When I let myself into the house later that night, I was met with the sight of Jordan and Annabelle sitting on opposite sides of the couch. They were engrossed in a movie I hadn't seen before and looked so comfortable around each other that I wanted to cry.

She had her feet slung across his lap, and he was resting a cushion on top of them. He didn’t shy away from her touch.

They looked so natural and at ease together. I debated just sneaking upstairs to bed, not wanting to interrupt the moment, but then I grew a pair of lady balls and flicked on the light.

"Hope," Jordan acknowledged fondly, craning his neck to look at me. "You've got to come watch this."

"It's brilliant," Annabelle chimed in, glancing up at me from her perch on the couch. "Leo won his first Oscar for his role in this movie."

"I don’t want to watch the fucking movie," I hissed, not even trying to mask my anger. "I thought you had to work tonight?"

My words hit Jordan hard, and he had the decency to flinch, but he didn’t lie. He simply said, "What do you want me to say, Hope?"

What did I want him to say?

"How about you start with saying sorry for lying to me!" Ripping my coat off, I tossed it on the back of the armchair closest to me before leveling my gaze on my husband. I surprised myself with how cold my tone was when I said, "This is what was so important that you couldn’t stop by family night tonight?" I looked at Annabelle and then the television screen before returning my gaze to him. "A fucking movie was more important to you."

Sighing wearily, Jordan rubbed a hand down his face before getting to his feet. "They're not my family, Hope," he finally replied, standing and facing me now with only the couch between us.

"Well, they are mine, Jordan!" I screamed, not caring that Annabelle was in the room and watching me lose my shit. "My family. And you won't even try and make an effort with them."

"Why would I?" he shot back, tone equally angry. "With the exception of Lee, none of your family even likes me. Your brothers barely tolerate me, and Kyle? Your father can't stand the sight of me, Hope."

"Jay," Annabelle piped up in a warning tone. "Calm down. Now."

"Stay out of this," I snapped at her before turning my attention back to my husband. "Maybe they would like you if you made an effort once in a while." I didn’t bother denying the fact that my family weren't fond of my husband. "But you won't even try."

"No, I won't," he agreed, voice rising. "Because I refuse to put myself in a situation that jeopardizes my sobriety."

"Jordan!" Annabelle hissed, standing up now. "You need to calm down. Right now."

Meanwhile, I flinched, feeling like he had physically slapped me with his words. "And you're saying my family do that?" Clearing the lump that was trying to form in my throat, I rasped, "My family jeopardize your sobriety?"

"There's no point in trying to explain any of this to you," he growled impatiently. "Unless you've been in my shoes, you'll never understand."

Now that really was a blow.

"I can't believe you just said that to me," I choked out.

Of all the things in the world he could say, he used the most hurtful one.

No, I had no clue how he felt or was feeling. But I was here. I was standing by him and I was desperately trying to make our marriage work.

The guilt in his eyes as he looked at me only maddened me. He had no right to throw that kind of a comment in my face. I was thankful I didn’t know how he felt. I didn’t want to be in a horrible, life-altering club he belonged to. And I wouldn’t change places with him for the world, but dammit, I was his wife and I was putting one hundred and fifty percent into making this marriage work. I thought it only fair he did the same.

My family were important to me. I loved them to death. We might not be perfect, but they were my blood and I cherished them. I understood he didn’t feel the same about his, but he could make an effort for me. Nothing seemed to be about me. I felt like a fucking servant to his feelings and I hated it. I was done feeling this way.

"It's not all about you, Jordan," I heard myself hiss, regretting the words as they poured out of my mouth, but unable to stop them. The dam that held all of my truths and feelings inside had well and truly burst open. "You're not the only person suffering here!" My body was shaking, my heart hammering against my ribcage. "And you're not the only one who gets to make the decisions in this relationship!"

"Me?" he shot back, clearly outraged. "I'm busting my ass to make you happy, Hope!"

"By blocking me out?" I threw my head back and laughed harshly. "And making decisions about our future without consulting me? Oh yeah, because that makes me so fucking happy, Jordan!"

Jordan's face turned purple. "I'm here, aren’t I?" he snarled, running a hand through his curls. "Dammit, Hope."

"It's not enough!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"Okay, Hope, I think you need to take a breather," Annabelle chimed in, tone worried. Walking over to where I was standing, she placed a hand on my shoulder and said, "Why don’t you just go upstairs and take a minute to calm down. I'll talk to Jordan."

Insulted and beyond aggravated, I roughly shoved her arm off my shoulder and turned my anger on her.

"Why don’t you go upstairs?" I bit out, glaring. "Or better yet, why don’t you just go, period!" The hurt in her blue eyes was evident as she looked at me, but I was beyond caring at this stage. "You don’t belong here," I added. "You're not even family, so just go away!"

"She is my family," Jordan snarled, sounding more furious than I had ever heard him. "Her and Ryder. And she is always welcome in my home. They were my family when everyone in my life turned their backs on me."

"I didn’t!" I screamed right back at him. My eyes were burning with tears that threatened to spill over. I wouldn’t dare allow it. Not now. I was too angry to cry. "I never once turned my back on you." Furious, I lost every ounce of my frazzled self-control and let every bit of my hurt and pain drip from my tongue like poison. "You walked away from me! You. Not me, Jordan. Never me. You turned your back on us. On all of the people who care about you. You made the decision that we weren't enough to help you through it and you walked away. I'm not blaming you for doing what you did. I get that was what you needed to happen in order to survive what you have, but don’t you dare stand here and try and put the blame on me."

The sound of Ryder's startled cries brought me back down to earth with a bang. Immediately, guilt filled my body, threatening to swallow me up whole.

Ashamed of myself for raising my voice and waking the baby, I mumbled a quick apology to Annabelle before I turned on my heels and rushed upstairs to our bedroom.

Closing the bedroom door behind me, I flung myself down on the bed and remained completely still, not moving a muscle as I desperately tried to figure out where everything had gone so horribly wrong. I felt like running home to my childhood room and burying myself under my comforter. Childhood was so much easier than this bullshit, bill-paying, tax robbing, descending path to mortality.

Everything was better when I was little. I had my parents to do the worrying for me. All I had to do was be a kid.

Now?

Now everything was screwed up and cloudy and I couldn’t see a straight line through the mess I had managed to get myself sucked into.