The three of them had a quick and quiet dinner. Nobody had much of an appetite after the shocking news they’d partially uncovered that day, which meant Briar ended up getting more than her fair share of leftovers.
“I’m going to head home,” Scarlett said once they’d finished what little they could eat. “But I can come back in a heartbeat. Call, text, Snapchat me, send a smoke signal, whatever. Just know that I’m here for you, okay?”
“I know, and I love you for it.” Lauren walked her friend to the door and waited as she gathered up her things.
Shane cleared his throat as the two women hugged goodbye, and together they watched through the big front window as Scarlett drove away.
“I’m sorry I opened it,” Shane murmured. “I really did think it was for me.”
“It’s okay. I would have told you right away anyway. You’re trusting me to help with your daughter. The least I can do is trust you to help with my parents.” She whispered that last word. It was the only way she could even get it out.
“Parents, wow. Earlier today I was an orphan, but now I have a mom I’ve never met. Did you…?” She trailed off, but Shane said nothing. Instead, he wrapped her in a tight hug and waited until she was ready to say more.
“Did you read the letter?” she asked, almost hoping he had to save her from having to read it for herself.
“I didn’t. I knew it wasn’t right to look at those things without you. I saw the pictures because I thought that maybe the blanket was just some kind of odd packaging. You get that sometimes with secondhand sellers.” He laughed softly into Lauren’s hair as they embraced.
“I just can’t figure it out. Did my dad know she was alive all this time? Was he ever going to tell me? Why would they hide something like this? None of it makes any sense, Shane.”
“Hush. I know.” He pulled away and stroked her hair, employing a calming technique similar to one she’d seen him use with the dogs. “There’s one quick way to find out.”
“You want me to read the letter.” She knew she had to, but she felt afraid of how the unknown words could change her life.
“Only if you’re ready.” He hobbled off to retrieve the box from the place he’d stored it during dinner.
As Shane set it on the end table beside Lauren’s chair, she asked, “Will you stay with me? I can’t do this alone.”
“If that’s what you want, then that’s what I’ll do.”
“Okay,” Lauren said before she could change her mind, settling into the recliner she liked to think of as hers. Her knees felt weak, and she wondered if this was how Shane felt all the time.
Shane remained standing with the help of his cane. “You’ve got this.”
She shook her head. The tears had already begun to spill.
“Lauren, look at me,” he said, and didn’t continue until her eyes met his. “You’re the strongest person I know. You can handle whatever that letter says.”
She took a deep breath and released it through pursed lips, then unfolded the letter and read it aloud.
Dear baby girl,
It’s me, your mama. I bet you didn’t even think you had a mama, but here’s this letter, letting you know you do.
I drove up to New York yesterday. I was so excited to see you. It was going to be a surprise.
Your father said you weren’t home, that you didn’t live there anymore and that I wasn’t supposed to contact you out of the blue like this. He sent me away but said I could send you a letter, and he would decide later whether or not to give it to you.
I know I did many things wrong when you were little, and I deserved to have you taken away like you were. But, Lauren, I never stopped wishing things had been different, and I never stopped loving that sweet little girl I said goodbye to almost twenty-three years ago.
As much as I missed you, I stayed away out of fairness to your father, but I can’t stay away from you anymore. I need to see you one more time.
I’m including my number below. Please call me. Please give me a chance. I promise to explain everything.
XOX,
Mom
Lauren refolded the letter and put it back into the box. She knew she would read it again that night—several times at least as she tried to decipher new meaning with each iteration.
“So your father kept her away?” Shane summarized, and she realized then how much this was like the situation he faced himself with Rosie. “But I thought you were close. Why would he keep her from you like that?”
“I don’t know,” Lauren shook her head and focused on the rhythm of her heart to steady her breathing. “I don’t know, I don’t know…”
Now she was like Shane on the night his shed had caught fire, staring into the abyss—chanting the same sad words over and over, unable to look away as everything she’d once known went up in flames.
With a grunt of pain, Shane knelt down beside her chair. “Lauren, breathe.”
But her breaths came fast and shallow, as if her lungs were little more than burst balloons unable to hang onto the air. Her head spun even though the room remained still.
“Please, Lauren, breathe.” Shane placed a hand on her back and guided her breaths, patiently waiting until the beginnings of her panic attack receded.
“The worst is over,” he said, wiping a tear from her cheek. “Call her. See what she has to say. Find out the truth, just like you wanted.”
“But what if the truth is worse than the lies?” she asked, hardly recognizing her own voice as she did.
“That’s a risk we all have to take sometimes when things are important to us, but Lauren, you have nothing to lose and so much to gain. You have a mother!”
“But what if I…?” She choked on a sob, no longer having the strength she needed to fully ask any of the questions that swam frantically through her head.
“No more what ifs. The question you need to ask now is why? Only one person has those answers, and you’re holding her number right there in your hand.”
“I can’t do it, Shane. I’m not strong enough.”
“You are. So much more than you know, you are. You are strong, and kind, and have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. Lauren, you deserve to be happy. You deserve everything.”
Lauren felt her heart quicken again, but this time it wasn’t from her panic.
Shane felt it, too. She could tell by the way his breathing hitched and his eyelids drooped.
She gave him a small, sad smile, and he closed the distance between them, leaning over the armrest of the chair, not noticing or not caring about the pain he surely felt as he moved his body closer to hers.
When his lips met hers and the stubble on his cheeks tickled her chin, Lauren closed her eyes and let the rest of the world melt away.
In that moment, there was only Shane.
Only this.