Chapter 13: Skylar

On March 11th I turned eighteen. My mom made my favorite meal, chicken Parmesan, and Gavin came for dinner. After we’d stuffed ourselves on pasta, Mom brought out the cake. I nearly salivated when I saw that it was coconut, with light pink cherry frosting.

“I’m going to be too fat to ski, Mom.”

“Never,” said my father. “Your metabolism is like your mother’s. Besides, I forbid you to be one of those girls who’s obsessed with her weight.”

“I know, but if I ski next year for Vista College…”

Mom placed a slice of cake on a plate and set it in front of me. “You’re getting into Cornell,” she said. “I have a feeling.”

I wanted to ask if she had any sort of feeling about a scholarship, but I held my tongue. Mom and Dad were solidly middle class, existing in this upper-crust town that had the same diversity as a loaf of Wonder Bread. No college was going to give me a free ride, especially not if they knew who my sister was. But Jo Beth hadn’t offered to help with my tuition and I didn’t know how to ask.

I took a bite of cake and savored the divine taste of butter, sugar, and euphoria. “Oh my God, Mom! This is the best cake you’ve ever made and that’s saying a lot.”

Mom pointed to Gavin. “It was his recipe. Amazing, right?”

Gavin’s cheeks turned as pink as the frosting. “I actually think it could be tweaked a little…”

“No. Don’t change a thing.” I reached over to squeeze his shoulder. “Thank you, Gavin. It’s absolutely delicious.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” he replied. “You haven’t even opened your present.” Gavin reached a hand underneath the table, into his jean pocket, and pulled out a tiny box, which he gave to me. “Here,” he said, flicking his bangs out of his eyes. “Happy birthday.”

Judging from the size of the box, it had to be jewelry.

Oh God.

He was giving me jewelry, and in front of my parents, which only quadrupled the awkwardness factor. Hopefully the ring or necklace, or whatever it was, wasn’t heart-shaped. My throat went dry and my panic must have been clearly telegraphed, because Gavin smirked. “Don’t worry, Sky. You’re going to like what’s in the box.”

I lifted the lid. Inside, nestled on a bed of cotton, was a silver book-shaped charm with Jane Eyre—Brontë engraved on the cover. Well, Gavin knew me well enough to know that Jane Eyre was my most favorite book, that I identified with Jane, who believed you could be conventional and still be wrong.

“It’s a key chain,” Gavin said. “You’ll understand, once you open your next present.”

“Huh?”

I looked from face to face in confusion. Dad took a deep breath and handed me a manila envelope, which he’d stashed next to him all through dinner. “It’s from your sister,” he said in a gravelly voice. He used his free hand to scratch at his beard, signaling his disapproval. I opened the envelope and pulled out the papers. There was a note on top.

Happy birthday to the best little sister in the world! Sky, you have goals and dreams that I don’t understand, but never forget how much you have going for you at home. This is going to shock you, but I think you could be as good at skiing as I am, maybe even better. You just don’t push yourself enough. That’s why I want you to have my condo. You can train and you’ll have a place of your own while you go to Vista College. Who knows, maybe the Olympics will be in your future!

Love always,

Jo Beth

Underneath the notes were some legal documents that I tried to make sense of, until Mom spoke up. “She’s set up a trust, Honey. You will get the condo when you turn twenty-one. Until then you can live there, but none of it will legally be yours for another three years.”

“But…why?”

“She was going to give it to you now,” Dad said. “But after we talked, she decided it was better to wait. Your sister has an agenda, Sky. She’s decided that what’s best for you is to stay here and focus on your skiing.”

This was all wrong. My tongue felt so thick, I was surprised my speech didn’t come out slurred. “That’s not what I meant. Why is she giving it to me at all? Won’t she want the condo for herself someday?”

An uncomfortable look passed between my mother and father. “I don’t know,” my mother finally said. “Jo Beth can be erratic. But more than anything, she loves you, and that’s why she’s also decided to draft a will. Should anything happen to her, you will receive everything—all her stocks, all her money—everything.”

“But she’s only twenty-one! Why is she thinking about a will?”

Dad shrugged. “When you’re worth as much she is…”

His voice trailed off, but Dad didn’t need to finish his statement. We all knew what he was thinking. Jo Beth never planned on returning. She would spend the rest of her life in or around Santiago. And for whatever reason, she wanted to be prepared for the worst to happen.

Later, Gavin and I went for a walk. A few sunny days had melted all the snow, but nighttime brought freezing temps, turning the afternoon’s puddles to patches of ice. I hit one the wrong way with the tip of my boot and went sliding. Gavin quickly grabbed my elbow and steadied me, saving me from what could have been an ugly fall.

“Thanks.” I promptly pulled my arm out of his grasp.

“Don’t be mad,” he said.

“I just don’t get why you knew about the condo and the will before I did.”

He tipped his head back and looked up at the stars. “I didn’t know about the will at all. As for the condo, I just thought you got to live there by yourself for as long as you wanted.”

“Yeah? I still say that you and my mom are too close.”

“Come on, Sky.” He looked at me with eyes like the frozen puddles I’d just skidded over. “I asked her what I should get you for your birthday and she said, ‘get her a keychain.’ Then she just spilled.” He stepped on a slippery patch over a slope in the sidewalk, and the impact of his boot made a satisfying crunching sound. “She probably thought I’d understand, since my grandpa left me his cabin and I know what it’s like to own property at such a young age.” Gavin had been super close to his grandfather; he was the one who’d taught him to cook, and Gavin’s favorite childhood memories had taken place at his grandfather’s cabin in the woods. When his grandfather died from cancer a few years ago he’d left the cabin to Gavin. I’d visited the cabin a few times and found it charming with its rickety, homemade furniture, like the family’s cottage that the monster from Frankenstein spies upon. While we were there Gavin would always cook me a gourmet meal and afterwards he’d try and make out with me. Sometimes I’d let him. “Anyway,” Gavin continued, “your mom made me promise that I wouldn’t ruin the surprise, and honestly, I don’t see what difference it makes.”

I filled my lungs with alpine air. Beyond me, the mountain was lit by tiny lights. My parent’s house was miles from the ski resort, but when we were at Jo Beth’s condo—my condo soon—we’d be closer to those lights.

I stepped in next to Gavin and slid my hand into the pocket of his wool coat. Gavin was the only guy I knew who didn’t wear a ski jacket. “Do you think I ought to stay here and ski, instead of going away to school?”

Gavin stopped walking, so I did too. Inside his pocket, his fingers closed over mine. “I can’t answer that.”

“Why not?”

“Because what I want you to do and what I think you ought to do are all confused inside my brain.” He used his free hand to trace a path among the freckles over my nose and cheeks. Then he leaned in and let his lips do the same thing. Baby kisses against my face, a hand squeezing my fingers, an arm around my waist, his chest heaving against mine. “You should just kiss me for real,” I murmured.

“You’re bossy,” he replied.

I made my lips find his and my free arm wrapped itself around his shoulders. For a moment I was just a girl who sort-of loved her sort-of boyfriend, trying to decide between leaving him for school or staying with him for skiing. But soon my anxiety crashed the party and thoughts of Jo Beth took over.

I pulled away.

“We should get back,” I said. “My parents will wonder what took us so long.”

That night, sleep would not come. My mind was too full of questions. Was Jo Beth in trouble? And if so, did it have anything to do with this new boyfriend she’d emailed me about, Mitch? After I’d been lying in bed for an hour I surrendered to insomnia, powered on my computer, and re-read Jo Beth’s most recent email, which was already weeks old.

Sky,

I’m down in Santiago for the day to do some shopping and I stopped at a cyber café so I could email you. I have so much to tell you! I guess Mitch and I are moving sort of fast, because I’m pretty much living with him now! But everyone at Portillo is like family and I can’t get enough of Mitch. I wish you could meet him. I never knew there’d be someone for me, someone I could spend my days with and not feel restless, someone I could talk to, someone who would understand me and love me for who I am.

You have to come to Portillo. I’ll pay. Maybe this summer? Graduation gift? Say yes!!

Love always,

Jo Beth

I’d already responded, saying I’d love to visit if it didn’t interfere with my college plans, whatever they turned out to be. And, of course, I’d need Mom and Dad’s approval, but otherwise, it was a solid yes.

Now I wrote back again.

Jo Beth,

Today’s my birthday and I got your generous gift. Thank you!

Then I stopped. I wanted to sound gracious but I also wanted answers. Why was she trying to control my life by forcing me into the skiing career she’d given up on? Why was she so sure she’d never come home? And why was she thinking about wills—about death—when, if I took her emails at face-value, she ought to have been thinking about love, marriage, and maybe even motherhood?

I resumed typing.

You’re too good to me. I can’t wait to see you, Jo. It’s been way too long.

My questions would have to wait. I would get no answers from an email. I needed to see my sister, face to face. After all, I had learned the same lesson from her as I had from Charlotte Brontë in Jane Eyre. It’s silly to believe people can be content with calm. Jo Beth especially needed action and drama, and she was always willing to invent her own, unless some drama came along and found her first. Had drama found Jo Beth and had it taken human form? Was its name Mitch?

Meeting him was the only way to find out.