CHAPTER SEVEN

Olivia spent the entire drive nervously watching Nate. He had refused to let her drive, saying that concentrating on driving would keep his mind off what was happening. Parkview was an hour drive from the city, but they stopped at Nate’s place first so he could grab some things. Olivia’s bags were still in his car, so she helped him pack.

“I should take a suit, right? I mean, for the funeral.” He stared into his closet, looking lost. Olivia just wanted to hug him, but there wasn’t time for that.

“Why don’t you go change and I’ll finish packing for you?” She looked at the rumpled suit he was still wearing from D.C. “You can’t let you mother see you like that.”

“She would ask me if my dry cleaner went out of business,” Nate said with a wry smile.

Olivia handed him a pair of jeans. “Get dressed.”

She ended up grabbing a suit, the one she thought looked best on him. It was a morbid thing to pick out the suit your boyfriend would wear to his mother’s funeral, but Olivia didn’t want to make Nate do it. He had enough to worry about.

They drove straight to the hospital where his mother was being treated. Olivia asked for Loraine’s room number at reception and they took the elevator to the third floor. Nate had his hands shoved in his pockets and he was tapping his foot impatiently.

“Breathe, honey,” Olivia suggested.

He glanced at her, almost like he had forgotten she was there. “Thanks for coming with me, Liv.”

“You couldn’t have kept me away.” She wanted to take his hand, but he still had both of them shoved in his pockets. “Besides, I think your mother would want me here.”

“I think you’re right about that.” He gave her a crooked smile as the elevator doors opened. “Promise not to make fun of me if I cry like a baby?”

“Only if you promise the same to me.” Seeing Nate in such a vulnerable state was completely unnerving. Olivia had never seen him like this.

He held the elevator door open and she stepped onto the white linoleum floor. When Nate stepped up behind her, he grabbed her hand. “It’s this way,” he said confidently, heading to the right.

When they reached room 312, Nate froze in front of the door. His grip on Olivia’s hand tightened until it was almost painful. She said, “Do you want to go in alone?”

“No.” Nate’s head shook as he stared straight ahead. “I need you there.”

“Okay.” She waited patiently for him to move forward. He took a long, deep breath and stepped into the room.

Loraine Tucker lay motionless in the stiff hospital bed. She had seemingly a dozen tubes and wires connected to her body. A woman sat in a chair next to the bed, reading a magazine about the latest celebrity gossip. When Nate stepped close to the bed, she looked up.

“Nathaniel!” she said, leaping from the chair. She wrapped her meaty arms around him while he stood completely still at the foot of the bed. It wasn’t until she let him go that she noticed Olivia standing there. “Oh my.”

Nate said to Olivia, “This is my mother’s sister, Marge.”

“You must be Olivia,” Marge said, pulling Olivia against her large bosom. “Loraine talked about you all the time. Said you were the prettiest thing. She was right about that.”

“Thanks,” Olivia muttered. She was glad when Marge took a step back.

“Our Nate did pretty well for himself,” she said, appraising Olivia closer. “The two of you will have adorable children.”

“How is she?” Nate said, quickly changing the subject.

Marge sighed and shook her head. “It’s only a matter of time. I think she’s been waiting for you.”

Olivia’s heart ached as she watched Nate take his mother’s frail hand between his two strong ones. Marge wisely excused herself, claiming that she needed to run home and check on her dogs. Nate didn’t seem to notice that she had left. Olivia perched on the windowsill as she watched Nate work through a dozen emotions all at once.

Loraine Tucker had been an undeniable force in shaping the man that he had become. When his father died, after years of emotional and occasional physical abuse, Loraine had been the sole provider and caregiver for her son. Along the way, she battled intense psychological issues including depression and manic episodes. Nate had stuck by her through it all. He had spent his weekends in college visiting his mother rather than partying with friends. He had dropped everything to rush to his mother’s side even for the most trivial of requests.

This was the last time he would get to be there for his mother. Olivia couldn’t begin to imagine what he was feeling. She wished there was something she could say to ease his suffering, but she knew from experience that words wouldn’t help. Instead, she sat quietly while Nate was alone with his thoughts.

Eventually, the doctor came by to speak with him and Nate stepped into the hall, leaving Olivia alone with Loraine. She took his place by the bed and stared down at the woman she had come to love over the years. Even though Loraine was heavily medicated and likely couldn’t hear anything, Olivia began to speak.

“I’m sorry you weren’t given more time, Loraine,” Olivia said, taking her hand. It was surprisingly warm. “I wish that Nate could have you longer. He deserves to have his mother. I hope you know how much he loves you. You raised a remarkable man and I will forever be grateful to you for sharing him with me. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to love him as well as you did, but I promise I will try. I promise he’ll never be alone.”

Olivia could’ve sworn she felt Loraine’s hand tighten around hers. She was busy wiping away tears when Nate cleared his throat. One look in his eyes said that he had heard every word Olivia had said. “I promise. I’ll never leave you again.”

“I was never worried that you left me, Olivia. I was just worried that you wouldn’t come back to me.” His eyes drifted to where she was still holding Loraine’s hand. “I’m not worried about that anymore.”

“Good.” Olivia blinked several times until she could see him clearly. “I will always come back to you, Nate.”

It happened in an instant. One second, Olivia was sure that Loraine was with them as she held her hand and the next second, the heart monitor flat-lined and the alarm went off. Olivia jerked her hand away and stepped back from the bed. She worried that she had done something to set off the alarm, but the stricken look on Nate’s face betrayed reality. Loraine was gone.

With a DNR order in place, the nurses that entered the room did so calmly. They turned off the alarm and checked for vitals. Olivia moved next to Nate and took his hand. When she glanced at him, his eyes were straight ahead and his jaw was clenched. A few minutes later, it was over.

The next couple of days passed in a blur. Olivia helped Nate make arrangements and dig through Loraine’s paperwork for life insurance documents, bank records, and her will. The stress of it all made Olivia’s stomach flip and turn and she had trouble keeping down food. While her emotions were on full display, Nate remained stoic and unemotional. Olivia worried that he was shutting out his emotions to seem strong in front of her.

It wasn’t until the morning of the funeral, before the other guests had arrived, that his tough shell cracked. As he looked down at his mother, a single tear fell. When Olivia put her hand on his arm, he pulled her close and buried his face in her neck. She held him as his body shook and felt herself begin to cry. There was nothing harder than seeing the person she loved more than anything hurting so badly.

Olivia spent the day making herself as useful as possible. She stood diligently by Nate’s side throughout the service and helped play hostess at Loraine’s house afterward. As Nate exchanged pleasantries with family and friends, Olivia put out food and refilled drinks. When he was saying goodbye to the last guests, she cleaned the house and put all the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. As she turned it on, she looked up and found Nate standing in the doorway, staring at her.

“How are you doing?” she asked, noting how tired he looked. “It’s been a tough day.”

“For both of us,” he said, stepping into the room. “Thanks for everything you did today, Liv. I wouldn’t have made it through without you.”

“I think you would have, and you don’t have to thank me. It was the least I could do after everything you’ve done for me.” She finished drying her hands on a towel and then placed it on the counter. “You should get some rest, darling. I’ll finish cleaning up.”

Nate continued to stare at her and it was clear that something other than his mother’s death was bothering him. “I’ve been going through the sympathy cards people have sent. One of them wasn’t a condolence.”

“Okay… what does that mean?” Olivia felt a chill run through her body.

“Come see for yourself.” Nate left the kitchen and Olivia followed. On the coffee table, a dozen open envelopes and cards were spread out. In the middle of it all was a black and white photograph.

Olivia studied the picture without touching it. It had been taken the day before as Olivia and Nate were entering Loraine’s house. They had just gotten back from dropping off Loraine’s burial clothes at the funeral home and Olivia had stopped Nate at the door to give him a hug. Whomever had taken the picture couldn’t have been more than a few yards away.

“Did he follow us here?” Olivia said, feeling stunned. Her stalker had completely slipped her mind the last couple of days.

“There’s a message on the back,” Nate said, catching her hand as she reached for the photo. “Don’t touch it. We need to test it for prints.”

“What does it say?”

“I’m always watching.” Nate’s jaw worked back and forth. “He was right outside this house and I was too distracted to realize it.”

It was typical Nate– blaming himself for being too preoccupied by his mother’s death. He wasn’t capable of being selfish for even a moment.

“Nate, you had good reason to be distracted.” Olivia knew that in between the many activities they’d been carrying out, Nate had been sneaking in phone calls to Vince. It hurt her to know that Nate couldn’t spend even a day just focusing on his grief. He definitely wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight after receiving yet another threat from the stalker. “Let’s just leave all this until morning. We could both use some rest.”

“I really should check in with Vince,” Nate said unconvincingly. He looked even more tired than he had just minutes earlier.

“There’s nothing you can do from here anyway, Nate.” She put a hand on his chest to push him away from the table. “Life will still be there in the morning.”

Nate smiled weakly. “Ain’t that the truth.”

“Come on. I’ll even let you be the big spoon tonight.” Olivia pulled him out of the room and was relieved when he didn’t resist.

After hours of attempting to sleep, both of them gave up and sat in bed watching late night television. Nate twirled Olivia’s hair through his fingers as he stared blankly at the screen. He didn’t laugh at a single joke.

“What are you worrying about now?” she asked, swinging her legs over his lap as she turned to look at him.

“I’m thinking I might keep the house,” he said. “Do you think that’s crazy?”

“Crazy? Of course not. But we live in Chicago, Nate.” Olivia felt silly pointing out the obvious. While her teaching job wouldn’t keep her from moving, Nate’s job definitely would. He couldn’t be a Chicago detective while living an hour away.

He smiled at her. “Yes, I’m aware of that, love. I was thinking it could be our summer house or something. There’s the lake out back and all the summer events. We could get a boat. When we have kids, they would have a yard to play in.”

“Kids?” She widened her eyes dramatically. “We aren’t even married yet, Nater.”

“We could be,” he said quietly. “If that’s all that’s stopping us…”

“You really think having a kid is the best decision right now?” Olivia said, thinking about the picture still sitting on the coffee table.

He frowned. “Maybe not.”

Olivia winced at the pained expression on his face. “Hey, I’m not saying no forever. Nothing would make me happier than having a little Nate with you.”

“A boy, huh?” His smile returned. “I think I might prefer a little Olivia.”

“No way. If we have a daughter, she’ll worship you and you’ll be wrapped around her finger. I’m not sharing you with any other girl.” Olivia pulled him to her for a long kiss. “You are all mine, Nathaniel Tucker.”

“Damn straight,” he said, looking deep into her eyes.