When Baxter woke up, he noticed two things. One, he was more comfortable than he had been in a long time, lying in a warm, soft bed, enveloped by fresh-smelling linens. The second was that Hagen had kept his promise. As soon as Baxter opened his eyes, he met Hagen’s, who looked at him with a tender expression on his face. He was wearing reading glasses, and Baxter smiled at how adorably cute they made him look. Smart too, not that he needed any help with that.

"Hi," he said, turning on his side so he could face him.

"Hi," Hagen said back. "You slept for four hours. How do you feel?"

Baxter said the first thing that came to mind. "Hungry."

Something flashed over Hagen's face. "Let's get you something to eat then."

Baxter's smile widened. "Let me guess, no eating in bed?"

"You're getting the hang of it," Hagen teased him. "What would you like to eat?"

Baxter's pride battled with his common sense, but in the end, he decided for honesty. "I could use proteins and vitamins," he said. "The food at the gas station is not exactly healthy, so I've been living on a ton of sugar and empty calories."

"Well, my fresh meals were delivered yesterday, and one of them is poached fish, would you like to try that one? It's got steamed green beans, I think, with brown rice and a creamy coconut sauce."

"That sounds like heaven," Baxter said, and he wasn't even kidding.

Hagen put his book down and took off his reading glasses. "Why don't I get that started while you get dressed and I'll see you downstairs."

After Hagen had left the room, Baxter took a minute or two, three, to enjoy the sensation of that glorious, luxurious bed. He’d never slept in a bed that soft, that comfortable. God, what it would be like to have enough money to buy something like that? When he and Robert had been together, they hadn't been poor, not even close, but it hadn't been luxury either. Law school wasn't cheap, and every penny Baxter had made had gone toward Robert's tuition.

He slowly got dressed, his body strangely weak, even for what he was used to. Had he really overdone it lately? He thought he'd gotten used to living on low-nutrient food, but maybe he'd been overestimating how much his body could take.

The hoodie still smelled like Hagen, and Baxter breathed in deeply as he pulled it over his head. God, the man smelled so good, a mix of that expensive cologne he wore with some kind of body wash or deodorant or something. Baxter wasn't sure what it was, but the combination was intoxicating.

The whole man was intoxicating, and even in his current somewhat fragile state, Baxter wasn't immune to it. He didn't understand what had happened between them, how Hagen had changed from the Dom who wanted to hire him to play his boy to…to whatever the hell it was he was doing now. It felt like friendship, except more, deeper, and much more intimate. Baxter lacked the words to define it, but all he knew was that he craved it.

He made his way downstairs, and on the stairs, the most delicious smell wafted in from the kitchen. Hagen and his fresh meals, Baxter thought with a smile. It was such an incredible luxury, and yet so handy right now. They were good calories, healthy calories, and Baxter's mouth watered at the thought of eating real food. The last time he'd had a decent meal was when he'd gone out for dinner with that Mitch guy. That bistro had been phenomenal, and Baxter could only dream of eating there again some time. Maybe with Hagen, he thought, and the mental picture of the two of them cozied up over a romantic meal made his hearts do funny flip-flops.

Hagen handed him a glass of water. "Drink up," he said. "Let's make sure you're not also dehydrated."

Baxter obediently downed it, then put it on the kitchen counter. It was so easy to do what Hagen told him. Frighteningly easy, actually.

"Good boy," Hagen said, and there was that expression again.

"Why do you keep saying that?" Baxter asked,

Hagen turned toward him, keeping one eye on the stove where he was cooking Baxter's meal. "Do you object to it?"

Baxter shook his head.

"Do you like it?" was the next question.

He should have known Hagen wouldn't let it go that easily. He never did. In class, he was known for asking follow-up questions if your answer was too glib, or too easy, or plain lazy. He was never satisfied with a quick answer, always wanted to dig until he got to the bottom. So what did he do now? Was there any harm in admitting the truth? If there was, he couldn't see it.

"I do," he said.

"How does it make you feel?" Hagen asked.

"Confused," Baxter admitted. "Because I like it, but I can't figure out why such a simple thing does so much to me."

The smile Hagen sent him was blinding. "We’ll figure it out together," he answered.

They ate together at the dining table, Baxter forcing himself to eat slowly, even though he wanted nothing more than to devour that meal. Hagen was snacking on an apple and some almonds, seemingly content to watch Baxter eat.

"This is so good," Baxter said.

"Don't speak with your mouth full," Hagen told him, those eyebrows narrowing in what Baxter now called his stern expression.

He looked like a hot principal when he did that, and for some weird reason, Baxter wanted nothing more than to obey him. Or maybe not, because he also looked like a principal who would be strict, who would punish him for being bad. And then Baxter thought of what he had discovered in his research about punishment, and he almost choked on his food, coughing until he was red in his face.

"And that's why you shouldn't speak with your mouth full," Hagen said smugly.

"It wasn't that," Baxter defended himself, though he waited until he'd swallowed his food. "I was thinking of something."

Hagen raised one eyebrow. "You thought of something that was so distracting it almost made you choke? I'd love to hear where your mind wandered off to then."

Yeah, he'd walked straight into that one, hadn't he? What the hell did he say now? Feeling bold, he opted for the truth. "I was picturing you as a stern principal who would spank me if I was bad."

He wasn't sure how he expected Hagen to react, but him breaking out in a wild cough as he spit out a chunk of apple wasn't it. "I see you have the same reaction to it," he said, unable to keep the glee out of his voice.

"You can't tell me things like that when I'm eating," Hagen protested when he'd stopped coughing and spluttering. "As a matter of fact, you shouldn't think about things like that while you're eating. You could kill someone, you know?"

"When should I think about it then?" Baxter asked, surprised to hear the flirtiness in his own tone.

"Finish your damn meal and we can talk about it all you want," Hagen said, his voice taking on a dark, deep edge that had Baxter shivering with anticipation.

The energy between them had changed, Hagen felt. He wasn't sure what had caused it. Maybe it was the proximity or the fact that he'd seen Baxter naked, or sharing a bed, or any and all of the above. But whatever it was, there was a flirty tone between them that hadn't been there before, and Hagen loved it.

Baxter had finished his meal, followed by dessert consisting of the flavored Greek yogurt Hagen allowed himself to eat every other day. He was pretty strict about trying to eat healthy, too scared to let himself go, as he definitely had the genetics for an old man's belly, as his dad called it. And the man had one, though Hagen loved him to pieces.

They had moved into the living room, where Hagen had needed little persuasion to let Baxter install himself on the couch, a thick blanket covering him. Despite that, Hagen had turned up the heat by two degrees, wanting to make sure Baxter was comfortable.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" he asked Baxter.

"I thought you wanted to talk," Baxter said.

"I do, but I'm thinking it may be better to wait a little before we have a heavy conversation. It's been an emotionally intense day for you, so I was thinking that maybe a little distraction would be better right now. But if you prefer, we can talk."

Baxter canted his head as he studied him. "If you think it's better to wait, we’ll wait. I'm happy to do it your way."

Was there anything Baxter could have said that could have been more perfect? Hagen doubted it, as a deep joy spread around his heart like a vine, reaching deep inside him. "What kind of movies do you like? Or do you even like movies? We can also watch something else."

He suddenly got self-conscious and hesitant over whether watching a movie was too boring for Baxter. Hagen loved movies, especially historical ones and dramas, but what if Baxter hated them? Jake had never been much of a fan, preferring the slapstick comedies Hagen could barely stand to watch. But he would watch them if that was what Baxter wanted. He didn't want to be seen as boring. Again.

"I love movies, but I haven't seen one in maybe a year," Baxter said, and Hagen's insides flooded with compassion all over again. "I've just been too busy with work and school. But I'd love to watch one."

Hagen nodded, happy they had something in common. He switched on his TV, switched it to the right mode, and handed Baxter the remote. "Just pick one you like," he said, pointing at the screen.

"You have Apple TV?" Baxter said. "I'm so jealous."

Hagen watched him as he flicked quickly through the movies before settling on one Hagen absolutely loved. It was an Italian movie with English subtitles, an older one from the nineties, not something most people would pick, and it took place in the Second World War—of course. La Vita e Bella had won some Oscars, Hagen seemed to remember, and rightfully so as it was an absolute masterpiece.

"Great choice," he told Baxter. "It is rather sad though. I hope you don't mind?"

"That's okay," Baxter said with a soft smile. "I figured it wouldn't have a happy ending, but I heard a lot of good things about it, so I'd love to see it."

Hagen quickly grabbed more drinks and snacks from the kitchen—the snacks were for Baxter, obviously—and then sat down and started the movie. He would've loved to sit closer to Baxter, but with him spread out on the couch, that was rather impossible, so he would have to be content to watch him every now and then.

It only took minutes before Baxter was completely engrossed in the movie, and Hagen divided his attention between the TV and the emotions that played over Baxter's face. He was so beautiful, even with his pale skin and sunken eyes. There was something playful about him, something smart and sassy, but sweet at the same time.

Hagen laughed on the inside as his brain tried to come up with words to describe what attracted him to Baxter. It was useless. The whole package drew him in like he'd never experienced before. CJ had been cute and Jake had been sexy as hell with a slender, twinkish body, but Baxter, he was a whole new category. He was older than Hagen had expected himself to fall for, and yet so much younger than he was. It worried him, the age difference. Not for himself, as he'd known for a long time he was attracted to younger men, but for Baxter. Would the sixteen years or so between them be a problem for him?

He startled when the TV paused.

"You're supposed to watch the movie, not me," Baxter said with a smile. "You've been looking at me for, like, the last two minutes or so."

Hagen felt himself get flustered, a very unusual reaction for him. "I'm sorry. I was lost in thought and didn't realize it."

"It's not like I mind," Baxter said.

"You don't?" Hagen asked rather stupidly.

"It wasn't like you were looking at me like you hated me," Baxter said with a teasing smile.

"I don't," Hagen assured him, then mentally slapped himself. Of course Hagen he didn't hate him. He had brought him here for fuck’s sake. What was wrong with his brain right now that he couldn't seem to form normal sentences? Baxter did something to him, that much was clear.

"I didn't think you did."

It hit Hagen that Baxter's part of the conversation was just as inane as his. Was the boy suffering from the same problem, that he couldn't put two intelligent sounding words in a row right now? He decided to take a little risk.

"I would really love to watch the movie with you on the couch, would that be okay with you?" he asked.

Baxter frowned. "I don't understand. I’m already on the couch." Then understanding dawned in his eyes. "Oh, okay. You want to… Right. Sure."

He seemed flustered, which explained his rather ineloquent agreement, but at least he seemed open to the idea. Hagen rose from his chair and walked over. "Scoot over a little so I can sit behind you," he instructed Baxter.

Much to his joy, Baxter obeyed immediately. Hagen eyed the blanket that was still draped over Baxter. If he was going to snuggle on the couch with him under that blanket while fully dressed, he would steam right out of his jeans.

"Would you object to me dressing a little lighter?" he asked, wanting to make sure it was okay with Baxter.

"You can strip naked as far as I'm concerned," Baxter said.

Well, that certainly cleared things up as far as consent went. Hagen stripped down to his boxers and a shirt, dropping his clothes to the floor in a way he hadn't done since he'd been a college student, but he couldn't be bothered to make the effort to drape them over a chair. He wanted to be close to Baxter. Now.

He installed himself on the couch, then maneuvered Baxter until he was positioned between his legs, with Hagen leaning against the arm rest. He wrapped his arms around him, pulling Baxter's head back until it rested against his chest. God, he fit there so perfectly. His sigh of contentment mingled with one of Baxter's.

"This good?" Hagen checked, just to make sure.

"Heaven," was the short answer. After a few seconds, Baxter, who apparently had hung onto the remote all that time, pressed play again. With Baxter in his arms, Hagen found it surprisingly easy to focus on the movie. It was like he had the assurance that Baxter was close, so he could focus on watching.

Near the end of the movie, when the story reached its heartbreaking climax, he felt Baxter shake a little. A quick check confirmed that he was crying, which didn't surprise Hagen, as he himself had wiped away a few tears as well the first time he'd seen the movie. So he simply held him a little closer, tightening his arms around him so Baxter knew he wasn't alone.

When the end credits started rolling, Baxter switched off the movie. "That was heartbreaking," he said, "but so freaking good. You know it's coming, and yet you can't help but hope it's not gonna end that way."

"I'm glad you liked it," Hagen said. "The movie caught some flak for not having a happy ending."

Baxter leaned sideways to meet Hagen's eyes. "That's ridiculous. It takes place in a camp. There was no way that story could have ended well without it becoming completely unrealistic."

"I couldn't agree more, but not everyone felt that way. Then again, I dislike a lot of war movies for being too romanticized. War isn't pretty and shouldn't be glorified."

"Well said," Baxter replied. "James Ryan."

Hagen smiled at the nickname he had chosen on the app. "I can't believe you realized the meaning of it. It's such a common name."

Baxter turned his face forward again, snuggling against Hagen’s chest. "I didn’t until I knew it was you. I tried to Google James Ryan, but like you said, it was too common a name. But once I saw it was you, it clicked."

Hagen let out a soft sigh. "I never expected you to show up. Then again, I suppose that feeling was mutual."

Baxter was quiet for a few beats, then said, “You never explained to me why you needed that app. It's not criticism, but I just don't understand. It seems to me you would have no trouble finding a real date, or even a real boyfriend if you made the effort."

Hagen debated with himself for maybe two seconds, then decided to put his cards on the table. If he wanted this thing with Baxter to become more than pretend—and everything inside him was screaming at him it wanted Baxter—then he should tell him the truth.

"I've been in two serious relationships before, both with men significantly younger than me. But neither of those relationships ended well, and after my last relationship failed, I moved here from L.A. I also decided to stop looking for a partner, as my last boyfriend had made it abundantly clear I was…"

He had to swallow back his emotion before he could continue. After all this time, Jake's words still cut through him like a knife. "He said I was boring, too old for him, and I guess it has made me reluctant to try again."

There it was, the whole ugly truth. Hagen almost held his breath, waiting for Baxter to respond.

"Why did he think you boring?" Baxter asked, and there was genuine surprise and bafflement in his voice.

"Jake was in his early twenties and he was more into the club scene, I guess. Not dance clubs, the BDSM club where we met. I was happy to take him there once every two weeks or so, but he would've preferred hanging out there pretty much every night."

"You were his Dom," Baxter said, but Hagen heard no judgment.

"Yes. We met in my old club, The Basement. In the beginning, we hit it off well, as Jake indicated he was interested in older men, and he seemed to be my type. But as our relationship progressed and he moved in with me, I guess he got bored with me. He wanted more, but I didn’t know until it was too late.”

"How did he want more? In what sense?"

God, it hurt to think back on the letter Jake had left him, the one with the long list of shortcomings he’d found in Hagen. If only he had given Hagen a chance to fix things before walking out.

"He wanted someone willing to play more and try more. He liked to play the role of brat, but he complained I wasn't strict enough, wasn't punishing him enough."

"Did he tell you that?" Baxter asked, and Hagen could almost hear him think, trying to piece the puzzle together.

"No, not until I came home after I'd been gone on a business trip for two days and discovered he had moved out. He left me with a letter that explained why, but it came as a complete shock to me. Sure, in hindsight I could see there had been symptoms, but I had never expected him to leave me like that."

To his surprise, Baxter untangled himself from Hagen and turned around to sit on his knees, facing Hagen. "That was really shitty thing to do," he said, and Hagen could have kissed him for the flash of anger in his voice. "And that must've hurt you deeply."

"It did," Hagen freely admitted, a sense of relief filling to him that Baxter understood.

"Probably even more because of the dynamics in your relationship," Baxter said.

Hagen frowned, not following Baxter's reasoning. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you told me you were his Dom. I have zero experience with this, but my research told me that if you’re involved in a relationship and you lived together, that means it's usually a twenty-four seven situation. That means you were in charge and that he was supposed to serve you and follow your orders. That must have made it even more of a shock to discover he had gone behind your back in such a blatant way. Him moving out without you knowing it wasn't just hurtful to you as his partner. It was also disrespectful to you as his Dom."