It was only the end of May, but it was already uncomfortably hot in Washington D.C. Olivia fanned herself with a newspaper as she took her coffee to a seat outside the café. She had been in the District for five months but on days like this, she especially missed Chicago. After taking a long sip of her cold brew, she unfolded the paper and began to read.

When her phone rang, she stared for a long time at the name on the screen. Nate. There used to be a time when she would never think about avoiding a call from him, but a lot had changed in the last six months. She was about to ignore the call when a sudden rush ran through her body. Olivia snatched the phone and answered it.

“Nate.”

“Hey. Liv.” His voice was so familiar it made Olivia’s heart ache. She missed him. “You got a minute to talk?”

“Sure.” It was a work day and she could picture Nate at his desk, talking low so his partner wouldn’t overhear his conversation.

Nate hesitated. “Are you free right now?”

“I said I could talk,” she said with a hint of agitation. Was Nate trying to pick a fight?

“I mean, do you have time to meet up. I’m in town.”

Now it was Olivia’s turn to hesitate. Her instinct was to instantly say yes. She wanted to see Nate more than anything. But it wasn’t that easy. “Where do you want to meet?”

“I’ll come to you. Just tell me where.” There was a desperation around his words that twisted her stomach. Did he want to see Olivia as badly as she wanted to see him, or was there another reason he needed to see her so urgently.

“I’m at the Capital Café on I Street,” she said, giving in to her curiosity.

“I know the place. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” He hung up before she could say goodbye, probably because he was still reeling from their last goodbye.

While she waited for Nick to arrive, Olivia replayed over and over their last night together. It had been almost three months since that night and they had only talked on the phone a couple of times since then.  For twelve years, hardly a day had passed that she hadn’t talked to Nate. Now, he was practically a stranger to her.

Olivia felt his presence when he was still several yards away from her table. He walked with his shoulders back, tailored suit hanging perfectly on his strong frame. His dark hair was neatly trimmed and he wore a pair of sunglasses over his mesmerizing eyes. Oh, how Olivia wanted to look into those eyes. She noticed that several women on the street were staring as he passed and she couldn’t blame them. Nate was oblivious to all of it as usual.

“Olivia.” He stopped next to Olivia’s table and the edge of his lips twitched upward. He was fighting an involuntary smile, as was she. “Thanks for agreeing to meet.”

“Of course. Please, sit.” She hated how stiff her voice sounded. More than anything, she wanted to spring from her chair and throw her arms around him, but that wasn’t her right anymore. She was the reason they were speaking so formally.

Nate folded his body into the chair across from her. “You look well,” he said.

“So do you.” She nodded to the table. “I ordered you a coffee.”

“Thanks.” He unbuttoned his suit jacket and his holstered gun flashed briefly.

“What brings you to town?” she asked.

“Work. I’ve been spending the week helping the local police investigate a string of abductions. My work last year is very transferable.” He reached for his coffee, asking cautiously, “How is your job?”

“Over. Last week was the end of the seminar.” Olivia had accepted a job teaching at the FBI as a special instructor. Her research into serial killers and behavior psychology had caught the attention of the FBI and in January, she had agreed to a five-month position in D.C. “I’ll be back in Chicago next week.”

“Chicago will be glad to have you back,” he said with the faintest of smiles.

Olivia’s breath caught in her throat. A faint smile from Nate was more powerful than the strongest drug. “I was going to call you when I got back.”

“I saved you a call.” He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. “I’m going to cut to the chase because I don’t want to ruin your whole day.”

“Okay.” Olivia tried not to let her disappointment show. She had been enjoying the small talk, however awkward it had been.

“My mother is dying. Lung cancer.” He took his sunglasses off and placed them on the table and Olivia saw worry lines in the corner that she didn’t remember. “We found out a few months ago and it has progressed quickly. She doesn’t have much time left.”

“Oh, Nate. I’m so sorry.” Olivia’s instincts took over and she reached out and took Nate’s hand. When he didn’t pull it away, she held it tighter. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I didn’t want to bother you.” His blue eyes were nearly silver in the sunlight. “This all happened right after… the last time I was in D.C.”

Right after they broke up, Olivia corrected him in her head. “How are you doing?”

“I need a favor,” he said, dodging the question. “I never told her about us. She thinks we’re still together and she’s been asking to see you. She loves you like a daughter and I know how much it would mean to her. But I also know I don’t have the right to ask you that. You don’t owe me anything.”

“Nate, stop. Of course, I will do it.” Olivia couldn’t disagree with him more. She owed him everything. “I love your mother.”

He squeezed her hand and then pulled his away. “I’ll let you get back to your day. Just give me a call whenever you get back to the city and we can work out arrangements.”

Olivia nodded, a pit of emptiness returning to her chest. A few minutes with Nate wasn’t enough. She watched him push back his chair and slowly stand, slipping his sunglasses back into place.

“Take care, Liv.”

“You, too.” She swallowed hard as a wave of emotion threatened to spill out. As Nate walked away, a tidal wave of regret overtook her. “Nate, wait.”

He turned abruptly, his face an unreadable mask.

“Do you want to, maybe, go for a walk?” she said when nothing better came to mind. Olivia was desperate for any reason to spend more time with him. Against her better judgment, she added, “I’ve missed being with you.”

She couldn’t see his eyes as he stared at her, but she could see her own reflection in his sunglasses and her desperation was obvious.

“I’ve got some time,” he said after a moment. “Let’s take a walk.”

His words were lacking warmth, but Olivia felt better just hearing him agree to spend more time with her. She had been certain he was going to reject her suggestion.

They started their walk in silence, something that used to feel comfortable but now only highlighted the distance between them.

“This is weird, isn’t it?” Olivia finally said when she couldn’t take it any longer.

“A little,” Nate said with a dry laugh. Olivia had missed that laugh. “I’m sorry, I just really don’t know what to say.”

“Let’s start with something safe,” she suggested, leading them through a small park. “How is Vince?”

Nate laughed again. “You think Vince is a safe topic? Clearly you haven’t heard that he’s engaged.”

“No!” Olivia groaned. Vince’s current girlfriend was less than an ideal match for him. Natasha was rude and spoiled. “How could you let him do that?”

“Me?” Nate’s jaw dropped. “How am I getting blamed for this?”

“Vince looks up to you, Nater. You should have given him your honest opinion on Natasha.” Olivia had been responding by habit and it was only after-the-fact that she realized she had called Nate by her old, affectionate nickname for him. She chose to ignore it. “Is he at least happy?”

Nate shrugged. “How would I know? I don’t even remember what’s it feels like to be happy, so I wouldn’t expect to recognize the signs.”

Olivia sucked in a sharp breath. “Nate.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.” He stopped walking and sighed. “This is hard, Liv. Being around you and not being with you… I hate it.”

“I know. Me too,” Olivia said, aching at the sight of Nate looking so upset. “But we both agreed that we needed some time apart.”

“When I agreed to that I was thinking a couple of weeks, Liv. Not months. I thought you just needed some space to figure things out. I never thought it would be a permanent thing.” His hands were clenched into fists at his sides. “Don’t you miss us at all?”

She could feel the wave of emotion coming back, crashing hard inside her. “Of course, I do, Nate. I love you. That hasn’t changed.”

“You love me, you just don’t want to be with me.” He shook his head furiously. “You’re being selfish. You don’t even care how much this has hurt me.”

“Maybe I am being selfish.” Olivia didn’t back down even though tears were pooling in her eyes. “But I haven’t slept more than a couple of hours since that night. I can barely keep food down. I reach for my phone a hundred times a day wanting to call you. Don’t you dare tell me that I don’t care about you.”

Nate took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Just tell me what to do, Liv. I’ll do anything to make things right between us.”

“It’s not that easy,” she said, thinking about all that had happened in their relationship. “You hurt me, Nate. I know that you were only doing what you thought was right, but it broke my heart. It ruined my family.”

“I didn’t have a choice,” he said firmly. It wasn’t the first or even tenth time they’d had this argument.

Olivia ran a hand through her hair, struggling to keep herself from breaking down again. “Can we just start over? I really don’t want to fight with you anymore.”

“I’ve been in love with you for twelve years, Liv. How do I ignore that and start over?” His voice cracked and Olivia wanted badly to reach for him.

“We don’t have to start all the way over. Let’s just go back a few months. Maybe to that night on the couch at my place.” She smiled at the memory of their first time together.

Nate wore an identical smile. “Too bad that couch is all the way in Chicago.”

“I know of one that will work just as well and it’s only three blocks away.” Olivia was surprised by her boldness, but she didn’t regret her offer. Not being with Nate for three months had been torture.

“We haven’t resolved anything,” Nate said cautiously, but he took a step toward her.

“Are you saying no?” she challenged. Olivia had known him long enough that she could read his body language without trying. He wasn’t going to say no.

“Three blocks?” he asked, lips turning up in the smile that Olivia loved best. Her heart fluttered in a way she hadn’t felt in months, just the way it had that night on the couch. Olivia nodded and he said, “Let’s go.”