Chapter Twenty-One
Alisha walked over to the door that connected her room to Brett’s and laid a hand on it. Once she knocked, everything between them would change. Was she ready for it?
Images of him flashed through her mind. She saw him sitting beside her on the dock, barefoot in his suit, there simply because he wanted to make sure she was all right. She remembered how gently he’d taken care of her when she was sick, how thoughtful each of his gifts had been.
It wasn’t a competition. She didn’t know what it was, but she had a feeling that if she walked away from him now, she would spend the rest of her life regretting it. A week. A month. A year of him was better than a lifetime without him.
I’m a survivor. If he breaks my heart, I’ll pick myself up and go on.
She unlocked her side of the door and knocked softly once, then more firmly.
“Come in,” he said as if he were directly on the other side of the door.
She opened the door. A huge smile spread across her face at the sight of him. There he was in all his glory, like some half-dressed gladiator. Her breath caught in her throat at the muscular perfection of his bare chest and broad shoulders. Her gaze slid lower, across his flat stomach to his dark-blue briefs that did nothing to conceal his enormous erection.
Her thighs quivered as warmth spread through her. She raised her eyes to his. Any feeling of embarrassment was far overshadowed by the hunger in his eyes. She gulped, then said, “So I talked to Rachelle and—”
He stepped forward and dug his hands into the hair behind her ears. As he lowered toward her, she whispered, “I’ll tell you about it later.”
His mouth plundered hers. There was no hesitation, no gentleness. She met his kiss with a matching hunger, opening her mouth wider for him. His tongue darted around hers, tasting, luring. It demanded all of her, and she gave herself over gladly, finally.
His lips were hot and wet as he kissed his way across her cheek. “I want you so fucking much,” he growled into her ear.
“Oh yes,” she whispered back. God, yes.
He lifted her shirt over her head and unsnapped the back of her bra with professional speed. With a groan, he lifted one of her breasts to his mouth. He licked across it once, an act that sent a shiver of pleasure through her, then took it deeply into his mouth. The way he suckled, then flicked his tongue back and forth over her nipple had her whimpering and begging him not to stop. He did, but only to give her other breast the same attention.
Her hand sought his manhood, but he said harshly, “No, I’m already too fucking turned on. Your tits are heaven, but I want to taste you.” He unzipped her skirt and slid it down, along with her panties, for her to step out of.
His hand sought her sex, and he slid a finger between her lower lips. “You’re so wet I could fuck you right now, but I want you to come for me first.”
He lifted her, carried her to the couch, and sat her on the arm of it. Her feet dangled above the floor, so she steadied herself with an arm along the back of the couch. He left her there for a moment, then returned with a condom box that he dropped on the floor between her spread legs. He removed his briefs, releasing his long, thick cock.
She licked her lips, drawing his attention back to her mouth. He stepped between her legs and bent to kiss her again. The tip of his cock rasped against her leg. Her hand wrapped around it, loving the promise of its size and hardness. “You feel so good,” she said.
He groaned, and as he moved to kiss his way down her chest again, his cock slipped out of her hand. “So do you.” He nipped at her rib cage. “So fucking good.” His lips burned a path across her stomach to just above her mound. Instead of diving in, he pushed her thighs farther apart and kissed his way from her knee to just before her sex and then repeated that action on the other side.
Alisha was clenching the back of the couch with one hand and steadying herself with her other. She felt off-balance and completely at his mercy, but joyfully so. She realized something very important in that moment: she trusted him in a way she’d never trusted a man before, and that allowed her to give herself fully over to how good he made her feel.
His talented tongue darted across her lower lips, and she adjusted her seat so she was spread open for him. He groaned in approval and thrust his tongue deeply inside her. She shuddered at the power of the act. He found her clit with his thumb and began to move back and forth across it in a thrilling rhythm. His tongue plunged in and out of her, deeper with each stroke. She put a leg over one of his shoulders and pulled him closer with it, urging him to continue.
The man had been blessed with a tongue of fantasies. Strong. Relentless. When she thought it couldn’t get better, he moved his talent to her clit. She clasped her legs around his head, and he chuckled. “Easy there.”
“Sorry,” she said, but she had already forgotten what for. As he flicked his tongue over her clit, he sank one of his fingers deeply inside her, then a second, hitting the spot she’d given up on a man ever finding.
That was all her body needed for her orgasm to explode. She shook and grasped at him as wave after wave of fire seared through her. His touch turned gentle, and he kissed his way across one of her thighs again. “I love the sounds you make when you come,” he said.
What sounds? Alisha wasn’t aware of having made a single noise. It had been that good.
While Alisha came slowly back to earth, he stood and rolled a condom on. As if she were one of those skinny women she’d always envied, he lifted her into his arms and settled her legs around his hips. Had she been capable of speech, she would have told him she was too heavy, but the feel of his cock teasing her entrance robbed her of all coherent thought. All that remained was the raw, primal need to feel him inside her.
The wall behind the couch felt cold on her shoulder blades, but his breath was hot as he kissed her neck. She ran her hands over every inch of him that she could reach, from his strong back to his amazing ass.
He dipped the tip of his cock into her, then withdrew it. She rocked against him, trying to take him deeper. He held her hips with his hands and thrust upward into her. Alisha clung to his shoulders and clenched herself around his cock each time he entered her. He started his rhythm slowly, each time filling her more. She writhed in his arms, loving how perfectly they fit.
“I’m trying to be gentle, but you feel too good,” he growled.
She realized then that, although she’d given herself over to their lovemaking, he was still trying to protect her. She bit his bottom lip and said, “Don’t hold back. Fuck me, Brett. Oh God. Do it.”
His back muscles flexed beneath her hands, and he took a step so she was pressed more fully against the wall. His breathing changed, and he pounded into her more powerfully with each stroke. Due to his size, it was a painful pleasure, but one that brought another wave of orgasm. She met him thrust for thrust, whimpering for him to plunge harder. He rocked her with a glorious, wild ride that brought tears to her eyes. She cried out his name as she came. He grunted and shook against her as he followed her lead.
For a while afterward, they stood there, both gasping for air in the aftermath. He kissed her lips softly, then withdrew and lowered her to her feet. “Is that what you wanted when you knocked?”
His lusty, pleased smile brought an answer to her lips. “How embarrassing if it wasn’t.”
He stepped away for a moment, to remove the condom, then returned and lifted her up into his arms. He sat on the couch and positioned her so she was on his lap, facing him, with her sex spread open above his already hardening cock. He took one of her hands in his, lacing his fingers with hers. His other hand came up to cup and caress her bare breasts. “Please don’t be embarrassed with me.”
Their connection seemed natural. “I’m not.”
He absently circled one of her nipples with his thumb. “Good, because I like you naked. You’re perfect.”
She’d never felt that way, but she didn’t need to be every man’s ideal as long as she was his. “You’re not so bad, yourself.”
He grinned. “I know.”
She rolled her eyes, but her sarcastic retort died on her lips when the tip of his shaft dipped into her. “Do you have another condom?”
He reached over to pick one off the arm of the chair and gave her a cocky smile. “Why, is there something you want?”
She rose onto her knees, moved her breasts across his chest, and whispered into his ear, “Only if you have what it takes to fuck me again.”
He chuckled. “You have a dirty mouth for a kindergarten teacher.”
“You have no idea,” she teased, loving how he flushed at her forwardness. She swirled a hand coquettishly across his chest. “I can control it, though, if you don’t like it.”
He ran his hands down her back and gripped her bare ass. “Don’t you dare.” He slid her back onto his legs so that his cock stood upright between them. “Although I can imagine better uses for your mouth than swearing.”
Alisha eased herself onto the floor and pushed his legs apart before crawling to kneel between them. “Really? I can’t.”
He wound his hand through her hair, tugged her face closer, and demanded, “Take me as deep as you can. I want to feel those lips of yours wrapped around my cock.”
She flicked the end of it with her tongue. “Like this?”
It might have been a dangerous game with another man, but this was Brett. Even if she drove him to lose control, he would take care of her. That’s who he was. He hauled her closer still and ran the tip of his cock across her lips in a circular motion. “Open your mouth for me.”
She did, and he thrust himself deeply in. She had to stretch her mouth wide to accommodate the size of him, but it was worth it. His eyes half closed, and he groaned. She bobbed her head up and down, taking him as deep as she could. His pleasure was her pleasure. She ran her hands over his thighs hungrily, then brought one to cup his balls.
“Touch yourself,” he said huskily. “I want to see you make yourself come.”
She did what she was told and began to stimulate herself as she loved him with her mouth. Her own hot wetness felt good on her fingers. She stroked herself faster and faster while nearly gagging herself on the length of him. It didn’t matter. His desire matched hers.
Heat began to build within her to a level that could not be contained. She moaned with him in her mouth as she thrust her own fingers into herself and pumped them in and out.
“I’m close,” he said and pulled out of her mouth just in time to come all over her chest. She continued at a frenzied pace to come right after him.
“Fuck, you’re amazing,” he said.
After she caught her breath, she looked up and smiled. Wow. She stood on shaking legs, went to the bathroom to clean up, then crawled back onto the couch. This time she laid her head in his lap. She’d had what she considered good sex before, but never anything like what they’d just shared.
“Not so bad yourself.”
A while later, Brett lay awake in his bed with Alisha, still naked, cuddled to his side. He said the first thing that came to mind. “I never let women sleep over.” He hadn’t meant to say it, but the revelation of how tempting it was to have her in his arms all night surprised him.
He didn’t know what to expect as a reaction, but her indulgent smile radiated warmth. “That’s good to know.” She cuddled closer to him.
The intensity of his feelings for her confused him. He didn’t want her to leave any more than she seemed to want to. Still, that didn’t mean he’d feel the same way the next morning. He didn’t believe in letting a woman sleep over. One night would lead to a left toothbrush, then a few outfits appearing in the closet. Before he’d know it, he would be living with someone he’d never officially asked to move in. Brett had seen it happen to more than one of his colleagues, but had never let it happen to him. He didn’t give women the keys to his apartment, so he never had to ask for them back. It kept things simple.
Still, Alisha felt good beside him. He kissed her temple. “I’m not saying you have to leave, but I don’t want you to think—” He stopped because he didn’t know what the hell he’d been about to say. That we’re a couple? What’s worse? If we are? Or aren’t? She raised herself up onto an elbow, and the beauty of her bare breasts temporarily made him lose his train of thought. When he finally raised his eyes to hers, the serious expression on her face brought him back to the moment.
“You don’t have to worry. We talked about this, remember? I don’t believe in forever any more than you do.”
Brett hadn’t liked that marriage conversation, and the updated version wasn’t sitting well with him, either. “Because you don’t need a man in your life to have the children, house, and dog you dream of.”
Her nose wrinkled, then relaxed. “Are you upset with me?”
“No,” he said almost angrily. When he heard himself, he said, “No,” in a neutral voice. What am I doing? I should be relieved instead of arguing the point with her.
She sat up, looking confused. “You meant it about not letting people stay over, didn’t you? I thought you were joking.”
Now I not only am an ass but look and sound like one, too. “I was.”
She smiled in relief. “Sometimes I can’t tell.”
He pulled her back down into his arms. “Come here.” The kiss he gave her was that of a sated lover. “Go to sleep. We’ll both make more sense in the morning.”
She gave his side a light tweak. “Hey, I’m making perfect sense.”
He closed his eyes. “Sleep.”
She settled against him again and sighed contently. He waited for her breathing to deepen before he slid out of bed, put on lounge pants, and made himself a stiff drink.
He should be in a great mood. He’d wanted her, and he’d had her. The sex had been phenomenal. There was no reason to believe they couldn’t have more of the same, and according to her, she was fine with agreeing that it was temporary.
He opened a glass door and went onto the deck. The sound of the ship breaking through the waves added to the calming effect of the scotch. He sat in one of the lounge chairs and soaked in the peace of the setting. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d sat quietly to enjoy anything. His mind was always racing with the challenges of a present project or a strategy for the next one. He’d never given himself time to question if he wanted what he was fighting so hard to keep.
Until Alisha.
She was slowly changing how he looked at everything. In the past, hearing a woman say she didn’t believe in marriage or forever would have been just fine with him. With Alisha, he wanted to prove to her that some things did last.
Too bad I don’t believe they do.
He took a long gulp of the scotch.
People don’t change.
I may want to.
The afterglow of a mind-blowing fuck might have me convinced I could, but how long would it take for me to disappoint Alisha? Work has always come first for me. What makes me think I’d be a better husband than my father was?
Two hands began to massage his shoulders. He laid his hand on top of one of them. “I thought you were asleep.”
Dressed in one of his T-shirts, she walked to the side of the chair. With a simple flick of her chin, she asked if she could join him. He placed his drink down and shifted his legs so there was space for her between them. The wind blew, giving him a teasing look at her bare bottom as she turned to sit in front of him before she leaned back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, just below her breasts, and gave himself a moment to feel.
She laid her arms over his. “I was, but I rolled over and you were gone. It’s so peaceful out here at night. I hope you don’t mind if I join you.”
He nuzzled her hair. Being near her was always a turn-on, but this time that feeling came second to the desire to hold her. Her bracelet twinkled under the light of the moon. He ran a finger over it. “Not at all. I was out here thinking about us.”
He felt her light chuckle against his chest. “And it drove you to drink?”
He kissed her neck. “A little. This would be a hell of a lot easier if you were like every other woman I’ve dated.”
She took a deep breath. “I’m going to take that as a compliment because I think you meant it as one.”
“I did. I really enjoy being with you. You’re intelligent, funny, gorgeous as sin, and I admire your integrity. I can’t think of another person I can say all that about.”
She smiled up at him. “What was that middle part again?”
He knew what she was referring to, but decided to have a little fun with it. “Intelligent?”
“After that.”
“Funny?”
“One more.”
He hugged her. “You know you’re beautiful.”
She sighed happily. “You make me feel like I am. I was never cheerleader or prom queen material.”
He ran a hand up and down her arm. “Is that how you measure your beauty? If a bunch of horny teenage boys think you measure up to some Photoshopped model? Your beauty is deeper than that.” She nodded, but didn’t look as if she believed him, so he continued, “I love your curves. I know too many women who live on carrot sticks and define themselves by how many ‘likes’ their photos get on social media. They want me to pose with them so they can say they’ve been with me. That kind of self-obsession makes a woman ugly to me. Your beauty is natural. Steady. It doesn’t come off when your makeup does. Your face and body would make any man stop and take a second look, but it’s who you are on the inside that pulls me back to you.”
She blinked back tears. Then, with a completely straight face, she asked, “Is now a bad time to admit that for me it is your ass? You were right. You do have a nice one.”
Her reference to his earlier joke took him off guard, and he let out a deep laugh that broke the silence of the night. “Just as I suspected.”
They laughed in unison, then quieted. Some women might have robbed the peace from the setting, but Alisha added to it. She seemed to crave the calm as much as he did. Was this what she found at her lake house retreat? Why she went there when she was upset?
He wanted to be her sanctuary.
But how realistic is that?
“Do you enjoy your job?” he asked. He wasn’t sure why the answer to that question felt so important to him now. He knew which parts of her life were in disarray. He wanted to know about the parts that weren’t.
“I do. Don’t get me wrong: there are good days and bad days. I age a little every time a parent picks up a child from school and doesn’t tell anyone. There is nothing worse than realizing a child is gone and not knowing where they went.”
“Does that happen? Aren’t there safeguards against that?” With how often schools were in the news, he wouldn’t have thought something like that could happen.
She didn’t seem offended by his question. “Oh, there are rules. Schools are all about rules and procedures now, but the human element always finds a way around those. It could be a parent who sees their child in line and calls to them. Or a parent who volunteers for a field trip and leaves with their child without telling anyone. It doesn’t happen often, but enough that it’s my favorite before-school-starts nightmare.”
He ran a hand through her hair. “Would you still want to work if you didn’t have to?”
She tensed. “You mean if I won the lottery?”
“Or married someone who made it unnecessary for you to work.” He could have kicked himself for that comment. He wasn’t ready to promise her anything, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to hear the answer, not that he completely understood the reason why.
She was quiet long enough that he wasn’t sure if she was going to answer, then she said, “Those are two totally different scenarios. If I won the lottery, I don’t know what I would do. I’d like to think I’d donate a good portion of it. I wouldn’t leave teaching, though, unless another job came along that I enjoyed as much. What I do gives me a good deal of satisfaction. I know I make a difference.” She wagged a finger in the air. “I definitely wouldn’t leave teaching for a man, not even one I married. I would never want to be on an allowance or give anyone that amount of control over my life.”
He opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off.
“I’m not judging women who choose that life. There are plenty of people who do it and are happy, but it requires more trust than I’ve ever had in anyone.”
He understood her thinking, but it made him sad. Alisha needed to be in control because she knew what it was like to suffer at the hands of someone else. Her childhood had made her strong, but it had also left her wary. He hated that someone so protective of those around her had trouble believing anyone would stand with her just as steadfastly.
It would be so easy to say I’ll be there for her.
Why can’t I?
Because I don’t want to be the next person to disappoint her.
“I was planning to fly back when we reach port,” he said.
“And now?”
“I want to stay, but we need to be clear about what we’re doing.”
She sat up and turned so she could face him. “Clear. Okay. What are we doing?”
She didn’t look angry or upset. It might have been easier if she had been. At least then he would have known what to say. “Enjoying a vacation together.”
She cocked her head to one side. “Are you saying you want this to end when we get home?”
Although part of him thought that’s what he wanted, he didn’t answer immediately because that definitely wasn’t what he was saying. His thoughts became scrambled each time she looked at him.
A sad smile lifted one side of her mouth, and she spoke before he had a chance to. “That’s probably for the best. I haven’t even told people at work that I’m no longer engaged to Spencer. I don’t really want to go back and explain how I ended up with his brother.”
The ease with which she accepted a time limit he hadn’t even verbalized, grated. He wasn’t okay with things ending as soon as they returned home.
She patted his thigh. “It doesn’t have to be awkward between us when we go back. I tend to stay friends with men I’ve slept with.”
What the hell? I’m not okay with that, either.
Friends?
To look but never be able to touch? Hell no.
And who are these ex-lovers she’s friends with? No man sticks around a woman he’s had sex with unless he thinks there is a possibility of another chance.
She gave him a funny look. “Are you seasick again? You don’t look so good all of a sudden.”
He stood up and growled, “I don’t get seasick.”
She put her hands up in mock surrender as she followed suit. “Whatever you say.”
He was done talking. The more he tried to verbalize how he was feeling, the worse he was making things. He decided to return to when things were going well. “I’ll take you up on that.” He advanced on her.
She laughed. “Oh, will you?”
“I will, and you’ll like it.” He ran his hands up the back of her legs and forcibly grasped her bare ass, pulling her roughly against his instantly hard cock. “I’ll make sure you do.”
Her eyes half closed, and she purred, “Is that a promise?”
“It is.”
He might still be untangling his feelings for her, but he wasn’t at all confused about this. He wanted to fuck her until she was calling out his name as she came, until she couldn’t remember anyone before him. He picked her up, slung her over his shoulder, and carried her through the suite and up the stairs. He tossed her onto the bed and stood over her. He’d never seen anything more beautiful than her on his bed, smiling in his shirt, with her wet pussy naked and ready for him.