Chapter Thirteen
Brooke
Things were getting back to normal. Kind of. I still wasn't Talia's biggest fan, but that might've had something to do with the fact she had what I wanted. Each night when she walked into Dom's room instead of me, I died a little more inside. I wasn't about to admit I wanted him to leave her for me, but I so freaking did. Dom and I weren't spending every second together like we used to, but we were able to spend time in the same room without making everyone totally uncomfortable. I still wanted to climb him like a tree, but I did my best to pretend that wasn’t the case.
If anything, we were almost too polite now. Dom went out of his way to make sure he didn't offend me, and I was still unsure of what to say so I didn't accidentally remind him I was the one who screwed everything up between us in the first place. Our friendship was either going to go up in flames, or we were going to learn to navigate this new weird place we were in--one where I wasn’t sure it was okay to even touch him. I hoped for the latter but assumed it would probably end up being the former.
Quinn seemed to think Dom and I would be just fine, while I still had my doubts. We'd discussed it over a bottle of tequila on the beach one day while the guys were surfing. Caroline was hopeful, but she was afraid I might be impulsive and try to push too hard too fast. Riley wasn't sure what to think of the whole situation. I think she felt guilty that I'd taken something Josh had said so personally. She loved my brother, but she knew what an idiot he could be at times. He was the type of person who pushed a joke too far sometimes.
I stared out at my current boyfriend. He’d caught a wave and was currently standing up on his board riding it in. Austin was sweet, but we weren’t cut out for anything long-term. I’d gotten what I wanted. The chase was the exciting part. I’d proven to myself and everyone around me that I could get the one guy who seemed to be out of my reach, and now I was bored. It was awful, but it was true. Austin had been a fun challenge, but once I conquered it, there wasn’t any excitement left. He wasn’t pushing me to sleep with him, and he seemed to truly be interested in me.
All qualities I should be incredibly grateful for.
I sighed and took another drink of water. Alcohol had lost all appeal at this point in our vacation. The guys still drank when we went out to the clubs, but I was over it, and we’d only been here for two weeks.
Caroline leaned over and nudged my shoulder. “Everything okay?”
I couldn’t look at her and give her straight answers, so I continued staring out into the water. “Yeah.”
She frowned. “You’ve been really quiet since you and Dom talked. Things are still weird between you two. I know it’s got to be messing with you.”
I glanced over to make sure Talia wasn’t paying attention to us. She was talking to Riley, probably planning another date night. I might just find myself physically ill so I didn’t have to go through that torture again. Although, I’d done a pretty good job of making sure I didn’t get another invite after the first time. “Things are…okay.”
“Then what’s going on in that head of yours?”
I took another drink from my bottle and played with the cap for a second. “He doesn’t know.”
Her eyebrows scrunched together. “Doesn’t know what?”
I stood up and motioned for her to follow me. She called out that we were taking a walk. When we were far enough away, I finally started talking.
“We didn’t discuss much that night, basically that I was sorry and that I didn’t mean things the way they sounded, and he apologized too. It was more of us just admitting we missed each other than anything else. We never talked about…how I feel…about him.”
She stopped and grabbed my arm. She glanced over her shoulder and lowered her voice. “You didn’t tell Dominic that you have feelings for him?”
I shook my head and bit down on my lip.
“Brooke, why not? You two are perfect for each other, and you both obviously want it. Why didn’t—”
“Except for the fact he’s with Talia.”
Her hand dropped. “I—”
“Forgot?”
She nodded sheepishly.
“I didn't.” I took a deep breath. “It's not fair for me to ask him to leave her just because I figured my shit out. He's happy, Care.” It stung. Dom was happy without me. “It's better this way. Now there aren't any expectations between us.”
"It can't be better this way. You two are supposed to be together."
I started walking again. "Maybe not."
She reached for me again, but I shrugged her off. "No. I'm not going to tell him anything. Dom deserves that after everything I put him through. I'm not going to make him choose between us. If things end between him and Talia, I'll say something. Until then, I need you to keep this to yourself." I stopped suddenly and looked back at where she stood in the sand behind me. “Promise me, Care.”
"Okay, I promise." She lowered her gaze for a second. "But I don't like it. I think you should tell him."
“Things are weird enough between us as it is. I’m not about to jeopardize our friendship now. What if his feelings changed?”
“Brooke, what if they haven’t? That man has been in love with you for the past three years. What makes you think his feelings would’ve changed in a month?”
“Things are different now. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells with him, especially if Talia is around. I don’t want to risk losing him as a friend if I tell him how I feel and he doesn’t feel the same. What if she finds out and doesn’t want him to be around me anymore?” My shoulders slumped. “There’s too much at risk.”
We resumed walking. I stared out at the ocean, ignoring the cat calls of other college guys as we went. Taking a stroll in our bikinis wasn’t the best idea, but I hated that we couldn’t, just because we were women. I flipped them off and kept walking.
“What about Austin?”
I winced. “What about him?”
She looked at me incredulously. “You’ve tried to date him for years. Now you just don’t care?”
“I don’t know. Dating Austin isn’t exactly what I thought it would be.”
We were quiet for a few paces. “I wish you were happy,” she said softly.
How did I even begin to answer that?
“It’s not that I’m not happy. I just don’t know what I want,” I finally admitted. “Dom has been such an important part of my life for so long, I’m terrified of losing him. He’s obviously not happy Austin and I are together.”
“I don’t think that will happen, B. You’re important to Dom too. Who knows…after all this, you two might end up even closer than you were before.”
I gave a humorless laugh. “Yeah, maybe.”
Even if we were talking about something I’d rather not, I loved being on the coast again. It reminded me of being back home in North Carolina. Josh had decided his senior year that he wanted to go to school in Austin, Texas, at UT for some reason. He never admitted why, but I had a feeling it had to do with a girl who wasn’t Riley. Either way, when it was my turn to graduate two years later I was desperate to get out of our small, gossipy hometown. I’d already got a taste of the travel bug when I went to a special cosmetology school in New York during my senior year, so I jumped on board quick when Josh begged me to come out here with him. I dragged Caroline with me, and even though we tried, we couldn’t convince our other best friend Hannah to come with us.
At least we knew she loved every second at SCU due to a certain someone. Chance made her happy, and it made Caroline and me feel better that she had made some amazing friends out there. Our spring break trip made it clear that she had something special going on. We hoped she’d be able to make it out here for a few days during the trip, but she’d opted to take a few summer classes instead. I couldn’t fault her for wanting to finish up early, though.
I tugged on Caroline’s arm and we sat down in the sand a few yards from where our friends were. I still wasn’t ready to go back. There was something else I wanted to get off my chest, but I didn’t want anyone to overhear me. I dug my fingers into the cool sand, trying to calm my nerves. Caroline was quiet while she waited. She knew me well enough to know I’d speak when I was ready. It took me a few minutes to build up my nerve to say what I needed to aloud. I leaned my head on her shoulder and looked out at the horizon.
“I made a mistake with Austin.”
She didn’t respond.
“I need to break up with him.”
“Is it because of Dom?”
“No, it’s because things just aren’t right. He’s not the one.”
She didn’t have the shell-shocked expression I expected.
“Okay.”
Thank goodness. There was no judgment. No unsolicited advice. Just my friend being supportive. Not that Caroline was the type to do any of that, but it was nice to finally get it off my chest.
“I still haven’t slept with him.”
“Really?”
That got her attention. I leaned up and shoved at her shoulder playfully. “Don’t sound so surprised. I don’t sleep with every guy I date.”
She laughed. “I never said that. I just thought because it was Austin, you would’ve—ya know. From the rumors around campus, it might be fun.”
I blushed. “We’ve messed around, but we haven’t done that. It’s like every time we get close, something happens that makes me think it’s a bad idea.”
She cocked her head to the side, and I rolled my eyes.
“Let’s see. I’ve been completely naked and Josh has knocked on the door. Twice. That was fun. We came into the apartment one night all hot and heavy and realized Jared and Drew were watching us from the couch. Kind of a mood killer and creepy as hell.”
She giggled.
“Then there was the no condom time, and I’m sure not going there. Should I keep going?”
“I think I’ve got the picture. So it’s not meant to be. You’ll both get over it.”
“I know, but I hate it. I don’t like ending relationships.”
She nudged my arm with her shoulder. “You’ll just be single like me. This will be our summer to be single together.”
I gave her a small smile back. “I just have to figure out how to do it.”
She wrapped her arm around my waist and I rested my head on her shoulder again. The second half of this vacation was about to get interesting. I just didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing.
***
I waved at Hannah through the screen and scooted over so Caroline could say hi too. Chance stood behind Hannah, looking amused at her high-pitched squeal as we all said hello. It had only been a few months since we’d all been together, but it seemed like so much longer. It was clear to anyone who looked at them, they were incredibly happy together. I hoped they’d make it work because they both deserved to find someone who loved them.
Josh stood behind us, waiting his turn to tell his other ‘adopted’ sister hello. The three of us had spent so much time together over the years, Josh had three sisters, not just one. He’d adapted well. There were times he’d threaten Hannah’s or Care’s boyfriends more than he threatened mine. None of us had ever had serious relationships in high school, but it was funny to watch Josh freak out and try to protect our innocence. Hannah’s eyes lit up when she saw him standing there. He hadn’t made the trip with us for spring break, so it had been even longer since she’d talked to him.
“I miss you guys so much!” Her eyes became misty. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t come out there. We wanted to, but between work and taking summer classes it didn’t fit.”
“It’s okay, but we miss you. We’re all planning on coming home for Christmas. Are you going to be at your mom and dad’s then?”
She glanced at Chance. “At some point. We’ll be going between the two this year. Josh, I want you to meet my boyfriend Chance. Chance, this is my big annoying brother, Josh.”
“Really, Hannah?” Josh said, mock annoyance in his voice. It was nice to see them play fighting since they hadn’t been able to for so long. He exchanged a few words with Chase, and from experience, I could tell Josh was sizing him up.
I poked him in the ribs. “Be nice, asshole.”
We caught up with Hannah and asked about her friends Nate and Olivia and Finn and Cora. If we couldn’t be on the East Coast with her, I was glad she had so many amazing people surrounding her. It hadn’t taken long for them to take her into their fold and help her find her way at SCU. Even during our trip, they’d made us feel welcomed.
Quinn and Riley made their way into Caroline’s bedroom where we were camped out and said hello. Eventually we’d make it happen that they all got to meet in person. Over the tiny phone screen sucked.
Hannah finally disconnected when she had to leave for class. We promised to call again soon and let her go. It was a melancholy feeling when we had to disconnect those calls, but I knew she was in good hands with Chance and all her other friends. Caroline had the same somber expression I did. We missed our friend.
“Call Callie now?” I asked.
Caroline snorted a laugh. “Sure, why not?”
We called Riley and Quinn back into the room so they could talk with our other friend too. Quinn and Callie had been roommates our freshman year of college, and she’d become one of our group quickly. We’d begged her to come along to the beach with us, but she’d begged off since she needed to work and save money. She was trying to get into an exchange student program through the school, and if she got selected it would be a lot of money up-front for her plane tickets and student housing.
Callie picked up on the first ring and grinned when she saw the four of us on the other side of her screen. Her wide smile was contagious.
“What are you guys doing?”
“We’re missing you,” I said. “How are things back home?”
“Boring with everyone gone for the summer. How’s the beach? How many hot guys have you spotted? Tell me everything.”
Caroline laughed. “Considering Quinn and I are the only single ones here, the pickings are pretty good, but I haven’t noticed anyone worth my time. What about you, Quinn?”
Her grin was contagious. “Not yet. There’s still time, though.”
“I wish I’d come with you guys,” she said wistfully. “I found out I didn’t get the spot abroad. There’s a waitlist and I’m first up, but hardly anyone skips out.”
“You could still come.” I looked at her through the laptop, hoping she would agree.
“No chance. I’m working a ton, which is nice for my wallet, but it stinks to miss out on the fun. Speaking of, I should probably go. I have to be at work in about twenty minutes.”
We all said our goodbyes and hung up. Caroline and I were back to our melancholy moods, and now Riley and Quinn were right there with us.
“Beach?” I asked.
Caroline smiled. At least we had the sun and surf to help fix things for now.