I was nervous as hell. Gareth stood on one side of me and Jayden on the other. He gripped my hand as we entered the garden area of the mental hospital. Rebel, Harley and Ransom had already been out to see Paul. Now it was just Gareth and me. Axel had argued that he didn’t want Gareth going in without him, so Gareth had finally conceded that Axel could stay in a corner out of the way. I let Gareth go first. Paul was sitting on a wooden bench, his face lifted to the sun. We were surrounded by rose bushes in different colors, picnic tables and quiet waterfalls. Jayden and I sat down at one of the picnic tables behind Paul and watched as Gareth sat beside him.

“Is he … okay?” Jayden asked.

“Paul? Yeah, I mean they diagnosed him with clinical depression and posttraumatic stress disorder from the car crash. He’s got a long road to recovery. I think what he wants most is forgiveness.”

“Forgiveness?” Jayden turned to me with a quizzical look.

I forgot we hadn’t told the public who was actually behind the stalking and trying to harm Gareth after he came out. I trusted Jayden to keep the information to himself.

“This has to be kept between us.” I leaned into him.

“I understand.”

“Paul was the one who sent the notes to Gareth when he came out. He was the one behind everything. He wanted to be back in the band playing lead guitar and he was doing everything in his power to get there, including using our money to have experimental surgery on the hand he hurt in the wreck that ended his career.”

“But Gareth had already taken over that job, and the band took off.” Jayden said slowly.

“Yes, Paul was envious of Gareth, from his skills at playing guitar to Ransom’s love for him. Ransom had always been overprotective of his little brother, Gareth, and Paul felt shut out when Ransom started spending more time and focus on him. The depression and P.T.S.D didn’t help either. Paul did some things he would have never done otherwise.”

“So you guys put him here, to protect him?”

“Yes. We knew if it got out, the media would never leave him alone and that’s the last thing he needs.”

I smiled as Gareth leaned into Paul, hugging him. I could tell Paul was crying.

“Gareth is a special man,” Jayden said, softly.

“Yeah, he really is.”

Gareth stood up and headed in our direction. He wiped his eyes and smiled at us. “He’s doing well today. You should go over there now.”

“You okay?” I took Gareth’s hands.

“Yes. I know he’s got a long road, but he’s trying. Axel told me that P.T.S.D., left untreated, can become much more dangerous to the individual and those around them.”

“Well, we’ll go see him. We’ll meet you out by the car?”

“Sure.” Gareth grinned, taking Jayden’s hand. “Are you coming back to Arizona with us?”

“Yes, I’m going to Flagstaff with Jinx.”

“Cool, let’s hang out!”

“I heard you have a treehouse.” Jayden chattered excitedly.

“Dude, we have got to get together.” Gareth slapped Jayden’s back.

“You’re on!”

“Okay, can we go now?” I arched a brow at Gareth.

“Go!” Gareth pushed us.

 

I took Jayden’s hand as we crossed the grass to Paul’s bench. His face was a bit pale, but all in all, he looked happy. I sat down next to him and Jayden stood off to the side. Paul’s eyes lifted to mine and a genuine smile crossed his features.

“Jinx. It’s good to see you. Thanks for coming to see me.”

“Of course.” I took his good hand.

“And who’s this?” Paul motioned to Jayden.

“Paul, this is my boyfriend, Jayden Dempsey.”

“Boyfriend, huh?” Paul chuckled. “I knew you swung both ways, Jett.” Paul extended his hand to Jayden, who shook it carefully. “You must be something special to snag Jinx here.”

“He is, Paul. He really is.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you found somebody, Jinx.” Paul’s brows furrowed. “I’m worried about Harley. I told Stan to keep one of the guys on him all the time. He’s becoming more reckless, Jinx.”

“I know, Paul. We’re keeping someone on him 24/7, okay? Don’t worry about it.”

“He needs someone,” Paul continued. “Someone to let him know he’s there, that’s he’s not invisible. That he matters.”

“I know,” I reassured him calmly. “I’ll make sure Harley’s okay.”

“I used to worry about you, too, Jinx, but you found someone who makes you a whole note, huh?”

I was surprised that Paul used a musical reference, although I shouldn’t have been. Paul was one hell of a guitarist before the accident.

“Yeah.” I looked up at Jayden. “I did.”

“Ransom wants to move me to Arizona when I’m a little more stable. I think I might like that. It’s kinda smoggy here.”

“Well, it is L.A.,” I chuckled.

“I just want to get better.” Paul glanced at me. “I want to be me again.”

“You will be. We all want that for you.” I hugged him. “I miss you, man.”

“I miss you, too.” Paul hugged me back hard. “You guys are my family.”

“And we always will be.” I assured him.

 

We left Paul with his therapist and Jayden and I walked back to the parking lot. I broke down because I was trying to hold it together for Paul. Just seeing him like that, so wistful. Gareth put his arms around me and we both cried. Sometimes I found it hard to believe how forgiving Gareth was. Paul could have killed him with some of the accidents he arranged, but Gareth doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. We pulled apart, wiping our eyes and noses.

“He bring up Harley?” Gareth snuffled.

“Yeah, and it’s a legitimate concern. His parents didn’t come to the show.”

“No surprise there.” Gareth pursed his lips and balled his fists. “Ugh! What is wrong with them? Don’t they know  ̶ ” Gareth stopped and inhaled deeply, blowing out a slow breath. “I am not going to get upset. We’ll take care of Harley.”

“No, Achilles will.” Axel spoke up. “And you’ll let him. Achilles is a lot smarter than you know.”

“Yes, well, he seems to be able to keep up with Harley and his disappearing acts,” I pointed out.

“Are you guys ready to go?” Axel asked.

I took Jayden’s hand and kissed him. “Yeah. I think so.”

 

~*~

 

We opted to take the tour bus back home. Jayden had said goodbye to his guys, telling them that he’d see them in Arizona. I was spread out on the plush couch with Jayden between my legs as we watched the finale again. Sebastian had given us a taping and warned me not to break his guy. Turns out, Jericho asked Zeke to start a band with him and Sebastian signed on as their producer and manager. I turned my head slightly to see Harley fast asleep in the recliner, Achilles seated nearby, watching him.

“Will you tell me about Harley? Why does he need to be watched?” Jayden whispered in my ear.

“Long story but yes, I’ll tell you when we get home.”

Ransom chuckled across from us, watching the show. “One of these days, Rebel, that long hair is going to get wrapped around a string and get yanked out.”

“Jealous of my luscious locks?” Rebel whipped his hair back and forth.

“Nah, I’m good with mine.”

“Ransom, you never did tell us about your conversation with Sal Falco.” I winked knowingly.

“He’s a fan.” Ransom shrugged.

“He seemed a little gay.” I arched my brows.

“Now you have gaydar?” Ransom laughed. “Trust me, he’s not. He’s the leading man in every action flick. He’s had more lip time with women than me.”

“Doesn’t mean jack,” Rebel chimed in. “He could be using that as a front.”

“What about his girlfriend?” Ransom asked. “She’s always with him.”

“A beard?” Jayden suggested. “You know, a woman gay men use to make people think he’s straight?” Jayden clarified.

“It does happen all the time.” Gareth nodded.

“No.” Ransom shook his head. We all stared at him, eyebrows raised. “No! I mean, it’s just not possible, okay?”

“What if he was, huh, big bro?” Gareth waggled his brows. “Would you ride the bologna pony?”

“Shut up, Gareth.” Ransom threw a pillow at his brother.

“Oh yeah, Ransom would ride that beast to the altar of sin,” Rebel cracked up.

“Stop dickrespecting Ransom,” I snickered.

“This is dickriculous,” Gareth sighed.

“Will you guys quit!” Ransom leaned over, holding his stomach in laughter. “I was with a chick that night anyway.”

“Oh realllllly?” I narrowed my eyes at Ransom. “Which one?”

“Was it the one Paul would have called Butterface?” Rebel tilted his head and thought.

“Butterface?” Jayden looked to me for explanation.

“A woman who is sexy all over. But.Her.Face. Get it? Butterface?”

“That’s so mean!” Jayden slapped my bicep.

“Yeah, well, big daddy long dick over there is never hurting for women.” I winked at Ransom.

“Neither were you, Superman,” Ransom shot back. “But now you’re domesticated and shit.”

“Fuck yeah I am, and proud of it.”

“We’ve all pounded the punanni pavement, now it’s time to grow up.” Rebel said, trying to keep a straight face.

Harley stretched out his arms and grinned. “Get some stankie on the hang down.”

“He lives!” I laughed, throwing Harley a grin.

“How many more hours of this do we have?” Jayden asked Axel.

“A lot.”

I noticed Gareth had a devilish smile in his face. I cocked a brow and narrowed my gaze at him.

“Why do you look like the cat that ate the canary?”

“Oh, nothing. I kinda knew you two would work all this shit out.”

“Oh? How?”

“Dinner with Jayden. He might have said he wanted you.”

“Is that right?” I leaned forward.

“Yeah, but I wanted to see you sing the Backstreet Boys.” Gareth smirked.

“Ass.”

“Yep.”

 

We got to my place in Flagstaff at ten at night. Jayden and I waved to the guys as the bus rolled back down my driveway. I was dead tired even though I’d slept for a few hours. Jayden hauled his bag over his shoulder and took my hand. I was finally home and I couldn’t wait to fall asleep with Jayden in my arms. I unlocked the front door and turned on the hall light. My place smelled of disinfectant, so at least I knew it was clean.

My parents and Jayden’s had flown home and we promised to all get together soon. I wanted to spend as much time as I possibly could with Jayden. I went to the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of water out of the fridge. Jayden was standing in the middle of my kitchen looking around.

“Tired?” I sympathized.

“A little. I’d like to see your drum set, though.”

“That I can do.” I grinned, handing him his water and taking his free hand. I led him to the room where I keep my grandfather’s drums. He squatted in front of them, running his fingers along the rims.

“Wow, these are in great shape. How old are they?”

“Over thirty years. My grandpa took good care of them.”

“So do you.” Jayden straightened and turned to face me. “You think we’ll actually work?”

“I know we will. I didn’t sing a boy band song to the world just to have you leave me.”

“That was really brave on your part,” Jayden snickered.

“I wanted you to know you’re not just another notch or checkmark. You’re it, Jayden.”

“To think this all began at the mall.” Jayden wrapped his arms around me.

“Then the glory hole,” I laughed.

“I couldn’t figure out why the guy in the next stall wasn’t sticking his dick in.”

“What were you doing there, anyway?”

“Relieving stress? I hadn’t had sex in about eight months or so.”

I whistled low and Jayden flushed.

“I’m picky, okay?” he defended.

“Um, random cock in a hole is not picky,” I pointed out.

“Well, it turned out to be your fantastic cock,” Jayden said huskily across my lips.

“You keep that up and I’ll have to throw you down right here and make savage love to you.”

“Oooh, threaten me with a good time whenever you want!”

I picked Jayden up and he wrapped his legs around my hips.

“Where are we going?” Jayden licked up my neck.

“I want to do dirty things to you,” I replied, biting his bottom lip.

“Let’s get in the shower, we can get dirty and clean.”

I liked that idea. In fact, I liked it a lot. There were still a few things I wanted to do to Jayden and there were a shit ton of things I wanted him to do to me. I got him upstairs and into my bathroom, turning the water on and testing the temperature. Jayden undressed quickly, throwing his clothes in a heap on the floor. My mouth watered as I looked over his naked flesh. Jayden moved closer to me and his hands expertly flicked the button on my jeans. I lifted my arms and he removed my shirt, kissing my chest and licking my nipples, as he got busy removing my pants. My dick stood at attention, leaning as it always did and Jayden gripped me and began to stroke. We moved into the shower, Jayden still jacking me off as he tongue fucked my mouth. Fuck, the guy could kiss! I felt him everywhere, and my mind wandered back to when he fucked me, how it felt to have him inside me.

We took the showerhead down and Jayden washed me from head to toe, taking great care along my ass crack. We touched, nipped, and sucked on each other until we were ready to blow. Jayden shut off the water and we toweled off quickly, then headed for my bedroom. I barely got to the bed before Jayden shoved me down on my stomach and pulled my ass cheeks apart. I had seconds to process everything before Jayden launched an attack on my asshole.

“Oh FUCK!” I gripped the comforter and bit down on it as Jayden’s tongue slid inside me. My ass arched up higher and Jayden reached beneath me to jack me off. My hips bucked into his hand as I pushed back on his tongue, which was wiggling cheerfully along my anal walls and darting in and out.

“You like that, Josiah?” Jayden licked along my perineum before diving into me again.

“God…yes! Need you!” I barely got out.

My dick was about to explode and Jayden straddled me. Somewhere in the distance of my sex-induced haze, I heard the sound of a condom package rip and then Jayden thrust his dick into my ass. I let out a cry of satisfaction and then Jayden began riding me in earnest. I was right on the edge when he was fucking my asshole with his tongue; now the fireworks were building in my balls as Jayden angled his thrusts, nailing me over and over again until I saw stars. My dick erupted on the comforter below me without help and then Jayden cried out, his body shuddering behind me as he filled me with warmth, his hips still thrusting as he rode me through his orgasm.

We laid there for what seemed like hours, breathing hard and holding each other. Jayden’s lips brushed against mine seductively and I opened one eye to see him smiling at me.

“You’re an animal in bed,” I murmured.

“I think you like having me pound you.” Jayden smiled, kissing my cheek.

“It’s definitely different. I love the way it feels, though. The pressure, the burn, that full feeling and then when you hit me just right?” I shivered. “Feels so fucking good.”

“I think you might just be a bottom, Jinx.”

“What if I like fucking you?”

“We can do both. I’m not opposed to being a bottom. I actually like the feeling as well.”

I chuckled and Jayden cocked a brow.

“What?” he asked.

“When Gareth told me he and Axel were versatile, I couldn’t believe it.”

“I don’t see why. You love the feeling of dick in your ass.”

“I like that stuffed feeling,” I admitted.

“Well, I’m no anaconda, but I’m pretty proud of my guy.”

“I like him. A lot.” I waggled my brows.

I planned to suck Jayden’s cock, just as soon as I could move again. I chuckled at the thought and Jayden smiled.

“What?” he asked.

“I have a few plans for you, sexy.”

“Is that right?” Jayden nipped my lip.

“Yes, but I think we need to sleep for about twelve hours. I want to take you into town tomorrow, show you the sights.”

“I’m all for that.” Jayden yawned and snuggled into my chest.

I held him close, just breathing in his scent. I wanted to tell him how I felt, but not during or after sex. It needed to be said outside of the bedroom. Jayden’s even breathing signaled that he’d fallen asleep. I kissed his forehead and closed my eyes.