause in the conversation.
“Well, that’s nice,” Brandi said in a supportive tone. “It frees you up for possibilities.” She turned to her husband. “Your cousin Henry didn’t bring his girlfriend. Did they break up?”
Alisha accepted the burger and drink that were handed to her and said, “I’m not looking to meet anyone.”
Nadine fed a slice of apple to Ethan while nodding. “That recent, huh? Was it serious?”
Oh, what the hell? It’s not like I’ll ever see these people again after this trip. Who cares what they know or think of me? “I was engaged.”
“That’s awful,” Nadine said. “But you’re doing the right thing. You shouldn’t stay home and wallow when something like that happens. It just makes it hurt more. Did he cheat on you? I was engaged before Josh. The loser slept with my roommate. Remember that, Brandi? I was heartbroken. But he did me a favor. I met Josh a month later. So don’t waste another thought on that douche. You’re better off without him.”
Ethan said, “Douche. Douche. Douche.”
Nadine picked him up and handed him off to her husband. “He’s ready for ice cream.”
“Ice meme!” Ethan exclaimed.
Josh laughed and took him. “I’ll take him for a walk to get some, then check if the room is ready. If it is, I’ll change him and take him down to the water park for a bit.”
Nadine stood and kissed her husband briefly. “Are you sure?”
He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “If I tire him out now, he’ll sleep for your mother later. We can leave him with her for a few hours.”
Nadine laughed and swatted her husband’s behind. “So we can go dancing?”
“Whatever you want to call it,” he joked, then winked and walked away with his son in his arms.
“Men,” Nadine said as she returned to her seat, but she was smiling. She looked across at Alisha. “I’m sorry to hear about your engagement.”
“It’s okay.” It wasn’t the broken engagement that had her suddenly feeling melancholy. Watching Nadine flirt with her husband inspired unwelcome visions of Brett.
Brett definitely had an imposing presence. She could imagine him intimidating a room of businessmen if he wanted to, but she’d also seen another side to him. He could be gentle and thoughtful. He was also often surprisingly funny.
He’d probably make a great husband one day.
Once again what she knew about him didn’t match her experience of him. She remembered Rachelle once commenting on a photo of Brett that had shown up online. He’d attended one of Eric’s movie premieres with a well-known actress on his arm. Rachelle had said she didn’t bother to try and keep up with who he was dating, because none of them lasted long anyway.
Which is the real Brett?
And since when do I care if a man is marriage material? I don’t need one to make my life complete.
Still, it was difficult to meet a family like Josh, Nadine, and Ethan and not wish that kind of love was possible in her life.
Why am I torturing myself like this? Brett isn’t looking for a relationship with me. At most, he wants sex. He’s probably not used to women who say no to him. I was a challenge to him, that’s all. One that will likely be replaced by the time I return home.
Enough of feeling sorry for myself. I have a cruise to enjoy.
She checked her Fitbit and said, “Look at the time. I need to see guest services about something. I should probably head over there now.” She worked her way out from the table and stood.
Brandi got up and hugged her briefly. “You are not alone on this cruise, honey. You have friends now. While you’re at guest services, ask if they can move you to sit with us.” She wrote her name on a paper napkin and handed it to Alisha. “Or just come over if you see us. We’re forty people altogether. There’s always some who don’t make it to dinner. We’d love to have you.”
“That’s so kind, thank you.” Alisha tucked the napkin into her purse. At that moment she had no desire to join them, but it was a long cruise. Who knows? Right now all I want is to be alone, but maybe I’ll be begging for company in a few days. “It was very nice to meet you—all of you.” She gave the group a general smile and a wave, and walked away.
An announcement stated that the rooms were ready, so she made her way to hers. She attended a muster where she and the other passengers were instructed on what to do in case of an emergency. Afterward, she ended her subsequent stroll around the ship when she thought she saw Brett getting into an elevator.
I have to stop thinking about him or I’ll never enjoy myself.
She returned to her room, showered, changed, and headed down for the early dinner in her assigned dining room. When she gave her ID key to the receptionist, the woman said, “It looks like your assignment has been changed. I’ll have someone show you to your new table.” She waved a staff member over to her and spoke to her on the side.
New table? As in with Brandi and Nadine’s group? No. It can’t be. I never gave them my last name. She scanned the room and cringed when she saw that very group, now more than doubled in size, seated in the direction the receptionist pointed toward.
“Is there a way to refuse without appearing rude?” Alisha asked the staff member who was holding the menus.
“Refuse?”
“Yes. Is there a problem with my original table? Could I still sit there?”
Across the room, Brandi stood and waved. “Alisha.”
Alisha waved back, but directed her comment to the staff member. “I’d love to join them another night, but not tonight.”
“That party?” In scanning the room, the receptionist saw the woman waving to Alisha, and said, “That’s not where I was told to take you.”
Thank God. Alisha felt awful thinking it. She normally loved getting to know new people, but this was her week to escape. To hide. She could have stayed home if she wanted to pretend to be happy. She wanted to simply be by herself for a few days and not have to worry how anyone else felt, what they thought, or if they considered her responsible for anything.
No guilt. No expectations.
Just me.
“Okay, then, lead the way,” Alisha said. She made an apologetic face toward Brandi and motioned that she had to follow the staff member.
The woman led her to the far corner of the dining room and up a wide, curved glass staircase. Alisha paused at the top to appreciate the floor-to-ceiling windows that provided a panoramic view of the ocean. All the tables were empty, and only one was set. “Are you sure this is the right table?”
“Miss Coventry?”
“That’s me.”
“Then, yes, this is the right table.” She led her to the table and a waiter rushed over to hold the chair out for Alisha.
After taking her seat and putting the napkin on her lap, Alisha scanned the empty room again. “Is it because I’m traveling alone?” This could be an overflow section.
The woman smiled politely without answering, then walked away. The waiter coughed as if covering a laugh, then asked if Alisha would like something from the bar.
A drink sounded like the perfect way to make it through her solitary meal on the top floor of the dining room. “Yes, but I don’t know what. Surprise me,” she said.
The waiter nodded and stepped away.
“I’m glad you like surprises,” a deep male voice said, and Alisha gasped as Brett took the seat across from her.
Brett.
Not imaginary Brett from the hallway. Unless I’ve completely come unhinged.
“How . . . why . . . what are you doing here?” Alisha asked in a strangled voice.
He placed his napkin on his lap and smiled. “Could I convince you that I was in the neighborhood?”
Alisha gripped her hands on her lap. Seeing him again shook her. She’d tried to tell herself that she’d imagined the effect he had on her, but there was no denying the flush that spread up her body or how she could barely breathe. “This isn’t a joke to me, Brett.”
His expression turned serious. “Nor me. I’m here because you’re here. It’s that simple.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the gift he’d picked up from the jewelry store. “I couldn’t let you leave without giving you your third gift. I had it made especially for you.” He placed it on the table between them. “Open it.”
I can’t open it. I can’t go down this road. I promised Rachelle I wouldn’t. I told myself I was stronger than this.
My mother chose a man over everything that should have mattered more to her. She let him ruin her life, my life. Why? Because she felt like this?
I won’t do it. I won’t risk losing a lifelong friendship over a man.
Even this one.
“No,” she said weakly, then cleared her throat and pushed the box back toward him. “Thank you, but no.”
The return of the waiter with a bottle of champagne provided a short reprieve during which Brett attempted to process her response to his appearance. He wasn’t an egomaniac. It was conceivable to him that a woman might not find him attractive, but that wasn’t the case with Alisha. He was experienced enough to recognize desire in a woman’s eyes, and it had been there. When he’d first appeared, the look she’d given him had made him want to haul her to him and carry her off to the nearest bed.
In fact, she was still looking at him with hungry, take-me-now eyes. There was something else, though. An anger he couldn’t understand. Is she angry with me? My family?
She stood. “I should go.”
“No.” He was at her side in a heartbeat, taking her hand in his. That touch, innocent as it was, sent flames of pleasure through him. “Have dinner with me.”
Her hand trembled in his. “I can’t.”
His mouth twisted in a wry smile. “That’s better, I suppose, than ‘I don’t want to.’”
“What I want doesn’t matter.”
“It does to me.”
She blinked several times, pressed her lips together briefly, then said, “You’re not making this easy.”
“Good.” He pulled her closer and wrapped an arm around her waist. She melted against him. Ever so slowly he traced the curve of her collarbone, the exposed length of her neck, then cupped the back of her head. This. This is what I’ve been waiting for. “Because not being with you is slowly killing me.”
When he claimed her mouth, it was everything he’d imagined it would be. Fire leapt inside him, burning away all sense of where he was or who might be watching. There was only her mouth, eagerly opening to his, and the sweet taste of her. Fuck food. She was what he hungered for. Her hands landed on his chest beneath his jacket. The feel of her beneath the thin material of her dress. He wanted it all. Right there if he could pay the world to disappear around them.
She writhed against him, and his cock throbbed with need. Her hands moved upward to encircle the back of his neck as she arched against him. He adjusted his stance to take her more fully into his arms and knocked over a glass on the table.
She broke off the kiss and pulled out of his arms, covering her mouth with her hand. He moved to touch her, but she stepped away. Their ragged breathing drowned out the hum of conversation from the restaurant below. “We can’t do this,” she said, looking close to tears.
“Why?” he demanded.
She brought her hands beneath her eyes as if to wipe away any smeared mascara, then let out a long, shaky breath. “I promised to stay away from you.”
“Who? Spencer? He knows about us.”
Alisha shook her head and picked up a napkin to dab at the corners of her eyes. “There is no us. There can’t be an us.”
Can’t wasn’t a word he’d encountered many times in his life. “Who did you promise?” A man? The idea that she might have a man in her life that he didn’t know about was a sucker punch to his gut.
“Rachelle.”
Relief flooded him. “She’ll get over it.” He went to pull her back into his arms, but Alisha took another step back.
“She won’t. She blames me for Spencer finding out about his father. It was my fault. He wouldn’t know if I hadn’t gone to see your grandmother. Now he’s hurting. Your mother is hurting. Rachelle is trying to hold them all together. Rachelle has been my best friend for most of my life. Stephanie has been more of a mother to me than my own. I can’t risk hurting any of them more than I already have. I love them. I’m sorry. Nothing I feel with you is more important than making sure they’re okay.”
And just like that, Brett felt like a complete and utter asshole. She was putting the happiness of his family before her own. She was easily a million times better a person than he’d ever been.
How do you fuck that?
You don’t.
More than anything, he wanted her to understand that there was no reason for her to feel guilty. Not about going to his grandmother. Not about him. “Rachelle will realize that Spencer would have found out either way. It would have come out when he received his inheritance.”
She gripped the back of one of the chairs to steady herself. “I guess it would have. I just hate how it happened.”
“There was no way you could have known. Rachelle will see that when things calm down. My mother will, too.”
Alisha nodded, then smiled sadly and looked around the empty room. “You arranged all this? Just to have dinner with me?”
He smiled ruefully and then tried to make her smile by saying, “I was hoping for more than dinner.”
She threw her napkin at him. “That’s—”
“Honest,” he supplied.
She blushed an adorable shade of pink that made him want to kiss her all over again. “Are you staying on the ship?”
“That was the plan.” Although, he was beginning to see that when it came to Alisha, nothing went as planned.
There was a pause while they both gathered their thoughts.
“And now?” she asked with a mixture of longing and sadness in her eyes.
“I could attempt the swim, but I should probably wait until we reach the first port and fly back from there.”
She stayed silent for a long moment, seemingly torn between sadness and apology. “I feel horrible. If I did something that made you feel—”
“Not everything that happens is your fault, Alisha. Don’t take it all on. Sometimes shit just happens, and all we can do is make the best of what we’re dealt.” It was a philosophy born in the realization that he couldn’t protect his family, especially when the betrayals occurred within it.
She cocked her head to one side and frowned. “Really? I had you pegged for more of a control freak. Not freak. But you know what I mean.”
He chuckled, although there was little about their conversation he found amusing. “I do. And I was, but lately I’ve come across several situations no amount of money can fix. That used to be my solution. If I threw enough cash at a problem, it went away. This has been quite the humbling summer for me.”
Alisha looked down at the table and then met his eyes again. “You probably don’t want to have dinner with me anymore, but since we’re both here . . .”
Brett pulled out the chair for her. It took every bit of control in him not to kiss the curve of her neck revealed as her hair fell forward. He pushed her chair in with more force than he’d meant to, and she let out a small surprised sound. “Sorry, still getting my sea legs, I suppose.”
She watched him cautiously as he took his seat across from her. “Just because we’re sharing a meal doesn’t mean that I’ve changed my mind. We can’t . . . I don’t want you to think . . .”
What he’d once seen as indecision was now tangible evidence of her loyalty to his family. As much as he wanted her, he also wanted her to stand strong with her principles. It was a confusing place to find himself. Never in his life had he ever imagined uttering the next words that came out of his mouth. “We have two days at sea before we reach the first port. Let’s be friends. We can spend time together with no expectations of more. Would you like that?”
“Yes.”
He groaned. It figured that she’d chosen then to finally say yes without first saying no.