Chapter 21
There isn’t a day that goes by that, at some point, I don’t think of you.
-A note written by jack
Winter
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
I peeled my eyes open, thinking that whatever was fucking beeping needed to die. It needed to die soon. My head hurt. My body hurt. My stomach hurt. I was cramping, and I thought it was the cruelest thing Mother Nature could ever do to give me my period when I felt so bad.
But these were worse than I’d ever felt before. So much worse that I started thinking that something was seriously wrong with me. It wasn’t normal for me to be cramping this bad.
“Jack.” I moaned.
Nothing.
Just the damned beeping.
“Jack.” I cried again.
Still nothing.
Making my eyes open proved to be a chore. They felt like they were glued shut. My eyes finally did open, but it felt like I broke through a layer of glue to do so.
My vision was bleary, and I didn’t know if it was because of the pain I was experiencing, or the fact that I’d obviously went on a bender last night and didn’t mean to.
Except I wasn’t in my room. I was in a hospital room. The wall to my left was a bank of windows that showed me the dark black rain clouds that looked about as dreary as I felt. Then I saw the reason for the beeping.
Heart monitor. Blood pressure. IV drip.
The long tubing ran down to a port in my vein which was covered in a clear tape to keep it in place. My bottom half was covered in the hospital issued beige blanket that was common for nearly every health care facility. To my right was a wall of blinds, and then towards the back of the room was the door leading out to the hallway.
Turning my head carefully, I found the button on the side of the bed that was red and pressed the button.
“Can I help you?” A nasally voice asked.
She was obviously bored, if the tone of her voice was anything to go by.
“Jack.” I croaked.
Another vicious cramp tore through me, and I very nearly threw up from the pain of it.
The door to the room pushed open, and a cute little nurse that looked to be the age of my sister came in. Her scrubs were midnight blue, and she was wearing those ugly Crocs that nurses seemed extremely fond of.
“Hey, sweetie. How are you feeling?” She asked sweetly.
“Hurts. Where’s Jack?”
A look of pity crossed her face before she masked it with her blank nurse face. “Where does it hurt?”
“Cramps.”
She frowned and moved the edge of the hospital blanket down. That’s when I saw the growing pool of blood between my legs. Nausea burned in my stomach again, and this time I lost it.
Not again.
“No, Jack. No.” I cried.
“This will help.”
And it did. I was out as soon as the coolness spread all the way down my arm.
***
Taima
“When the hell did they have time to make a will in the past few months? It’s even signed by a lawyer! This is total bull shit!” I said, begging, pleading with someone to help.
I knew it was impossible, but still, somewhere deep down, I knew that this wasn’t the end.
“The will was made over seven years ago. It was done the year that they married. It clearly states that they have a DNR. They also said that no medical advancements should be made in the event that something life threatening was to happen. They didn’t want to survive on machines.” The doctor explained with a hint of pity in his voice.
“That was then, this is now! Who do I need to talk to have this shit over ridden?” I screamed.
“You would need to speak with a judge. Unfortunately, your brother just doesn’t have that time. I’m sorry. If he stops breathing again, he won’t be resuscitated this time.”
I turned as the doctor walked away and looked at all the faces of Jack’s friends. His family. The women were crying. The men wore somber faces. The kids were blissfully oblivious, and it made me jealous.
I was going to lose the brother I never got the chance to know. All because I was a bastard and refused to ask for help when I clearly needed it. First Catori and now this.
Fuck, I couldn’t do this. Not now. Not when I needed him the most.
Winter was having a miscarriage. Her second and Jack wasn’t going to be here to help her if she got better. When she got better.
Thunder boomed overhead, and I turned my head so I could see out the window.
The clouds were moving at an alarming rate. The sky was black, and lit up periodically with bright flashes of lightening that streaked across the night sky.
“We didn’t hear all that was said,” Gabe said. “Can you tell us what’s going on with them?”
I turned my attention away from the darkening sky to the man that looked about as horrible as I felt. His face was a mass of colored bruises, and he was wearing a sling around his arm to keep it in place due to a dislocated shoulder when he was thrown.
James and Sam were in much the same condition, minus the shoulder problem, and I’ve never felt more grateful for someone, other than my firehouse brother’s, in my life.
“Jack,” My voice cracked, and I cleared my throat and tried again. “Jack stopped breathing on the way to the hospital, but they were unaware of his DNR, so they revived him. Once he made it to the ER, they became aware of his medical wishes. Now, the doctor says it’s only a matter of time before it happens again, and this time they won’t revive him.”
“What about Winter?” Cheyenne pushed in, leaning against Sam’s side.
“Much the same. Trauma from the explosion. She’s got some swelling on the brain that’s causing some problems. About half an hour ago, she woke up and said she was experiencing abdominal cramping and pain. The doctor checked her over and found that she was going through a miscarriage.”
Gasps of surprise and devastation played throughout the room, and I couldn’t help but feel much the same. Jack had told me about Winter losing their first just two nights before. He’d told me how devastated he was about it and how he regretted enlisting in the military more than anything else he’d ever done in his entire life.
I’d explained that even if he’d been home, this might’ve still happened. We agreed to disagree, and hadn’t spoken of it since.
I wish I could have offered more words of compassion, but I wasn’t that type of man. I was a harsh, get things done kind of person, and words always seemed to fail me when I needed to speak the most. So, oftentimes, I came off as rude and unapproachable when things couldn’t have been further from the truth.
“What now?” Ember asked, eyes locked on me.
“We wait.”
***
Four days later
“You need to wake up. You have to kick this haze off, or you’re gonna lose your girl for real this time.” I whispered to Jack.
No movement. Not even an eye flutter.
“She had another miscarriage. Then she demanded to talk to you, and we had to tell her that you weren’t doing so well either. Her doctor can’t explain why she’s not waking up because her injuries weren’t anywhere near as life threatening as yours. I think she’s giving up.” I whispered.
The beep, beep, beep continued. “Don’t leave me, too.” I whispered and dropped my head to the hospital bed beside his hand.
I fell asleep in that awkward position, woke two hours with a crick in my neck the size of Texas, and an overwhelming need to use the facilities.
Just as I got my feet under me to stand, and started to pick my head up, a hand snuck its way into my shaggy hair and held on tight. I turned my head toward Jack’s direction and burst out laughing when he didn’t let go.
“This is familiar. Even from a hospital bed you can’t leave me alone.” I joked.
“Always,” He coughed and then continued. “Don’t let her leave me. Stay with her. Tell her if she leaves me again, I’m going with her. To the moon and back.”
I knew he was telling the truth, too. If Winter died, then so would he. He’d stop fighting so he could be with Winter. He’d made a promise never to leave her again, and he’d honor that promise to the death.
“Okay,” I choked out, but he was already asleep again and didn’t hear me.
Standing, I exited Jack’s door only to turn immediately and enter Winter’s. Their rooms were right next to each other, and even with all the begging and pleading in the world, the nurses wouldn’t let them stay in the same room.
In my opinion, hospital policy was complete bullshit in this situation. I knew if they both had each other, they’d heal faster. Knowing the other one was just right there. Not that my opinion mattered in the slightest.
Elliott’s wife helped smooth the way for the DNR order to be overthrown. Fortunately, since the first day Jack’s heart stopped, we hadn’t had to use it, which was a blessing in itself.
Winter just plain didn’t wake up. After waking the second time and being reminded of the miscarriage, followed by Jack’s prognosis, she’d gone to sleep and hadn’t moved since. That is, unless you tried to get near her stomach. Then she’d wake and start fighting with a vengeance.
The nursing staff had wanted to sedate her, but that was one thing I could control, and refused. My opinion of “just stay the fuck away from her” didn’t go over well with them, and I was kind of on the shit list.
Cheyenne stood, as I came through the door, smoothing her scrubs down over her hips and thighs. She looked worn and ragged, just like the rest of us.
“Hey,” She whispered and took a step away from the bed. “How’s Jack doing?”
“He woke up. Told me to tell Winter that he’d follow her if she left, and then passed out again. You working?” I asked.
Which was obvious, but she didn’t feel the need to make me feel stupid for asking.
She smiled as she heard me tell her what Jack said. “Yeah, I’m on lunch. Thought I’d spend an hour here. Payton’s gonna come down on her lunch break, too. We’ll text Blaine when we leave so she can sit here with one of them.”
“I’ll sit with Jack while you talk to her. Good luck!” She said as she walked out of the room.
I stared at Winter for a few moments, taking in the messiness of her hair, the white pallor of her skin, and the purple bruises that covered most of the exposed skin I could see.
Taking a seat in Cheyenne’s vacated chair, I cradled her palm in between my own and studied the comparison between our two skin tones as I spoke. “Jack woke up. He said to tell you he’d follow you to the moon and back.”
Nothing. No movement. Nor a twitch. Exactly like Jack.
My phone rang in my pocket and I pulled it up to my ear and said, “Hello?”
“They solved the case.” Thomas said with glee highly evident in his voice.
“Who’d they tag for it?” I asked.
I knew who did it, of course, what I didn’t know was if everyone else knew it now, too.
“Mr. Edward Clayton and his no good son, Peter Clayton.” He said mirthfully.
“Score!” I said pumping the air with my fist. “What’s the reasoning for doing it?”
“Apparently, Adam stumbled into a drug den, and instead on having it confiscated, he decided to blow it instead.” Thomas explained.
Confusion wrinkled my brow. “What? That doesn’t even make sense. How did they end up explaining the stray kid that we were looking for?”
“Someone that Edward double crossed called in an anonymous tip. He knew that the fire department could get in there without a warrant on the bogus endangered child call. The man didn’t know the place was wired, though. Came forward later and told the police everything he knew because he felt bad for Adam dying.” He said softly.
“Well, that’s wonderful news. Anything else?” I asked as I glanced over at Winter’s face.
Her brow was wrinkled, but both eyes were still firmly shut.
Raising my hand, I ran it along her brow and it smoothed out under my touch.
“Not really, no. Edward and Peter Clayton are wanted for the murder, but they’ve gone underground. You wouldn’t happen to know their whereabouts, do you?”
“Ahh, no. Not at this time.” I lied through my teeth.
Well, more like an omission, really. I didn’t know what happened to them after Jack, and company, left the bombing site. There were fire and police investigations that were pending, and apparently, there wasn’t much to work with since the whole thing blew to kingdom come.
Luckily, they were out in the country, or the surrounding buildings would’ve been affected. Not to mention all the people.
“How’re they doing?”
“Stubborn and hardheaded. They’re gonna make it.”
“Damn straight.”
We hung up with each other after a few more muttered assurances.
The clanging and banging of a heavy machine outside of Winter’s door announced the arrival of the ultrasound technician that I’d been putting off for the last few days, but it looked like my luck had run out.
“Mr. Stoker? We have to do this. If we don’t, she could still have leftover tissue that didn’t pass, and could get really sick. It has to be done.” She explained hesitantly, fearful of my reaction.
The woman was most assuredly young. Too young for me anyway.
She also didn’t deserve to have the shit I’d thrown at her the last four days, but someone had to watch out for those two if they weren’t willing to do it for themselves.
“Okay.” I said, backing away so she had room to move the machine in beside the bed.
“This,” she hesitated. “has to be done internally. Can you step out of the room?”
“How about you try to do it the normal way first.” I said. “Then, if she wakes up, at least she doesn’t have a wand stuck up her hoo-hoo.”
“Hoo-hoo? How old are you?” She giggled.
I pretended not to notice that she did what I asked. Instead, I watched the screen that meant a whole bunch of nothing to me.
“Holy cow,” she whispered eyes wide with shock.
My stomach clinched. “Oh, God. She can’t have surgery yet. He’s not awake.”
I’d obviously missed something that she was seeing though. All it looked like to me was a black and white screen with a bunch of waves on it. Hell, she could be showing me what she ate last night for dinner for all I knew.
“Umm, well,” she hesitated and met my eyes. “I’m not supposed to tell you. I’m only a tech. The doctor will have to read it first and then tell you.”
“No, you’ll tell me now.” I demanded.
She looked incredibly uncomfortable, but broke at the pleading look on my face. “She’s still pregnant.”