I walked down the hallway carrying coffee and food. Real food. I stopped by this little hidden gem in town that looked like a greasy shit hole, but it had the best food in the world. Everything from breakfast to lunch, nothing for dinner because the old man that owned the business closed it up at three. On the dot. Even if someone was in line, this old bastard would flip the sign from open to closed and start shutting down the grills.

Rose met me in the hallway and I showed her my offerings.

Even at a distance she was something beautiful. The memories of she and I rushed through me like a river. It wasn’t like something I had hidden and tried to avoid.

She had some random zip up hoodie on and a pair of jeans. Her hair pulled back and not a touch of makeup on her face. She always hated herself when she had no makeup on. To me, that’s when she was most beautiful. Able to cut through the air and steal it all from me with ease.

“Thank you, Foster,” she said.

“No worries,” I said. “If there’s anything else I can do here…”

“No. You should be working. Right?”

“No.”

“No?” Rose asked. She raised an eyebrow.

She was judging me. She was worried about me.

I understood it. She had the right to do so.

“I’m fine, Rose,” I said. “I promise you. I’m not leaving here unless I’m going to get you something.”

Vivian then came over to us and reached for a coffee.

“Excuse me, miss,” I said. “That’s not your coffee.”

“What?”

“Oh, wait. Vivian? That’s really you?”

“What?” she asked again.

“Foster,” Rose whispered.

“Oh, it is you. I didn’t recognize you without all the makeup. Wow. Look at you.”

Vivian’s cheeks turned red. “You’re an asshole, Foster.”

“I know. Want something to eat?”

“No thanks, Kingsley,” Vivian said with a smirk.

She turned, whipping her hair around, hurrying away.

I smiled at Rose.

“You really had to do that?” Rose asked.

“I really did,” I said.

“I’m going to have to fix that.”

“I know,” I said. “I’ll make it up to you.”

Rose turned and I tossed the bag of food into a chair so I could grab her arm. I quickly put the remaining coffees down on a table between two chairs.

“Hey,” I whispered. “Are you okay?”

“What?”

“Come on, Slug. With everything.”

I saw her bottom lip quiver. She bit it, trying to be so strong. I think in some messed up way I made her this way. Made her strong. Made her able to hold back. But I also knew how to break her down.

Slowly, I reached with my other hand and took her hand. I interlocked our fingers. I squeezed three times. That used to mean I love you. When we were in bed, listening to the rain or the buzz of the air conditioner in summer. Right now it meant are you okay?

Rose shook her head and I pulled her close to me.

I wrapped my arm around her and felt her face against my chest. I figured she needed a moment to herself to cry. Vivian was older, but sometimes she was a pain in the ass. Worried about makeup, cute guys, and nothing too serious in life. That didn’t make her a bad person at all, just different to Rose.

When Rose took a deep breath, she backed away. She took her hand from mine and wiped the corners of her eyes.

“Jerk,” she whispered.

“Me?” I asked, laughing.

“Totally,” she said. “I didn’t want that.”

“You needed it.”

“Shut up, Foster.”

“Hey, can I see him?”

Rose nodded. “Yeah.”

I picked up the coffees and food again. I dropped everything off for the nurses to enjoy.

Walking side by side with Rose, my fingers kept moving, touching her hand. Wanting to hold her hand. My mind dared me to think about the last time we were together and what happened.

That wasn’t going to happen though. There was no going back. Not when it came to Rose.

I rubbed my jaw as she took me to the hospital room.

It was a bleak area in the hospital to be. Everyone in these rooms was literally fighting for their lives. You could feel it in the air.

When I got into the hospital room, I felt uneasy. I suddenly wanted a drink. I wanted that bottle of whiskey again and wanted to drown myself.

The first thing I heard were the beeps of machines.

Then I saw Frank.

He looked the same as always. Just a little less hair, and the hair he had had thinned out.

“Hey, Dad,” Rose said. “Someone wanted to visit you.”

Frank opened his eyes and turned his head. When he saw me, his eyes went wide. One of the machines started to beep faster.

“Frank,” I said.

“Foster,” he said. “Jesus Christ.”

“Yeah,” I said. “How are you?”

“Wonderful,” Frank said. “Taking a few days’ rest.”

He smiled.

It made me smile.

“Did the doctors come in yet?” Rose asked.

“Not yet,” Frank said. “I’m fine. When do I get out of here?”

Rose sighed. “It’s not that easy, Dad. You know that.”

“Eh, shit on that,” Frank said.

“Same old Frank,” I said.

Frank curled his lip. “Same old Foster. Just showing up whenever you want.”

“Dad…”

“No, he’s right,” I said.

“What do we owe this visit to?” Frank asked. He looked at Rose. “Are you back with this fool?”

“No,” Rose said without hesitation again.

I nodded. “No, Frank. I’m playing gigs, giving lessons. Writing songs. Doing good. Rose is kicking ass, huh?”

“That she is,” Frank said. “Coffee. And here I thought when she started drinking coffee at ten years old it was going to come back and bite me in the ass.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Rose said. “Was Vivian in here?”

“Not since you two left.”

“Shoot,” Rose whispered. “I have to go find her.”

“Why? What happened?” Frank asked.

“Foster happened,” Rose said.

Frank chuckled.

Rose walked by me, but not before touching my shoulder as she did so. I turned my head and watched her leave the room. Damn, how could a woman make my heart jump like that.

When I looked back to the hospital bed, Frank looked pissed.

“What?” I asked.

“What did you do to Vivian?”

“I may have made a comment about her makeup.”

“Oh… that’s not good.”

“I know,” I said. “Can’t help myself.”

“And with Rose?”

“Frank…”

“Hey,” he said. He lifted a weak hand. “I may be in here, but I’ll still kick your ass, Foster.”

“I’m sorry time got the best of us,” I said. “All of us.”

“Don’t worry about that. You’re doing good?”

“I’m doing okay.”

“You’re doing better now that you have an excuse to see Rose, I bet.”

“Yeah,” I said.

Frank let out a sigh. “You know, any good father would have done anything to keep someone like you away from his daughter. I hope you know that.”

“You did your best.”

Frank laughed. Then he groaned and tried to touch his chest. “Shit, that hurts.”

“Take it easy, Frank. What’s with your heart giving out, huh?”

“Who knows,” he said. “You know, collapsing like that, I thought that was it. I wasn’t afraid though. I’d get to see my Kathryn again. But I’d leave behind my two girls.”

I swallowed hard. “No, Frank. You don’t get out that easily.”

“I can see that,” he said. “Foster.” He reached for my hand. I took his hand. He had zero strength. It crushed my heart. “What happened…”

“No,” I said. “Frank. No.”

“Yes. I thought I was doing right.”

“You did do right.”

“Then what happened to you?”

“I got lost,” I said. “That’s what I do.”

“You know, Foster, I wanted to do good for you…”

“You did, Frank. You did. And to answer your question about me being here? If something were to happen to you and I never got a chance to say thanks for what you did, I’d hate myself. So thank you for everything. You knew when to help. You knew when to yell. You know when to take a swing.”

“I did throw a punch a couple times, huh?”

“To be fair, I was drunk,” I said. “I was trying to ask Rose to marry me.”

“And you were standing under my bedroom window,” Frank said. “You moron.”

I smiled. “You hurried down those stairs and out of the house.” I moved a chair with my free hand and sat down. “You charged down the side of the house barefoot, in pajama pants. And you didn’t even say a word. You just threw a punch.”

“And I got you good,” he said.

“You did, Frank.”

We both started to laugh. Then Frank coughed. Machines beeped louder, faster. He clutched his chest again, clenching his teeth tightly as he shut his eyes.

“Shit,” I whispered. “You okay?”

He cleared his throat. “I’m good. Foster, you listen to me. Thanks for being here. You leave in the worst ways. In ways that only make sense to you. But you always manage to show up at the right time.”

“She deserves forever,” I said. “I’m not sure my forever is the one she should walk though.”

“Forever doesn’t exist, Foster. I know that. I lived it. You know it too. All we have is right now. There’s no in between. This second. Minute. Hour. Day. That’s what we have.”

I nodded. Halfway on his deathbed and Frank was still throwing that fatherly advice out there like it just came naturally to him.

Before I could respond, the door opened and in came Rose, Vivian, and two doctors.

I stood and gave Frank’s hand a squeeze before letting it go.

I turned and saw Rose a few inches from me. The doctor started to ask Frank how he was feeling.

But I was lost in Rose.

I caught her hand again. I gritted my teeth. I was unable to talk. I felt a lump rising up in the back of my throat.

Goddammit…

Rose half smiled.

I squeezed her hand three times.

And I knew exactly what I wanted it to mean.