"I've never been a Daddy to anyone before," Hagen admitted.

"You haven't?" Baxter asked, his voice stuffed with surprise. That was not what he had been expecting. At all.

Hagen shook his head. "No. I think the kind of Dom I was came close, but this is new for me as well. So when you ask me how the sex between us will look, the honest answer is that I'm not sure yet."

"But I guess it's a safe bet to say you will be in charge," Baxter said.

Hagen grinned. "That's a given, yes. I assume you won't object to that? Can you share a little about your sexual experiences so far?"

Geez, how did one answer a question like that? "No objections, far from it. My body seems to like it when you're in charge," he started with the easiest question. "As for my sexual experiences, that's a broad question. I'm not sure what you want to know?"

Hagen held up a hand. "Let me be clear. I'm not asking about the number of partners or anything. No judgment whatsoever. I'm curious if there are things you tried that you didn't like, or things you found that brought you a lot of pleasure."

Oh, okay. He could do that, Baxter thought. "Well, Robert and I were together for a few years, and our sex life was healthy, I think. Not so much toward the end, when he was studying for the bar, but I thought that was normal. But I wouldn't say we experimented much. It was the standard stuff, I'd say. You know, blow jobs, anal, and hand jobs, nothing too imaginative, but it got us off."

He wasn't sure why it made him sad, the way he had just described their sex life. He hadn't realized it at the time, how simple it had been. Was that wrong? Were they supposed to have experimented and tried out new stuff? It hadn't even occurred to him, and Robert had never brought it up either.

"Do you prefer to bottom or are you a switch?" Hagen asked.

Baxter shouldn't blush, not after everything they had done already, not after Hagen had seen him naked, but he felt the heat creep up his cheeks. "What makes you assume I'm not a top?" he asked, trying to keep a little attitude.

Hagen's grin was instant. "Because of the delicious way you spread your legs when I had my hand on your ass. You can't tell me you weren't thinking of my cock inside you."

The man had called his bluff, and Baxter couldn't do much else but concede. "With Robert, I always switched, but I prefer bottoming. I don't mind topping, but it doesn't bring me the same pleasure."

Judging by the calculated look in Hagen's eyes, sharing that bit of information may cost him, but Baxter didn't care. Hagen was right that honesty was important here, especially if they were both entering uncharted territory.

"Are there questions you want to ask me?" Hagen asked. "Oh wait, you asked about the sex between us. Let me say that we’ll be doing a lot of experimenting to see what works for us. How does that sound? And let's keep using the yellow and red safewords, just to be clear. If I do anything that is too fast for you, or you need a moment to think, don't ever hesitate to call a yellow. And if you want me to stop, all you have to do is say red."

Things were getting real, Baxter realized. When Hagen started talking about safewords, it was a stark reminder that the sex he had planned for them would be anything but vanilla. Baxter thought about it, tried to conjure scenarios up in his mind, and the funny thing was that he had no trouble doing so. But in each and every snapshot his brain produced, Hagen was in charge and Baxter was happy. He guessed that said enough.

"Will you tell me what we’ll be experimenting with?" he asked.

"Not always. Sometimes, you'll need to know to give consent. Other times, I'll ask you to trust me so I can see your reactions without you knowing what's gonna happen. But in any scenario, your right to safeword stands."

"I need time to think about this," Baxter said, not wanting to make a rash decision on something so big and potentially life-changing.

"Absolutely. In fact, I insist you don't decide right now but sleep on it. For now, why don't I make us something to eat while you take time to relax?"

Relax? Baxter hadn't had as much time off in months as he’d had today, watching a movie and taking a nap and all that. "I have a whole pile of homework to do," he said.

"Tomorrow," Hagen said, his voice taking on that definitive ring. "Today, you'll relax and take time to recover. Tomorrow, no matter what your decision is, I will help you study. How's that sound?"

Getting help from Professor St. Croix? Baxter's face broke open in a big smile. He was so not gonna say no to that. "You're on."

Hagen disappeared into the kitchen, and Baxter sat on the couch for a bit. It was uncanny, the way his head was quieting down right now. It had been so busy the last months, so full and demanding, and it was like a plug had been yanked out of it, letting all the busy thoughts disappear down the drain.

Not that he didn't have a lot to think about, what with Hagen's proposal and all. Though if he had to be honest, he couldn't think of a lot of valid reasons to turn it down. Sure, there was the risk of being discovered, with him being a student and Hagen his professor, but the consequences would fall mostly on Hagen's side. Baxter wasn't naïve enough to think he wouldn't get painted with a certain brush if news leaked, but he was twenty-seven, not exactly under age or innocent.

The only other argument was his pride. Allowing Hagen to take care of him like that, even if it was only for two weeks, required him to swallow down his pride. But how much pride had he left after Hagen had found out the dire truth already? The man had seen his trailer, knew he had hit rock bottom. Was he going to turn him down out of some stupid proud refusal to acknowledge he needed help?

Well, there was one more argument, and it was one he dreaded to look too closely at. Hagen's proposal would result in a dangerous mix of professional and personal. Initially, it had been professional only, even if they knew each other. Hagen had hired him to do a job, and Baxter had been determined to do it to the best of his capabilities. But now they were talking about something else entirely.

This was not a job anymore. No matter if Hagen paid him, this was personal. This was the two of them trying to figure out if the chemistry that ran so hot between them was more than just sparks and flames. This was the two of them finding out if they had any shot at a real relationship. A relationship based on a Daddy-boy dynamic Baxter had zero experience with.

What if he didn't like it but fell in love with Hagen anyway? It wasn't that unthinkable, considering how strong his feelings were for the man already. They were much deeper than pure physical attraction, though Baxter couldn't even try to put into words what Hagen's presence did to him on a physical level. But would their relationship have any chance if Baxter didn't like the Daddy part? Or if he liked it but Hagen didn't? What if Hagen decided he wanted to be a regular Dom after all, the kind he had been?

Baxter realized all too well that the biggest arguments against saying yes to this proposal had nothing to do with legal implications or even with money. The biggest risk he was taking was with his emotions, his heart. And as dramatic as it might sound, he knew he was still fragile and vulnerable after what had happened with Robert. He wasn't sure if he’d call it a broken heart. Maybe more like a bruised one, but that wasn’t the point. It had hurt, and it still did, every time he thought of it. What if the same thing happened with Hagen?

Tired of the way his own mind latched on to that, he got up from the couch and started walking around. Hagen had books everywhere in his house, and Baxter loved it. He'd already discovered that Hagen had them neatly separated by genre, with most of the fiction in the living room. The man was a voracious reader, that much was clear. There were bookcases filled with legal thrillers, crime novels, and cozy mysteries, but Hagen also liked literary novels and unsurprisingly, historical fiction.

Baxter wandered into the kitchen, where Hagen was busy making sandwiches. "Can I look at the books in your study?" Baxter asked.

Hagen shot him a quick smile. "You can look at anything, my boy. Please, make yourself at home. I have no secrets from you."

Huh, how about that? Baxter thought about it as he made his way to Hagen's study. Free access to his house? That was quite a show of trust.

Hagen's study was filled to the brim with nonfiction—most of them history books. These, too, were organized in sections that made joy spring up in Baxter's heart. He saw so many books he hadn't read yet, so many books he'd never even come across, not even in the Book Alcove. God, what he would give for the opportunity to read those. For the time to read those.

"Dinner is ready," Hagen said. "It's a simple fried egg sandwich, but I hope you'll like it. I made kale salad on the side."

Baxter turned around with a smile. "You're a bit of health nut, aren't you?"

"I have to be. I'm forty-three, Baxter, and I'm starting to feel it. I just want to take care of my body the best way I can."

Baxter took a few steps until they were close to each other. "Forty-three, huh?"

He had planned to make a joke about it, but something in Hagen's eyes kept him from doing so. He was insecure about it, Baxter realized. Maybe it was the sixteen years that divided them. Maybe it was his age in general, starting to feel like he was getting old. Either way, it was not something Baxter should tease him about.

"Well, I for one am grateful, because you're sexy as fuck," he said.

Hagen reached for him, cupping Baxter's cheek with his right hand in a tender gesture. "I worry about it," he said softly, confirming Baxter's suspicions. "I worry if I'm too old for you."

This was not something to dismiss flippantly. "I can understand, but your age is not a factor for me."

"It may sound strange, but that's part of my worry. Me, I've always been attracted to younger men. But you, you haven't been in a relationship with an older man before, so I worry that you won't know what you're getting into."

Baxter thought back to high school, resulting in some wonderful memories that played through his head. "I wouldn't put it like that, exactly," he said.

Hagen's eyebrows raised. "Care to explain yourself?"

"My senior year of high school, just after I had turned eighteen, my soccer team got a new coach. He was mid-thirties, I want to say, but I never asked. He and I didn't do a lot of talking, if you catch my drift."

The book on Hagen's face was priceless, before he cleared his throat. "How did it end?"

"Oh, he was British, on some kind of exchange program. He was just here for a few months. But they were fun months, let me tell you."

The hand on Baxter's cheek traveled to his neck and became a strong grip that pulled him close until they were pressed together. "Define fun," Hagen ordered him, but there was a sparkle in his eyes.

"I was quite limber and he liked to fuck hard. Plus, he had a great dick. Not very long, but boy, that thing was thick. Every time he filled me up, I thought he'd break me, but it would've been worth it and the very best way to go."

Hagen's eyes darkened in a way Baxter recognized by now, and he wasn't surprised when the grip on his neck intensified in strength. "You know when I asked you about sexual experiences that brought you pleasure?"

"Yes, Daddy?" Baxter couldn't help but say, watching with satisfaction as those eyes clouded over even more.

"These are the kind of details you really want to tell me."

"You want to hear details of how other men have fucked me?" Baxter asked, and he was only half teasing.

"Yes. For two reasons. The first is that we both know it's in the past, and it's not like it's ever going to happen again. Not as long as we're together, because I don't share. And second, anything that helps me take the best care of you is something I need to know, especially if it's information that will help me drive you crazy with pleasure."

Baxter's lips were suddenly very dry, and he licked them, drawing Hagen's eyes to his mouth. "You're saying you want to bring me sexual pleasure?"

Hagen's smile was feral. "Boy, I am going to drive you so mad with want that you’ll beg me to come. And I will say no again and again, until all you can think about is orgasming. When you've reached that stage, where you will do anything to come, maybe, just maybe, if I'm in a good mood, I will let you."