Chapter Eleven
Pierce
Feeling nauseated, I went about my day on autopilot. I picked up Emily from school and helped her with her homework. She was bouncing off the walls happy after her sleepover. She was like a different kid in a way. I listened to her chatter about all the things they’d done last night, but all I could think about was the baby growing inside of me.
But it would have been impossible to forget I was pregnant, seeing as I’d spent much of the morning puking. I’d also spent a lot of energy trying to reassure myself that Seth was nothing like Baxter, and that this baby I carried would be safe. It was hard to shake the feelings of dread that attacked me. After all, I’d been through this first part before, and the alpha in charge of me and my unborn baby’s safety had been my worst nightmare.
“Are you feeling okay?” Emily’s soft voice cut into my dreary thoughts.
I sat up straighter and nodded. “Yes. Of course.”
“You look a little pale, and you had a big frown on your face.” She chewed her lower lip, watching me closely.
“I think I have a touch of the flu,” I lied.
“Maybe you should take a nap?”
That sounded amazing. I’d have loved to crawl into my bed and sleep. But I was in charge of watching over Emily and couldn’t shirk my duties. “I’ll be fine in a minute.”
“I’m not an infant. You can rest and I won’t get into trouble.”
“I wouldn’t feel right.”
She sighed and took the calculator from my chilled fingers. “Get up.”
“What?” I frowned.
“You’re going to lie down. That’s what I do when I don’t feel well, and it helps.” She stood and tugged me until I rose too. Then she led me out of the living room and to my bedroom. “Get in bed.”
“Emily, I can’t just go to bed. I’m the manny. I’m working.”
“As far as I can tell, all you’re doing is sitting there looking green. I’m afraid you’re going to barf on me.”
I scowled. “No.” I hoped.
“Take your pants off and get under the covers.” She pointed to the bed.
“Emily—”
“Shhh. Don’t argue so much.” She left the room.
I stared after her, feeling exhausted and confused. But when I glanced at the bed, it seemed to beckon to me. I unzipped my pants, slipped them off, and slid under the cool sheets, sighing tiredly. I closed my lids, telling myself I’d just rest my eyes. I’d get up in just one minute.
The sound of ice cubes jingling against the side of a glass made me open my eyes. Emily came in the room holding a plate with a package of Saltines and a glass of clear, bubbling soda. “This is what my mommy always gave me when I had a stomachache. 7UP and crackers.”
“But…” I sat up and frowned as she perched on the edge of the bed, setting the plate on my lap. “I’m supposed to take care of you.”
“We take care of each other. That’s what family does.” She handed me the soda. “Drink.”
A lump formed in my throat as I gazed on her sweet little face. “Emily… this is so nice of you.”
She sighed. “It’s nothing.”
I crunched into one of the crackers, wiping crumbs from the front of my shirt. “It’s been a while since anyone did this kind of thing for me.”
“Did your grandma take care of you when you were sick?”
I nodded slowly. “Yes. She did.” I smiled. “My mom did too before—”
Her gaze darkened. “Yeah.”
I forced the dry cracker down, taking a sip of the bubbly beverage. The flavor combination brought back a lot of memories. “My mom used to tell me stories when I was sick.” I laughed, feeling oddly sentimental. “They were always crazy adventure stories.”
“Do you remember them?”
I squinted. “Not really. I just know they were wild. She had a good imagination.”
Emily bit her lip. “My mommy didn’t really tell me stories.”
“I’m sorry.” I sat up a little more against the pillows.
She brightened. “She’d sing though. She loved this one song about milkshakes and bringing boys to the yard.”
I widened my eyes as I recognized the song. “Oh, well, that’s an interesting choice to sing to an eight-year-old.”
“My mommy was… different from the other moms.” She frowned. “Susan’s mom is like something out of a movie. She seemed perfect.”
“Not all moms are the same.” I thought about how distant my mother had been most of the time, especially after my dad went back to prison. I didn’t like to think about the day I’d found her hanging from the ceiling in her room. It made me sick and depressed because I hadn’t been enough to keep her here. Maybe experiencing that as a kid was why I’d never felt like I would ever be enough for anyone.
Emily covered my hand with hers. “It’s okay, Pierce.”
When I looked up, her gaze was warm. I smiled at her, finding it difficult to speak.
“Someday, when I’m grown up, I’m going to be a good mommy. And you’ll be a good daddy. Because we know what not to do,” she said firmly.
I laughed. “I guess that’s kind of true.”
She took one of the crackers and bit into it. “You’re a better cook than Susan’s mom.”
“Really?”
“Yep.”
“Huh. It’s nice to be good at something.”
She wagged her finger at me. “You’re good at lots of things. Don’t be like that.”
I grinned. “When did you become the adult and I became the kid?”
Giggling, she shrugged. “I don’t know.”
When we heard the front door open, we both looked at each other. “Is your dad home already?” I felt guilty about being in bed, and I started to throw back the covers, but Emily frowned.
“No. You stay in bed.”
“Emily—”
When Seth appeared in the doorway, my face felt like it was on fire. “This isn’t what it looks like,” I said.
He moved into the room, his brows pulled tight. “Are you okay?”
“He was green,” Emily said cheerfully.
“I’m fine. Really.” I laughed awkwardly.
“Good job getting him in bed, Emily.” Seth nodded approvingly. “I don’t know how you managed it, but bravo.”
Emily stood. “You’re home so early.”
I was pleased she seemed more at ease with her dad than usual. “What time is it?” I asked.
“Six forty-five,” Seth said.
“Since when do you get home this soon?” I managed to slip the blankets off without Emily noticing.
“I wanted to get home and see my two favorite people.” He smirked.
My face warmed, and Emily smiled.
“I haven’t made dinner yet.” I pressed my stomach, trying not to show that the idea of cooking made me queasy.
“No need. I thought we’d have Chinese delivery tonight, Seth said, studying me. “Give you a break from cooking for one night.”
I was surprised at his thoughtfulness. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I know.” He turned to Emily, and he held out a menu. “Pick what you want, and then give it to Pierce.”
She squinted at the menu. “Ooh. Orange chicken is my favorite. Oh, and fried rice.” She licked her lips.
I smiled at her enthusiasm, even though the idea of food made me sick to my stomach. “I don’t need anything.”
Seth scowled. “Yes you do.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You still need to eat.” He gave me a pointed look. “How about some wonton soup? That’s nice and mild.”
I sighed. “Fine.”
Emily jumped up and down. “Will we get a fortune cookie too?”
Seth grinned. “Yes. I think so.”
“Yay!” She handed the menu back to Seth and ran out of the room.
“She seems more relaxed around you.” I laughed.
“Definitely.” He moved closer, his gaze intense. “You’re still feeling sick?”
“It’s not a onetime thing.” I grimaced. “Get used to the sounds of me hurling every morning because that’s probably going to happen.”
He crossed his arms. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“It kind of is.”
I shifted uneasily. “Well, at least at the end of all of this, there will be a baby.”
His face flinched. “Yep.”
So far, disbelief was the only real emotion he’d shown about the pregnancy. I still couldn’t tell if he was upset or excited about the prospect of a baby. Hell, I didn’t even know what I felt about it most of the time. I had moments of joy, quickly followed by fear and confusion.
When he came closer and sat on the edge of my bed, I was surprised. I scooted over, and he frowned. “I’m just making room for you,” I said softly.
“Not trying to get away?”
“Not yet.”
He scowled. “What does that mean?”
“It was a joke.” I clasped my hands over my stomach.
“Oh.” He sighed. “I thought about you all day.” He touched my hand, stroking his finger across my skin and leaving a tingling trail.
“Really?” My pulse picked up at his touch.
“Yes.”
“Were they good thoughts or bad?”
He winced. “Mostly good.”
His expression was impossible to read. I was usually pretty good at summing people up, but Seth always gave me a run for my money. “Why were some bad thoughts?”
He pulled his hand away and studied me. “You said this morning that you’d gone through this before. Alone. What… what did you mean?”
I glanced toward the doorway, nervous that Emily might walk in. I didn’t want her hearing any of my horrible stories about my time with Baxter. “Is it important?”
Narrowing his eyes, he said, “Have you had babies with other alphas?” He sounded breathless.
“Not… not exactly.”
He looked confused.
I decided he deserved to know the truth, so I sucked in a deep breath and thought of how it was best to explain things. “When Baxter had me… um… and he let other alphas do things to me…” I swallowed, feeling nauseous. “They didn’t always wear protection.”
He stilled.
“So a few times it resulted in pregnancies.” I hated telling him this stuff. It made me feel dirty and unworthy of him. But if we were having a kid together, he probably needed to know more about me. Even the disgusting stuff. After all, if my past was too much for him and he was going to walk out on me, I might as well find that out now.
He clenched his jaw, and his face flushed red.
“That’s when I discovered what I was,” I said quietly. “Baxter forced me to abort by giving me drugs and—” I shook my head. “I couldn’t stop him. I just didn’t know how to stop him.”
His expression changed and he leaned toward me. “You’re not to blame. You know that, right?”
My eyes stung and I tried to fight back my emotions. “They were little innocent babies, and I couldn’t protect them.”
“Shit, Pierce.” He moved and touched my cheek. “Don’t you dare blame yourself. Jesus, Baxter was a monster. You were a victim yourself.”
I was embarrassed when a tear trickled down my cheek. I winced and wiped it away roughly. I never thought about this stuff because it got me too upset. I didn’t want to feel this pain. I couldn’t handle the guilt that came with these memories. “I did fight him,” I said, my voice trembling. “But he was just too fucking strong.”
With a groan he pulled me into his arms. “God damn that bastard.” His voice shook with rage.
When a sob broke from my tight throat, I was mortified. And when the tears began to fall freely, I was embarrassed but incapable of stopping them. It was like a floodgate opened and every depressing, sad feeling I’d bottled up for years spilled out. “I tried to fight him, I promise.”
“Shhh.” He tightened his arms. “It’s okay.” He stroked my head and just kept repeating those gentle words over and over until the tears seemed to slow.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried. Maybe it was when I’d first realized Baxter was the devil and I’d been tricked. Maybe it was the first time a fucking alpha had taken me by force. I couldn’t even really remember, it had been so long. Mostly I’d tried to keep my emotions in check because I’d hated the idea that Baxter would think he’d broken me.
“He didn’t win,” I said in a raspy voice.
“No. Of course not.” He kissed the side of my head.
“I survived.”
“Yes.” He straightened, holding my blurry gaze. “You’re here. You’re safe.”
“Am I safe?” I gave him a hard look.
“Nothing is going to hurt you or our baby.” His voice was gruff, and for the first time I noticed his eyes were red rimmed. “I claimed you. You’re mine. You’re safe. I’ll die before I let anyone near you. No one will ever touch you again if you don’t want them. That goes for me too, Pierce. Do you understand? You’re not my property. You’re my mate. We take care of each other; we don’t hurt each other.”
My eyes teared up again at the raw passion in his voice, and I found myself nodding. “Yeah. We’ll take care of each other.”
He gave a stiff laugh. “I don’t know what I’m doing. Not really. I mean, I’ve never claimed anyone before. I’ve never been an alpha with a family until Emily came along. But I think I’m doing okay.” He looked uncertain. “At least I’m trying.”
His vulnerability got through to me. “You’re doing great.”
“Emily actually talks to me now.”
I laughed, feeling a little more lighthearted. “Yeah. She’s definitely warmed up to you.”
He sighed. “We’ll just do our best with this whole baby thing.”
I sniffed. “Okay.” He smiled at me, and my stomach fluttered in a good way.
“It was weird at work today. I had trouble concentrating. I just kept thinking about you and the baby.” He shook his head. “My disbelief seemed to turn into anticipation about halfway through the day.”
“I was surprised you got home early.”
“So was my boss. I never leave early. If anything I stay late.” He bit his lip. “But I wanted to see you. I needed to be sure you were okay.”
“I’m fine.”
He frowned. “You weren’t fine. You were terrified and I could sense that. Even at work I could just feel it in my gut.”
I grimaced. “I feel better now.”
“My mom always said if you hold that stuff in, it will eat a hole in your soul.”
I pressed my hand over my heart, rubbing in a circular motion. “Ouch.”
He grinned. “She had a way with words.”
“Definitely.” I studied his smooth features. “I remember you said she used to tell you that any problem could be worked through if you just talked it out. Do you think that’s true?”
“Well, not every problem. You can’t talk a tornado out of sucking you into oblivion.”
The press of his thigh against mine stirred arousal in me, and I licked my lips. “I like it when you say the word ‘sucking.’”
He smiled, a little glint in his eye. “Oh, yeah?”
I nodded. “Yep. Gives me ideas.” I felt so much better after our little talk. His capacity to comfort me had been surprising, and it made me see him differently. I felt closer to him. More willing to be vulnerable.
He glanced toward the door. “Are these ideas something that could maybe wait until Emily goes to bed?”
“I hope so.” I smiled. “It would be embarrassing to climax while eating my fortune cookie.”
He stood and looked down at his raised crotch. “Shit. You’ve got me all turned on. Now what?”
“I guess if you need to talk to Emily, just back into the room?”
He snorted a laugh. “Very funny. This is all your fault. I was just being a good alpha and comforting my omega, and then you had to go and get me all turned on.”
“Hey, you brought up ‘sucking’ first.”
“And I’ll be sure to bring it up later too.” He winked and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I’m just going to call in the food order now.”
“You do that.”
Once he’d gone, I sighed contentedly and touched my stomach. “I don’t want to get my hopes up, but I think maybe we’ll be okay this time, baby,” I whispered.