Chapter 23
Rayne
“Let me ask you something.” I separate myself from Vaughn but hold his hands. “If the roles were reversed, would she help you?” When I ask him, I’m still struggling to comprehend all of this.
“No.” He answers immediately and without question. “She wouldn’t.”
“My gut is telling me that you’re doing the right thing, Vaughn.” I feel disgusted on his behalf. What kind of mother kicks her kid out on the streets and sits by and watches while he is beaten? “And would your paying these people get you into trouble? I mean I can’t imagine you’d want to have anything to do with them.”
“I’ve managed to keep myself pretty neutral, and as much as I’d like to say that Petey would let me just give him the cash and walk away, I don’t trust him. We were cool as kids, but things changed over the years. He and Dirt each have their territory and their . . . specialty. They’ve managed to remain cordial somehow. But money is the root of all evil, and I’ve been witness to the ramifications of what happens when you don’t pay up one too many times. Or when they figure out you actually have something they want, which is money ninety-nine percent of the time.”
“I’m sorry; I guess I’m just naïve to all of this. What do you mean?” I feel like he’s a different person than the one I’ve come to love. The things he’s talking about and how he grew up—it seems impossible that he’d end up the kind of man he is. The way he took down that guy was something I never thought he was capable of, but I guess if you grew up the way he did, it’s not an option.
“When you grow up in poverty and are forced to spend time on the streets, it opens your eyes to the truly fucked-up world we live in.” He drops my hands and tucks his into the back pocket of his jeans. “I have to tell you something, but you cannot ever tell Kenny.”
My heart speeds up, and a trillion scenarios pop into my head in a matter of seconds. “Oh, my God. What?”
“Baby, promise me. You have to promise.”
“Just tell me.”
He shakes his head, and the right side of his mouth lifts. “I’m not telling you unless you promise.”
Dammit, my word is my bond, and he knows that. “I’ll promise as long as it’s not something that can hurt him.”
“It’s not.”
“Brad and I aren’t related.”
“What?” Why in the hell would he lie about something like that?
“I met him in juvie.”
“Okay.” I rub my throbbing temples with the tips of my fingers. “What?”
“We were cell mates for about eight months. He had my back, and I had his. I was there before him and after; he left two months before me. When I got out, I wasn’t planning to see him again. Somehow, I ran into him like a week after I got out.”
“What did he get in trouble for?”
“Intent to sell. He really doesn’t want Kennedy to know. He’s ashamed of it.”
I almost can’t believe it. “I won’t say anything.”
“So when I ran into him, he told me he was leaving soon to go down south to work for his uncle’s construction company. We both went, and he moved back just two years later. When I told him I was coming back last year, he asked if I’d tell Kenny I was his cousin. So I did.”
“What does this have to do with anything?”
“Brad was dealing for Petey.”
“No.” I shake my head. “No way. He’s not a drug dealer.”
“Not now, but he was. That’s what he got arrested doing, babe. The point to this all is that even after getting caught and being thrown in detention, when Brad got out, Petey was still waiting for his money from the supply the police had confiscated from Brad. It wasn’t even a large amount.”
“Jesus, Vaughn.”
“That scar on Brad’s neck?”
“Yeah?” He has a straight line parallel with his jugular.
“It’s Petey’s warning that he’s been crossed once. If Brad hadn’t paid him before we went to Tennessee, he would have slashed the vertical line with a horizontal one. That’s his ‘symbol.’”
That’s something you see in a damn movie, my God. “How did he pay him?”
Vaughn looks up at the ceiling and huffs out a breath.
“Vaughn.”
“I don’t . . . He sold a gold necklace, and then I, uh, helped him rob a place for the other eight hundred and seventy-five dollars. We took off after Petey’s debt was paid.”
“Oh, my God. You helped him rob somewhere and got away with it. Why would you do that?”
“I was eighteen. I’m not proud of it, Rayne, but we had to get out of here. If I didn’t help him get the money to pay off his debt, the only other option I would have had for myself would have been to work for Dirt or Petey, and I knew if that happened, I’d never get out of the fuckin’ valley. I’d end up like everyone else down there.”
I sympathize with him, I do. And I understand his struggle. Not that it makes it right, but I ask him. “Where did you rob?”
He crosses his arms and glances at me before avoiding my eyes. As I’m waiting for him to tell me, I blow a lock of hair off my face. All of a sudden, it hits me. “No.” It wasn’t him. “Please tell me it wasn’t you.”
Instead of answering, his shoulder sags in defeat.
“No.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Vaughn, no.”
“It’s been killing me to keep it from you, but Brad—”
“That’s why you were so insistent on walking me out. You knew how fucking easy it was for someone to rob the restaurant!” I take a step back from him when he pushes off the counter. “Don’t.”
“Dammit, Rayne. It was fucked up; I know that.”
My throat dries up, and I press my lips together to stop myself from crying. “I don’t even know what to say. I can’t believe you. And Brad. My God, you two were the ones who robbed us.” More words of anger die on my tongue as he comes toward me. I remember it. I remember seeing how much it affected my parents.
When he grabs my hand to pull me close, I jerk my arm away. “Don’t fucking touch me!”
“Rayne, baby. Please.”
My brain feels like when you run so fast, you lose your footing, and you know you’re going to fall, but you can’t do anything about it. It can’t keep up; I can’t keep up. When he reaches for me again, I stumble to get away from him. “Is that why you’re with me? You feel bad for something you did years ago?”
“Fuck, no. Jesus, how can you think that?”
“Because you just told me you and my best friend’s fiancé were responsible for robbing my parents’ restaurant! Oh, my God—Kenny. I have to tell him!” I rush to the living room to grab my purse, and when my fingers graze the strap, Vaughn wraps his arms around me from behind.
“You can’t tell him.”
“Let me go.” I struggle to get out of his hold, but he just lifts me off my feet. When he begins to carry me down the hallway, I kick at his shins.
“Dammit. Stop.”
“No. Let me go.”
He brings me into his bedroom and lays me on the bed then crawls over me. My arms stretch but don’t hurt as he holds them above my head. Before he has a chance to cage my legs in, I try to knee him, but he dodges my attempt. I’m so upset right now that I swear I would hurt him if he let me go.
“Look at me.” His voice is softer than before. It lacks the strength but is definitely filled with regret.
I close my eyes and twist my neck, so I’m facing the wall. He wants cooperation, and he’s not going to get it.
“Fine.” His weight gets heavier as he presses his upper body against mine. The stubble on his jaw tickles my cheek as he puts his lips next to my ear. “I can’t lose you over something stupid I did when I was fighting for my damn life. Could I have left Brad to do it on his own, to abandon the only fuckin’ person who had my back? Yeah, I could have. But what did I say my biggest fault was?”
I’m too loyal.
“If I didn’t do that, if I didn’t help him out, I’d probably be dead right now. Brad would probably be dead, too. We did what we had to survive.”
I don’t even want to think about what they went through much less if they weren’t here. Brad makes Kenny so happy, and Vaughn, well, Vaughn makes me forget what sadness even feels like.
“I’m sorry.” He kisses my cheek, and even though I’m pissed at him, a shudder courses through me. “So sorry, Rainey. I plan on us being together for a really long time, and I don’t want this to be something I hide from you. I don’t want to hide anything from you. And I know it’s asking a lot for you to forgive me for it, but I’ll beg you if I have to. I can’t fuckin’ lose you. I love you too damn much, and part of my loving you means I will never lie to you.” He rubs the side of his face against mine. “But if this is too much for you, I . . . It’ll kill me, but I can’t expect you to stay if you hate me for it. I won’t force you to love me.”
I turn my head when his weight disappears and watch him walk out of the room with tense shoulders and hands fisted at his side. Instead of moving, I stare at his shitty popcorn ceiling.
When my parents’ restaurant was robbed, I remember it like it was yesterday. I got pulled out of school early, and my dad didn’t tell me what was wrong until I got home. Two masked men had walked into the restaurant with guns. One pointed it at my mom, and the other made my dad give him the money. They only took eight hundred and seventy-five dollars. One of them actually dropped some money on the floor after they counted it.
My mother was traumatized. She was scared to go to work, scared to be alone. They never caught the guys who did it . . . now, I know why.
Shit. So much makes sense, though. The reason Brad left such large tips then just stopped coming in. I thought it was just because he met Kenny. Now, I know why Vaughn was so damn worried about me walking to my car with the money envelope. But this was a huge mistake, not like when I accidentally put a lip-gloss in my pocket instead of paying for it at the store.
But he, they were doing it to save themselves. To have a chance at an actual future. Vaughn was, at least. I’ve met Brad’s family. They’re not poor at all. So I get Vaughn, but don’t quite understand Brad. I guess he wanted a fresh start. To get away from the drugs and stuff. I guess I can understand that. I get it. I’m not cool with it, but I get it.
When I get out of the bed, it creaks, and I expect Vaughn to come in, but he doesn’t. I make my way down the hall and find him staring out of the window with his back to me. “If you’re going to leave, just do it. I don’t want to watch you walk out.”
Just to be a bitch, I go to the door and open it then slam it shut. His head falls. “God-fucking-dammit.” He hits the wall next to the window and lets out a groan, a growl almost. I should say something, but I’m kind of mesmerized by him. After a few minutes, he hits the wall again then straightens out. When he turns around and sees me, his body actually jerks and the color that drained from his face comes back.
“I kind of love you, ya know?”
“Jesus,” he breathes.
“I get it. I’m not happy about it, but I get it.”
He still hasn’t moved a muscle as I make my way to him. When I stop inches from him, he opens his arms and wraps them around me as soon as I step into him. He doesn’t say anything, but I can feel the emotion coming from him—relief, regret . . . passion.
“You do realize Kennedy needs to know, right?” I mumble against his chest.
“It’s not our place.”
“How is it not? Kenny’s my best friend.”
“You’re not in his bed every night, darlin’. It’s up to Brad when and if he wants to share that with him. Besides”—he runs his hands up my back, and when he reaches my shoulders, he slides them around and up my neck to hold my face—“this, right here, is your place.”