Snow was starting to fall with some force when Deva parked her car in front of the building housing the Magnus, Christiani & Zayne law firm. She had lost some time in traffic and wanted to get there before those assholes left for the day.
Leaving her car in a no parking zone, she dashed in. In the huge lobby, she barely slowed down to check the floor before skidding to a halt before the elevators.
They had the entire fifteenth floor, and when the elevator doors opened, Deva zeroed in on a very blond, Barbie-like receptionist. Classic!
Smashing the letter on the desk in front of Blondie, Deva waited for the dumb blonde to look at her.
“I want to talk to the person in charge of my account. Now!”
The poor woman blinked her baby blues at her a few times before finally looking at the paper.
“You want to consult with one of our experts?”
“No! I want to meet the person who sent me that letter. Is that too complicated for you to understand?”
“No, ma’am. Let me check the account number.”
Deva ground her teeth as the woman tapped her electric blue lacquered nails on the keyboard.
“Oh, I can find your account, but it’s not linked to anyone of our people in particular.”
It was the final straw, and Deva lost it. “Are you kidding me? I asked a simple question. Who sent me this goddamn letter!”
“I did, solnyshka.”
Deva tried to swallow a whimper of anguish at hearing that familiar voice behind her. Taking a deep breath, she clenched her fists and schooled her face before pivoting. Nothing really helped when she saw Aleksei standing there in a charcoal gray three-piece suit that fitted his muscled fighters body like a glove. The cobalt blue shirt and tie set off his mercury colored eyes. His inky-black hair was slicked back. And there she stood, frozen, impossible for her to deny the pull. Fighting it as much as she wanted, it was there, alive and consuming her. But she wasn’t about to revisit her old heartbreak. Instead, she forced her mind to focus on what brought her there in the first place and was grateful when anger flooded her lust.
“Don’t call me that. Ever again! And I want to know what this is all about.” She brandished the letter under his nose.
Unfazed, Aleksei gestured toward the hallway. “Let’s discuss it in my office.”
Bad, bad idea, she thought. Being alone with the man was the last thing she wanted, but Deva wasn’t about to have an argument in front of the baby-doll receptionist.
Aleksei’s office had one wall entirely made of windows, offering a breathtaking view of the city slowly being veiled with swirling snow. She entered and looked around, definitely impressed. Gerasim had been right when he’d told her his nephew had a successful career. And when she looked at him, with his expensive suit, and the tattoos on his neck and on his wrists and hands, she didn’t know if he looked more dangerous now or when he was fighting in a cage.
“May I take your coat?”
“You are about to take everything else I own, why wouldn’t I give you my coat too?”
Now hot as hell, she started to unzip her coat while trying to pull her scarf off. Nervousness, anger, and clumsiness turned her scarf into a snake, almost strangling her while she ran the zipper onto the red wool, jamming it.
Deva fought for a while, not looking at him until a shadow blocked the light.
“Let me help, Deva.”
“No!” It was childish, but she knew that if he reached for her, her heart would open up and bleed like a torrent again. The walls she had built around herself were fragile, ready to crumble, and they needed distance, protection.
Instead, she leaned forward and pushed the coat and scarf over her head like a sweater, letting everything plop on the floor in a heap of red.
A little out of breath, she straightened up, running her hands through her crackling hair and pulling at her sweater. Once the static settled, Deva looked back at Aleksei. He still stood no more than six feet away. Without a word, he crouched down, picked up her discarded coat and hung it on a hanger behind the door.
“Red suits you, Deva. Especially on your cheeks.”
Oh no, he didn’t just go there! “Stop this garbage. What is going on? Why did I receive this letter? I have paid everything that I could pay, I didn’t take any of the money my father left me. Do you think that if I had any sort of money, I wouldn’t use it? Get a nicer couch, instead of having one with springs sticking out and creepy crawlies lurking inside?”
Aleksei ignored her outburst and turned to look at a file on his desk. “Some new information popped up. That’s why a new audit is required.”
“What information?”
“This time, your father’s inheritance raised a flag.”
It was like talking to a wall. “What inheritance? I didn’t keep any of it!”
“We believe that’s inaccurate.” Shocked and jaw gaping, she looked at him as he shuffled through some papers before taking picking one up. The whole situation was so surreal, Deva thought, feeling like she was deep in some sort of nightmare.
“Two million dollars were found in various offshore accounts. Not very well hidden if you want my opinion.”
“I don’t want your opinion. I want you to tell me where I have to sign so this whole thing ends, and I can go home.”
“I fear it’s not that simple. If two million were found, there is potentially more out there. And it is feared that you may use this money to fund illegal activities.”
“Oh, come on! You know I have nothing to do with the Dark Blood Rows anymore. They have elected a new president, and so far, I haven’t been contacted by any of them.”
“Is that right? But the potentially illegal activities I’m referring to are related to the Storm Wayfarers and Damon Evans.”
“Related?”
Letting go of the paper, Aleksei half sat on his desk, arms crossed. “So much money in the hands of an MC is something that can worry the authorities. That’s my duty to make sure it doesn’t happen.”
Deva was about to respond when something caught her attention, a glint. Calming down, she frowned, and crossed her arms, mirroring his posture. Wheels were spinning wildly in her head, processing that new piece of information.
“Why am I here? To confirm that I’m hiding money my father potentially left me? I’ll sign anything to relinquish any rights to any money you may or may not find, and feel free to dig around my financials at your leisure. You’ll see that I didn’t go into physical therapy for the money, unlike your trade, it seems. And as for my personal relationships with the people around me, unless I do something unlawful, you and your slithery friends can go fuck yourselves.”
Deva turned to grab her coat, having had enough of it all, and unable to look at Aleksei, so cold and calculating, accusing her of whatever things he had conjured up in his head. Maybe the only advantage of this meeting was that it gave her the confirmation that although she had fallen in love with a man who was no better than her father, that love wasn’t returned. Again. A man who would never trust her as she needed him to. And knowing that, there would never be anything between them.
A hand on the door knob, Deva turned it, only to have it slammed closed again with violence. Before she could react, her body was plastered against the door.
“I’m to go fuck myself, am I? While you fuck Evans?”
His breathy snarl in her ear lit out a fire in her belly, making her remember other times when his body wasn’t encased in an amazing suit when he wasn’t Aleksei, but Alyosha. She had to get out if she wanted to survive. To save what was left of her pride and her sanity.
Pushing against the almost unmovable wall of muscles, she loosened his grasp enough to turn and face him.
“You think I betrayed you, so why would you care who’s in my bed?”
His gaze seared her, his features so ferocious, she wondered for a moment if he was about to squash her like a bug. So tall, untamed, barely contained in this civilized facade. His stormy eyes were a dead giveaway. Just as fear was about to seize her, Aleksei, with arms straining on either side of her, bent and leaned toward her until his head was buried in the crook of her neck, inhaling deep. Deva bit back a curse.
Once more, she put both her hands on his chest to push him off, but this time again, he didn’t yield an inch. The image of a taser popped into her mind.
“Aleksei, let me go.”
When he retreated slightly, his lips skimmed her ear lobe. His voice was raspy, filled with dark promises and laced heavily with his Russian accent. A sign that he wasn’t as cold as he appeared.
“I can’t, Deva. I can’t let you go. Thinking I would never feel your warmth again, be filled with your scent, it’s killing me. Tell me that you used me, that you lied to me, that you are a thief and fucked Evans. Tell me so what I feel for you can die.”
His lips whispered against her cheek. The tender touch filled her eyes with tears as he continued talking.
“Tell me I imagined you saying you loved me, and that what followed was only a nightmare. That the gift you gave me, offering me the chance to bury my mother, was only another trick of yours.”
Deva didn’t know what to do. She felt raw, exposed, and vulnerable. If she uncovered what was left of her one more time, and was turned away, she would disintegrate.
Was she strong enough to take another leap of faith? Was she stronger than him?
With trembling hands, she framed his face, looking deep into those swirling pools of gray, gaining courage she didn’t know she had.
“The reason I helped Lazarus to uncover Finch’s plan and came back to Chicago, meant that I got close to you. The alliance with Damon Evans was a necessary evil. He saved my life, and I was in debt to him. I had to help him in return.”
Aleksei’s face darkened, but he didn’t pull away.
“Nothing happened with Damon. It was all fake. But what I felt for you, how it developed, how important you became to me, it’s all my heart. I should have knocked some sense into you when you reacted so badly to my deal with Damon. How many times do you think I’ve ever said those words to a single living soul? Never! You assumed things, awful things, without even giving me a chance to explain. Especially when I had confessed my feelings for you. I loved you. What else was there to doubt or understand?”
Exhaling, Aleksei dropped his head, defeated. “You used the past tense. Have I smothered the love you had for me?”
Deva let her arms drop to her side. “I will love you forever. I just wish you could have loved me in return.”
His entire body shivered violently before he gradually lifted his head.
“Did you ever find out what solnyshka means?”
Deva felt disoriented for a moment at his question, but she wrapped her mind around the words. “I don’t have a clue how to write it. And as sometimes you made it sound like an insult, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what it meant.”
It was his turn to cup her cheeks, with his rough fingers tracing weird patterns over her skin.
“It means, ‘little sun’; my little sun. Because it’s how I saw you when you first came to the gym. Light was pouring behind you, like a halo. And in that instant, you fascinated me. My hands itched to touch your hair. I’d never felt like that before, and it terrified me.”
And he did exactly that, twirling a curl or two with his fingers, entranced. Deva couldn’t move.
“My entire life, I fought shadows and lies. And when I saw you, I found myself hoping... I wanted your light, Deva. I craved it to the point where I couldn’t breathe. I wanted you, I needed you. And that night, when you told me you loved me... I knew I felt as deeply too. Irrevocably. I love you. If you’ll have me.”
Deva stared at Aleksei, flooded by so many strong emotions, she couldn’t respond. While he waited, Aleksei appeared so tense, it made her shake her head in amazement. Would he always be that intense? Most probably, but only with her, and in the cage. And who was she to judge when her feelings were just as intense as his.
Aleksei must have misinterpreted her gesture for rejection, his emotions swiftly hiding behind his usual fierce mask, but not before Deva saw devastating pain. Ever so slowly, he started pushing away from her, as if the movement itself was the most strenuous effort he had done in his life. His fingers trailed in her hair, and as he was about to let his hand drop to his side, Deva took it in hers.
“If I tell you, what I truly feel for you, will you believe me this time? And most importantly, I want you to respect and honor my decision, Aleksei. No more letters or threats. Can you do this one thing for me?”
He nodded, and Deva felt almost guilty for doing it, but he had to see her for who she really was.
“It’s too late.”
Even if the man before her didn’t move an inch, she knew him enough to feel the misery pulsing through his entire body.
“It’s too late, Aleksei because when I fell in love with you, there was no going back for me. And it never will.”
It took a moment for him to digest the words, and Deva knew the precise moment when he did. His hand squeezed hers to the point of pain before he pushed her against the door and kissed her.
Elation flowed through her veins, and Deva fisted his black hair as hard as he was gripping her waist, holding her so tight against him until there was no telling where his body began and where hers ended.
When Aleksei finally resurfaced for air, he cupped the back of her head, breathing hard as if he had been running a mile a minute. Eye to eye, their shared breath mingling, he finally spoke again, his tone between relief and threat.
“I think I aged a century, Deva. Never do that to me again.”
Deva smiled and poked his muscled chest. “Well, mister, you’ll have to get used to it. So far, you’ve seen me all serious and solemn, but I’m quite quirky in real life.”
Aleksei arched an eyebrow in disbelief. “Quirky?”
Deva nodded. “Yes. And stubborn, and difficult. I love to laugh and be silly sometimes. I’m bad at housework, and I often forget to pay my bills. Or put gas in my car.”
Aleksei kept touching her but this time grinned. “Why are you telling me that?”
Deva cupped his face. “To tell you that I’m no prize. That I have faults and quirks that may or may not annoy you. I’m not complicated, but I have non-negotiables in my life. All that comes with me.”
“And what are they? Your non-negotiables?” He bit his fascinating lips, but Deva wasn’t finished yet and unwilling to be distracted.
“I can’t and never will agree to be tied to any organization, syndicate, mob, or MC. I agreed to help Damon, but only so balance could be restored. I know I cannot completely step out of that world, but I’m against any form of permanent alliance. If your aim is the Bratva, we end here.”
Aleksei nodded. “What else?”
“I may continue to help Beatrice find Jamieson Finch.”
As Aleksei growled, Deva gently put her fingertips on his lips. He nipped teasingly, but she shook her head.
“I won’t put myself in danger, but don’t ask me to stay on the sidelines when someone may threaten the man I love again. Try to tell me you wouldn’t do the same.”
He didn’t nod this time, lifting his chin, assessing what she was saying. “And what else?”
Deva sighed, as if in pain. “I need a new couch.”
Aleksei blinked several times, as if not quite understanding the words before he laughed. If Deva hadn’t already been head over heels for him, she would have been done right there.
“I have a couch. A big one.”
Deva pouted. “But it’s at your place.”
The Russian seemed to think about that. “Are they all your non-negotiables, Deva?”
“Pretty much, but I’ll fill you in along the way if others pop up.”
“Well, if we are negotiating, I would like to revisit the rejection of ‘permanent alliances’ clause.”
Deva’s eyes darkened, determination resurfacing. “I told you, I won’t bind myself to the Bratva, that’s out of the…”
“And what about me, solnyshka? What about binding yourself to me?”
If it was possible, Deva’s heart expanded in her chest. This man was everything, and more.
“I don’t know. I’ve never been with an accountant before. I’m told they are very boring, and bad in bed.”
His eyebrow shot up, but the predatory gleam was quickly back. “Well, it seems that I’ll have to redeem the reputation of all accountants. And I think it would be a full-time job. That’s why you must move in with me.”
The man could be as subtle as he was stubborn. “Let’s start with a weekend. If you survive my lack of cleaning skills, chips on your couch, and my weekend TV marathons. Then maybe we’ll talk.”
“And what if you can’t survive me?”
He might be teasing, but she knew there was a tiny bit of truth behind the words. Survivor and fighter, a wounded soul. So similar to herself. They would have to learn to navigate together, and it wouldn’t be an easy ride.
“I think I’ve survived your worst, Voronov. And I’m tough. I have serious doubts about you though.”
Aleksei kissed her lips before offering her a wicked smile. “We will talk then. And you’ll stay for more than a weekend. Be sure of it.”
Deva smiled back at him, hesitant about what she was about to say next.
“I have another question, what does ‘liubmaya’ means?”
The face she adored looked at her in such a way, her breath caught. “Lyubimaya. It’s an endearment. It means ‘my love’.”
Deva had suspected as much. Hoped as much. And that little word gave her the strength to take yet another leap. To trust him with her heart once more.
“Ya lyublyu tyebya, Alyosha.”
Aleksei frowned, his silver gaze wavering for a second before he took her in a mighty bear hug. His voice was raw and filled with the same emotion she felt in her soul.
“Oh, my Deva. We must work on your accent. And I love you, too.”