Chapter Five
Landry
“Morning” sickness was a damn lie. I knew that. I was a doctor, a surgeon. I’d done my fair share of rotations in OB. I knew that morning sickness could last all day. That didn’t make surviving it any easier, though. Knowing what was coming didn’t make it any easier to hide from my colleagues. I had to walk normally to the bathroom, not run. Once I’d barely made it and ended up puking all over the floor. I’d cleaned it the best I could and then called housekeeping to let them know a patient had gotten sick in the restroom.
The only saving grace was that I didn’t normally see Travis, my ex, around the hospital. He was a cardiothoracic surgeon and I’d chosen general. Also, he tended to put some effort into avoiding me since I’d caught him having sex with the plastics Barbie in one of the on-call rooms. I laid my hand on my stomach, silently praying that this baby wasn’t his. Hindsight was 20/20 and Travis was an asshole. His ego was way bigger than his dick, and he was a stuck-up wuss.
I’d never brought him home, and I’d never introduced him to my family. I knew they would have hated him. Travis wouldn’t have survived a trip to the Devil’s Share compound. He was my family’s least favorite kind of person. Full of himself and pretentious. He drank a lot of expensive wine and spent too much money on shitty art.
Why had I dated him in the first place? I couldn’t really say. He was a great surgeon, talented and confident in the OR. And, if I had to think on it, which I tried not to do since dumping him had felt so good, I was pretty sure the brilliant surgeon thing had a lot to do with it.
I pulled my cell out of my lab coat pocket when it started to vibrate, having to move aside pens and a couple alcohol swabs to find it. “Dr. Cole,” I answered briskly, trying not to sound like I wanted to hurl again.
“How you feeling, baby cakes?”
I smiled while moving into a small alcove to talk to Brody. “A little sore if I’m being completely honest.” I knew he meant the puking he’d seen that morning. But I also knew that averting his attention to sex would keep me from having to lie.
“That’s what happens when you go a week without me.” He laughed quietly on the other end of the line. “Want me to come up to the hospital and kiss it better?”
I did. I really fucking did. “I wish. I’m on my way to scrub in for an appendectomy though.”
“What time you done today?”
Brody was an open book, so easy to read. I could tell that he was grinning just by the sound of his voice. I knew he was horny by the slight rasp in his tone, images of him kissing me where I hurt dancing in his head no doubt. “Seven. I have another five hours to go.” I worked a twelve-hour shift today. I still had about half of it to go, and I was feeling drained. I was going to have to sneak in a nap if I was going to make it through. This first trimester stuff was for the birds.
“We have the studio until ten. RiffRaff wants us practicing every day until we leave.”
I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes. “Uncle Smith is a slave driver, I tell you.” My aunts and uncles remained involved in the day to day of running the label, even though they had plenty of employees. RiffRaff Records was a reflection of them, and they hadn’t been able to give up the reins.
“You want to come over? Meet me at the house after practice?”
Meet him at his house at ten tonight? Yeah, there was no way I’d be able to stay awake that long. Plus, I bet his house smelled like bong water and stale beer. “I work another twelve tomorrow. Why don’t you come to my place when you’re done? I’ll leave a key under the mat.”
“Landry Cole. Are you giving me a key to your apartment?” He let out a deep sigh. “I think things are getting too serious between us. I need to take a step back.”
I shook my head at the game he was playing. “Suit yourself, lame ass pussy.” I paused for dramatic effect. “If you don’t want to come home to a naked chick…” Purposely, I let the image dangle.
“I changed my mind, there’s no such thing as too serious.”
“Well, if you’re sure.”
“I’m sure. I’ll see you tonight, baby cakes.”
“Bye.” I hung up and put my cell back in my crowded pocket. I was smiling. I bit my lips together to try to get my crazy happy under control.
Brody had landed in my life like a meteor. I’d gone to a concert, only looking to have a night off and spend time with my favorite uncle. Best laid plans, and all that.
I couldn’t deny there was something about Brody. Something that pulled me in; he was like a magnet. I’d watched him all night. Glued to his antics. I wanted to see every smirk, every carefree laugh. I wanted to know what made him so exultant, what made him shine so bright.
He radiated life. He was like a beacon, a lighthouse. I was mesmerized from the start.
I put my hand to my stomach again as I turned the corner, pushing open the double doors that led to the OR. If this was Brody’s baby, I’d hit the genetic jackpot. He was gorgeous, honest and kind; he was hilarious and he lived life. He really lived. No bullshit or trying to look the part. He was simply who he was.
Brody had been born with a special spark. Maybe he’d pass that spark down to the baby.
Enough. I needed to shove all thoughts of Brody and the baby out of my brain. The OR was the perfect place for that to happen. I’d been trained to focus to the exclusion of everything else, and I took my job seriously. Right now, the patient was paramount. There was no room in the operating theater for my worries, hopes, or dreams.
***
I collapsed on my couch. After twelve hours at the hospital, I felt like I was seconds away from passing out. All day, I’d needed to eat constantly, munching on crackers from the vending machine and sipping ginger ale out of my Yeti tumbler. I’d had to hide all my snacking and fluids. Crackers and bubbly drinks screamed “pregnant.” And, hello. I was around medical professionals all day. I had a few friends at the hospital, a couple doctors that I’d gone through residency with, but no one I was really close to. I didn’t have one friend in Florida I could call up to shoot the shit. Medical school had been grueling, my residency cutthroat and exhausting. I barely had time to keep up with my large family, and now Brody, let alone anyone else.
I worked long hours and a lot of days. Typically, when I got home, I wanted peace and quiet. Now, when I got home, I craved Brody. It was a cliché thing to say, but no doubt, that man had ruined me for all other men. Not that it mattered. Once Brody left, my life would revolve around my baby.
Speaking of this secret child growing in my womb, I winced as I removed my navy blue scrub top, trying like hell to keep it from touching my oversensitive breasts. Once I tossed it across the living room, toward the smaller space that held my washer and dryer, I removed my bra as well. I nearly cried with how much the weight of my boobs hurt.
Fuck you very much, first trimester.
I leaned back against my couch cushions, too beat to even try to make it the short distance to my bed. I’d barely closed my eyes when my cell started to vibrate on the glass and steel coffee table. I watched it for a good ten seconds as it moved closer and closer to the edge. I held my hand out and caught when it fell, pulling a blanket over myself when I realized it was FaceTime.
I clicked accept, smiling when both Halen and Beau came on the screen. They were basically cheek-to-cheek. “You two are nauseating.” I wrinkled my nose then winked. They knew I was their biggest fan. I was so incredibly pumped for my little brother and the love of his life. They’d come clean to our parents and were finally able to get their happily ever after.
Beau smirked. “Nah, that’s just the pregnancy hormones.”
“Funny.” I lay back down and rested my cell on my chest, careful not to have it press on my breasts. “What are you two lovebirds up to tonight?” Once Brody left on tour and I was massively pregnant, I’d live vicariously through my brother, and all my cousins. There were plenty of them, that was for damn sure.
“We have a dinner meeting with our contractor. We need to talk floor plans.” Halen clapped her hands together and did a little shoulder dance.
I addressed Beau, “You’re on this guy’s ass about a quick timeline I take it?” What contractor agreed to dinner meetings? I glanced at my watch—it was close to eight.
“Oh yeah.” He slung his arm around Hales and kissed the top of her head. “I’ve got to get this one out of her parents’ house.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “You catch my drift?”
I snorted. “Loud and clear, horn dog.” Beau was growing up to be more and more like our father. Which definitely wasn’t a bad thing. Jacks Cole was loyal and hilarious. He lived with his whole heart and made sure we always saw the silver lining.
And, after all these year, he was still crazy in love with our mom. They held hands all the time and got caught making out in the pantry—often. Growing up we’d made gagging noises and begged them to get a room. But secretly we liked it. Not many kids had parents that were still that deliriously happy together. Beau and I were lucky and we knew it.
Halen’s eyes went soft, concern etched on her face. “How are you feeling?”
How was I feeling? Like crap. I was tired and sick to my stomach all the time. My boobs hurt so bad I almost cried when I’d taken off my bra. And the cherry on top? I didn’t know who my baby’s father was. But that was all my stress, and I refused to let it become theirs. Halen and Beau deserved all the happiness in the world. I wouldn’t be the one to take it away from them.
“A little tired, but otherwise I feel great.”
“Well, you look like hammered shit. Your face is thin, you have dark circles under your eyes, and you sound exhausted.”
Halen cut off my brother with (what I guessed because I couldn’t see below their shoulders) a backhand to the gut.
“Thank you, Beau. Such a kind and diplomatic brother.”
“Do you want us to come see you? We could fly out this weekend if you want? Can you do a paternity test? We can come with you. Do you want us to help you tell them? The potential fathers. Have you talked to your ex?” Hales took a deep breath before starting again. “The new guy? Have you talked to him? Can you tell us who he is now?” Halen’s eyes were wide and her expression hopeful.
Beau put his arm around her, pulling her tighter against him, obviously trying to calm her down and slow her question roll. “Calm down, Sweets, you sound like Aunt Lo when she’s about to lose it.”
“You two are sweet to ask, but I’m a big girl. I can handle this on my own.” Plus I knew they’d try to talk me out of keeping my pregnancy a secret from Brody and Travis. “My ex and I avoid each other at all costs, so no I haven’t talked to him.” I pulled the blanket higher up my chest. “There is a paternity test I can do but I need to wait until I’m twelve weeks.”
“The new guy,” Beau persisted. “Do we get to know who he is?”
I chewed at my bottom lip. It was easy to ignore that question during Halen’s interrogation rant. But now, with my baby brother staring at me with his pretty eyes… “Beau, I don’t know if I’m ready for you guys to—”
“Look, I know you, big sis. You’ve never hesitated when it came to sharing your love life. At times, you over share and we both know it.” I giggled at his disgusted face. I treated Beau like he was one of the girls, never afraid to share details or ask his opinion when it came to the guys I was dating. The older he got the more often he’d run out of my bedroom with his hands over his ears. “So there is either one of two things happening here.” He held up his index finger. “One. There is something not right with this new guy. Maybe he treats you bad, maybe he’s a drug dealer.” He added his middle finger, subtly flipping me the bird like the little brother he was. “Two. We know him.” I narrowed my eyes. And Beau nodded. “So we do know him.”
“No you don’t.”
Beau glanced at Halen, and then back to me. “You’re lying.”
“No I’m not.” Not really. I knew Beau had never met Brody. None of the cousins had; only Luke and Harlow had spent time with him.
“We know of him.” He dragged out the last word, making it sound like a guess. He nodded again, this time slowly. “That’s it. Geeze, Landry, you are still a shit liar.”
I made eye contact with Halen, seeking help. But she only winced. “It’s your eyes; they always give you away.”
I covered my traitorous peepers with my hand. “You don’t know him, you don’t know of him. He’s a stranger to you two, someone one you’ve never come into contact with. In person or via social media. Or television.” There was no reason for my family to know about my relationship with Brody. It would only cause unnecessary stress. He was signed to their label; he was younger than me. Not to mention they thought he was slightly certifiable.
“Landry.” Beau did his best to mirror our dad’s go-to parenting tone. A unique mix of demanding and exasperated.
“Enough, Beau. This is her story to tell, not ours. She’ll tell us when she’s ready.” Halen kissed his cheek to take the sting out of the stern tone she’d used. “Pushing her isn’t going to help anything.”
“Thanks, Hales.” I winked at her.
She blew me a kiss. “Get some rest.”
“Y’all have fun at your meeting. Let me know how it goes.” I gave them my most confident smile. The one that hid how drained I was, how emotionally compromised I felt.
“I love you, Landry.”
Beau’s softly spoken words made tears prick the back of my eyes. “Love you too.” I hung up, hitting the end button before my tears began to spill over. After the screen went black I let those m-fers run unchecked down my face, dripping off my chin to the blanket below.
I was tired. I was confused and scared, and happy and excited.
And in love.
I was in love with the tiny baby growing inside me. I didn’t care who its father was—I’d love it no matter what.
This wasn’t how I’d pictured my life going, not by a long shot. But I was no stranger to change, to good things rising from the ashes of despair.
I put my hand to my bare stomach. “We’re going to be fine, little tummy bug.”