Deep in a cocoon of a white comforter and pillows, Deva was way too hot now, surrounded by Aleksei’s body, but she didn’t care. It was more due to the fact that, limp as a noodle, she didn’t have the strength to push the covers away.
“Stop squirming, Deva.”
The deep rumble and slightly annoyed tone from Aleksei made her giggle.
“You are a damn furnace! I’m melting here.”
In a swift movement, he grumbled and pushed the cover away, so their naked bodies were now exposed. And she wasn’t even feeling the cool air!
“Is it a Russian thing to generate so much heat? To fend off the cold Siberian nights?”
Again, he rumbled, and despite her discomfort, she snuggled even closer to him. Aleksei shifted to his back and draped her over him. At least now she felt more comfortable.
“I don’t have a clue. I’ve never slept with a Russian man before.”
Deva blinked and burst out laughing. “Well, at least we have similar experiences in the matter. And I don’t care, this feels nice.”
“Yeah, very nice. And new.”
His voice was so low, she almost didn’t hear the last few words. “New? Please tell me you weren’t a virgin! My heart wouldn’t take it!” When his chest shook, she rubbed her cheek against it. This playful mood moved her somehow.
“Nyet. And I wouldn’t recommend me as a virgin. Let’s just say that practice makes perfect.”
“Whoa, now I don’t know if I want to learn more or just put my hands over my ears.”
“I think option two would be your best choice.”
“I agree. I’ll just pretend you’re a sex god and be done with it.”
More rumbles. More giggles. “I like the nickname. Sex god. Please use it whenever you want, especially when there are a lot of people around.”
“That nickname would beat Alek anytime.”
Deva felt him hesitate a moment. “Please don’t use that nickname for me.”
Well, the mood had frosted over in a matter of seconds. So much so, that worried, Deva pushed herself up so she could look at his face.
“Did I say something wrong?”
He shook his head. “No, you couldn’t have known. The name Alek bears bad memories, that’s all.”
“What kind of memories?” Deva didn’t know why she pushed. She knew so little about that man, but she’d prefer that he tell her about his past, about who he was, by himself. He didn’t move, his gaze going to the ceiling and Deva internally slapped herself for breaking the mood. And what for? What they had was temporary anyway.
“For a long time, there was only my mother and me. I was so young, but when you are born in poverty, surrounded by violence, you grow up fast and understand realities even faster. I always knew that my mother was a whore. Even before I knew the word or what it entailed. Men came into her room and left, one after the other. And the more they came, the sadder my mother appeared to me.”
“What was her name?”
Still not looking at her, she saw his face relax a bit. “Zoya. It was her real name, not the name she used for work. And she had the softest voice. Her touch was kind. And despite everything else, the hunger and the cold, I always knew she loved me, that she was ready to do the worst thing in the world to keep me safe.”
He swallowed reflexively, and even though his voice hadn’t changed, she could feel the pain that radiated from the memories. Before she could tell him that he could stop, he kept going.
“She wasn’t always a prostitute, Deva. One day, I discovered a small box with photographs in it. People I didn’t know, but they looked a little like me. Her parents, her family. Bit by bit, I could piece the information enough to know that her family disowned her when she got pregnant with me. Threw her out.”
Now it was hard for her to speak. “That’s awful. Why would they do that?”
Aleksei shook his head, and he gently covered her hand resting on his chest, idly tracing her fingers and the back of her hand.
“They were poor and very conservative. And in a town where tongues wagged, and reputations could mean a job or not, they condemned her weakness.”
Deva swallowed hard. “And it was Jamieson Finch who got her pregnant?”
He nodded. “I found out that information later. Much later. Finch came into town to buy one of the factories where my mother worked. She was young, incredibly beautiful, and naive. He abused her innocence, and when she went to him to tell him that she was pregnant and beg for his help, she couldn’t find him.”
“I’m so sorry, Aleksei.”
He took a deep breath before continuing. “That’s when she went to St. Petersburg to give birth to me. And when the little money she had left vanished, she started selling her body. As I grew up, people called me a bastard, and I couldn’t care less because my mother was more important than what those cowards could ever say about me. As I got older, I found ways to help her, by being a thief and a scavenger. When I returned with money or food, she always smiled at me, but I saw the sadness in her eyes. It was not the life she wanted for me. We survived until I was in my teens, and that’s when she fell sick. We didn’t have the money to see a doctor, but I did some research of my own. It was AIDS. Some fucked up client infected her.”
And now his voice hitched. Deva swallowed hard to push back the emotions, to be there for him. Gently she took his scarred hand and kissed it.
“And when not long after, she fell sick with pneumonia, I knew my time with her was coming to an end. I didn’t leave her side. I protected her, took care of her the best I could. I stashed food and weapons in our small apartment. I threatened the landlord to leave us alone. I think that the pain of leaving me to fend for myself was greater for her than her own sufferings. And I held her. It was the only thing I could do.”
Deva was now crying in silence. For the poor woman who loved her son above anything else. And for the little boy Aleksei had been, alone and scared, putting his mother at the center of his universe. When she looked up at Aleksei, she could see the tears streaming from his eyes as his voice continued, steady, his eyes still blindly fixing the ceiling.
“Until her last breath, she only thought about me. She said that she loved me, and how sorry she was that she couldn’t do more. She told me to survive, to make a life for myself. And her last word was her nickname for me. So soft, so low, I almost didn’t hear it. And she was gone.”
He swallowed again and coughed.
“I couldn’t even offer her a decent burial. It still haunts me to this day. I had to leave her body behind for the landlord to find. Soon after, I started to work for different small-time crooks. And they all called me Alek. I despised it. But I had to survive. I had promised her. So, I did. And when I finally found my place, I changed my last name for Voronov, as I couldn’t bear keeping the surname of a family who had abandoned a daughter in need. And I beat up whoever called me Alek. I was to be Aleksei from now on.”
And he turned to look at her, the pale gray of his eyes was diluted by unshed tears, and the determination that forged this man seeped through them. A determination she could understand so well.
“Why Voronov?”
Finally, a smile curved up in a wicked grin. “It means wolf. And that’s what I became. A lone wolf, feral, dangerous. You’ve seen me in the cage, Deva. That’s who I am.”
Deva angled her head. “I think there are many other layers to you, Mr. Voronov. I’m certain about it. Can I ask you something? It’s maybe too personal, and if you don’t want to answer, I will understand.”
Now the sorrow had turned to amusement. “I knew you would want to know the number of women I had sex with. You’ll have to give me a minute so I can calculate the total.”
Deva smiled and swatted his shoulder playfully. “Don’t, we probably don’t have enough time for that. I’m curious. What’s the nickname your mother gave you?”
Softness returned to his face. “It’s not original. It’s the diminutive of Aleksei in Russian. But coming from her lips, it was always special. She called me Alyosha.”
Deva smiled as she repeated the word. “Alyosha. I like it. It’s smoother on the lips.”
“Your accent is awful, lyubimaya. But I like how you say it.”
“There can’t be that many ways to say Alyosha.”
His smile returned full force. “Oh yeah. And the way you say it, it’s nothing like my mother. My name on your lips makes me hard.”
And the storm of lust was back in his eyes. A storm that made her skin tingle and her body restless.
Deciding that the dark clouds were gone, Deva indulged in much more interesting activities. Pushing herself on all fours, she nipped at his thigh and saw that another part of his anatomy was up for the challenge.
“Well, I think we can experiment with this new nickname, what do you think, Alyosha?” And she took him in her mouth.