23.

Elise

“You gonna tell him?” Liv surprises me, showing up in the bathroom so early in the morning. She’s on her knees behind me with my hair gathered to a ponytail in one hand while rubbing the other over my back in a comforting, reassuring show of friendship.

Am I gonna tell him? The badass biker in his faded, worn jeans, tight T-shirts, scuffed motorcycle boots and black leather Lords cut is all I’ve been able to think about for the past six weeks.

Six weeks since he held me in his arms for the last time. But as beautiful as his deep brown eyes or his peanut butter hair tied back in that sexy bun are to me, they’re not what I’m missing with my head bent over the toilet. Heaving nothing more than stomach acid now that I’d already emptied out everything else earlier, tears form in my eyes from the force of my retching and being hunched over for so long. No. What’s on my mind is how much I miss his sense of humor. He’s the kind of man who would help me through this by making me laugh so hard I’d completely forget about the nausea.

“It’s just the flu,” I tell her.

“Honey, you don’t have the flu. What you’ve got is a parasite. A parasite you caught when a river of Beau Hollister emptied into your reservoir.” She leans away, taking her hand from my back to open the cupboard under the sink, pulling out a long thin box. “Here.” She places the box in my hand and begins rubbing my back again. “Pee on this. Once we have confirmation, we’ll get you set up with an OB.”

I don’t have to pee on a stick for confirmation. I’ve been through this before. But I push up off the floor and wipe the sweat from my brow with the hem of my nightshirt.

While I do that, Liv takes the box again, pries open the top and pulls the test out. She stands close as I drop my undies and sit, then she shoves the uncapped stick at me, and I shove it in the urine stream.

“Says results can take up to three minutes to show, depending on how much pregnancy hormones are in your system.” Liv reads the directions from the back of the box.

The test doesn’t take three minutes. Or two minutes. Or even one minute. When I pull the test back to look at it there’s a giant pink plus sign staring at me. A pink plus sign. A plus sign. Giant. No. Not giant, this dwarfs giant, carrying the entirety of my life on its pretty pink points.

What am I going to do?

“You gonna tell him?” she asks again.

What am I going to do? I know what I’m not going to do. “No,” I reply. “Not now. He’s got too much on his plate to worry about this, too.”

“I think that’s a mistake.”

“Duly noted.” I continue to stare down at my hand, at the first test I ever wish I’d flunked.

“Serious, Elise. He needs to know.”

“Serious, Liv. I haven’t heard from him in six weeks. I’m sure he’s kept silent thinking he’s keeping me safe, but that shit’s not cool. And if things are so bad that he can’t pick up a damn phone to talk to me, well then he doesn’t need to bear the weight of this.”

Liv leaves so I can finish up and wash my hands, then I head back to my bed and pull the pillow over my head to block out the early morning light streaming in between the slats on my blinds. She’s a good friend, to show up sometime later with hot tea and toast.

“Love you,” I say, because I really do. I was never blessed with a sister, what I was blessed with is Liv. And to think I avoided her for so long. I was an idiot.

“Love you, too.” She drops a cell and a torn piece of paper with a number written on it on the bed next to me. “This is the number to my gynecologist’s office, obviously they provide obstetric services as well. I didn’t know who you went to.”

“If I call that makes it real.”

“Sorry honey, the puking and pink plus sign made it real. That’s whether or not you call. Calling will just ensure you’re both healthy. Maybe in the future, avoid unprotected sex with your sexy biker to keep from any repeats. ”

I take a bite of lightly buttered toast. “I know. I’m being ridiculous, it’s just that—” then I swallow my bite and sip my tea. “I’ve been through this before. And it didn’t end well so.” I shove the rest of the slice in my mouth, clearly avoiding her eyes.

“You’re scared. I get it. Chaos filled me in on some of yours and Boss’s history. But honey, Boss won’t turn his back on you. He wants it all. A home. A family. You’re giving the man his dream. So let’s take care of that dream, so we can see it to fruition.”

There’d been a time when Beau told me he wanted what’s on offer. But six weeks of zero contact, when I know he’s talked with Crass. I’m beginning to think he’s had a change of heart. What man in his right mind wants to give up his freedom to be tied down with a woman and baby, especially when that woman has a killer after her?

It takes me several minutes after Liv leaves my room to go take another call from some horny loser who can’t sex up the real thing, to get out of my own head. Then I press the number she brought me onto the keypad to call. After ten minutes, the sweet sounding receptionist on the other end has me set up with an appointment for next week. Thursday.