"Bertrand," Hagen said, hugging his friend. "Thanks so much for meeting with me again on such short notice. I appreciate it."

Bertrand gave him an appraising look. "It's not like I need persuasion to see you, Hagen. You know I'm always happy to meet with you."

Hagen did know, and still he’d felt somewhat guilty for asking Bertrand to dinner. Even more because Baxter was home by himself, under strict orders to eat the dinner Hagen had put out for him, do his homework, and get some rest. Hagen knew they couldn't spend every minute together, and yet it bothered him to leave Baxter by himself. His urge to take care of him was not lessening after three days, and that's why he wanted to talk to Bertrand.

He waited to bring up the topic until they had both ordered in the Greek restaurant they had picked this time. "So," he said, mentally bracing himself for what would undoubtedly be a barrage of questions. "I'm seeing someone."

If Bertrand had raised his eyebrows any higher, they would've disappeared in his receding silver hairline. "That's not what I was expecting you to say. How did that happen between the last time we saw each other and now?" Then his eyes narrowed. "Oh Hagen, don't tell me you're seeing that student."

Hagen’s eyes met his. "I am, but not in the way you think."

"Are you sleeping with him?"

"Sleeping, yes. Literally. We haven't had penetrative sex yet, if that's what you were referring to."

"Then so far, it's exactly what I think, though I'll admit I'm surprised you haven't taken things further yet. He's not a virgin, is he?"

It was weird, this level of casualness he'd always had with Bertrand about sex. Bertrand was old enough to be his father and Jake had been his grandson, and yet he and Hagen had always been open when it came to sex. Bertrand had been active in the BDSM scene himself for many years without any of his family members ever knowing, and he'd been the one to introduce Jake to the club. They'd made a deal they wouldn't attend at the same time, since neither of them had a desire to see the other sexually active, but for as long as Hagen and Jake had been together, both had been members in the club.

Hell, Hagen had asked him for advice on multiple occasions when he was struggling with something with Jake or wanted to try out something new. Bertrand had always excelled at separating the personal from the friendship, or in this case his role as Jake's grandfather from his role as Hagen's friend. That's why Hagen had no issues answering this rather direct and personal question.

"No, he's not. But I find myself wanting a different type of relationship with him, different from what I had with CJ and Jake."

Bertrand looked intrigued now, folding his hands and leaning forward as he rested them on the table. "Different how?" he asked.

But Hagen didn't want to say it just yet. He had another question to ask first, one that might confirm this direction without him mentioning it first to Bertrand. "When we met last time, you alluded to issues between me and Jake. Issues I had not been aware of. Issues that were the main reason why we broke up, or why he left me, however you want to put it. What were you referring to?"

Bertrand sent him a soft smile. "Do you realize this is the first time you've asked me that question?"

Hagen frowned. Surely that couldn't be right. He knew he had talked to Bertrand a lot after Jake had left him. There was no way this topic hadn't come up. "That can't be. We've talked a lot about what happened."

Bertrand gently shook his head. "No, you talked a lot about what happened, and while you asked me some questions, you never asked me that one. Think back, Hagen. You never asked me why I thought you and Jake had broken up, why I thought Jake had decided to leave you."

Hagen tried to go over the conversations in his mind that he and Bertrand had had about Jake, and while he could picture the two of them talking on many occasions, Bertrand was right. Hagen couldn't remember a single time he had asked that particular question. In fact, now that he thought about it, Bertrand had never offered a theory on the cause of their breakup. He had listened to Hagen, had commented on some of what Hagen had said, offered some details. But he had never shared his thoughts and Hagen had never asked.

"I can't believe I never asked," Hagen said. "I'm usually all for analyzing."

The look Bertrand gave him was kind. "I don't think you were ready yet," he said. "It came as a shock to you, and I think you needed time to create emotional distance before you were ready to analyze what had gone wrong."

"Well," Hagen said, "whatever the reason, I'm asking now. Why do you think things didn't work out between me and Jake?"

"What do you know about David, Jake's new partner?" Bertrand asked.

Hagen shrugged. "Not much. I know he's younger than me, so I wondered if I was too old for Jake after all. And he's a cop, right? You said he was a good guy?"

"He is," Bertrand assured him. "Jake chose well. Or I should say, David chose him. They’re a good fit, much better than you and him ever were. David has him on a tight leash, though. As much as Jake complains about it, he loves it."

"A tight leash?" Hagen asked, not really surprised. Jake had been a bit of a brat sometimes, asking Hagen to be much stricter than he’d been comfortable with. Still, Bertrand’s statement implied more.

"Hagen, David and Jake have a twenty-four seven D/s dynamic that’s developing toward a TPE."

Hagen's mouth dropped open a little. "A total power exchange? Since when is Jake into that?"

And then it hit him. Jake's repeated requests for more discipline from Hagen, his desire for Hagen to be stricter with him, to demand more. It had been a repeated conversation between them, Hagen communicating that that was not the type of Dom he was and Jake pushing his buttons to make him punish him. The signals had been there that Jake wanted more control, more dominance from Hagen, he had just missed them.

"I never realized," he said, his mind reeling with that revelation. "He never outright told me, just kept hinting he wanted me to be stricter, but I kept telling him that's not who I am."

Bertrand's hand covered his, and he gave him an affectionate squeeze. "No, Hagen, it's not. And don't ever blame yourself for that. Jake needed something you couldn't give him, and I’m happy to see he's found that with David. He's a good guy, and he takes really good care of him. You could’ve never provided that for him."

Sadness filled Hagen that it had taken him this long to figure it out. "I wish he would've told me," he said. "Not that it would've made a difference in our relationship ending, as I could've never been that Dom for him, but we could have ended as friends. I would've understood if he had told me."

Bertrand let go of his hand after a last squeeze. "I know, Hagen. And trust me, I reamed him out for that, and so has David. David didn't know until recently, by the way. I thought you should know that. He'd thought you had ended things amicably, and when he found out otherwise, let's say he wasn't happy."

Hagen smiled despite himself. "I bet Jake regretted hiding that from his Dom."

Bertrand winced. "Yeah, David called me and explained what happened, just to make sure I knew it was within the boundaries of their relationship and contract. But I don't think Jake will pull any stunt like that ever again, not with David anyway."

"I blame myself for not noticing," Hagen said, sadness filling him all over again. "Some kind of Dom I am if I missed that."

"I understand, but Hagen, remember that you can't read minds. It was Jake's responsibility to tell you, and he didn't. Sure, maybe you could've been more attentive toward his signals, but he should have spoken up and said something. But he knew you loved him, and he didn't want to hurt you. It's ironic that he ended up hurting you in the worst way because of that."

"Things do make a lot more sense now," Hagen said, his mind playing certain scenes between him and Jake. "The last six months or so we were together, he was so frustrated with me. I thought it was a phase, you know? But every time I tried to take care of him, he pushed me out. I'm only now realizing he was trying to get a rise out of me, was trying to provoke me into being the strict Dom he wanted and needed."

"Yeah, you'll have to forgive his stupidity in that reasoning. He didn’t have enough experience in lifestyle then to realize that you can't change who you are, whether you're a Dom or a sub or a switch."

Hagen let that statement roll around in his head, examining it mentally. If that was true, if your identity—as a Dom, in his case—was set, what did that mean for him? Had he always been a Daddy Dom and never realized it?

"I’m Baxter's Daddy," he said suddenly.

Bertrand didn't react with anything else but a smile. "I'm glad to hear that."

"You're not surprised."

"No. I was wondering if that was the direction you would go in, but then you were so adamant about not taking on another boy, and I decided I had been wrong. Maybe your nurturing instinct wasn't as strong as I had observed."

"I love taking care of him," Hagen confessed. "I'm still his Dom, but the focus has shifted. It's not about him serving me and bringing me pleasure. It's about me taking care of him. There's still a focus on my pleasure, but it's different. It brings me such deep joy to know he's happy. Does that make sense?"

Bertrand nodded, his smile broadening. "Makes total sense. How is he taking to it?"

Hagen's face lit up as he thought of Baxter. Just the thought of his boy made him so happy that it was hard to explain. "He has no experience, so we're taking it slow, but he seems to love it. He's had his first spanking, and…" He thought back of that moment in his study, the complete surrender Baxter had gifted him with. "It was magical."

"Your face lights up when you talk about him," Bertrand observed. "I've never seen you like this, Hagen. You're besotted with him."

It was such an old-fashioned word, and yet it captured perfectly what Hagen felt deep inside. He was infatuated with Baxter, besotted, head over heels crazy for his boy. "He's been hurt in the past and so have I. Both of us have wounds, and I think we’re both scared of the intensity of what we share. How do we navigate that, Bertrand? How do I make sure he's not going to get hurt again?"

"Talk to him," Bertrand said. "Every step of the way. Don't hide your feelings, don't mask them. Be honest, dare to be open and vulnerable with him."

Hagen's body tingled at the thought. "What if he doesn't feel the same way?"

"Then you know, and you can move on. Your question wasn't to prevent you from getting hurt. You asked how to prevent him getting hurt. If you put him first, Hagen, he'll be able to walk away, even if things don't work out between the two of you."

"And the fact that he's new to the lifestyle? How slow do I take it?"

"Don't let the experience with Jake shake your confidence as a Dom. You can read him. Follow your instincts and keep that line of communication open. Other than that, experiment. If he's new, he won't have exposure to a lot of different things you have tried over the years, things you love. So play with him. Try to see what he likes and dislikes. Find things that set the both of you on fire. But above all, be yourself, Hagen. You're a wonderful man, and you deserve a wonderful boy."