I know it’s crazy, but I already miss Andy. Okay, fine. I miss Freddie and even little Colby just as much. I only had a few days at the apartment with them before I was called in to cover a tour for a colleague who came down with a severe case of food poisoning. The tour is in New York City, which is one of my favorite places, but I’m just not having any fun this time around. Usually when I’m traveling for work, I spend my days shuttling groups to monuments and landmarks from eight in the morning until eight at night. Then, after an hour or two of rest, I’m out at a club, looking for a quick hook up. It’s not a bad way to earn a living considering I don’t have to pay any expenses while I’m working, and I usually get a couple thousand in tips at the end of each ten to fifteen-day tour. In fact, just a few weeks ago, I would have said it was a dream job that I never wanted to quit.

But something has changed.

I’ve been in the city for four days now, and I haven’t had the urge to go clubbing once. I don’t know why I’m so distracted by thoughts of what’s happening back home, but I just can’t stop thinking about the omega my brother has taken on as his personal project.

Growing up, most of my friends were jocks, and almost all of them tested out as alpha or beta in adulthood. Other than my brother, I haven’t really spent much one on one time with omegas outside of one-night stands of backroom fucks. But in the short time I’ve spent with Freddie, all my views on omegas and omega rights have shifted.

The differences between us seem so much less defined, and I’m in awe over their unique ability to carry babies. Part of me wants to become an advocate for omega rights to make sure people like Freddie and Andy never have to go through what they did when they were turned out by their families.

It’s still hard for me to imagine what Freddie went through over the past five years. When he first told me about his parents selling him to the breeding farm because they didn’t want an omega mouth to feed, it pissed me the fuck off. I didn’t understand how any parent could do that to their child. Then again, I didn’t understand my own parents and their views on raising an omega. I always thought they were great parents who would do anything for us. But that changed when their own selfish interests got in the way.

Either way, I can’t focus on anything or anyone besides Freddie. The only time my dick gets hard is when I think about him laughing at something we said or smiling over his beautiful son…or looking at me. Thank god I’m not home very often because if I had to deal with his sexy smile or sexual innuendo on a daily basis, it’d kill me. I just don’t think I could handle his flirtatious comments or sexy winks without bending him over a table and claiming him as my own.

And there it goes again.

My third spontaneous boner of the evening has arrived and they’re getting more and more difficult to ignore. Since I need to take a shower anyway, I might as well take care of this need before it keeps me up all night. Standing up, I pull the hem of my shirt over my chest and toss it onto my closed suitcase. Then I drop my jeans and step into the bathroom, already stroking my hard cock. Thank god I didn’t bother with underwear this morning or else it would have been wet all day. With the tap running to heat up the water, I bring up a picture of Freddie on my phone. I took it right before I left and have stared at it for hours on end.

In the picture, Freddie is doing a silent happy dance because he was able to change Colby’s diaper after a feeding without waking him up. Those whiskey-colored eyes are twinkling in the flash…and the live photo caught him just as he was thrusting his hips from left to right.

So fucking sexy.

It’s easy to picture Freddie in a dark night club, pulsing to the beat and rocking his ass against my cock while we’re surrounded by strangers. I wonder if Andy would be willing to babysit one night so we could go out dancing? I push that thought aside and focus on the photo for a few more seconds before putting my phone down and stepping under the spray of water.

The heat feels good on my already flushed skin, but my senses are primarily focused on my throbbing cock as I stroke it from head to base. Using just a little more pressure than I normally do when getting myself off, I close my eyes and imagine sliding inside Freddie’s tight hole. I know he’ll probably never think of me as anything more than Andy’s brother, but my cock is very happy to grow and explode when I think of having something more substantial with Freddie.

Something serious and real.

Something permanent.

My balls draw up tight as I stroke faster, distorting the images of Freddie I have in my mind until they’re of him sucking my dick, licking and nipping the tip as I shoot my seed all over his face and mouth. My knot expands to its full width as my orgasm finally bursts free. I feel good and there is a measure of relief within my body, but I’m not sated. I haven’t been sated in months. It’s almost impossible for an alpha to be fully sated after sex unless his knot is locked inside a tight channel, holding his seed inside the person he cares about.

At least, that’s how they explained it in school. I think the truth is probably less sentimental and more scientific than that. I just know that when my knot is loose and has nothing to lock with, I feel like I’ve only had half an orgasm. Like the first part was achieved but the second part is missing.

The part where I hold my partner and tell him how much I enjoyed our time together.

The part where I kiss his neck and graze the skin with my teeth, teasing him to arousal once again.

And the part where I imagine not having any kind of barrier between us so my seed can find purchase within the body I’m holding…and make a new life.

Okay, that last part has only recently been added to the fantasy. Approximately, two weeks ago. Since meeting Freddie and watching him with Colby, something in me has changed. Spending another ten years traveling around the world before settling down and starting a family of my own no longer sounds like a practical life plan. In fact, it sounds miserable and lonely.

Now, I want a mate and a family and a picket fence.

I didn’t realize alphas had biological clocks but mine has gone haywire and is spinning out of control. And when I think of how to fix it, only one face comes to mind. It has brown hair, brown eyes, and the cutest chin dimple I’ve ever seen in my life.

I still have eight days left on this trip and then I’m scheduled for a seven-day tour in London and Ireland with a group of teenagers. It’s going to be a long couple weeks if I don’t find a way to scratch this itch before I get home.

* * *

It’s totally natural and there is nothing sexual about a parent nursing a baby. I know this is true and wholeheartedly believe it. Omegas are designed to carry and nourish their young until the child is old enough to eat solid foods. That’s just the way life is. But every time I see Freddie holding Colby to his chest and feeding him, I can’t look away. I know it’s not polite to stare, but something about it just fascinates me.

And turns me on.

He’d probably be freaked out if he caught me staring, but I just want to know what it feels like. How he tastes. What it would be like to suck one of his elongated nipples into my mouth and feast on the milky nourishment his body has created. Of course, that always leads to images of me moving south and taking a different elongated body part into my mouth and sucking it until it produces the creamy nutrients it has to offer.

Fuck, I need to blow my knot.

“Are you even listening to me?”

I force my eyes away from Freddie in the background and focus on my stupid brother. We’re gonna have to stop Skypeing during feedings because this is just weird. “Sorry, what? My connection blinked out for a second.”

“Oh, I was just saying that another Amazon box was delivered for you. Do you want me to open it or just leave it for you?”

I think about what I last ordered and shake my head. “No, don’t open it. Just stack anything that comes in by the hall closet and I’ll deal with them when I get home.”

And there goes that boner.

In a moment of stupidity, I ordered an omega flesh light that expands to hold a knot. I’ve heard about them but never tried one. I just wish I had been smart enough to have it delivered to my hotel instead of my apartment because that would really come in handy over the next few weeks. And for the foreseeable future beyond that.