As I look at the busy street below from my office window at Falco Corp., I can’t help but marvel at the changes in my life. No longer am I a starving kid on the streets with my sole focus on feeding my brother and me. It’s been so fucking long since I had to worry about where our next meal was coming from that it seems surreal to me now. Sometimes I find it hard to believe I survived that. My kitchen in the penthouse is always fully stocked, and I eat in restaurants where prices aren’t listed on the menu. I’m no longer a gutter rat to be kicked aside like yesterday’s trash. I’m a sought-after member of Asheville, North Carolina, society and invited to parties given by the mayor, governor, and the upper crust of society.

If I’ve learned one thing, it’s that money and power will turn many an eye blind and even more ears deaf. Rumors circulate about my past and the fact I’ve long operated in the gray areas of the law abound, but the good people in this city don’t give a fuck. What they do care about is that I donate to whatever charity their guilty conscience prods them to support.

I’m not vain. It’s simply a fact that I’m attractive to the opposite sex. I also have a huge cock, and I know how to use it. I could gun someone down in the street on live television and still be welcomed into women’s homes and beds. Many years ago, this shit surprised me. When you grow up as the son of a crack whore with little more than the clothes on your back most days, being accepted by your peers is the last thing you expect. I was always an outcast, which was fine by me. It’s what kept Pete and me alive. Survival isn’t taught in public schools, but it damn well should be. Especially the schools I attended.

Even as a kid, I instinctively knew I needed to be the alpha. Even animals are born with this same ingrained knowledge. You assert your dominance early on and reinforce it as needed. It wasn’t that I enjoyed fighting as some did. Hell, I never considered myself a violent man by nature. But if it came down to the him-or-me scenario, it was him every time. I’ve killed to protect myself and those I love, and wouldn’t hesitate to do it again. Does it haunt me? Fuck no. I’ve never physically hurt an innocent person.

That’s one of the many things Victor Falco taught me: you don’t kill or torment for sport. But on the flip side, you also don’t allow others to perceive you as weak. When you make a threat, you back it up. Your word and your reputation are the most important things you’ll ever have. Your name, not so much. You can change that at the drop of a hat. But the core of who you are as a man cannot be altered. Evil will remain evil no matter how you try to dress it up. And good will remains true, regardless of the number of times you stumble. On the rare occasion, a person doesn’t fit into either category, and that’s what I consider myself. I’ve walked in the darkness, but I haven’t completely succumbed to the shadows.

My story might have been different without my brother and Victor, but I don’t think so. I’ve never found any pleasure in violence. It’s about necessity. Have I found a certain satisfaction in vengeance? Fuck yeah. Anyone who says they haven’t is lying. But at the end of the day, it’s all about doing the unpleasant things that need to be done. Another lesson from Victor.

Damn, I still miss the man I considered a father. The day he caught me stealing scraps from his restaurant kitchen was a turning point for me. It was then that my path altered. I learned how successful you could be when the lines between right and wrong were blurred.

Victor’s businesses were legitimate. The restaurant, the dry cleaners, the storage buildings, and a host of other entities I can barely remember now. I sold them all off long ago. But where Victor really made his fortune was laundering money for Draco Moretti. Like Pete and me, they grew up together and had been brothers until the day they’d been gunned down by a fucking street thug high on crack cocaine.

The bond you develop when you have nothing but each other to depend on for survival does something that few can comprehend. Victor saw himself in my eyes the night we met, and for that, I’ll be eternally grateful. It’s not that I wouldn’t have made it on my own, because failure has never been an option for me. Being cold and hungry will drive you to accomplish feats you never thought possible. And for all his country club, homeowner’s association ways now, Pete will tell you the same thing. My brother can and will kill a man in the blink of an eye if necessary. No matter how you dress us up, we’ll never be what society perceives as normal. We’ve seen and done too much. Regardless of the reasons, our actions and the people we’ve associated with along the way have left irreversible stains on our souls.

A knock on the door behind me pulls me from my thoughts. Kara. What an amazing difference a few months has made in my niece. It wasn’t long ago that I was verbally kicking her ass and attempting to pull her from the pity party she was intent on languishing in. Pete’s daughter looks so much like my own daughter, Lia, that I get a lump in my throat every time I see her. The girl owned me before I discovered my long-lost child and that hasn’t changed. Family is everything to me, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for those I love.

Kara survived breast cancer and a serious bout of depression. She also fell in love with Aidan Spencer, my son-in-law’s best friend and right-hand man at Quinn Software. They’ve had their ups and downs, but even now, as she frowns at me in irritation, there’s no missing the glow underneath the pissed-off exterior. Of course, I know what she’s angry about, and momentarily, I feel like a naughty schoolboy before I remember that I own the company. “Uncle, are you serious?” she begins. “How many does that make? I thought we agreed that Jen was the best assistant since Liza left.”

I pick up a pile of papers from the corner of the desk and wave it in the air. “She stapled these reports in the right-hand corner. Who does that shit? Everything is ass backward with her. I swear to God, she refuses to make coffee in the morning, yet brings me a damn triple shot espresso at four in the afternoon. Thanks to her, I haven’t slept in a month.” Kara gives an exasperated sigh before sinking into a chair in front of my desk. I perch on the corner, knowing she’s getting settled in to lecture me. Hell, I don’t even know who wears the pants around here anymore. It sure as fuck doesn’t seem to be me. Ever since she left… Or maybe even then it wasn’t me.

“What are we going to do now? Most of the temp agencies have stopped returning my calls.” Rolling her eyes, she adds, “Don’t look at me like that. I’m not going to be your assistant again. You’re a horrible boss.”

Not in the least offended—because it’s damn well true here of late—I shrug. “Just until we find someone else, sweetheart. I promise I’ll do better with the next one.” That was a fucking Oscar-worthy performance. I should take a bow.

“Have you even attempted to talk to Liza lately?” She moves right in for the kill. She’s so like me. I’m so proud. Except for right now.

I turn away, pretending to be fascinated by the pen on my desk. “She quit. What is there left to say? I don’t go around begging former employees to come back. She’s moved on,” I add quietly, feeling it like a punch to the gut. The woman I love—who should be mine—now belongs to someone named Harry, for fuck’s sake.

Misunderstanding my words, Kara wrinkles her nose in the same way she has since she was a kid. “How do you know she’s got another job? Has someone called for a reference?”

I’m confused for a moment by her question before I realize she’s taken my comment the wrong way. Although I am aware she’s working somewhere else as well, I don’t want Kara to know I’m having one of my guys follow my former assistant, so I reluctantly tell a lie to cover my tracks. There’s no way I can sell that for anything more than what it is—love. If only things were different. “Yeah, months ago. So there’s really nothing to discuss here. She couldn’t handle the pressure and quit her job. End of story.” Shit, I sound like a complete asshole. By the expression on my niece’s face, she agrees with my thoughts.

She finally stops glaring at me long enough to look down and study her nails. “You know, Uncle Lee,” she begins as if making idle chitchat. “I remember that talk you had with me not that long ago. I believe the moral of your words was that I shouldn’t be a coward.” I tense, knowing what’s coming. “So you can imagine how ironic I find this whole situation. We both know you’re in love with Liza, yet you just let her walk away and did nothing to stop her.”

Running a hand through my hair, I take a moment to rein in my temper. The urge to lash out is strong, but the woman in front of me doesn’t deserve it. And in a strange way, I’m proud she has the balls to call me out. Denial of everything she’s said is on the tip of my tongue, but I don’t want to continue lying to Kara. She’s also correct. I said similar shit to her and expected her to get it together afterward. That’s where our situations differ, though. I can’t do anything to change things. Being born a different man isn’t an option. Because for all her assurances to the contrary, Liza has no idea what I’m capable of or the things I’ve done in my life. In her head, I’m the guy from Fifty Shades of Grey. Maybe I like to throw out a few spankings because of my fucked-up childhood. Books and movies like that have women clamoring to find a damaged guy to save. But my past sins run far deeper than a rich guy wanting to experience some kink. Don’t get me wrong, a good spanking absolutely has a place in my life, but so does killing, if it’s justified and necessary. For all her bravado, Liza doesn’t have a fucking clue. She’s goodness and light, and I’m forever in the darkness. Not claiming her and bringing her into my world is one of the few selfless acts I’ve ever committed. The fact I’m in love with her makes it doubly unbelievable that I stepped aside and let her go. Realizing that Kara is still patiently awaiting a reply, I say truthfully, “There was nothing I could do. Liza wanted to be more than an employee of Falco, and I couldn’t give her that.”

Ever persistent, Kara asks, “But why not? You don’t have a girlfriend. I mean, I know you must… have women sometimes, but—well, that’s a guy thing.”

This conversation is spinning out of control. My niece is obviously alluding to me screwing other women. Even now as I try to think of a way to end this awkward talk, her face is flushed and she’s stumbling over her words. It’s time to put us both out of our misery. “Kara,” I say sternly, and am relieved when the room goes silent. Hell, I feared she would ask me next if I used protection. “Trust me when I say there are some things I’d rather not discuss. I care a great deal for Liza, which is exactly why I didn’t attempt to change her mind.” When Kara opens her mouth, I shake my head, signaling that the matter is closed. She knows me well enough after all these years to see that she’ll get no further—at least today.

Getting to her feet, she lets out a long-suffering sigh. “Why are all the men in my life so damn stubborn?” She steps forward to kiss my cheek. “I’ll take care of things until I can beg someone else to do it,” she grumbles.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” We both knew she’d give in all along, but I’m not about to point that out. She has the Jacks’ temper and will possibly throw something at me. She walks out of my office and closes the door behind her.

I return to my chair behind my desk and open my email. As usual, there’s a daily report from Jenkins. I open the attachment and begin scrolling down it, seeing nothing new. I’m almost at the bottom when my hand freezes. The name seems to leap from the page. Wrenn. I haven’t spoken that name in twenty years. The last I heard, he was living in Chicago. Even though he’s a man I count as an enemy, I haven’t bothered to watch him through the years. There are plenty of threats a lot closer with more to be pissed off about. I merely took one of his many companies out of his greedy hands. I did that for Victor and Draco. It hadn’t been personal, just another day in the life. Even though it was barely a blip on my radar, I never forget a name from my past. Especially if I wronged them.

According to the report, Liza has been at Hunter’s for almost two hours, so it certainly wasn’t a case of making a wrong turn. Picking up my cell phone, I place a call to the man who shadows the woman I love. As always, he answers simply, “Boss?”

“What the fuck is she doing at Hunter Wrenn’s?” I hiss, unable to hide my frustration. I don’t need this shit. My life has had enough drama in the past year to make me feel twenty years older than my current age of forty-five.

Jenkins, well accustomed to my abrupt personality, answers without pause. “Don’t know, boss. Wrenn’s house is only about ten minutes from her apartment, but she wound around the city, through the country, then onto the expressway. She took a few exits, got back on, then finally made her way there. The whole thing was strange. I just figured she got lost.”

I don’t bother to point out that I know Liza has a GPS in her car. There’s no way she accidentally took a route that far out of the way. I could see her making one wrong turn. Hell, I’d even give her two, but the scenario he just described says something else. She knows me well enough to suspect I keep an eye on her. But why would she not want me to know she was at Wrenn’s? I never discussed the man with her, so regardless of what took her to his house, she should have had no reason to hide it from me. “I want to know immediately if she goes back there. I’d also like for you to do some digging into her background and his. Find the connection.” I’ve never been a man to believe in coincidences, and I damn sure don’t plan to start now. I’m missing something, and I won’t stop until I find out what it is. My previous security head, Sears, ran a background report on Liza as he did all employees before her. Of course, I realized Sears himself was a fucking bumbling idiot who missed key information on Lia. He was fired immediately, which I thought solved the problem. But now I wonder if the dumbass had screwed up much more. “Something is off here, and I want to know what it is as soon as possible.”

“You got it, boss.” I toss my phone onto the desk as a prickle of unease makes its way down my spine.

What are you doing with him, Liza? Hunter Wrenn isn’t a good guy, by any means. His father had been a crook, and from what I’d been told back then, the son had been proud to continue the family tradition. Surely to God she isn’t dating him. She’s supposed to be seeing some safe and boring guy named Harry. I’m not happy about it, but at least he appears to be a solid and unexciting choice. Much better than the likes of me. But Wrenn? Fuck no. I’ll be damned if I let her be with a man like that. Whatever this association between them is, it will be over the minute I find out about it. If I can’t convince Liza of that fact, then I’ll make sure Wrenn understands what will happen if he doesn’t walk away. I’ve taken from him before, and I will do it again without a moment’s hesitation.

LIZA

Is this what my life has come to? I wonder glumly as I pop another M&M into my mouth and try not to think about the number of calories in the little chocolate piece of heaven. The ten pounds I’ve added to my ass tells the tale, though. Why, oh why can’t I be one of those women who stops eating when they’re depressed? But no, I eat to deal with my problems. I take a hefty drink from my wine glass and giggle as I imagine the look of horror on my sister’s face if she could see me now. I swear, I’m not sure that Jacey even eats. When we go to a restaurant, I see her holding a fork but have never actually spotted anything going into her mouth other than a random piece of lettuce. That probably explains why she weighs one hundred pounds soaking wet. My mother affectionately told me I was big-boned like the women in her family. My dickhead cousin Chad nicknamed me J-Lo after the famous actress with the well-proportioned ass.

Truthfully, I’ve spent my entire adult life feeling frumpy and awkward. Only one man made me feel beautiful and desirable, and he’s the reason I’m packing on the pounds. Lee Jacks—the very thought of him is like a dagger to my heart.

I hear the front door open, and I panic, quickly tossing the candy under a sofa cushion. Jacey comes sailing into the room and stops just inches away from me. I see the look of disapproval on her face as she takes in my appearance. Obviously, the yoga pants and sloppy T-shirt I’m wearing don’t quite meet with her approval. She’s dressed in a form-fitting pencil skirt, high heels, and a blouse so sheer I can easily see the outline of her bra. We share long, blond hair, but that’s where the similarities end. Mine is piled into a messy ponytail and hers an elegant French twist. She puts her hands on her slim hips and releases a long-suffering sigh. “Exactly how long is this pity party going to last?” Wrinkling her nose, she asks, “For God’s sake, when’s the last time you took a shower and washed your hair?” That I must think about my answer tells her all she needs to know. She plasters on her best concerned-sister look and eases onto the other end of the sofa. “You’ve got to snap out of this.” Then she goes for the ultimate low blow. “Do you want to end up like Mom?”

I pull the pack of M&M’s from their hiding place and wave them in her face defensively. “I’m eating chocolate, not drinking myself into a stupor. I think there’s a difference here.”

She leans over and pulls the candy from my hand as if to save me from myself. “I’m referring to the fact that you aren’t dealing with life very well. Food may be your drug of choice, but it still boils down to an inability to cope.”

Crossing my arms over my chest, I roll my eyes at her because I know she hates it. It’s petty, sure, but this therapy session is pissing me off. Why can’t my family just leave me alone? It’s because of them that I’m so damn miserable. When will I ever stop letting them tell me what to do? For God’s sake, I’m thirty-four years old. Shouldn’t I have grown a backbone by now and learned to stand up for myself? “Was there something you wanted?” I’m so tired of this familiar conversation.

Her mouth tightens, and I can see her struggle to hold back the tirade she’s dying to unleash on me. She’s probably afraid she’ll send me off into an alcohol-fueled tailspin. After all, it’s certainly in our genes. Thanks, Mom. I wait, wondering which route she’ll take today. I watch in fascination as her inner struggle plays out before me. Finally, I see the moment she plasters on the good-sister face, and I’m almost disappointed. An argument would have at least gotten my blood pumping and given me something else to focus on besides the dismal shape my life is in. Hell, if I got really worked up, I might even burn a few calories in the process—winning! She does manage to catch me by surprise when she hands my pack of candy back to me. “Here, honey. You probably really need this. I know this has been hard on you.”

She looks almost faint when I pour a handful of the brightly colored goodness into my palm and pop them loudly in my mouth. It’s probably more carbs than she’s consumed in the past month, much less in one sitting. I make a production of rolling my eyes back into my head and smacking my lips. She runs her hands nervously down her thighs as if she’s afraid the calories I’m consuming will rub off on her. That’s one thing about being sisters. We learned how to push each other’s buttons long ago. When I’m finished with the pack, I’m almost sure I have chocolate somewhere on my face by the way her gaze is glued there, but I refuse to give in and wipe it away. It’s too much fun watching it irritate her. “Man, those were good,” I groan. “I may have to make a run to the store later for more.” Giving her a sweet smile, I ask innocently, “Do you think you could pick up some for me the next time you’re coming over? It would save me a trip.”

I bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud as she shudders. “Absolutely not,” she snaps. And just like that, the good sister is gone, and the familiar, snippy one is back.

Oh well, it was nice while it lasted. “Is there a point to this visit?” I ask, more than ready for her to leave now. If not for her almost daily impromptu drop-ins, I could be left in peace to die alone and be eaten by my cat, Rufus. I’ve started locking him out of my bedroom at night, though, because I’m afraid of that very thing happening.

“Dad is worried about you. He said you refused to ask for your job back at Falco.” Yes, sis. I was there last night. I know what he wants from me.

Ding, ding! We’ve got a winner, ladies and gentlemen. My father is no more worried about me than my sister is. They’ve both spent most of my life trying to pretend I don’t exist. But now with their sights set on Lee Jacks, I’ve suddenly become useful. I left my job with him before I was supposed to and failed them. I lost the man I love out of some insane, misplaced loyalty to a family who couldn’t care less about me. And now they want more. Well, fuck them. I’m finished. Done. It’s over. “I’m not going back. Ever,” I interrupt Jacey’s attempt at coercion. “I never should have done it in the first place. The whole thing was crazy, and exactly what would it have accomplished in the end?” Before she can answer, I continue. “You have no idea what type of man you’re dealing with. Lee plays in the big leagues. He eats people like our father for breakfast. If he ever found out what I was attempting to do, he’d destroy us all.”

She looks as if she can’t believe what I’m saying. “I realize you’ve always been different, but surely, even you care about what he did to our mother. He’s the reason we were raised by a nanny while our father grieved.” She jumps back to her feet as if pulled upright by an invisible set of strings held remotely by our father. I literally feel the blood drain from my face when she taunts, “Why don’t you just admit this has nothing to do with fear and everything to do with the fact you’re infatuated with the bastard. I found you a job and a new guy, yet you still cling to this crush you have on that monster. What more does he have to do for you to wake up and see the light? I told Dad you were the wrong choice to work at Falco, but he said that no one would ever suspect someone like you being a Wrenn. Well, I was certainly right about that, but a lot of good it did us. We were so close, and you tossed it all away. I’ll even admit that he’s a handsome devil—hell, more than that. I would have looked the other way while you slept with him for the greater good. I’d have probably been impressed.”

Now that the initial shock has passed, I’m pissed. How dare she judge me? I glare at her, then realize she still has the advantage while she towers over me. Fuck that. I get to my feet and do something else she hates. I move closer and invade her personal space. Her eye twitches, but she stands her ground. “How dare you presume to judge me,” I grind out through tightly clenched teeth. “I’m the one who spent over two years of my life doing exactly what was asked of me. Regardless of what you say, I don’t recall you trying very hard to take my place. On the contrary, I believe you mentioned repeatedly that you were needed as Dad’s right-hand. There’s no way you could have made the sacrifices I have, and you damn well know it. So save me the lecture.”

She’s momentarily taken aback, but she recovers quickly. She is truly the female version of our father and always manages to land on her feet. Her lips curl into a sneer of disgust as she runs her gaze up and down me. “I knew this would happen. You’ve never been around a man like Lee Jacks. I mean really, you’ve barely even been on more than a handful of dates. I had to call in some favors with Harry to take you out. I believe he said he wasn’t interested in a chubby blonde who ate more than he did. Luckily for us, Dad holds the lease on his building, and the threat of a sharply escalated monthly payment was enough to change his mind. It’s not all bad, though,” she adds in a falsely encouraging voice. “He says you do a fair job of answering the phones, and he’s not constantly tempted to chase you around the desk like his last assistant. Plus, we’re paying your salary, so it’s a win-win for him.”

My stomach clenches as her words sink in. It’s not that I’m attached to Harry. Heck, I’m not even remotely attracted to him. He’d seemed kind, though, and when he began asking me out shortly after I started working for him, I’d agreed. He was pleasant company, and it took my mind off my dismal life for a few hours. Of course, now I knew he was simply a Wrenn minion. Even though I didn’t care about the loss of a date or the job, it still stung that my sister had been paying someone to go out with me. He never made me feel that way. Lee had wanted me. I felt the proof of his desire the few times he kissed me. If only he’d done more. Suddenly, I’m tired. More exhausted than a woman my age should be. The fight leaves me, and I want her gone. I can’t deal with any more today. “Get out,” I say wearily. I turn my back on her and begin walking away. This may not be a backbone move, but I refuse to be belittled in my own house. As I so often am.

“I’m not finished,” she snaps, but I ignore her. Unhurriedly, I make my way toward my bedroom and close the door. For good measure, I turn the lock. Rufus is sitting in the center of my bed giving me a pitying look as if to say, your sister is one hell of a bitch. I nod my agreement—we understand each other perfectly. I slump down next to him, putting a hand on his soft fur and gently stroking his back until he begins to purr. I expect to hear Jacey pounding on my door, but there is nothing but silence until I hear a car starting in the distance.

“Wow, I can’t believe that worked,” I murmur. But I know with a certainty that this isn’t over. There is no way my family will let me walk away. The irony is that we both want the same thing—me back with Lee—just for different reasons. To them, I’m the key to taking down their enemy, which is exactly why I left. And it was almost too easy. I used the one tool at my disposal guaranteed to make him let me go. I pressed him for more. Amazing how simple it was to make a powerful man literally run in the other direction. Just have the “relationship talk” and they quiver in their damn shoes. Even though it had been horribly embarrassing, I knew he’d see right through anything else. Don’t they always say that the trick to pulling off deceit is to add as many elements of the truth as possible? Well, that much had been easy because I’m in love with him. I have no idea what my backup plan would have been had he given in to my demands to have a real relationship, but sadly, that hadn’t been necessary.

I shift until I’m more comfortably settled on the stack of pillows behind me. Images of our last moments together flood my mind, and this time, I don’t attempt to stop them. Because even if it changes nothing, I need to be with him again. Even if it’s only in memories.

It had been an unusually quiet day at Falco. It was casual Friday, and I was wearing my favorite pair of Levi’s and a green fitted blouse. I was also more exhausted than I could ever remember being. I hadn’t slept eight hours straight since I began working for Lee. At first, it had simply been a case of nerves. Pretending to be someone else wasn’t easy, and I was constantly on guard, afraid I’d say the wrong thing. After all, I was Jade Wrenn, not Liza Malone as I had pretended to be for the past two years. I have no clue how my cover managed to hold up under Lee’s intense scrutiny, but it had. I probably owed a huge debt to his former security chief who’d been more interested in chasing skirts at the office instead of digging for the truth. I never expected to make it past the first week, much less be there long enough to fall helplessly in love with the man I was supposed to hate.

On that last day with Lee, I’d reached my limit. My sister had been pushing me to sleep with him so I’d have access to his apartment, which I realized was as stupid as it sounded. I’d been there on a few occasions, but I’d never had the freedom to look around. I’d found no evidence to suggest Lee was as evil as my family suggested, and I had access to many confidential files for quite some time at the office. I knew I wouldn’t find anything in his apartment.

Lee is brilliant, and he’s beyond gorgeous to look at with that blond hair, blue eyes, and holy hell, what a body. He might be in his forties, but he could pass for someone years younger. One of the key things that always turned me on was his intelligence. Everything he touched turned to gold, and it had nothing to do with luck. He was insightful and driven. He knew which struggling companies he could turn around and sell for a fortune as easily as some knew what brand of toilet paper they preferred. I suspect that if tested, he would have the IQ of a genius. Move over, Stephen Hawking, Lee Jacks could make you look like a toddler with a box of crayons.

It was after four in the afternoon. Lee had been absently rubbing his temple because he’d been staring at his computer screen for far too long. His mind never shut down for long, and as a result, he sometimes suffered from tension headaches. A weakness he hated. I didn’t like to dwell on how he likely blew off steam when things became too much for him. He kept his sexual exploits out of Falco, which I was grateful for, but I knew a man like him had a healthy appetite for all things, including women. In my time as his assistant, I’d never so much as caught him looking twice at any of his attractive employees. And some of them were so pathetically obvious in their attempts to get his attention.

He’d surprised me that day by suddenly glancing up as I was arranging a stack of papers on the corner of his desk. “You should take off early, Liza. You’ve been here late every night this week.”

I’d shrugged, not really interested in leaving since I had nowhere to go other than my quiet home. “That’s life when your boss works eighteen-hour days.”

Normally, the personal conversation would end at this point, and he’d shift his focus back to whatever he was engrossed in. Instead, he’d leaned back in his leather chair and studied me until I became so nervous I’d damn near swallowed the paperclip I’d put between my lips while sorting the last stack of paperwork. I pulled the silver metal from my mouth and saw him quirk a brow in amusement before shaking his head. “I’ve told you not to do that. It’s dangerous. I have nightmares about having to dig one of them out of your throat.”

Before I could think better of it, I’d joked, “Well, at least you’re dreaming about me. Even if it’s a far cry from what I’d prefer you think about when you’re asleep.” Oh shit! I’d cringed, wanting to take back what I’d said. I’d lowered my head, hoping he’d missed it, but no such luck. Lee, it seemed, was in the rare mood to have a non-business-related chat.

He surveyed me lazily, bringing to mind a cat playing with a mouse before it moved in for the kill. “And what exactly would you prefer, Liza?”

I’d dropped my gaze, attempting to break the connection. “Er… nothing. I was kidding.” I’d forced a laugh out that sounded far too shrill even to my own ears.

He shifted the conversation suddenly. “What’s bothering you? Don’t bother to lie, because you haven’t been yourself all day. Aren’t you feeling well?” It was that note of concern in his voice that was almost my undoing. I felt the overwhelming urge to crawl on his lap and confess everything. If only that were possible. But he wouldn’t pull me closer and make it all better. No, he’d have me kicked out of Falco and probably arrested. Those things would be bad, but it was the thought of him hating me that I couldn’t tolerate. I’d rather walk away and lose him in that manner than to have him know who I was and what I’d done.

This was what it had come down to. Say goodbye on my own terms or let my family push me into destroying any fond memory that Lee might have of me. So I’d forcibly swallowed past the huge lump in my throat and looked at him. Then I’d rocked his world, but not in the way I’d always longed to. “I’m tired of this game we’ve been playing. You know I have feelings for you, and I believe you have some for me as well. You’ve kissed me before, then pushed me away and acted like it never happened. Do you realize that I’ve only been on a couple of dates the entire time I’ve been working for you?” When he’d opened his mouth to say something, I’d waved him off angrily, no longer having to pretend I was pissed. “You think I don’t know that when I mentioned needing to leave early in the past, you made damn sure we had some emergency that required us to stay late? And the sad part is that I didn’t care. My heart wasn’t in seeing anyone else. You gave me the perfect excuse not to have a life outside of Falco. I blamed it on our hectic schedule, but in reality, no one else interested me. After all, who could possibly compare to you? And dammit, you gave me just enough encouragement to keep me coming back for more.”

“Liza”—he exhaled sharply— “don’t do this. You know there can never be anything more between us than the relationship we have now.”

“What exactly do we have?” I snap. “You’re my boss, and I’m your assistant. We flirt with crossing the line occasionally, but that’s it. And regardless of what you tell yourself, you don’t want me to move on. You want me right here mooning over you. Is it some kind of ego rush, or are you simply oblivious to how I feel? Heck, for all I know, you have a mean streak where I’m concerned, and you enjoy seeing me suffer.” He looked pained as my words hung in the air between us. For some reason, that made me even angrier. How dare he pretend to be the one suffering here? He had no idea what I’d been going through since this whole damn charade started. Granted, a big part of that was the fault of my family and not him, but dammit, they’re not here and he was. I pointed at myself then to him. “Really, no explanations are necessary. I’m the frumpy secretary, and you’re the mega-hot boss. Naturally, you’re not interested in me in a personal way. We both know you have women who look a heck of a lot better than I do throwing themselves at you daily. And I’ve certainly never seen you in the tabloids with anyone approaching chubby. Most of them look as if they’ve never walked in a McDonald’s before in their lives. I bet they force themselves to throw up if they even drive within a mile of a fast-food restaurant.” Then it happened… something beyond comprehension. His shoulders shook, and for just a moment, I feared I’d made the great Lee Jacks cry with my hurtful comments. But no—the bastard was actually laughing. Without thinking, I grabbed the first thing within reach and threw one of his expensive pens at his head. As if anticipating the move, he plucked it effortlessly out of the air. “You’re such an asshole,” I hissed, no longer caring that I was committing career suicide. That was what I wanted. I thought. A way out of the mess I’d gotten into.

He raised a brow, twirling the pen in his fingers. “I always knew you had claws under that calm exterior,” he murmured.

“And I was certain you were a dickhead beneath the whole iceman persona. Looks as if we were both right, huh, boss?” I smirked. At that point, I didn’t even know the woman spouting insults at the man she loved anymore. I’d never been so disrespectful to anyone before in my life, and it was both scary and strangely exhilarating. I’d opened the gates, and it was hard to stop the flow of catty comments, so I didn’t even try. I perched on the corner of his desk and began shifting items around on the immaculate surface. I knew well how much he hated disorder, and I grinned inwardly as his eye twitched slightly at the mess I made. I was tempted to knock his half-empty cup of coffee over, but I wasn’t quite that brave. He would’ve probably strangled me for that offense. “This gangster vibe you’re rocking might turn all the other women on, but I’ve always felt it was a little absurd. I mean, The Sopranos have already been done to death. Couldn’t you have come up with something more original?”

He was out of his chair so fast I barely tracked the movement. I was pulled from his desk and slammed into the hard wall of his chest. “You have no idea who you’re playing games with, little girl,” he gritted out. “I could show you a monster so fucking ugly that you’d never be able to close your eyes in the dark again. Is that what you want? For me to poison every part of your life until I’ve destroyed you? Because you’re naïve if you don’t think it would come to that. You don’t have a goddamned clue what I’ve done without blinking a fucking eye or what I’m capable of doing.” I expected him to be rough, but when he took my face in his hands, he was gentle as if I was made of glass. “You’ve been closer to me than anyone other than Pete. But unlike him, I’ve sheltered you from the real me. And maybe that was a mistake.” He ran a finger across my lips, and they parted almost of their own violation. “You’re a beautiful woman, and I’ve always been attracted to you. I have no idea where this absurd and inaccurate opinion that you have of yourself came from, but it’s bullshit. You have no clue how tempted I’ve been to throw caution to the wind and give us both what we want.”

Drowning in the desire in his eyes, I whispered huskily, “Then do it. Stop trying to protect me. I’m not who you think I am.” That last part was as close to a confession as I’d ever been, but he didn’t know that. He thought I was saying I was some sort of closet bad girl who was up for whatever he unleashed. Maybe he was right about that, but sadly it didn’t mean that, and I wasn’t brave enough to go any further with my revelations. I couldn’t live in a world where he hated me. I wasn’t that strong.

He lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me angrily. He was tempted. I felt it. It was also impossible to miss the bulge of his hard cock pressing into my stomach. Knowing he desired me was a heady kind of power. Regardless of everything else, he wasn’t lying when he said he wanted me. I moaned, attempting to get closer. And for a moment, he allowed it. We were both lost as his lips devoured mine and his hands on my ass pulled me tightly against him. The ache inside me was sweet agony. I was ready to beg him to take me, but before I could make a total fool of myself, he pulled back abruptly, putting distance between us. “Fuck,” he gritted through clenched teeth. “Fucking hell! I can’t think when I’m touching you.” He sounded bewildered, as if I’d cast some type of spell on him, which was absurd since it was the exact opposite.

“Don’t stop,” I whispered shamelessly, still holding on to a shred of hope that this could work out. I stepped forward and went up onto my toes to wrap my arms around his neck. “If you want me, then for once, show me. I can’t keep going the way we have been. I deserve more than this.”

I knew I’d said the wrong thing when his eyes closed briefly before opening again. The sad resignation broke my heart. I’m not sure how I could lose something that I never really had, but it happened. He brushed a kiss onto my forehead in a gesture so tender that it slayed me. “You’re absolutely right, little bird. You should never settle for a man like me. You’re goodness and light, and I’m nothing but darkness. Even if I turned over a new leaf today, it wouldn’t matter. My soul will always be tainted black from the things I’ve done. And I refuse to let that seep over onto you.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I’ve never been who I appear to be. I’m closer to the color of night than you could imagine.” He probably thought I was lying to get what I wanted. What he didn’t realize was that this was in fact my truth. If I said my father’s name right then, would it have made a difference? After all this time, would he even know the man who hated him so very much? People came and went from Lee’s life every day. Even a man as intelligent as he was would have to lose sight of some after a while. Especially ones he didn’t label as a threat. To him, it would have only been business, but to my father, it had been anything but. I’d been around long enough to know that for every big winner in corporate America, there must be a loser. Every positive needed a negative. It is the balance of most things in life. My father was simply on the wrong side of the equation. When I’d gone to work for Lee, I’d expected to find the very monster he proclaimed himself to be. And he was single-minded when he wanted something. But he was also fair. More so than my father ever would have been. He weighed the odds and impact of acquisitions very carefully before he pursued them. Heck, most of the companies he’d taken over still retained their original board members and they spoke in glowing terms of Lee. And why wouldn’t they? He made their broken corporations profitable again, in turn lining their pockets along with his. I must admit, it had been damned confusing for the longest time. I’d expected one thing, but had gotten another. Hence my initial crush, then my unrequited love for the complex man before me.

“I believe we have very different opinions on what constitutes good and bad, sweetheart,” he said ruefully. “I don’t think your occasional use of profanity and borrowing office supplies qualifies you for hell.”

My face colored as I remembered the pack of pens I’d taken home the week before. In my defense, I mostly used them for work I did after hours, but still… damn. The man truly knew everything. “I’ll have you know those were the cheap plastic ones, and I used them to proofread those contracts.” I rolled my eyes before pointing at the stack of papers in his letter tray.

He grinned as he tweaked my nose. “I was kidding, but the fact you confessed so easily just proves my point. You’d never be able to handle the pressure of my world.”

I jab a finger in his chest and smiled when he winced. “We’re hardly dodging gunfire up here, Lee. And as far as I know, your penthouse hasn’t been so much as robbed since I’ve worked for you. What exactly am I supposed to be frightened of? Have you stiffed your cleaning lady? Is she going to beat me with her vacuum cleaner? Will the window washer attempt to drown me in a moment of madness because you left a smudge on the tinted glass in the lobby?” Snapping my fingers, I add sarcastically, “Oh I know, the security guard is pissed because you didn’t ask about the newest addition to his family. Dammit, how could you have been so rude! He’ll probably slug me with that handheld scanner now. Or maybe Lia is tired of having a gangster for a daddy? That’s totally understandable. If she’s going to send someone after me, I sincerely hope it’s her hot hubby, Lucian. Mmm, do you think he’d use handcuffs? I bet he could take the light right outta me.”

Lee’s mouth dropped open, and he looked downright shocked and a tad offended. Maybe I’d gone a little too far in objectifying his son-in-law, but really, he deserved it. Plus, Lucian was a stud, so it hadn’t been a lie. I didn’t bother adding that I found Lee far more attractive than his daughter’s husband. The man had a big enough ego already. He reached out and gripped my arm. His hold was firm but not enough to be painful. He glared daggers at me when he snapped, “So, you fancy Quinn?”

I had started that train wreck so I bravely plowed on. “Who wouldn’t?” I winked. “You should think of using a better word than fancy, though. That’s a bit outdated. These days, we prefer something like smoking or yummy. Of course, after a few drinks, they get a lot more descriptive. I guess that’s not something they cover in your AARP newsletter, though. You’re so lucky you have me to help you out.”

“Oh, really now?” he purred. The voice in my head was screaming for me to shut the hell up, but when had I ever listened to that annoying bitch? If I had, I wouldn’t be in this mess now. “How fortunate for me indeed. Thanks for showing this old man the error of his ways. That’s so thoughtful of you, Liza. Granted, I’ve never had an occasion to need such a descriptive overview of Lucian’s appearance, but it was nice of you to so thoroughly provide one for me.”

I grin uneasily, determined to see this through no matter how badly it’s bound to go. “No problem, dude. We’re pals, right?” Dear God, had I actually called him dude and pal? He blinks rapidly a few times as if unable to believe the shit coming out of my mouth either. I attempt to give him my best seductive smile. “Don’t worry, I’ve always been attracted to older men. You’re plenty hot enough to me.” I narrow my eyes, looking at him closely. “It’s hard to tell, considering the color, but I don’t think you have any gray hair yet. Plus, you easily pass for late forties.”

There went that twitch again. For a man who I’d always believed above such things, he seemed sensitive about the whole age thing. Which was laughable, considering he could be mistaken for a thirty-year-old. “I’m forty-five,” he gritted out. “It’s kind of you to say that I only look a few years older than that.” He released his hold on me to put a hand behind his head, rubbing his neck. “Again, I must ask, what in the hell has gotten into you today? If I didn’t know better, I’d swear you’re not the same person who walked in the door this morning. Did you have a few drinks at lunch? Hell, did you smoke a joint in the stairwell? I won’t even lecture you; it would be a relief to have some sort of explanation.”

I pat his muscular arm sympathetically. “Sorry, buddy. None of the above. Although I might do both of those things later.” And that was a strong possibility. How else would I deal with my soon-to-be unemployed state and the loss of the man I hated leaving? Not that he’d ever been mine to start with, but at least there had been mutual respect. By the time this was over, that would be out the window as well. “I think I have suffered some kind of breakdown brought on by my years of being strung along by you. Have you ever stopped to consider what that can do to a woman? You dangle your sexiness over my head, then when I’m all in, you pull it back and list all the reasons why we’re not compatible. Can’t you just admit that you’re simply not that into me? Wouldn’t honesty be the best policy here?” Oh brother, I’m preaching to him about being honest? Heck, I have a hard time not lying to him about what I had to for lunch. Deception has become second nature to me now.

“Liza, you know that’s not it. I’m extremely attracted to you. You’re also aware why it can go no further than a business relationship between us.” He’s frustrated again. What man wants to have this kind of talk? Naturally, he’d rather throw himself out the window than endure this hell. I almost feel sorry for him and start making excuses.

I wanted to back down; I really did. I didn’t want to quit my job and walk away from Falco—or Lee. But hadn’t this been inevitable since the beginning? We’d always been on borrowed time. Admittedly, I thought it would end another way, so going out on my own terms—even if they were insane—seemed better than having him discover my true identity. No one played Lee for a fool and got away with it. He might have some type of complicated feelings for me, but those would all go away in the blink of an eye when he discovered what I’d done. So I square my shoulders, clear my overly dry throat, and say, “I’m over all this drama. This job is entirely too demanding, and if you have nothing to offer along with it, then I’ll need more time to get a life. I’ll even make the arrangements with a staffing agency for someone to fill in until you’ve decided on a replacement.”

His eyes drill into me, and his mouth moves, but no sound escapes for what seems like an hour. I’m shifting uncomfortably on my feet, ready to wrap myself around his feet and beg him to forgive me. Finally, he says, “You’re not talking about a long vacation, are you?”

Again, he’s given me the perfect out, but I can’t back down now. “No, I’m not.”

And then he absolutely crushed me. I know it was just the stubborn part of his personality, but instead of begging me to stay, he turned his back and walked behind his desk. His blank mask and air of control perfectly in place as he simply nodded. “As you will, Liza. Take care of things, then submit your official resignation. I’ll see that you’re compensated adequately.” He took his seat and appeared engrossed in his computer. I know that move well. I’ve seen him do it time and again when he wants rid of someone. He’s dismissing me, and it fucking hurts because he’s never done that to me before. It’s as if a stake has been driven through my heart. I’m no longer in the inner circle. I’m an outsider, and I’ve made it happen. It’s better this way, I try to convince myself. Wouldn’t I rather be ignored than hated? I knew this would be hard, but I hadn’t realized until this exact moment how much it would hurt. He kissed me, and even that changed nothing. How can he say he’s attracted to me, touch my skin, kiss my lips, and then moments later, show me the door? How? A stranger would soon sit at my desk and spend hours a week with the incredible man before me. He’ll eventually get comfortable with her, and they’ll form a bond as we have. She’ll be a part of Falco, and I’ll be a distant memory. The crazy assistant who fell for the boss, then left after having an emotional breakdown.

Before I embarrassed myself by crying in front of him, I left his office. I made a note to call the staffing agency on Monday morning, but it never happened. Lee made arrangements for Kara to fill in, and I never returned to Falco. I never returned to see his handsome face, hear his voice that could make my heart race, or marvel at his brilliance beside him. I lost my job at Falco, but in reality, I lost much more. Apart from my dignity. It had been sweet torture working for Lee Jacks, but it was him I truly missed. I still do.

I don’t need to work. I have plenty of money in my bank account thanks to my mother. But I’ve never been good with idle time. I’m already a freaking basket case, so I know I need to do something. I just need to figure out what. Die of a broken heart and eventually be eaten by Rufus? Yeah, right now that’s the front-runner. I sleep with my bedroom door closed, not trusting the furry animal that I outweigh by… well a lot. The way my luck is going, the bastard probably has a shitload of friends waiting by the back door to help a brother out.