Sierra
“I guess you know by now I’m planning on taking you up on your offer to stay here with you,” I told Gunner in bed on the morning after our second night together. We lay in bed with our naked bodies pressed against each other. His arm was around my waist and I had my fingers intertwined with his on my stomach. His arms and hands were so large compared to mine. I really liked the way it felt to have my hand on top of his.
“Good,” he said smoothly in my ear. “For how long?”
“As long as you’ll have me,” I told him.
“That could be for a while,” he teased. “Are you sure you’re ready for that?”
“You’ll run me off eventually,” I answered him, and I knew he would. Once I completed my job, I would find a way to either run off before he noticed or get him to run me off before he could realize it had been me.
He sighed. “We’ll see.”
I knew he didn’t believe me. He didn’t have any reason to. He didn’t know who I really was, and so far things had been pretty good between us, so there was no reason to pretend we could see the future. Besides, it was one of those silly things people always said at the beginning of every relationship. It was the same argument every time. Except I wasn’t saying it out of low self-esteem or because I was trying to get more attention from him. I was saying it because I knew it to be true. This thing we were doing had an expiration date on it.
“Well, if you’re going to stay, we’re going to need to set up some rules,” he said, and he slid his hand down between my legs, stopping as his fingers slid down over my slit.
“What kind of rules?” I asked.
“Sexual rules. You’re going to need to know how to behave if you’re going to stay with me,” he said with his lips just over my neck. He kissed me as his fingers slid along my lips.
“Is that so?” I asked. I grabbed his hand and pulled it back up to my stomach. I was going to need to know more about these rules before I let anything go on this morning.
“Well, first, if you’re going to stay, you have to agree that your body belongs to me,” he said. Then he kissed my bare shoulder.
“What does that mean?” I asked playfully.
“It means that you agree I can have you any time I want you, and any way I want you,” he explained.
“What if I don’t want it the way you do?” I figured that was the logical question that needed to be asked next.
“Well, that’s the second rule. If you don’t want to consent to behavior, or if you’re unsure, we have safe words,” he answered in a patient tone.
“Safe words,” I repeated. My blood turned to ice. He was serious.
“Yep, and I believe in keeping them simple. So, if everything’s good, it’s green. I don’t expect to actually use that one, but I might ask you if everything is green or whatever to make sure we’re good. If we need to slow down, or if you’re unsure, use yellow. It’s not a definite no, but it means we’re being careful. And if it’s a no, that’s red. You tell me red, we stop what we’re doing,” he explained to me.
“Green, yellow, and red, huh?” I laughed. He was actually serious about it. What had I gotten myself into?
“What do you think?” I felt his weight shift behind me as he sat up to check on me.
“I think I’m going to be using safe words,” I told him, taking a deep, shaky breath. I couldn’t deny that all of this was something new to me, and it was making me nervous to agree to it all. “Is there a third rule?”
He was quiet for a moment, and I started to think he was trying to come up with the third rule.
“You can’t make it up right now.” I laughed.
“No, I’m not making it up. I’m trying to decide if I really want to tell you what it is,” he said cautiously.
“Well, how am I supposed to obey the rule if I don’t know it, Gunner?” I teased.
“Okay. The third rule is that as long as we’re doing this, it’s just us,” he said.
“Of course it is.” I gave his hand a squeeze. “I’m not that kind of girl,” I told him. It struck me as a little odd that he would make that one of his rules.
“What I mean to say is that as long as we’re doing this, you are mine and mine alone. Out of respect for you, I will not bring anyone else into this situation without getting the literal green light from you. Also, if you want to try anything we’ve done with someone else, I want you to talk to me first. But, if we are expecting this to only last for so long, then I don’t expect either of those situations to happen.”
“Great. Me either,” I told him. What bothered me was that he sounded troubled by his third rule. Were there other rules beyond that?
“Good. Now that we agree, it’s time to get up. If we don’t get up now, we’re never getting out of bed today,” he said suddenly. He kissed me and pulled his hand away as he slid out of bed.
His motions felt sudden as well, and I couldn’t figure out what was going on. I felt like things were already starting to get more complicated than they needed to be, and that was fine, as long as I knew what was going on and could keep my eye on the prize. In fact, if it got more complicated for him, it would be more likely that he wouldn’t see what I was up to.
But it wasn’t getting complicated just for him.