Chapter Three
(Chloe)
“Wait! Wait!” Jax called after me. “I’ll give you a ride.” He conceded.
I said nothing but stepped back inside to reach for the motorcycle helmet on the hallway cabinet.
Jax scooted behind me, shut the door and stood in front of it with one hand on the doorframe to block my exit. “I’ll give you a ride,” he repeated, firmly. “But, if you’re going to ignore my advice and go back to that son-of-a-bitch, then we’ve got something to talk about first.” His was voice slow and unyielding.
“Alright. You’ve got five minutes, Jax. Five minutes or I swear to god, I’ll be out that door so fast…” Although Jax hadn’t given me any other choice; we both knew he was too strong for me to force him aside and storm out like I wanted to. A big part of why I wanted to leave had nothing to do with Roy or my mother. It had to do with Jax himself. I didn’t know if I could trust myself around him. It seemed we both grew up over the last three years and I found myself wanting him in a way I could scarcely describe or even think about. I couldn’t even admit it to myself but I wanted Jax. I wanted to feel his bare skin on mine. I wanted to feel his sweat mingle with my sweat as we laid together in the afterglow of sleeping together. Geez, Chloe, get your mind off becoming a slut…
“Sit down a second,” Jax cut me off mid thought, as he gestured over to the couch. Time was of the essence, if five minutes was all Jax had, he made it clear that he wasn’t about to waste it.
Dammit! For some reason, Jax had to tell me whatever it was right now, and he needed me to sit down before he told me? This really must be serious.
I had wanted to leave, but instead I was moving away from the exit and into the main room. Who knew what he could be playing at? I slowly made my way over to the couch and sat down on the middle seat.
Jax followed close behind me. He sat down beside me on the corner of the sofa, looking tense and edgy. “So…” He paused for a beat and exhaled loudly as he turned his body to face me. “There’s something you should know about Jessie – your father.” He kept his voice calm, but everything about him looked uptight.
I was taken aback. What did any of this have to do with my father?
Jessie Mariano, my father, had been dead ten years. Jax had never asked me about him. Not once. Any time I would mention something about my dad to him, he would change the subject. I always felt he was jealous or something. He’d been like a big brother to me and had also been my best friend. I used to wonder whether he hated any thought of my dad and I having had a closer relationship than Jax I had.
In any case, since my dad had passed when I was eleven, I had always craved to know more about my father’s life with the bikers. So, when Jax wanted to talk about him, I was ready and willing to listen.
“I sort of knew him, when he was around,” Jax said. He paused to search my face with his eyes to see how I would respond.
I felt shocked that Jax hadn’t told me this in all time we’d known each other. I narrowed my eyes at him in confusion. “You mean, you knew of him? Because he was part of your rival MC?” I asked, struggling to understand what he meant to say. Perhaps, it wasn’t as bad as he was making it out to be. Perhaps, he’d only lied to me a little bit.
“Yeah,” Jax paused for another beat. In that instant, he broke our direct eye contact and averted his gaze.
You’re not fooling me. I knew him too well for him to be able to mask when he was hiding something.
Jax went on, “Actually, that’s not quite true either. Well, it’s a little more than that,” he said, giving me yet another vague explanation.
I started to wonder whether he actually had anything to say to me at all. I thought it quite likely that he was stalling until he could come up with a plan to make me stay with him. “It was a little more than that?” I sighed, loudly. “What are you talking about, Jax?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest and looking down at his wristwatch, impatiently. For somebody so desperate to tell me something, he was making a mess of explaining it.
Still, Jax barely looked at me. He chewed his bottom lip between his teeth.
Now my confusion gave way to suspicion. I quickly concluded he definitely had something important to say; but for some reason, he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to keep it a secret.
“You’re not going to like it,” he warned with a glance at my eyes.
I sighed, again. “Well, you’ve got four minutes left Jaxson, so spill it.”
Jax rubbed both hands over the back of his neck, looking decidedly apprehensive. “It’s just something about me. And, something about back when your father passed.”
For a second, I froze in stunned shock. What did Jax know about that? My dad had been on job for his MC when he died. Why the hell was he about to stir up memories of that tragedy now, after the morning I’ve had?
I snapped myself out of my freeze. “Jaxson, this isn’t 20-fucking-questions. What the hell happened?” The fact the he was being so hazy about something to do with my father annoyed me, greatly.
“I- I-” Jax stuttered and paused again.
This is totally out of character for him.
What happened next was hard to believe—Jax’s eyes bored into mine, but they had turned wide and soft, like a young boy afraid of being told off for something he’d done wrong. Although I was still angry at him, I felt like Jax had let me in for the first time and it was comforting in a strange way. I was as though I was seeing a softer side to him that I didn’t think existed. In the seven years that we’d been close friends before I left for College, I’d never known him to be like this. It wasn’t who Jax was; his MC had hardened him quickly. I realized in that moment that he still had a hidden part of himself that world would never saw – most especially not his MC Brothers. I reached out and held his hand in mine. “It’s okay Jax. You’re my best friend. You can tell me.”
This seemed to reassure him.
After about ten seconds, finally, he spoke, “I just…I just couldn’t bear the thought of you growing up the way I did, alright?” he said, with a quiet exhale of relief.
I stared at him, blankly. That’s it? That’s the big announcement? Although, like Jax, I was decidedly relieved as his statement was far from the many grand confessions I had conjured up in my mind. With a slight smile, I asked, “What do you mean by ‘growing up the way you did’? I don’t understand?”
“Without a dad in the picture I mean. It’s not right. It can mess a kid up.”
The smile vanished from my face. “I still had my mom, Jax .We were ok. It wasn’t that bad.” I shrugged, even though it was untrue.
“I can tell when you’re lying to me, Chloe. You know that wasn’t the case,” he argued, pulling away from me and crossing his arms over his chest.
I shrugged my shoulders, again. “Well, I’m grown up now, Jax. I survived and I’m doing okay.”
Half-a-second after those words escaped my lips, I suddenly understood what he’d been trying to tell me—our friendship had been a sham. Jax had only befriended me so he could look out for me.
I turned by body ninety-degrees to the left, away from Jax – dumbfounded and slumped myself against the backrest of the sofa. I didn’t know how to feel. I wished he’d been more upfront about it. He had good intentions. But the fact that he’d befriended me at eleven years old, and that we’d stayed close up until I was eighteen, led me to believe that he liked me a lot and enjoyed my company, rather than because he felt a sense of responsibility to me. Instead, it seemed like he’d toyed with the feelings of love I felt toward him and it was upsetting. I still appreciated what he’d done, but it left a slightly bitter taste in my mouth after my encounter with Roy an hour before.
I stared at the wall ahead of me and asked, “So that’s why you were at Mandy’s so often when I was a kid?” I had to hear him admit it from his own mouth.
Jax moved closer to next me. “Does it make sense now?” he asked, softly. He’d turned to face me but still I didn’t turn to face him.
Eager to justify his dishonesty, Jax started to explain the genesis of his hidden agenda, “Ten years ago, just a couple of weeks after I started prospecting at the Black Devils MC, I went to do some work for my club one morning and word had spread to our gang that Jessie Mariano was dead. It was a big deal. Jessie was soon to be promoted to president of the Bloods MC. As you know, they’ve always been our greatest competitors…we’re enemies.”
He paused, waiting for a response but I didn’t give him one. “Look, a few of my brothers’ were talking about it and then they mentioned that he had a wife…well, a widow, and a young daughter. I got the sense that some of my brothers’ found it funny, like you deserved to lose him. But I knew differently. Nobody deserves to lose a father like that. Anyway, I felt responsible in some way because your dad was a member of an MC and it cost him his life. When you and Sheila moved to town and I saw your mom struggling like that, I had to help. It sure as hell didn’t look like anyone else was going to,” Jax explained solemnly.
I turned my head to face him. I still felt upset, but was swayed by one simple fact. It was something Jax had proved true over and over during the past decade…he had the biggest heart of any biker, or any man in fact, that I’d ever known. “Weren’t you afraid of what you were doing? My dad had been a Blood and Bones biker. As family of your enemies club, you had to be putting yourself at risk by looking out for mom and me.”
Jax took a long inhale and put a protective arm around my shoulder. “I didn’t matter to me at the time. Nobody in Coronado knew who you and Sheila were, and I had to do the right thing. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to live myself. I’ll admit that my MC can turn me in a monster at times. Times when I feel the need to defend the things I love. But to watch you, an innocent child at the time, suffer at the hands of an MC would have killed me inside.”
“I suppose. But it was still a risky move Jax.”
“I knew I was doing the right thing. Nobody ever thinks of the people that a man’s death leaves behind. Part of me wanted to make amends for the people my MC had killed. Besides, I swore a solemn oath when I was patched into my club to defend and protect this town. Just because my brothers chose to ignore you and your mom, didn’t mean I was going to. Although no one seems to notice the good Bruno De Luca’s MC does for Coronado, we have always kept this town and its residents, safe. That includes you and your mom, Chloe.”
For a moment, I didn’t respond, thinking about what Jax had told me. “So that’s why you joined the Black Devils in the first place, wasn’t it?”
Jax gave a heavy sigh and didn’t answer my question directly. “It was the reason I worked so hard for the club, yes. It helped me keep going all these years, feeling a sense of pride and purpose. When I heard about your mom busting her ass down at the diner all hours, I just wanted to make amends.”
I leaned forward towards him. “But how did you wind up a biker anyway?” I asked, still itching to know the answer to my previous question. I’d asked Jax these questions often growing up, and he never gave me a straight answer.
Finally, I would know.
He shrugged. “Call it coincidence. Luck. Fate. I don’t know. I met Bruno just a few weeks after he had formed our club. I was the first prospect Bruno took on. Before the day Bruno took me on, we’d never met. I only knew him by reputation.”
“But how did you meet him? Was it in the Biker’s bar?”
“Like I said, it was a twist of fate. I had gotten into a lot of trouble after I left school at 16. One day, when I was 17, I fucked up big time bad. Jacked a car to impress some of the guys I used to hang around with and went for a joy ride.
“What were you thinking?” I exclaimed.
“I wasn’t thinking. But the story gets worse, the car I had stolen belonged to an off-duty police officer and before long, there were cops and sirens blaring behind me. In a panic, I tried to hide in the parking lot of what looked like an abandoned storage warehouse. In reality, I had driven right into the car lot of the Black Devil’s clubhouse. The cop cars followed me. That was the first time I ever saw Bruno. He stepped out into the parking lot…tall, fierce, with a gun in hand, pointed right at me. I was sure he was going to kill me.”
I put one hand over my mouth in shock. “Are you serious about this?” Thoughts of Roy and Jax’s lies had left my mind for the time being. I was fascinated by his story.
“Yep! Anyway, Bruno leveled the barrel of his gun at my head through the car window. He didn’t know who I was. And I didn’t have the balls to move. I was practically still a kid and Bruno was the first man to ever aim a gun at me. In a flash, three cop cars flew around the corner into the parking lot. Either Bruno or cops would have had me. I didn’t move. I figured either way, I was done for. I was on my second strike with the police. So, one more run in with the law and I’d be locked up inside, if Bruno didn’t shoot me first.”
“Oh, my god! I would have been shaking and crying like crazy if that happened to me!” I exclaimed.
Judging by the expression on Jax’s face, I could tell that his reaction at the time was fairly similar – his eyes reflected the panic he’d felt when he stared these men down that day.
“What did you do?” I asked breathlessly.
“What could I have done? I did nothing. My hands were still gripped firmly on the steering wheel. I broke my shit scared freeze just enough to duck my head down onto the wheel. I remember crushing my eyelids shut and praying for a miracle.”
Holy shit. By comparison, the bad morning I’d had didn’t even come close to how I would have felt if that story had played out on me.
Jax took a breath and then continued, “Next thing I knew, I heard the engines of the cop cars starting up. They drove off; that was it. The officers didn’t say a word to me. I peeked up from the wheel of the car and remember being so shocked that the cars were really gone.”
“What happened?” I asked, staring at Jax in confusion.
“I nearly jumped out of my skin when Bruno tapped on the car window with the barrel of his gun. He’d had a word with the cops and saved me. I didn’t know at the time that he pretty much owned the police force in our jurisdiction. That same afternoon, Bruno took me on. I got full immunity from the cops, and he got me. The alternative to joining the club would have been going down…3 years locked up in the joint, minimum. So naturally, I was elated at my luck. “
I stared at him in stunned shock. He had a slight smile on his face, and his eyes had lit up, as he remembered the day he was taken on by Bruno. But I couldn’t get over what he had just revealed to me—Jax had been blackmailed into joining the Black Devils MC! And, somehow, Bruno had made Jax feel grateful for it.
As Jax thought back to that day, and the events that followed, he started to reveal more, “Bruno told me he saw a young man with potential and gave me a shot at a job working for him. He pays all of my brothers – and he pays them well. He told me I was worth something and that I could make something of myself at a time when even my own mother didn’t believe in me. He made me believe in me.”
I stayed quiet to let him talk. I could see the point he was making,
“Shit. I didn’t even believe in me, not then.”
I sighed this might have been true but it didn’t change the fact that Bruno practically owned him to this day for doing him a favor one time‒saving him from the cops.
Jax went on, “I learned. I did everything that was asked of me; and I was doing damn well in my training with De Luca, doing great, and I couldn’t give up on that. If I made it as a full patch member, the job would come with a lot of perks too, including this apartment. I had a real opportunity with the club nobody else would have given me.”
Finally, I expressed how really felt, “Opportunity? That’s pretty twisted,” I said shaking my head. It was clear to me that Jax was no more than a puppet, and Bruno was pulling the strings. I didn’t even want to imagine how many hours of his life he had slaved to line his boss’ pockets with cash, and how many people Jax had killed on Bruno’s orders.
Jax shook his head. “The Black Devils are a solid and honourable motorcycle club, Chloe. Bruno designed it that way. He founded the MC in honor of his brother, Charlie, who was a good man, and Bruno promised him the club would be something Charlie would have been proud of. When I met Bruno, he took me into the back office and explained to me how the club protected and improved this town, and how I could be a part of it. I had a shot at making something of myself and doing something good with my life.”
“That may be, but you were blackmailed into that MC, Jax. Just face it,” I argued.
Jax slammed his hands down on his thighs. “No! It wasn’t like that. Nothing like that, at all. Don’t you see? Bruno believed in me and I’ve never had that before. Not even my own mother believed in me. He gave me a chance and I’ll never forget th—”
“It’s simple enough, Jax,” I cut him off before he could go on and my voice had risen. “Bruno did you a favor ten years ago, so now he flat-out owns you for life!” I exclaimed.
“No!” he yelled, throwing his head back and his eyes to the ceiling.
“That’s what you said Jax,” I snapped back.
“I said no such thing. My MC means the world to me. In all the years we’ve been friends, I would have thought you understood that. If you didn’t have a problem with my club back then, then why do you have a problem with it now? Bruno gave me everything. All I had to do was put in the effort…I dread to think what would have become of me if I hadn’t been patched in.”
I sighed. “I don’t have a problem with your MC, Jax. You never told me about how you joined, that’s all.”
“Listen. Working for Bruno is a big deal. Bruno’s well respected, ruthless, fiercely competitive, and a winner in every respect. ‘A king among men’ that’s what they call him. Any guy would jump at the chance to be mentored by him. And he wanted me. Me, Chloe!”
I nodded my head, although not entirely convinced, knowing that I’d offended Jax deeply. His club was everything to him.
Jax made one final attempt to sway my view of Bruno and his club, “Back then, after I left school, I took drugs, stole, got into fights. I’d made a mess of my life and my mom was practically done with me. Then, when I started prospecting at the Black Devils, I directed all my energies to earning enough money to buy my first bike. If it hadn’t been for the MC, I’m sure my life would have come to a bad end long ago. Who knows by this time, I might even be dead if it weren’t for the MC. They gave me a purpose I didn’t have before.”
I considered the information for a moment and then nodded, sincerely. I never looked at it that way. Maybe it was true, he would’ve ended up badly. “I understand.”
There was minute or two of silence as his edginess calmed down; we were both now fairly drained.
Jax broke the silence first, “Anyway, not having a dad around really fucked me up. My point is that I didn’t want the same for you. I got lucky being patched into the Black Devils. I had my brothers and a sense of family that I’d been missing. But you never had that…not after your dad was gone. I had to pay it forward somehow.” He took hold of both my hands in his and pulled me to my feet. With his arm over my shoulder again, Jax walked me over to his bedroom. “You can sleep in my room, I’ll take the couch.” He pushed open the door, “Come and stay with me here, Chloe. I’m not all bad, you know. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m trying to help you.”
“Just give me a minute Jax, ok? I need to think.” I stepped inside and took a glance around the room.
“Take all the time you need. I’ll make us some coffee.” He disappeared out of the doorway.
The bedroom was small and depressingly basic, no TV, an old radio, a mirror on the wall opposite the bed, and a bedside table with an alarm clock. Judging by what I’d seen of Jax’s place, it was obvious he spent a lot more time in his MC clubhouse than he did in this apartment.
The sole virtue of the bedroom was the large sash window that looked right out over Coronado and its miles of motionless waterfront. Disappointingly, with the heavy rain streaming down the window and thick fog outside, visibility was next to nothing. If it hadn’t been such a rotten day, the view would be nothing short of spectacular.
I walked over to the foot of the bed and sat down. I stared at my reflection in the mirror on the wall that faced me. My face looked as exhausted as my mind and body felt. As I stared at my drained face, I told myself one thing, Jax didn’t have to worry. I wasn’t going anywhere tonight. My next thought was that any longer than one night would be madness. Although I trusted Jax, for all I knew, he had an agenda all his own.
My eyes traveled down my body, and then winced at the horrific look of my arms as deep scratches, redness and black and purple bruises covered them.
Count yourself lucky you got away from Roy, it could have been much worse.
I pulled up the short sleeves of the shirt over my shoulder; the skin on my shoulder was even redder than my arms. It only made me hope that Roy had never done the same or worse to anybody else—especially, my mother.