Logan

 

They had Saul. He was the one person that was a part of my real family, he’d taken the role of Elijah after they’d killed him. And now he was taken hostage. Not them, I was wrong. Her. May. I wasn’t sure how she’d managed, if anyone was street smart it was Saul. He’d taught me everything I knew, and now she had him. She really must have done her homework. It wasn’t easy getting a hold of any of the bikers without creating an immediate, full on war.

 

I was sick with dread. What if she hurt him? What if she killed him? She knew what it would do to me if I lost Saul, too. She knew it would kill me. It would be more satisfying to her to see me suffer through another loss like that than just to kill me.

 

I had to get back home and find him. We drove through the night to get back. I was frantic, my mind running through every option and possibility. When they’d come to tell me something was wrong with Saul, I should have known what it was. I should have known by the looks on their faces the moment I’d walked into the room.

 

I was scared for Selena, too. May was getting her claws in every person I cared for, everyone in my life who meant something to me. I’d asked Mitchell to look after her because I didn’t trust she would be safe anywhere without a flesh and blood bodyguard who knew how to fight and how to smell danger, who knew what he was doing.

 

And I needed them close so I could reach them if something went wrong. So I wouldn’t be too far for her and it would be too late. If I lost Saul or Selena, I might as well be dead.

 

May knew all the heads of all the gangs who were against us. We’d worked our asses off to start over but there were those who couldn’t drop a grudge and there were those who said our trying to sort things out for ourselves made us cowards. They could call me whatever the hell they wanted as long as they left my people alone. They wanted a war – they got one. Saul was my man and he was not going to die at their hands. Not unless I died, too, and if I died I was going to take them all with me.

 

I was going to go in there yippee-ki-yay style.

 

I’d just proposed to Selena, dammit. I’d just offered her a life where I wanted to be done with all this, where I could live in peace without worrying about everyone and everything. I had been yanked back into this so quickly it was impossible to think how I would be able to make a life for her that was worth living. This needed to end once and for all so I could give her the life she deserved, so I could settle down and relax for a change.

 

So I could get to a point where I forgot about my path and the people in it, where I could stop letting it define who I had become and dictate my actions. I needed to get away from all this shit.

 

By the time we finally reached the clubhouse I had a plan of action. I had an idea of what I wanted to do, how I was going to approach this. First, I needed to make sure Selena was still okay. I phoned her.

 

“Are you all right?”

 

They were still in the car; they’d left a lot later than I had and they were driving slower, Mitchell sticking to the speed limit.

 

“I’m okay. I’m going to see you again, right?” Her voice was riddled with fear.

 

“I’m going to fix this, baby, and then it’ll just be me and you, forever.”

 

“Promise me you’ll come back to me.”

 

Those words broke my heart. I knew what she was thinking about. About Elijah and my parents. I knew how scared she was. I wasn’t going to admit I was scared, too. “I’ll come back to you. I promise. And then we’ll run away and make a life together.

 

“I love you.”

 

The words were filled with emotion, but not the kind I’d wanted. I didn’t want her to say I love you and make it sound like goodbye. “I’m coming back, Selena.” I needed her to know how serious this was.

 

When I hung up, I walked to the closet in the office at the club and unlocked it. We hadn’t opened it in years, but desperate times called for desperate measures. The back of the closet was lined with guns, all sorts of semi-automatics, a terrorist’s wet dream. There were grenades, dynamite, handguns and packets of bullets. I looked at the ammo for a while, and then started strapping up.

 

I’d promised Selena I would be safe and I didn’t want to lie to her, but this was bigger than me. This was about more than just my life, and if it came down to Saul’s life or mine, it would be mine. I wanted him to live. I couldn’t carry on without him. I didn’t want to.

 

But that wasn’t all I was going to do. This wasn’t a suicide mission. I made a call to some contacts who knew what they were doing, asking them to get a hold of certain people. After that I phoned my personal banker. She was up all hours of the night for me sometimes, but I paid her for it. If May wanted a war, she was going to get one.