For dinner that night we had pizza and a couple of beers. Pizza, because we were still laying around like invalids. Michael had worked, although as he put it, “not well.” Everyone had to work the next morning, and it was Friday, so there was no skipping.

We turned in fairly early, but then Hayley and Michael had noisy sex for a while with paper thin walls, which sucked. I wrapped the pillow around my head. Then I used earbuds and Spotify, listening to Ed Sheeren. I thought about how Magnus would probably like Ed, and yet, it wasn't up to me to show him.

Hayley and Michael went to work early. I slept in and promised to do laundry. Then Hayley and Michael came home and Michael reported that Zach told him Magnus had gone to the dentist and the doctor, because Lady Mairead's nurse, Beth, made him, because he had never gone before. Hayley quickly changed the subject, but I was left with a pang of sadness. Too much information about someone I wasn't supposed to care about anymore.

I stayed in, while they went out for the night, feeling terrifically sorry for myself. I was alone and unnecessary. Not one person in the world needed me. I watched tv.

Saturday was Hayley's day off and we lazed around all morning. Then we went shopping and met up with Michael and James for dinner. They told us Magnus had gone with Quentin to Jax Beach to check out the military base there. Again, not enough information, and too much, at once.

Hayley asked, “Is he going to come out tonight?”

James said, “Who, Magnus? Nah, Quentin is dropping him off before he comes.” I could have sworn I saw him flick his eyes toward me.

Everybody showed up, Sarah, Quentin, more friends from James's work, some from Michael's work. We filled four tables and the band was loud and good. We danced and talked and finally uber-ed home.

I tried to be fun through this whole thing. I mean, I only knew Magnus for a couple of weeks. It was ridiculous to pine for a man I barely knew. But, it was a small island. I had forgotten how hard it is to break up with someone in a small town. Not that we broke up. We hadn't been anything at all. Just friends. And now he didn't want to be around me at all.

What had I done?

That was the phase I was in now—what had I done? Had I come on too strong? When I was alone with my thoughts, they always came back to one thing, I was unlovable. It's not an easy thing to come to terms with at the ripe age of twenty-three.

Sunday, James, Michael, and Hayley arranged to have a cookout at James's house. During it I heard about how James was planning to take Magnus to work with him Monday because Magnus wanted to see houses being built. My friends mentioned this stuff because they didn't want to be accused of hiding it, but it all came out like a confession, with shifty eyes and apologetic glances, which, quite frankly, hurt my feelings even more than before. I didn't know what I would do if I saw him, but also, ouch. He had cut me from his life completely, and it stung.

And that's why I decided that if nothing changed by the next weekend I would do something drastic. Like tinder. Maybe, especially, because Hayley and Michael were noisy as hell, and I needed to spend the night somewhere else, but she wanted me to extend my visit. She loved having me here, the one person in my life who actually liked me.

One night, home with Hayley, having a beer, talking over her day, she said, “Let me get you a job.”

“A job? Like temp work?”

“I need someone to do a call center for credit card billing. It's the bottom of the pile, but it would get you out of the house.”

I feigned horror. “But I like the house. I want to stay in the house. Maybe I could be a bartender. Then I would see you more often.”

“Yes! There's an idea. I would love to be best friends with a bartender. Do that.”

“How do I do that?”

“I think a class. I'll research it tomorrow.” She swigged from her beer.

“Good, because ever since I was a little girl I thought, I want to grow up and serve alcohol to people.”

“You joke, but it's a good idea. It's the opposite of what you've been doing. Lying around here, being a super, sad, cautionary tale.”

“Yeah.” I stared off into space. “Does Magnus still live here?”

“He's still in town. Zach still loves working there. He told Michael that Magnus's favorite band now is Foo Fighters. Also, that he's teaching them self-defense, with swords. Which is so cool. I'm the best temp company owner in the world that I got him that job.”

“You know I kind of got you the jobs.”

“Yeah, true, but not as cool. I wish we knew what happened — you were his main go-to person for everything. It was clear he liked you. I wish I understood what happened there.”

“Is he dating someone?” I tried to make it sound casual, like whatevs.

“No, definitely not. Emma told me he acts like he's leaving. He's getting everyone ready to run the house while he's not there.”

“That's why. He said he couldn't go out with me because he was leaving.”

“At least it was true. Not much comfort, but he wasn't lying at least. That's an improvement for you.”

“Yeah, but why won't he see me until he goes? Am I repulsive?”

“You know that's not what it is. It's more likely he liked you too much. That he was worried he would —”

“Oh god, are you going to be one of those kinds of friends? A guy doesn't want to be with me, tells me, goes out of his way to avoid me, and you're going to tell me it's because he liked me too much? By that logic Braden must love me so, so, very much.”

“What's your theory then?”

“That I'm repulsive. And that you're right, from now on I need to do everything the opposite.”