Chapter Eighteen
Katie
It was tattoo day. I stood at Halen’s old dresser, searching through the clothes I’d brought with me. What did one wear to receive permanent ink? I tapped my chin, contemplating dramatically even though no one was around to see. My phone was resting on the dresser and I smiled when I saw my brother’s face light up the screen.
“I was beginning to think you’d been eaten by a bear.”
He snorted. “I think wolves would be most likely.”
“I miss you. How’s camp?” My brother and I were five years apart, which was a big age gap for siblings. We were close, though, due to years of being tucked safely away together. I wasn’t used to being apart from him like this.
“Camp is good. I was calling to check on you. Mom said you were spending the week at the Devil’s Share compound?”
I abandoned my clothing search and perched on the end of the bed. “Yeah, dad pretty much banished me here after he saw me talking to a man while I had a bottle of gin in my hand.”
“First of all, how did it feel? Rebelling for the first time in eighteen years? Did you pass out?”
“You’re funny.”
“I know.”
I could hear the smile in his voice, and it made me smile in return. “I’ll have you know that I’ve done plenty more rebelling since I’ve been here at the compound.” I got up and closed the bedroom door quietly. “These kids are crazy, Kase.” Images of being in the pool with Cash last night flashed in my mind. But that was crazy in a hot way. A new way that I wanted to do again and again and…
“I’ve heard that about them.”
“What? How? Their parents keep them out of the media more than ours do.” I’d never heard so much as a peep about the Devil’s Spawn, as they called themselves.
“Baseball. A few of my friends’ older brothers have played with some of them. Luke Matthews’s boys all play, I think.” There was a slight pause, like he was trying to remember exactly. “Either way, they all said after tournaments the boys would always want to party. Girls, booze, the whole thing.”
I nodded, more to myself since Kasen couldn’t see me. “Sounds about right.”
“I’ve gotta go, it’s time for practice.”
“I love you, kiddo.” I felt tears lodge in my throat. I really did miss him.
“You too, bye.”
I tossed my phone on the bed beside me and turned my head to look out the window. The window that Cash kept climbing through. Last night had been intense, amazing, and more than I’d ever imagined it would be. I wondered if the fact that I was so inexperienced bothered Cash? Or did he get a thrill from it? He was a player, but not. He’d been with a lot of girls masquerading as Crue. I wondered how many Cash had been with as himself?
“If you want to skip tattoos and keep wearing nothing but that short t-shirt all day, I’m game.”
I sat up and smiled. Cash was leaning against my once again opened bedroom door. His eyes were trained at the dangerously high hem of my shirt. “One little pool escapade and you’re a horn dog like your twin?” I got to my feet and skipped over to him.
He caught me when I jumped into his arms and backed into the door, shutting it as I kissed his lips. He chuckled. “Who’s the horn dog now?”
“You’re rubbing off on me.” He crossed the room and lay down on my bed.
“I would love to rub off on you, baby.” I shoved his chest playfully. “How’s Kasen? He liking camp?”
“He seems to be. But the kid eats, sleeps, and breathes baseball.” Cash ran his hands up my bare thighs and I fought the urge to grind against him. “I doubt there is a camp out there he wouldn’t like.”
“I’ve been to that one in Colorado. It’s a really good program.” His hands moved under my shirt and up my back. He pushed down, bringing me close enough that he could kiss my lips. “What’s it going to be, Katie Baby? You staying pant-less all day, or are we getting you tatted up?”
After last night, pant-less sounded tempting. But I’d wanted to do this for a long time. “Tatted up.” I hopped off him, grabbing some clothes from the dresser and then going into the bathroom to change.
“I’ve seen you naked.” Cash was speaking against the door, like his forehead was touching it.
“Not in the daylight, silly.” I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn’t see me.
“I’m adding it to the list.”
***
Cash drove us into Austin, maneuvering the early morning traffic beautifully. I had my driver’s license, but the only place I really ever drove was to school. And that was like ten minutes from the ranch.
“Okay, we’re here.”
Cash parallel parked the truck, which was an amazing feat in my opinion. When he turned off the ignition I opened the door and hopped out. He came around the front and took my hand. “Are you getting one too?”
He opened the shop’s front door for me. “Nah. Today is all about you, Katie Baby.” He palmed my ass as I walked past him. I liked the new handsy Cash Matthews.
The parlor was called Revival Ink, and at first glance it appeared to be exceptionally clean. Which I assumed was a major plus when it came to a tattoo shop. When we walked in, a heavily tattooed man came around the counter. His button-down had the sleeves rolled up and his grey beard was on point. He was older than I’d expected of a tattoo artist, maybe in his mid-fifties? But he was really freaking handsome.
“How can we help you today, folks?”
“I called the other day. We have an appointment.” Cash kept his hand on the small of my back and I barely resisted the urge to lean into him. Now was not the time to convince him to make out with me in the bathroom.
“Ah, then you must be Katie.”
I nodded. “I need to cross tattoo off my list of rebellion activities.” I held out the piece of paper I’d scrawled on last night when I’d gotten home. “This is what I want, but in a less chicken-scratch-looking font.”
The man read the lyric I’d handed him, his eyebrows rising. “I can honestly say, I’m surprised. Cute young girl like you? I expected an anchor, a heart, an arrow. Maybe a nice quote about living your best life.” He shook the slip of paper. “But this? This is a good tattoo, kid.”
I smiled. “Thanks.” The reassurance that what I was getting permanently placed on my body wasn’t utter crap was nice.
“Give me a few minutes to get set up.” He walked away and I sat down on the black leather couch in the waiting room.
It was a Tuesday morning, so it wasn’t surprising that we were the only two people in the shop. Who wanted tattoos with their cornflakes? Cash sat next to me, turning so he could see my face. “What did you pick?”
“But here in my heart, you get the best of my love.” I leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder. Never in my life had I touched a guy like this. Held hands, cuddled, kissed. This was all so new to me. But I think I loved it. “It’s a quote from an old Eagles song, ‘The Best of my Love.’ We have this old record player at the house. Apparently, when I was little my parents said that listening to the Eagles Greatest Hits album over and over was the only way to calm me down sometimes.”
Cash stood and helped me to my feet when the bearded man walked back into the room. “Okay, kiddo, I’m all ready for you.” He stuck his hand out—“I’m Waylon by the way”—and I shook it.
“I’m Katie, this is Cash.” They shook hands as well.
“Where do you want it?” He sat down on a stool, rolling over to a large mirror and gesturing for me to follow him.
“Here.” I pointed along the ribs on my right side, dragging my finger to curve around to under my breast. “Kind of wrapping around.” I figured it was an all-around good spot. Easily concealable, and also poetically near my heart.
He nodded. “Okay, we’ll need to lose the bra and then we can pin your shirt in place, it’s loose enough.”
Score one for Katie. I picked the right tattoo attire after all. I was wearing cutoff shorts, a vintage Mason Maxwell concert tee, and Chucks. The tee had belonged to my mom, and it was soft and perfectly faded. I spun around, putting my back to Cash and Waylon, removing my bra from under my shirt, then quickly stuffing it in my purse. Cash had seen and felt me naked last night. But it was an odd setting, broad daylight with another person in the room.
“I want you to lift your shirt, and I’m going to clamp it.” Waylon grabbed some giant chip-clip-looking contraptions and made them snap like alligator teeth. “Then I want you to stand straight and tall while I place the copy.” He held up the transfer paper of the song lyric I’d given him. “This font work?” It was long and scrolling, but not girly.
“Yes. Perfect.”
“Is it all spelled correctly?” I leaned down, scrutinizing each and every word until my eyes went blurry. When I nodded, he gestured toward the mirror. “Okay real straight and tall. Your arms out from your side.” After I was in position, he wheeled next to me on his little stool. He placed the paper, smoothing it over and then peeling it back. “That look good?” He pushed off, wheeling away. “Cash, come over and check it too.”
Cash had been standing behind me the whole time, his eyes watchful. Every time I glanced his way in the mirror, his gaze had been on mine. He was quiet, but I could feel his presence all the way down to my toes. He stepped up, putting his hands on my shoulders and turning me a little, assessing the tattoo placement for himself.
He smiled then nodded. “I think it’s perfect.”
Waylon patted the long leather table bed thing. “Hop up here, kiddo. Lay on your side and raise your arm above your head.” He went to the sink and washed his hands. Twice. “This won’t take too long at all.”
I lay down and Cash pulled up a chair, sitting where I could see his face. “You nervous?”
I shook my head. “I’m actually not.” I pursed my lips. “Which is surprising, right? I’ve never done anything like this. I’ve never…well, I never.” I was pretty sure I never summed up my life until I’d met Cash. Until I’d been banished to the Devil’s Share compound for safekeeping. My father would stroke out if he could see me right now.
“It’s not surprising, Katie Baby.” Cash reached out and cupped my cheek. “You take to rebellion like a fish to water.” His narrowed his eyes, a smile on his face. “I think you’ve always been a wild one. You only needed a nudge.”
I snorted. “You mean an accomplice?”
He leaned down, kissing my lips and then whispering softly. “I’ll break the rules with you as long as you want me to, baby.”
Chills broke out on my skin. I took in a deep breath, drawing in his cologne. I wanted him to stay, to keep kissing me. But I heard Waylon firing up the tattoo gun behind me. You’ve always been a wild one. That was similar to what my Uncle Pax had said before I’d left to tour with my dad. You were born with a wild heart and an old soul. I didn’t see myself the way they saw me, but I wish I did.
***
“So, tell me about the Eagles lyric. I heard you telling your friend here that you listened to the album all the time growing up.” I felt his hands rest on my skin and I closed my eyes, inhaling through my nose. Not nervous, simply getting prepared. “But why this song?” The gun made that crazy buzzing sound again and Waylon stretched my skin. “You talk, I’ll tat.”
When the gun came in contact with my skin, I clenched my teeth. It was uncomfortable, but not overwhelming. Completely manageable. “My biological parents passed away minutes before I was born. I was raised by my brother, who’s really been my dad my whole life. He and my mom have been together since I was an infant. She was a friend of his, and the NICU nurse who took care of me.” Waylon repositioned his hand, and started again. “My dad, uh, my brother…” I laughed without moving. “This is odd to explain out loud.”
“Nah, I follow you. You’re doing great.”
“It’s easier if I describe everyone the way my little brother does. He never sounds like a Lifetime movie when he talks about our family.” I liked Waylon. He reminded me of my Uncle Park to some extent. “My dad, and my grandpa, they were really close. From what my uncles tell me, it hit my dad pretty hard when they passed away. He and my mom, they talk about them all the time. They told us stories and kept pictures up. In a way, I felt like I knew my grandparents, even though all I have is stories, old interviews and movies my grandpa did.” I swallowed, closing my eyes again when he started moving over a sensitive spot. I felt Cash take my hand and I smiled. “I love them. I never met them, but there is a place in my heart that is only for them.”
“Well, I already approved of your choice.” Waylon chuckled. “But now? I think it’s fucking incredible.”
I went silent, my mind on the family I’d never meet. Sometimes when things got rough, when I felt stifled and on edge, I’d talk to them in my head. I’d tell them how I was feeling and what I was going through. I felt like they heard me, and I was always calmer afterward. Sometimes I wondered what my life would have been like if they’d lived.
“Okay, we’re all done.” He used a spray bottle, cold liquid coating my skin. Then a paper towel followed by something that felt a lot like ointment. “Take a look.”
Cash helped me to my feet and I went and stood in front of the mirror. I turned to him, a huge smile on my flushed face. “You like it?”
He nodded, kissing my shoulder. “I love it.”
“Thank you so much.” I spun around, laughing lightly. “You’re my favorite tattoo artist.”
“My pleasure.” Waylon rolled over on his cart, covering my new ink with saran wrap.
“How do I pay?” I reached for my purse, opening it and searching for my wallet.
“No, I want to pay.” Cash held out a credit card. “My add on the list, my treat.” He winked.
“Actually, it’s on the house.” Waylon stood, his hands on his hips. “Katie, I used to tattoo your dad—your biological dad.” My jaw pretty much dropped to the floor as he continued. “It wasn’t long before you were born, actually, the last time I saw him. He was here on business and I closed the shop for the day to accommodate him.” He ducked back behind the counter, and grabbed a framed picture I hadn’t noticed earlier then handed it to me. It was him and my dad, shaking hands.
“Oh wow.” I traced my dad’s face with my fingertip, a tear rolling down my cheek. I cleared my throat. “What did he, uh, what did he get?”
Waylon grabbed a tablet off the desk, scrolling through pictures. “Your heartbeat.” He turned it around and showed me. “Right on his ribs.” It was one of those lines from an EKG machine, must have come from one of my ultrasounds. “He talked about you and your brother— uh, your dad.” He chuckled. “You’re right, it’s not easy when you try to put it into words. Johnny was a good guy. All his tattoos meant a lot to him.”
I put the tablet down and threw my arms around Waylon’s waist. “Thank you for sharing this with me.”
He hugged me back then put his hands on my shoulders, moving me to arm’s length. “You’re welcome, sweetheart.” He laughed lightly. “You thought you were rebelling. The truth was, your dad said when his little girl was ready for her first piece, he’d bring her here to me.” He wiped at one of the tears trailing down my face. “Don’t cry, kiddo, he wouldn’t want that, not today.”
Cash had made everything perfect. Every first was an amazing memory because of him. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to thank him enough for today. For giving me a piece of my family, a piece that was only mine. This wasn’t a story passed down from my parents; this wasn’t an old magazine article I’d read. This was real life. This was an actual moment in time where I was connected to the man who gave me life.
And that was more special than anything I’d ever had.