Chapter 12
Vaughn
Her breath hitches in her throat, and I cover her mouth with mine. I have honestly never seen anyone as beautiful as she is. She’s always so damn pretty, but dressed up like this, with a tight ass dress and heels that I want digging into my back . . . she’s downright stunning.
She doesn’t hesitate, and when her tongue slides against mine, I grip the outside of her thighs. My fingers are so close to her perfect ass, but I’m not allowing myself to go there yet because if I do, we’ll never leave this apartment. And I’m taking her out on a damn date.
Her hands tug at my coat, and her tight little body presses against me. If I could continue to devour her with my mouth, I’d spend all night on her. I’d kiss every single inch of her skin and touch her in a way I never have before. I’d be soft and slow. Give her gentle and leave her wanting more. That’s what she deserves. Not a quickie in her hallway.
With that thought, I reluctantly pull back, but not before kissing her bottom lip, then her top. My lips linger on her forehead before I finally put a little distance between us.
If her flushed cheeks and her shaky hands didn’t give away her desire right now, the way she’s pressing her thighs together certainly does. And damn, that does something to me. Having a needy woman in front of me and walking away is not something I’m used to. But she’s not what I’m used to either. She’s greater than anything I’ve had before, and I need to show her that somehow.
“We need to leave before we take this too far.” My balls are turning blue as I say the unfortunate truth.
“Yeah, sure.” She tries to tug her skimpy little dress down as she walks along the hallway toward the kitchen, which does absolutely nothing.
I follow and wait by the door for her while she puts her coat on and grabs a little purse.
“Do you leave the lights on or off when you’re gone?”
“On.”
Waiting for her to lock the door, I try to quickly come up with an idea of where I could take her. She reaches for my hand, and I gladly hold it as we make our way to my truck. I press the unlock button on the key fob and open her door then help her up before getting in my side.
“Do you like seafood?” I ask.
“No. I hate it. Even the smell makes me gag.” She makes the sound, and I swear I don’t imagine my dick down her throat. I don’t.
“Okay, good. Me either.”
“Oh, thank God. Bryan always took me to fish frys, and I got stuck sitting there eating coleslaw and smelling like a deep fryer.”
Just the damn mention of his name tests the patience I’ve built up for this woman. “Hmm.” It’s all I can reply.
A new song comes on the radio, and she leans forward to turn up the volume. “I love this song. This band, Reason to Ruin, is my favorite. I have always wanted to go to a concert, but getting tickets is near impossible. Bryan called when they went on sale once, and they were sold out in less than five minutes.” Her singing is pretty damn good, and the irritation itching at me has faded as I listen to her sing.
Luckily, she doesn’t ask where we’re going, because I have no clue. I thought about a famous steak place down in the valley, but with that dress and the kind of trash who hangs around there, I decide against it. I’m not in the mood to deal with assholes tonight, even if they have a cop at the door.
The main strip of restaurants and stores will surely be the right place to go. I may have left home for a while, but nothing in this town changed. As I drive down the street, I pull into the parking lot of an Italian restaurant. “Are they closed?” I mutter it to myself, but she answers. “Looks like it. There’s a board on the window. I wonder if something happened.”
“Damn. Okay.” I steer us back onto the road. “Let’s see what else we can find. Do you know of anything I might not?”
“Huh?”
“I dunno. I thought you might know other restaurants or something since you’re in the biz.”
She giggles. “Yeah, we have a secret meeting every month and discuss which restaurant we’ll work on hiding from customers.”
I reach over and tickle her rib cage. “Smart-ass.”
“Stop.” She laughs and pushes my hand away. “I’m super ticklish, and I swear to you . . . I’m just really ticklish.”
“You will what?”
“Nothing. What about the Chinese place?”
I store the subject change in the back of my mind. “They close for the month. I tried to order takeout the other day, and it said on the voicemail.”
“Damn. Okay.”
I point at a well-known chain restaurant. “What about there?”
“Gross. No. Bryan and I used to go there, and every time, the service was either really shitty or the food was horrible. Or both. Hey, how about the Hibachi place?”
My jaw unhinges just enough to answer her. “Sure.” I put my blinker on and turn around at the next stoplight. The restaurant is only a couple of blocks away, so we get there in no time.
When I walk around the car, snowflakes begin to fall from the sky. It’s starting early this year. I wrap my arm around her shoulder to try to help ward off some of the chill from the air. Her jacket is a flimsy thing; surely, she’s going to be freezing, especially since her legs are bare.
The restaurant is busy, but we’re able to get seats right away at a large table with a family celebrating a birthday. We sit at the end, and after placing our orders, I turn my back to everyone else so I can focus on the gorgeous woman sitting next to me. Not more than a few minutes go by before the man wheels his cart up to the hot surface.
He confirms everyone’s order, and Rayne has a glass of sake while we watch him cook. “I could never do that,” she says, nodding at the chef chopping food.
“I bet you could.”
“No. My knife skills are not good.” She finishes her drink and turns toward me, so my legs are caging hers in. “My dad is an amazing chef. He can do some crazy stuff with knives, but I didn’t get that skill from him. Other than the basics, I’m terrible. I’ve had to get stitches in my fingers like six times over the years.” Her slender fingers wiggle in front of my face, and I grab her wrist.
I notice a very faint scar on her thumb and lean down to kiss it before letting her go. “I cut that one Christmas Eve. Bryan had to take me to the ER.”
Motherfucker. “I’m sure you’re better than I am.”
“Doubt it. I can cook, yes, but I swear I’m not good with a knife. My mom, she’s very fast but not as good as my dad. But he sucks at baking, and my mother is . . . she’s such a good baker. Although, Bryan was even worse than I am, so I didn’t feel as bad about myself when we were in the kitchen together.”
My neck involuntarily twitches, and I pretend not to have just heard that. “Why don’t you guys sell some of your mom’s baked goods at The Lunch Box?”
She starts to answer me when a piece of zucchini hits her in the forehead. My immediate reaction is to kick someone’s ass for throwing food at her, but then I remember where we are. I laugh at her as her face reddens, and I’m nailed on the cheek. She points and laughs, the rest of the table laughs, and the chef laughs, too, amused at his own antics.
We shelve the rest of the conversation and give him our attention while he finishes cooking and finally plating our meals. I scarf mine down, and Rayne only eats half of hers. I pay the bill and wait in the hallway for her to get out of the bathroom.
Pushing the door open, I’m met with a little resistance. “Damn, it snowed.”
“Of course, it did.” She sighs.
I get the door open all the way and then reach for Rayne. She comes closer, and I scoop her up. I love her giggle, and I want to hear it all the time. Forever. Her arm loops around my neck, and when I reach my truck, I have to balance her on my leg while I grab the key.
By the time I get into my seat, she’s buckled and ready to go.
“What did your parents do?” Her question comes out of nowhere and takes me completely off guard.
I’m ashamed of where I came from, but more importantly, I’m ashamed that I still try to maintain contact with a mother who abandoned me without a second glance. No, I used to. I’m not trying anymore.
I haven’t had many people in my life that have gotten close enough to me to even ask about my childhood, so I’m not prepared to answer it.
The truth-ish, I guess? “My stepdad was on disability, and Mom didn’t work.” Before she has the chance to delve deeper into it, I steer the topic to something else. “I’m really sorry this wasn’t what you were expecting. I’m honestly just not used to . . . this, Rainey.”
“To driving?”
I take my line of sight off the road for a brief second to see the smirk on her face. “You’re just full of one-liner’s tonight, aren’t ya?”
“I used to be like this. Funny, happy. But then Bryan disappeared, and along with that so did a part of me. I’m just glad to have it back now. Thank you for giving it back to me.”
My hands squeak when they grip the steering wheel tighter. That guy’s name is like nails on a chalkboard. She continues talking, and thank the Lord she doesn’t bring him up again, because my self-restraint is being tested something insane right now.
The drive back to her place takes a little longer because of the slick roads. When we get there, I carry her to her door and place a gentle kiss on her soft lips because I’d be an idiot not to taste her once more . . . even if it’s only short and sweet. When she steps inside, I back up. She looks at me confused. “You don’t want to come in?”
Hell yes, I want to. I want to rip that damn dress off and see what she’s wearing beneath it. I know she doesn’t have a bra on, because her nipples have been poking at the fabric all night. I wonder if she’s even wearing underwear. If she is, it’s definitely a thong. Probably white. Maybe with a little lace on it, too.
But what, half a dozen times tonight, she brought him up. If I don’t walk away now, I’m going to either say something I regret or do something to her I regret, like hiking her dress up to her waist and bending her over the couch to fuck my frustration out. It’s what I’ve done before, what’s familiar. Pretty much all I know. So me walking away is a revelation.
“I really should get going before the weather picks up.”
“The weather?” She crosses her arms and taps her foot.
“Yup. I really am sorry I fucked up and didn’t plan better.”
“You’re seriously leaving because of the weather?” Pissed off Rayne is even hotter when she’s horny.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, darlin’.”
I walk out without a backward glance, and by the time I get home, my disappointment in the evening has reached the peak. I rip my jacket off and throw it across the room. My boots closely behind. I just want a fucking do-over. I want a night when I’m not a moron and think to actually plan something nice, and I want a fucking night when she doesn’t bring up her ex.
My mattress cushions my fall, and I stare at the ceiling. The pieces of the cheap ass popcorn ceiling morph into a bunch of fingers shaking at me, taunting me, scolding me for being such a miserable prick. When I was finally privy to the information about Rayne’s past, I thought my feelings for her could outweigh my abandonment issues. But man, hearing her continually bring him up brought back the same self-hatred from my childhood. The same torment and the same fucking insecurity I had to teach myself to overcome.
If it wasn’t for you, he wouldn’t drink so much.
It’s your fault he hit you. You’re nothing but a pain in the ass.
You’re the biggest mistake of my life.
He’s better than you’ll ever be.
The constant stream of verbal abuse and demoralization I lived with until I was fifteen runs on a loop through my mind while I sleep. Just like last night, and the night before that, and every other night since I can remember.